Movie Style Guy: Become a Twilighter!

Posted by Robert Fure (robert@filmschoolrejects.com) on November 19, 2008

How to Become a Twilighter

Just kidding. While from a “What’s Hot” standpoint, everyone should probably be talking about Twilight to get that 14 year old girl market. Personally, I’ve had a few too many connections in the 14 year old girl market, and it’s only a matter of time before Chris Hansen shows up at my door (just kidding, mom). But this weekend it may prove difficult to maneuver around the mall or go to the cineplex without something assuming you’re a Twilighter, especially if you’re a handsome rogue like myself. So what can we do to differentiate ourselves from the crowds? Well, we become the anti-Twilighters.

Earth Tones

As a vampire film, the colors and clothing are going to skew black and that means most of the fans are going to emulate their on-screen crushes and dress Hot Topic levels of dark. Now, you may think that means you just go straight up opposites and wear white, but then this turns into a Power Rangers team up, so instead we go with Earth tones. Khaki, beige, camo, or green are all good choices for you to wear. You want to err on the side of bright, so I recommend going green (heh).

Show Skin

People who aspire to be vampires often adapt some of the easier to swallow habits, like being really pale and covering up a lot of skin. We can counter this in the warmer climates by wearing shorts and tee shirts, as its still in the upper 70s in California. For the North Eastern crowd, all bundled up, consider a tee shirt underneath all that winter garb.

Demographic

Be a male over 18.

See/Do Something Else

Don’t want to fall in with the Twilight crowd? See something else. There are still a few good options in theaters, like the hilarious Role Models, the entertaining Quantum of Solace, or the new sure-fire hit, Bolt. Want to avoid the movie crowd altogether? Do something else. Go Live Action Role Playing. Go to a shooting range and practice taking headshots while dangling from ropes. Walk the dog in the park. You’ve got options this weekend and don’t have to fall in with the angsty teen crowd if you don’t want to.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, High School just let out and I’ve got to put on my Team Jacob shirt and go hang out.


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  • What the hell are these teams anyways?
  • Heavensburden
    Wow There are actually Team Jacob shirts!! SHIBBY CAKES! I generally tick people off on Youtube by my anti Edwardian ways :D
    Allynd the teams are basically saying what man you're routing for. Team Edward is the most popular because little girls don't understand he's a prick, and Team Jacob is going for the werewolf. The teams are pointless really, Edward wins, and here's a SPOILER ((so don't read if you don't want)) Jacob inprints on Bella and Edward's daughter. SOOOooooo uh... Jacob .. I love him.. silly pedophile woofy dog :D
  • I've got everything covered. Earth-tones, check. Not seeing Twilight, check. Male over 18, check. Show skin... damn, it's winter and I'm pale! Tell you what, I definitely won't make my hair look like Syndrome's from The Incredibles.
  • Arou101
    MAINSTREAM MARKETING! YAY!

    Ugh... I'm glad South Park went ahead an parodied this crime against humanity before the movie debuted.
  • I recently got a job at the box office of a local theater and I've been showing the managers the reports of Twilight insanity...they haven't let more than 3 people take off and I have to work a double shift on Saturday...sounds bad right? I'll just let my hair fall all greasy like and spike up the back to appear emo so I can get some underage hotties...I'm bringing back pedophilia like it's no one's business (b/c it isn't).
  • audrey3
    I’m sorry to hear that the doctor was a little patronizing to you. Its funny that he would take out the insert about the side effects and “show” that there hair loss was not a side effect because that doesn’t prove a damn thing. When companies conduct studies and gather data, they do not have to put all the data in, especially if the side effect is on the low side.caderea parului
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