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I guess it had to happen sometime. First there was Eragon, the work of sixteen year old Christopher Paolini. But now in the world of child book authors, Paolini is over the hill. He probably even shaves by now.

Short of embryos penning “How I Grew in the Womb” there had to be someone younger, newer, fresher, to step up to the plate. The news is the latest work optioned from an underage author was written by someone whose feet still dangle when he sits in a chair. He’s inked the deal in crayon. Alright, that’s ridiculous. His parents had to sign for him.

This newest Wunderkind is nine year old Alex Greven of Castle Rock, Colorado, a child prodigy in the self help field. He wrote a book called “How to Talk to Girls” which started as a cheap pamphlet before being picked up by Harper Collins.

Alex felt for his brethren and decided to write a book to help fourth graders everywhere learn how to deal with the ladies. The very concept of this thing scares me, but what do I know?

Here is a sample from Alex’s masterwork:

“Comb your hair and don’t wear sweats; control
your hyperness and cut down on sugar if necessary; a crush is like
a love disease that can drive you mad; it is easy to spot pretty
girls because they have big earrings, fancy dresses and all the
jewelry but are like cars that need a lot of oil.”

Exactly what kind of movie Fox, which has acquired the rights, is going to make of this forty six page book is anyone’s guess. All I know is that publishing is a cutthroat business. Fox better get this book on film quickly because I expect any day now that a plagiarism suit will be filed by little five year old Tiffany Shakespeare Hemingway alleging Alex ripped her off.