Seeing as 1987’s The Garbage Pail Kids Movie is widely considered one of the weirdest and worst movie adaptations of all time, you might think that ever getting another live action film about gross little doll-like kids who mutilate themselves would be too much of a long shot to actually happen. But, in thinking this, you would be giving Hollywood too much credit. The Garbage Pail Kids are something that people vaguely remember from the 80s, and Transformers proved that something people vaguely remember from the 80s could theoretically translate to box office dollars, so we’re all going to get another chance to spend time with beloved characters like Greaser Greg and Valerie Vomit.
Those whose history doesn’t go as far back as the 80s might be wondering what the heck The Garbage Pail Kids are. Well, they were a series of trading cards launched back in 1985 that parodied the Cabbage Patch Kids phenomenon of the time (think of Cabbage Patch Kids as the 80s version of Tickle Me Elmo). In each card, cartoonist Art Spiegelman introduced us to another warped, gross version of a Cabbage Patch looking kid.
The cards were pretty childish and stupid, but mostly harmless fun, so, naturally, conservative types became very concerned that they were getting popular with kids and started trying to get them banned. The controversy, of course, made them even more popular with kids, and eventually led to the live action film being produced.
That the feature film was released at the height of the Garbage Pail Kids craze and was still a massive flop doesn’t seem to be a concern of former Disney CEO Michael Eisner, who in many ways is the force behind this new adaptation. According to Deadline Mount Kisco, his The Tornante Company bought Topps trading cards back in 2007, and this project is set to be the first thing they do with the intellectual property obtained in the purchase. Heaven help us.
Just to remind ourselves of what an epically bad idea this is, let’s all reacquaint ourselves with the trailer for The Garbage Pail Kids Movie:
Links provided by Zergnet, which sounds like a villain but is really quite helpful.
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