Rain

Posted by Maggie Van Ostrand (maggie@filmschoolrejects.com) on May 26, 2007

It’s easy to see why “Rain,” a Merv Griffin Entertainment production, went straight to DVD. It’s proof that, even with stars like Oscar winner Faye Dunaway and nominee Robert Loggia, a former panaglide, steadicam, and camera operator named Craig DiBona should never have been admitted to the Directors Guild. How he got bad performances out of such actors is amazing. It couldn’t have been easy.

Way back in the last century when silent films were playing in nickelodeons nationwide, over-the-top acting by stars like Rudolf Valentino and Lillian Gish were necessary to compensate for the lack of dialogue. Even that type of contrived overacting couldn’t hold a candle to the scenery chewing in “Rain.”

Perhaps it’s understandable that Brooklyn Sodana, daughter of Dona Summer, would be amateurish in her first film, but one would certainly not expect that of Dunaway and Loggia. Unless they were dutifully following DiBona’s direction. What were they thinking?

V.C. Andrews’ book of the same name was adapted for the screen by Andrew Neiderman whose first screenplay this was. Let’s hope it stays that way and he never writes again. We’re told the book was very good. The movie isn’t. V.C. Andrews should have her name taken off the credits, even though a booklet is included in the DVD box called “Gathering Clouds” purported to be the prequel to “Rain.” Better a prequel than a sequel.

Sudano plays Rain Arnold, a beautiful popular African American teen living in a ghetto inhabited primarily by snarling gang banger gorillas and an idiot sister who hangs out with them. Rain isn’t too bright either since, when her sister gets photographed being raped and the gang bangers want Rain to come to their crib to get the pictures (gee, d’ya think they might be after Rain, the pretty one?) she actually goes. During the course of the confrontation between the two sisters and the gang bangers, one of whom has some sort of silver foil over his teeth and a spider tattooed on his fat neck, the sister is killed. If you think that’s pathetic, how about this: right after Rain sees her sister slammed down, surrounded by hulking brutes and obviously in trouble, she runs off. That’s right. She left her sister there. Hard to believe but that’s the scene. When she comes back with a cop, the sister is dead. Could you see it coming?

In order to protect Rain from probable murder by the gang who has done an L.A.-type drive-by already but missed, so she won’t testify against them, her mother (Khandi Alexander) sends her to live with her recently and accidentally revealed grandma, Isabel Hudson (Dunaway). This is news to Rain, who thought she was the daughter of African Americans, mom Khandi Alexander and dad, Giancarlo Esposito. Wrong. Turns out she’s the illegitimate daughter of a white woman (LeeAnn Locken, who must have been given this movie as punishment for being such a lousy actress). We learn later that she had an affair with a black sax player who’s now a professor in England. Dunaway has another daughter as well, who’s almost as dreadful in the acting department.

Dunaway plays a wealthy widow who lives in a big white house with pillars in front, like Tara only not. She sends a stretch limo for Rain which is so long, it takes the chauffer more time to walk from the driver’s seat to the back to open it for Rain than the U.S. has been in Iraq. The chauffeur makes it clear that the limo is rented which is curious because as we get to Dunaway’s mansion, there sits her Rolls Royce with driver Robert Loggia, a retired NY detective. Or is he Dunaway’s lover? That is never made clear and DiBona is not good at allusions. Or anything else it appears.

There are so many bad performances, this could have been the first rehearsal of a high school play with Dunaway, Loggia, Alexander and Esposito look-alikes. Yes, that must be it. They’re not real, they’re cheap copies.

Sudano’s sings in a light, vibrato, somewhat reminiscent of early Joan Baez, and accompanies herself either on piano or guitar. One scene has the unimaginably confusing juxtaposition of a chorus singing off camera along with her while the image on the screen is just her, silently singing something totally differently, judging by the lip movements.

Rain instantly adjusts to her new environment and becomes the star of the music school for gifted children that Dunaway has pulled strings to get her into. There are pathetic scenes of rich boys and rich girls reacting to Rain’s presence and of course the boy toy all the girls desire wants only Rain. They pair up for a big musical act at school. While they don’t exactly say “Let’s go to the barn and do a show!” they might as well.

The gang bangers find out where Rain is and want grandma’s jewelry and anything else she has in exchange for not killing Rain. However, they are thwarted before they even begin to get anywhere. Somewhere along the line, the tight-lipped, cold housekeeper gets arrested for stealing, but we don’t know if she did, why she did, and why the gang bangers never get anywhere.

Grandma puts Rain in her Will and sends her off to London. Why? We aren’t told. They have now bonded for no known reason.

What DiBona did is a crime for which he should be sentenced to five years of watching this movie.

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