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This weekend saw the nasty, totally untrue, let’s-all-calm-down-because-we’re-still-safe rumor that Edward Scissorhands was going to get the remake treatment and that Robert Pattinson was going to strap on the gloves to play another other-worldly Edward. Although they wouldn’t have to do much to that hair.

It’s totally untrue, and that’s a good thing. But its mere existence gave me the opportunity to brainstorm who I’d cast, and now I put the question(s) to you.

There are two options here:

1. Imagine that it’s 1989, and Tim Burton has hired you to cast his new movie because it’s got a choice release slot of December 1990. Also imagine that Johnny Depp is off making Cry Baby or something, and is otherwise unavailable. What big star or rising star do you cast as the lead?
2. Imagine that the film was never made, but Tim Burton has this hot new original idea for a film involving a Frankenstein-type young man with scissors on his hands. It’ll be in 3D. What young star of 2010 do you cast in the role?

My answers are pretty straightforward I think:

1. Either Nicolas Cage (who was busy filming Wild At Heart that year) or Sean Penn (who was doing State of Grace).
2. Donald Glover.

Who would you cast?