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Oh, wait. No. That’s just my wishful thought process getting ahead of the actual story.

J.J. Abrams (and Bad Robot) will produce Jay Dyers’ script Hot for Teacher, recently purchased by Paramount Pictures. Variety reports the film is about three high school students dead-set on getting some action before graduation. And by action, I mean of the penis-and-vagina variety. One of the boys has a jones for a teacher and pursues with fervent determination. Think American Pie meets Notes on a Scandal.

Abrams is not set to direct, because he’s busy with the upcoming Star Trek film, amongst other big name projects. Dyer produces the Showtime series “Californication.” No director is attached to the project yet. David Lee Roth, however, IS available.

…Six Degrees of… J.J. Abrams to the Van Halen song “Hot for Teacher”:

J.J. Abrams produces “Lost,” which at one time starred Ian Somerhalder, who was in The Rules of Attraction with James Van Der Beek, who watched his teacher strip to the tune of “Hot for Teacher” in Varsity Blues. BAM! “I don’t want. Your life.”

Excuse me, I’m going to go drink my 4th cup of coffee now.