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Ok, this is an easy one. But it gets all of us who like to snack during a film, like I do. What the fuck is up wit Concession stand prices? Let’s all go to the lobby and acquire ourselves some debt!

Now before some rocket scientist economics minor comes in and explains about how “thats how theaters really make their money” first let me say “Shut up.” Now that I’ve got that out of the way, could someone explain to me how the combo “deal” for a medium popcorn and a medium soda is $9? It costs more to have popcorn and a soda than it does to actually see the movie. How about they make a concession to us and just stop screwing us at the counter?

For some reason the cost of a movie has gone from $6 to $14 in like 10 years. Cars still cost the same, buying a new movie still costs the same. Where the fuck is this money going? And I’ll be damned if that .65 cent pack of raisinets isn’t marked up out the ass when you’re selling it for $3.50. Water is the most abundant natural resource we have, other than air, and you’re going to charge me $3 for it? Fuck you, I’ll drink out of the toilet.

Seriously, what is this shit. “No outside food or drink.” Right, I’m shoving my crotch full of Skittles bro. You’re serving me a quarters worth of popcorn at a 20000% markup. Your hot dog tastes like $10 worth of vomit, so the $3.50 is a real deal on vomit. Soft pretzel for four of my hard earned dollars? No thanks, I’ve got a Kitt-Katt wedged up my asshole.

And fuck, if you go to the movie in a city, you’re paying for parking, too! Remember when a movie and some snackage was like $10 total? Now its like $30 a person because of that squeezey cheese snot substance and those stale served to me in a sealed plastic fucking baggie direct from the factory in Mexico tortilla chips. Fuck this man.

Maybe no one else really cares about getting fucked at the concession stands, maybe many of you just don’t eat during movies and maybe I should just join your ranks. But I’m definitely fucking sick of paying the price of a nice dinner out for some fucking popcorn (damn it for being mildly delicious and buttery!) and I’m way past my boiling point.