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Welcome to your existential crisis of the week. I realize a lot of you are already foaming at the gears at the very idea of another Transformers movie on the horizon, but now to make matters worse, Bay is being as delightfully enigmatic as he always is.

While reporting on his trip down to Haiti to drop off some aid workers, he made a quick comment about how he’s been scouting Chicago, D.C., and Detroit for Transformers 3. He also mentioned:

The script is feeling very different from the other two.”

Since this statement is meaningfully devoid of meaning, I figure we could put our heads together and figure out what it means.

Here are a few ways the new script could be different from the others:

1. It will be a period piece shot during the Revolutionary War, featuring a Decepticon that transforms into a musket.
2. The words “Hero Shot,” “Slow Motion,” and “Megan” will be shoved together only 15 times.
3. It will all be in iambic pentameter.
4. It will be told through the point of view of Optimus Prime as he goes through his own young love troubles with a female Autobot far out of his league.
5. It will be incredibly progressive on race and gender issues.
6. Orci and Kurtzman won’t be writing it.

As we all know, that last one is true. Currently, Ehren Kruger is the only one slated as a writer on the project. Orci and Kurtzman have moved on because they want the series to be fresh.

And according to Bay, at least, that looks like the direction it’s headed.

Hopefully in iambic pentameter.

What do you think? How could they make the next script different?