WTF: Junk on the Screen

Posted by Kevin Carr (kevin@filmschoolrejects.com) on October 1, 2008

R Rating for Graphic Nudity

Don’t let the title of this article fool you. I am not specifically talking about bad movies. Sure, it’s September, which means the release schedule is Hollywood’s way of blowing its nose to clear the way for the blockbusters of the holiday season.

While some movies I’m talking can be considered junk, it’s a different kind of junk that I’m tired of seeing on the movie screen.

It began late last year with the Judd Apatow flop Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story. It continued in the spring with Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay and Forgetting Sarah Marshall (the latter of which leads me to partially blame Judd Apatow for the trend). Then it hit the big time in this summer’s Sex and the City.

I thought we were done with Hollywood junk. But now with this week’s releases of How to Lose Friends and Alienate People and Blindness, movie audiences need to brace themselves for more junk.

What the full frontal nudity?

Enough, already. I don’t have a problem with male nudity, but this is getting to be a bit much. There was a day when an R rating guaranteed a nice boob shot. But now, if there’s an R rating with the dreaded descriptor “graphic nudity,” you can be pretty sure you’re gonna see some guy’s wang on a screen 20 feet tall.

And who wants that. Even the woman have to agree this is a bit much. With the exception of the well-hung Latin hunk from Sex and the City, all the other “graphic nudity” moments are creepy, banal or disgusting in some way… unless you’ve got the serious hots for Jason Segel.

It’s a shame when a Megan Fox movie comes out with an R rating for nudity, and the only thing we get to see are her raisins underneath a silky, wet dress.

Bring back the days of Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct. In the realm of equality, we’ve had enough junk for a while.

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Mister Hand

To loosely quote Tim Allen, I have a quota on the number of naked men I want to see in a day, and that number is "zero."

I must say, however, that I found the male nudity in FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL pretty friggin' hilarious.

Robert Fure

So you're ok with well hung Latin studs but draw the line at average white guys? For shame.

Mathieu Lalonde

I think you forgot about Dave Folley in Postal!... ;-)

Steven C

Hell yeah Kevin, I actually saw Walk Hard in theaters and was in the front row to see the giant dick. It was not something I would like to ever experience again, lets see some boobs!!

Homero

Forgetting Sarah Marshall really let it all hang out, and there were no boob shots to make it equal. The first cock-shot was funny because Segal had been slapping it on his legs...which is hilarious. The second time caught everyone off gaurd, which was mildly amusing, and the last one was just kinda there.

Women don't like full frontal male nudity like guys like full frontal femal nudity, it's just going to get worse and worse until you see two guys have a lightsaber battle on screen.

790

All you guys need to see "This Film is Not Yet (R)ated",,,,, (on dvd). Plenty of boobs.

This will enlighten you all, to the shit that the MPAA gets away with.

Ky

I've had to deal with boobies shoved in my face for years.
It's about time us ladies get some peen action!

Northie

As a chick, I enjoy seeing the penises, not necessarily in a sexual way... it just seems nice that guys are finally getting nude on screen in non-pornos. And Jason Segal was such a sweetheart in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, his pants-dropping was actually endearing. And hilarious. I wouldn't mind more penises making appearances in a Forgetting Sarah Marshall/Step Brothers (even though they were just balls and they looked pretty fake...fronts-piece anyone?) kind of way.

Reg

I agree w/ 'Ky" and "Northie" I think it is fair to have both sexes to have equal opportunity to see naked. It think Male Frontal Nudity is fine as long as it is tastefully done in way it does not come out disgusting. In FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL I thought that was funny also in HAROLD AND KUMAR ESCAPE FROM GUANTANAMO BAY.

Conor

Forgetting Sarah Marshall pulled it off SO well... it was hilarious. I mean, I don't really like watching dudes put it on display on screen or anything, and I don't really want it to start happening more oftern, but it was funny in that movie. I haven't seen the others, so I cant really speak on them.

WTF: Junk on the Screen

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