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5. My Life In Ruins

Didn’t the failed television show My Big Fat Greek Life prove that one-time indie darling Nia Vardalos was a one-hit wonder? Was it really necessary to tell a new version of the story with the actress on the wrong side of 45 as a Greek tour guide instead of woman who worked in a Greek restaurant? Vardalos apparently did uncredited rewrites, further proving her splash-in-the-pan worth as a celebrity. Dare we suggest the cheeky pun that the movie should have been called My Career in Ruins?

4. Not Easily Broken

Quick show of hands… who remembers this flick? Nobody? Well, that’s a good thing. It came out in damn near a whole year ago, and it was based on T.D. Jake’s novel of the same name. Not Easily Broken was the worst of the Tyler Perry wannabe films that used contrived plot devices, caustic characters, silly cliches and unrealistic conflict resolution to beat a lesson into its audience. If only there was a dude in a fat suit, then it might have been a hit.

3. Old Dogs

It is rare that a film can foretell its utter awfulness by its name alone. But when the director of Wild Hogs plucks a star from that hit to lead the cast in a film called Old Dogs, it’s so clear they’re trying to catch lightning in a bottle again. Is director Walt Becker planning on calling his third film Stupid Frogs? With ludicrous situations, manic characters and one of the worst posthumous scenes with Bernie Mac, Old Dogs should have been put to sleep. The only thing it was missing to make it craptastically perfect was Eddie Murphy in drag.

2. The Stepfather

Hollywood loves shitty remakes. They also like PG-13 horror movies. And they also like not screening turds for the reviewing press. Lucky us, we got all of these in one package with The Stepfather. If there were any likability to the characters in this movie, we might have been worried that they were so stupid to get into dangerous situations. The saddest part of this story is that most people have forgotten the far superior original film from 1987. And let’s face it, Dylan Walsh is no Terry O’Quinn.

1. Observe and Report

In the hallowed halls of Film School Rejects, this film topping the worst of the year list might be one of the most controversial things to happen in years. While some folks liked it, others hated it for its utter failure to be funny or clever. Screw the feminists who cried “date rape.” That’s not what made it a bad movie. It was the awkward use of violence and unfunny realism of bipolar disorders that made the film fail. As Anna Faris’ character of Brandi yells, “It was horrible!”

DISHONORABLE MENTIONS

Orphan // The set-up and presence wasn’t bad. But the execution with dumbass characters and ridiculous logic made this movie fail. Not even the WTF ending could save this ugly little orphan.

The Fourth Kind // I don’t want to spoil anything, but I will. Nothing in this movie was based on any real event! And it sucked.