Fright Night To Be Remade. And Really, Just Stop Already!

Posted by Mister Hand (misterhand@filmschoolrejects.com) on September 20, 2007

I already told you, Hollywood. I told you to stop it. What do I have to do? Do I have to beg?

Not too long ago, I realized that my girlfriend, some years my junior, had never seen the film Fright Night. I had fond memories of the 80’s Hitchcockian vampire flick, so I rented it, and we watched. Whoa. There’s a movie that didn’t age well. Still, for its time, it was a very fun B-movie with an eager cast, featuring the last good role Roddy McDowell would ever play before his death.

Well, the Hollywood remake machine has ridden its Satanic steed through the forest where old horror films go to die in obscurity, and they have sniffed out Fright Night like a Ring Wraith drawn to the Ring of Power. Frodo cowers beneath a knotted log, along with his faithful companion Samwise. He puts the ring to his finger. It calls to him in an ancient language not spoken since –

Sorry. I got a little carried away with my metaphor.

The point is, according to Shock Till You Drop.com, Sony’s Screen Gems is actively searching for a writer to pen a Fright Night remake. Except, according to the man set to be executive producer for the project, Scott Strauss, the film won’t take place in a quiet suburban neighborhood. Instead, the thinking is that it should be relocated to, perhaps, an amusement park.

And that makes me wonder–when was the last time you saw a good movie that was set in an amusement park? I suppose Rollercoaster was okay. But I can’t help but be reminded of Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park. (Then again, Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park just might be the most awesomely awful movie ever made. But that only reinforces the notion that there’s no point in revisiting the amusement park as a main location for a film.)

Oh well. Trying to explain to Hollywood that remakes are regressive is like to trying to explain the concept of free speech to someone who wants to pass a flag burning amendment to the Constitution. If you don’t get it, then you just don’t get it.

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