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While Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony are still counting their $6 million they grabbed from tabloids for the first photos of their babies, FSR’s resident Fat Guy Kevin Carr is helping his family avoid the paparazzi clamoring to get the first snapshot of his newborn son.

Reports have leaked out from an undisclosed location that Kevin and his wife Carolyn have welcomed a new baby boy into the world at 8:30 a.m. on Wednesday, May 7.

The family was disturbed by the overwhelming number of photographers, news cameras and helicopters circling the hospital where the baby was born. The police were called in to disperse crowds. Tear gas was used. It was anarchy.

Even in the flurry of media, a few slipped through the cracks and have jeopardized the delicate nature of whoring out your children for cold, hard cash.

The Carrs have already received an undisclosed lump sum cash payment from Film School Rejects for the exclusive first photos of Nicholas Ronon Carr. However, due to a glitch in security, one paparazzi managed to sneak into the maternity ward and snap these images before being arrested, booked and taken to a dingy jail somewhere in the backwoods of Ohio.

In the interest of protecting its investment in exclusive celebrity baby photos, FSR has decided to print these images, which are sure to surface on the internet elsewhere…

Keep watching Film School Rejects for more updates on Baby Carr, including the real first photographs of the child and the upcoming Annie Liebowitz photo spread.