Lesson Learned: No Two Mall Cops are the Same

Posted by Adam Sweeney (adam@filmschoolrejects.com) on April 14, 2009

lesson-mallcops

In our attempt to make sense of the cinematic world, we analyzed the weekend box office numbers. Our findings? We want a mall cop we can see on the TV.

My mother once told me that we were all unique and beautiful snowflakes. Of course she was drunk at the time. Okay, the latter statement is a lie, but one can look at Paul Blart: Mall Cop and Observe and Report and definitely say that both films are unique in spite of their similar lead characters. This may be the only time you hear someone use Kevin James, Seth Rogen and beautiful in the same statement, but I digress.

Just looking at the box office numbers, it would appear that Paul Blart is going to run away as the victor in mall cop movies. Paul Blart has made over $163 million so far, while the more recent Observe and Report has made $11 million after 4 days. But is Paul Blart really the superior film? And if not, then why would so many people go see a film that is clearly not a thinking man’s work? I mean we all love “peanut Blart-er and jelly jokes” but that could only be good for a few million, at best.

By all accounts, in our opinion, Seth Rogen is a superior comedic actor, if not the better actor overall than James. There hasn’t really been one project James was in that could qualify as comedic, but he still is called a comedian. Except for Elmo’s Christmas Countdown. That shit was hilarious. Sigh.

Fellow Film School Rejects writer Landon Palmer wrote in his 21st Century Movie Star piece that the days of beautiful people ruling the box office are over. The performance of these two films would seem to provide an argument both for and against his declaration. James has been a success in movies. But if the argument is going to hold up, why have Rogen’s films not fared as well? Knocked Up was a hit, no question. Pineapple Express made over $100 million, but I believe that is because it is a film about weed. People will take a hit off most weed comedies, no matter the content. But Zack and Miri Make a Porno? A relative bust. Observe and Report? Not a blockbuster by any means.

If you want to cross the line between beauty and the beast, James starred in Hitch with Will Smith, which made $179 million domestically. You can’t tell me that Hitch’s draw had more to do with the robust James than the svelte and charismatic Smith.

James has made a career out of acting opposite a beautiful woman, Leah Remini, in The King of Queens. In a way, James sort of served as the trendsetter for fat men getting to marry women out of their league in sitcoms, and how grateful we all are for that.

On the other end, Observe and Report looks like it will lucky to make over 31 million dollars total, which was the opening weekend draw for Paul Blart. But where as Paul Blart was basically a film about a fat, awkward guy falling on his ass once in a while, Observe and Report was edgy and took risks. The fact that it is being compared to Taxi Driver, even if it is a hyperbolic statement, says something about the merit of the film. It is important, however, to say that date rape never, never makes for good cinema. Still, Jody Hill’s film didn’t stay in the lines, so it wins out versus Kevin James in “Get it! I’m Fat! Someone Laugh Please?!?”

So if Rogen is a better actor, a bigger “star” (dude has been in every single film the last two years. I swear I saw him as Meryl Streep’s maid in Doubt.) and Observe and Report is a superior film in content, why is Paul Blart riding off into the sunset on a golden plated Segway? There can only be one reason. Familiarity. We see Kevin James once a week on television, whether we want to or not. Some people torture themselves by watching reruns also. The same goes for Jason Segel in How I Met Your Mother, which could explain some of the success for his films. Instead of arguing that normal looking people will rule the box office, maybe we should argue that television has killed the movie star. In fact, that will may be the lesson learned next week. That is unless Beyonce Knowles tops the box office with Obsessed. Then we will find a way to mix in Sasha Fierce. Let’s pray The Soloist wins out and we get to talk about TV or Robert Downey Jr.

Whether we like it or not, the reason Paul Blart will beat out the more daring Observe and Report has nothing to do with quality. It’s because Kevin James has become a symbol of American culture. I can’t believe I just said that. Let’s end this article so that I can go wash off. I feel so dirty.


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  • well yeah. This is the same nation that made Paris "The Whore" Hilton became an overnight sensation. this is the same nation of idiotic sheeps who flocked to see the Hannah Montana movie. no surprise there.
  • I would have to disagree. You missed the most glaring difference between the two. Paul Blart was a family comedy aimed at a massive audience. Observe and Report was, by any standard, a very adult film aimed at what is probably a niche narrower than most porn fetishes - brutal dark comedy.

    And we shouldn't be praising Observe and Report for breaking the mold. The platypus broke the mold and everyone laughs at it. There are two worlds in film that are apparently growing more and more disparate. Critics these days use the word "unique" like it's a good thing. It's not. It's not bad. It's neutral. It merely means that it is unlike other things. Dipping jalapeno peppers in chocolate and eating them is unique and flavorful. Eating feces out of a cup is unique and disgusting.

    Zak and Miri was also made for an adult audience. When it comes down to it, you're comparing movies marketed at people aged 13-70 versus films marketed at predominantly males aged 17-35. The numbers will never equal out. Plus, Observe and Report sucked fat asshole. No matter how many online critics go down on Jody Hill, most critics didn't like the film and word of mouth is decidedly negative.

