Fox Calls Sloppy Seconds With ‘Romancing the Stone’ Remake

Posted by Rob Hunter (rob@filmschoolrejects.com) on December 4, 2008

Romancing the Stone

Romancing the Stone is a great movie. It’s unassuming and the fun sneaks up on you. Start watching even today and before long you realize that you’re really enjoying the adventure, the comedy, and the interactions between Michael Douglas, Kathleen Turner, and Danny DeVito. And yet the sequel, Jewel of the Nile, which reunited all three stars, sucked crocodile balls.

Fox is hoping to recreate the magic with a remake of Romancing the Stone, and have tapped Daniel McDermott to write it. So what does this tell us? Besides the obvious that Hollywood is brain-dead I mean. McDermott co-wrote the recent hit, Eagle Eye, so immediately I expect the adventures of Jack Colton and Joan Wilder to be both highly implausible and filled to the brim with unnecessary CGI. I’m probably being unfair, but damnit, Hollywood started this fight with their endless remakes…

Romancing the Stoneis about a mousy romance writer whose sister is kidnapped in the untamed wilds of Columbia. She sets out to find her sibling, and meets a snarky (and occasionally inept) soldier-of-fortune named Jack Colton. The duo bicker, search for treasure, have a dangerous adventure, and of course, fall in love along the way.

So who would star in a remake? Gerard Butler and Diane Lane? No, the studio will probably want to aim younger. (Plus, Butler recently did a slightly similar role in Nim’s Island.) Nathan Fillion and Natalie Portman? No, that pairing would never happen no matter how much I wish for it. So I’m going to guess Shia LaBeouf and Kristen Bell. LaBeouf already has experience swinging from trees…

Who should star in the remake?

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Alericc

No one, they need to leave this one alone since the will try to make it too Vanilla for todays audiances.

TL_is_now_TJL

Why do I think Kate Hudson will star in this?

Kristina

I mean... Nathan Fillion should always star in everything.

Neil Miller

And Matthew McConaughey? I thought so as well...

TL_is_now_TJL

It'll be like Fools Gold, but with a big ass diamond!

Pass.

D Train

Because Kate Hudson stars in everything that sucks. She is the stick in my craw, the chap in my ass, the reason my girlfriend wants to go to Blockbuster. Screw you Goldie Hawn... Use birth control next time.

And if you think this movie won't star Mathew McConahay, you got another thing comin.

CaptainReg0981

Ummm... I agree with Rob that hollywood has run out of ideas and remaking e verything that the hollywood can touch on.

Gretchen

I think I've figured out wy we've got so many crappy remakes this year: it's fallout from the writers' strike last year. I mean, it takes at least a year for a movie to get to this point, right? So this was probably Hollywood scrambling to keep making money when it looked like they would lose their creative writers. I haven't seen a single movie coming out next year I want to see (except Harry Potter: Half-Blood Prince, and considering we've still got David Yates directing, I'm not expecting much). I about projectile-vomited when I saw the trailer for Race to Witch Mountain; this one just makes me lose all hope for Hollywood. :(

Fox Calls Sloppy Seconds With ‘Romancing the Stone’ Remake

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