Rob Hunter loves movies.  He also loves serving chicken fingers and domestic beers to all the fat patrons at Chotchkie’s.  These two joys come together in the form of cash money payments that he receives every week and immediately uses to buy more DVDs.  So join us each week as he takes a look at new DVD releases and gives his highly unqualified opinion as to which titles are worth BUYing, which are better off as RENTals, and which should be AVOIDed at all costs.

Click on any of the titles below to magically head over to Amazon.com and pick up the DVD.  And don’t forget to check out Neil Miller’s hilariously titled This Week In Blu-ray column for reviews on the latest high definition Blu-ray releases!

Nothing new worth buying this week!

Coraline

Pitch: Button eyes haven’t been this creepy since Clive Barker’s Nightbreed…

Why Rent? I enjoyed Neil Gaiman’s story and Henry Selick’s stop-motion animation, but the I don’t see myself watching it more than once. Occasionally creepy and fun, often slow and meandering… I’m saving my money for an adaptation of Gaiman’s “Babycakes.”

Blu-ray? Yes

Extra Features? Commentary, featurettes

An Empress and the Warriors

Pitch: You’ve seen it before, now see it again!

Why Rent? No, you haven’t seen this exact same movie, but the “Asian period film with epic battles and amazing visuals” has become a genre unto itself… House of Flying Daggers, Curse of the Golden Flower, Hero… this film is more of the same. With the added bonus of the beautiful Kelly Chen!

Blu-ray? No

Extra Features? Commentary

The Great Buck Howard

Pitch: Being Buck Howard

Why Rent? John Malkovich is a joy to watch even when the movie is shit. Luckily this film isn’t shit, but it is pretty average.  Malkovich riffing on The Amazing Kreskin is enough of a reason for a rental though.

Blu-ray? Yes

Extra Features? Commentary, featurettes, deleted scenes, outtakes

The Mighty Boosh: The Complete Season One

Pitch: I don’t really know where to start with this one…

Why Rent? Unless you know for a fact that you love (or hate) surreal British comedy, I would definitely try to catch it on Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim before spending any money on it. Odds are if you don’t like it you’ll actually hate it. But if you like it, you just may come to love the absurdity of two guys and the Zooniverse they inhabit.

Blu-ray? No

Extra Features? Commentaries, outtakes, featurettes

The Ring Finger

Pitch: Olga Kurylenko gets fingered…

Why Rent? That was a test to see if anyone reads the Pitches for the movies they’ve never heard of… and to see if my editors have decency standards. Kurylenko is stunning here and the movie, based on a Japanese novel, is interesting and sexy in just the right measures.

Blu-ray? No

Extra Features? None

Skeleton Crew

Pitch: At least they didn’t call it Hellsinki…

Why Rent? My last exposure to Finnish horror was the abysmal Dark Floors, so this one was a nice surprise. It doesn’t re-invent the wheel or anything, but it’s a solid entry into the self-aware slasher genre.

Blu-ray? No

Extra Features? None

Visioneers

Pitch: Now that you know who Zack Galifianakis is, see what else he’s done…

Why Rent? Folks who first met Galifianakis in The Hangover may be expecting more of the same here, but that’s not what they’ll get. Think of this as more of a low-rent Brazil and you’ll be closer to the truth. Funny, satirical, and gloriously dark.

Blu-ray? No

Extra Features? None

Watchmen

Pitch: The closest you’ll ever get to seeing Smurf dick…

Why Rent? This is a Buy for many of you, and I understand that. I had no attachment to the source comic though, so for me the movie was an interesting and visually impressive drama that was also overlong with a severely flawed ending. Definitely worth a watch though. If you are interested in buying be sure to do your homework… there are seventeen different editions to choose from.

Blu-ray? Yes

Extra Features? Director’s Cut has an extended version of the film. But you already knew that.

Bundy

Pitch: The long-awaited film version of “Married With Children” is finally here!

Why Avoid? I kid. But that would have been a lot better than the serial-killer shlock it actually has to offer.

Blu-ray? No

Extra Features? Commentary, still gallery

Echelon Conspiracy

Pitch: Eagle Eye for dummies… (too redundant?)

Why Avoid? Seriously though, the movie is basically Eagle Eye as re-enacted by a local theater troupe.  A cheaper and less interesting remake of an already crappy movie.

Blu-ray? Yes

Extra Features? None

Messengers 2: The Scarecrow

Pitch: See how to make an inherently scary scarecrow not scary at all…

Why Avoid? As a parable for the plight of the modern-day farmer the movie is brilliant.  As a horror movie it sucks balls.

Blu-ray? No

Extra Features? Commentary

Super Capers

Pitch: For folks who thought Sky High needed a sequel…

Why Avoid? … this makes Sky High look like a movie good enough to warrant a sequel.

Blu-ray? No

Extra Features? Commentary, deleted scenes, featurettes

Click below for more:

What are you buying on DVD this week?