    Also a note: Date Rape can make for good cinema if it advances the story and is handled correctly. Trying to turn it into a joke in a film like this leads it to falling flat. How many moves feature rape that haven't caused this kind of outrage? Hundreds.
  • Arou101
    Dear Robert Fure,

    We get it. You hate Observe and Report. Really, everyone gets it. You've gotten far more attention than most for your opinion, and by now anyone that ever comes to the site understands you think that the film is a piece of shit. You were making a valid point about demographs and box office numbers, but it eventually degenerated into your loathing for the film and I have to finally say, shut up.

    Just please, shut up. You were bashing this film before it came out, and the continual bashing is beginning to become a sad game of how many times you can remind everyone that you hate this movie. The next time anyone mentions Observe and Report, just let it go, because we already know that you hate it--no need to remind us for the eighth time.

    Thank you.
  • Dear Arou101,

    Other than my admittedly crude comment about "sucking fat asshole," my mentioning of other critics and negative word of mouth still served to explain the disparity in revenue. Paul Blart had positive word of mouth, keeping it near the top of the box office for weeks.

    I've always been told I never knew when to stop talking and unfortunately it's not a lesson I'll learn any time soon. Especially considering the entire reason I'm on staff here is that I'm expected to write frequently and expected to interact in the comments section, both on current topics. I'm just being consistent. =)

    Luckily for all, Observe and Report has been released - come this weekend it will no longer be topical and I won't have cause to talk about it. But while it is topical and being discussed, if I have something worth saying or some joke I'm dying to make, I shall make it.

    Thanks for not wishing death upon me or threatening to poop in my cereal.
  • Ryan
    It wasn't date rape. if it wasn't consensual then when SHE SPOKE TO HIM, indicating being awake, if inebriated and tired looking, she would have said "STOP", not 'Why are you stopping?".

    It wasn't that it looked like rape that made it funny to me. What made the scene funny was that she looked like she wasn't into it at all but then was, as I've been on both sides of the tired but still going for it train.
  • Paul Blart has been reviewed at 32% on Rotten Tomatoes. Observe and Report? 52%

    I am not saying I like either film. I am just suggesting that if a person not as familiar with audiences as Kevin James was in Paul Blart, it'd have not done as well. And please do not EVER defend that film, sir.
  • Jody Hill's bowel movement last night was reviewed at 54% on Rotten Tomatoes and the general public still didn't go watch it (even though it was, admittedly, easier to swallow.) Back in a Boiling Point about Easy Targets - it's easy and accepted to bash family comedies and guys like Kevin James or Brendan Fraser.

    You're trying to justify that somehow Observe & Report was a better movie with better people in it and it should have done better. By proxy, Paul Blart was a worse movie with worse actors. Seth Rogen is probably as popular/recognizable than James, if not more so. James is barely a movie star. He's a TV guy. The numbers are in and they won't change. Paul Blart was an unobjectionable family film that audiences liked. Observe and Report attracted no mass audience. Blart wins, without a doubt.

    Hating movies for being successful is like hating McDonalds. It doesn't make sense. Just because you don't like McDonalds doesn't take away from the fact that it is the most popular fast food restaurant on the planet. Kevin James is laughing all the way to the bank where he will be withdrawing money and then using said money to buy McDonalds.

    I haven't even seen Paul Blart, but I will defend it on principal. =P But I still maintain it comes down to audience targeting. You could have cast a sock puppet in Paul Blart and it still would outperform O&R because it was marketed to tens of millions of people where as the Hill film was marketed to such a small group. WB took a big chance and got burned at the Box Office.
  • Saying James isn't a movie guy because he is on TV is a flawed argument. Look at Patrick Dempsey, Katherine Heigl, Jason Segel, need I go on? All of these actors have been more prominent recently on TV, which then led to popularity in film.

    Just because a film is targeted to more people doesn't mean it will do well either. I know that it makes sense to have more possible viewers, but I have seen a ton of awful movies that weren't rated R, and they did poorly.

    I don't "bash" Kevin James because it is easy. In fact, it's not just him that makes me hate Paul Blart. Maybe he shouldn't take the easy route to the bank, then people will lay off him.

    We agree to disagree. I think Paul Blart succeeded largely because many people in America have questionable taste. There, I said. Sorry, I am a film snob. But it's just my opinion, nothing more. And Kevin James has the right to do whatever he wants, for sure. But I don't have to like it.
  • Well at least you admit to being a snob. ;)

    As for Dempsey, Heigl, and Segel, their resumes are weak when it comes to film. Supporting roles mostly, with Heigl having like 2 recent starring roles and Segel having 2. But I suppose its time to let this drop.
  • David G
    "Seth Rogen is a superior comedic actor, if not the better actor overall than James."
    Yikes! Really? Thats pretty horrible. Not that Kevin James is much of an actor but neither is Rogen. Hes just done a bunch of stoner comedies his whole "acting career". The box office show that Rogen isnt a lovable character. He just happened to be in Superbad, and he wasnt even very good in that. Otherwise everything else was a big disappointment with this guy.
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