Comments on: Conan Character Breakdown Reveals Names, Skin Tones

By: Nastro

Nastro — Sat, 02 Jan 2010 01:26:53 +0000

On Conan: Imagine if, in the upcoming Hobbit movie, Bilbo Baggins was re-imagined as a badass warrior with a drinking problem. He's a tough man of few words (like Clint Eastwood), and he has a dark, mysterious past. Bilbo, along with his sexy female gypsy companion Gollum, are on a quest to avenge the murder of his people, who were viciously murdered by the evil Warlord Gandalf, leaving Bilbo the Last of His Kind. Bilbo & Gollum seek out the Elves, a technologically advanced spacefaring race who live on a giant, ring-shaped space station called the One Ring. The elves's power-armored foot-soldiers are known as Orcs. So Bilbo, Gollom, & the Orcs wage war on the evil warlord Gandalf & Gandalf's army of Dwarven Rangers. They recover the Aragorn, the lost power-source of the One Ring, & use the Rings awesome firepower to save the day.

If that sounds lame & stupid to you, well, that's exactly what they're doing with Conan. I read the script, and it's HORRIBLE. It's like they went out of their way to not use ANY of Robert E. Howard's themes, ideas, background setting, or characters.

Just think if Hollywood gave Spider-Man, Harry Potter, or Batman the same treatment? Spider-Man would be a popular jock, who uses his spider-powers to make money as a mercenary. Harry Potter would be a Clint Eastwood tough-but-silent-badass, and Batman would be....well...Joel Schumacher already did this kind of thing to Batman.

Anyway, not only is the script AWFUL by itself, they're COMPLETELY changing the character of Conan.

They're totally altering Conan's world (imagine if, in the Lord of the Rings, the Hobbits were from Mordor - that's what the Conan script does).

They're outright ignoring Howard's themes - like if Spider-Man was about revenge instead of Great Power/Responsibility...that's what this new Conan movie does.

Now, the old Schwarzeneggar movie did the same thing - used nothing more that the names from the Conan stories while completely changing and reinventing everything else. Fans of the books were excited when we initially heard about the NEW movie - would we FINALLY get to see an actual Conan movie? The answer, as it turns out, is no.

It's. Going. To. SUCK.

By: Bob

Bob — Fri, 01 Jan 2010 16:17:39 +0000

If this is how the film is shaping up it sounds truly horrendous. Cliched, ridiculous and far-removed from the original stories in just about every way. REH's writings were dynamic, intelligent and driven, sounds like what we will get here is sub-adolescent tosh

By: Andradir

Andradir — Fri, 01 Jan 2010 15:09:50 +0000

Oh my god. This has nothing to do with the character “Conan” invented by Robert E. Howard.
Stop the production, it is an insult to all readers of Howard's work and to all cineasts who know about good movies. This one will be crap.

By: hengfashi

hengfashi — Fri, 01 Jan 2010 04:56:01 +0000

it seriously boggles the mind. Conan should be an epic franchise, those who invoke LotR are right on the money- this could and should be LotR for adults with mulitiple movies like 007. But they will never get that with this banal drivel. The script is horrendous. Gaping plot holes and ridiculous dialogue will tank this and Conan will once again be movie toxic, just like conan the destroyer soaked the character in radioactivity. Conan's magic is best captured by his creator, Robert E. Howard. I don't know why this is so difficult- stop 're-imagining' 're-booting' or 're-anythinging' and present Howard's vision. That's the one that counts and that is the one people want to see. Sadly, ironically, tragically, anyone who does come to the character from the pastiche versions like the movies or non howard stories, always agrees that the Howard stories are the best. So what is the problem. Can anyone imagine someone coming along and 're-envisioning' Tolkein's Aragorn or Frodo? Making them psychopaths? That's what just happened with Conan. These people have repeatedly shown they know nothing of Conan nor do they respect him. To them he is just a name to stick into a movie title. After reading the script I openly laughed it was so bad. Conan is not a medieval Jason. The whole plot device of the girl being used as a sacrifice is a joke- it makes no sense within the context of the story, and that is the major plot. LAME.

Meanwhile there are literally brilliant stories written by Howard ready to go.

By: Amra the Lion

Amra the Lion — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 02:03:46 +0000

1. Stop the current production.

2. Get an REH expert in the same room with the scriptwriters. Have them read the books and instruct them that the Conan stories will serve as the building blocks for the movie, and nothing else.

3. Use this film as a chance to reinvent the pop cultural idea of Conan.

Look at Casino Royale. Batman Begins. Pirates of the Carribean. All of these films took dead characters, dead franchises, and dead genres and reinvigorated them by not playing it safe. Even fans of Conan the Barbarian don’t want a rehash of that. We are twenty years older now, and we need something more sophisticated. Bryan Singer learned that the hard way with Superman Returns. This can NOT be a nostalgia project.

Visit http://www.amrathelion.com/index.php/Nemedian-C... for more information.

By: Amra the Lion

Amra the Lion — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 20:03:46 +0000

By: kikefriki

kikefriki — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 09:31:25 +0000

Oh my god. This is truly CRAP!!! Cliché, cliché, cliché, cliché. Conan is sooo great… why this clowns are in charge?

By: Kike

Kike — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 09:29:00 +0000

Oh my god. This is truly CRAP!!! Cliché, cliché, cliché, cliché. Conan is sooo great… why this clowns are in charge?

By: Bombatta

Bombatta — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 23:27:50 +0000

After Jackson's LOTR, how is it that we can still see classic fantasy treated with such disrespect?

By: amrathelion

amrathelion — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 16:34:46 +0000

It was said that “This movie promises to be a complete revamp that stays closer to the original source material by Robert E. Howard”, but the fact of the matter is that it is no where near what Robert E. Howard had written. The writers have no idea of who or what Conan is. The said can be the same for Robert E. Howard. From what can be read so far about the cast call, this movie will not go to theatres or dvd but straight to SyFy.

Conan get's to watch his father die. Again. This time it's from torture. Blah. Sack the hell out of Venarium and burn it to the ground!!! That's how Conan's father should die if HE MUST BE INCLUDED. That's how a Cimmerian should see his father go, dying in the bright madness of battle and not in some lame ass torture that is just completely lame. How do I know that it's lame? Because it's lame. Howard himself did not give a tale dedicated to Conan's origin, L. Sprague de Camp stayed away from it, so now let's hire D/O to fix all that. Sheesh. Remo? A character named Remo? Remo Williams?