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A wise man once said “It’s not just about seeing Star Wars two weeks before everyone else. You’ve gotta plow through crap like Marie Antoinette and Catwoman as well.” I have the fortune of being able to see all of the films that I want, and find out that they are only worth one viewing (or less) before I would willingly pay for the DVD…and subsequently end up hating myself later. But for every The Whoopee Boys there has to be an Indiana Jones, and because of the great films I am able to put myself further in debt every week.

Appaloosa

The Pitch: Long pausing cowboys doing long pauses.

Why Buy It?: If it weren’t for the slow pace of this film, a lot more people would be talking about it. There is a lot to love though. The performances from Viggo Mortensen and Ed Harris were great, and the cinematography was beautiful.There were some things that Harris could have done differently, but this was only his second time in the director’s chair. Under-rated and worth checking out, some may not want to buy this one…but don’t pass it up.

Blu-ray Available: Yes

My Bloody Valentine

The Pitch: The only My Bloody Valentine worth seeing.

Why Rent It?: This is the original film that inspired this weekend’s 3D offering. From what I hear, this one is pretty solid. I’d like to see it, and I like old-school horror. So take a chance with me, any takers? I won’t be buying this one however, I have to save up for my own bloody valentine.

Blu-ray Available: No

Mirrors

The Pitch: Jack Bauer, supernatural investigator.

Why Rent It?: Not only does this one have Jack Bauer himself in it, it was directed by Alexandre Aja. Aja directed High Tension and The Hills Have Eyes. The guy knows his was around entertaining horror flicks. I will gladly give him the time for this one, even though it didn’t look like much more than a teeny horror film.

Blu-ray Available: Yes

The Family That Preys

Synopsis: Tyler Perry venturing into new territory, Kathy Bates.

Why Avoid It?: I don’t get the fuss about Tyler Perry. The guy takes steroids, dresses in drag, sells a ton of books and produces bad television…Sorry, just sorting out my demons. Anyways, I have never been entertained by any of his films. It just bewilders me to think of their success.

Blu-ray Available: Yes

Swing Vote

Synopsis: Kevin Costner trying to do, like, political satire.

Why Avoid It?: Wow, I totally forgot about this movie. Thank God. I would have had to think about it for a while and then move on with my life. Kevin Costner had something back in the day, but he’s lost it. Middle-aged women don’t know it, or refuse to accept it, but the guy just doesn’t have much star power anymore. Maybe he should do another baseball movie.

Blu-ray Available: No

My Best Friend’s Girl

Synopsis: The self destruction of Kate Hudson.

Why Avoid It?: Let’s keep score. Diora Baird (+1). Lizzy Caplan (+1). Alec Baldwin (-1). Dane Cook (-150). There we have it, not worth it even if you were dying of a snake bite and there were an instructional video on how to save yourself in the special features. Do me a favor, imdb Mr. Fix It. I guess Dane Cook just doesn’t steal jokes…

Blu-ray Available: Yes

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