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Twist endings have been around for a very, very long time but I’ll always jump at a chance to point the finger at M. Night Shyamalan, because thanks to his Sixth Sense twist endings were pretty much requisite for a good part of the last decade. It’s hard to come up with a good twist, but that didn’t stop studios and writers from going ahead with shitty ones.

I’m reminded of crappy twists most often when it comes to the reveal of the killer. Sure, we all figured it was probably the kid who supposedly died in the first act or maybe a relative of his. That’s standard fare, so when people want to get a little more clever they reveal the bad guy to be none other than… the lead character! Or someone pretty close to it. What’s got me remembering this right now is “Harper’s Island” a show I’m certain few people are watching considering the ratings drop every week. A shame, because it’s something fresh on TV, and I love horror. But that’s not to say their aren’t problems. Of course, this will probably change, but the last episode points to the Sheriff as the killer, which makes little sense. He’s been a good guy this whole time and, further, has been attacked by the bad guy. When seemingly no one else was around. So if he is working with a partner, why would the partner attack the Sheriff with no witnesses around? To fool the audience, sure, but in story it makes no sense at all.

Perhaps the most audacious of these examples is Perfect Stranger starring Halle Berry who won the Oscar for looking good (clearly her acting is not to credit) and Bruce Willis. I’d warn that I was about to ruin the ending, but really I’m doing you a favor by getting this out of the way. See, the whole time the film wants you to think Bruce is the bad guy and Halle is the good girl who is in danger. We see Halle sneak around, fearing for her life, worried about every little thing. Then at the end, surprise, she was the killer all along! But here is the deal – why was she scared snooping around all the time? She knows she’s in no danger. No killer is after her because she’s the killer. Bruce poses no threat – worst he would do is call the cops because his employee is acting kind of weird.

Surprise endings don’t have to be in every film. Sometimes it’s fine to have the killer just be some random psycho or the survivor of an accidental fire out for vengeance. One thing is for sure – when you try the bait and switch, it usually comes out stupid. Sure, it might make for some temporary tension and drama, but then we’re left scratching our heads at why the killer attacked himself, somehow, when he was alone or why the killer always seems so afraid of himself when no one is watching. That is lying to the audience, not being clever. Take that weak sauce back to the page, my friend, and come up with a real twist. Meanwhile, I’ll pack no surprises and hit my boiling point.

Worst killer reveals…Go.