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Win Funny Games on DVD, No Blood Loss Required!
Posted by Neil Miller (neil@filmschoolrejects.com) on June 20, 2008
As you can imagine based on our reviews of the film (all of which have been anywhere from really bad to homicidally bad), when a box full of five (5) copies of Funny Games on DVD arrived at FSR HQ, we made a dash for our box of matches. Then we realized, as we always do, that these DVDs weren’t meant to be burnt in our parking lot, they were meant to be given away to our readers. Therefore we offer them to you — maybe you will find something useful to do with them — such as watch them.
In order to enter, all you have to do is follow the standard drill. Step one is to be a subscriber to our daily email updates, powered by Feedburner. It is the one daily email to rule them all — all the best of the Rejects right in your inbox. No spam, no selling of your information, just the best movie news from all of the best writers on the web, every single day. If you aren’t already a subscriber, you can do so via the form below:
The second is that you must answer a question. But before I get to that, I have a few more rules: You must be a legal resident of the United States or Canada in order to win, you must enter prior to Thursday, June 26 and you must be awesome — which all of our readers are, so that should be the easy part. And now, the question:
If someone came and trapped you in your home with the intent on murdering you, yet their only weapons were sharp wit and a golf club, how would you escape? (Hint: You have at your disposal a boat, a cell phone that can send text messages and probably a car at your neighbor’s house…)
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81 Comments
June 20th, 2008 at 8:09 am
Do we answer here ? OR do we email you the answer? It doesnt actually state how we answer in the rules.
SO here’s my answer.
I would re enact 2 girls one cup for them…while they were puking and dry heaving… I would escape.
June 20th, 2008 at 8:40 am
I’d text someone for help, then throw the cell phone at one of their faces and then as they are disoriented I would grab the golf club and knock them out with it. Then go next door and call the cops, tell the neighbors, and wait outside with the golf club in hand.
June 20th, 2008 at 8:44 am
I’d build a gun from the parts from the cell phone, MacGyver style.
June 20th, 2008 at 9:11 am
Text the neighbor to drive the boat into the house killing the two guys holding you hostage, and since the villain never dies the first time, as I am pulling out of the driveway if he comes running out of the house after me I run his ass over a few times just for good measure.
June 20th, 2008 at 10:04 am
I would text someone requesting that they bring over this DVD for the perps to watch. That ought to send them running!
June 20th, 2008 at 10:19 am
LOL!! If we are talking about MY house here, I would have no need to escape. First I would LMFAO at their sheer stupidity at choosing my house and such a puny weapon. I would then blow their legs off at the kneecaps with my military issue shotgun, and then cheerfully take my time bludgeoning them to death with my authentic medieval double ball spiked mace. No need for phone or boat. Besides, where’s the fun in running away? Banging 2 coconuts together and pretending you are riding a horse while you do it?
June 20th, 2008 at 10:35 am
I would text a few friends to come over and watch me beat them with their own golf club. It would a fun time for all
June 20th, 2008 at 11:57 am
I would pull out my shotgun from under the couch that no one knew about, blow those mother fucker’s heads off, make out with king kong’s woman, and go to the neighbor’s house.
June 20th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
I think it would be time for me to live out my childhood dream of “Home Alone”
June 20th, 2008 at 1:04 pm
WELL IM MEXICAN SO ID IMPROVISE…WE CAN KICK SOME ASS WITH ANY THING REALLY…JUST GIVE ME SOME WD40 A WIRE HANGER AND BLACK ELECTRICAL TAPE AND I WILL GIVE YOU A TANK. NO WAY THOSE TWO PUNKS FROM FUNNY GAMES WOULD GET AWAY FROM ME
June 20th, 2008 at 3:12 pm
Pull out some green, and a fat bong, and offer them a nice rip. A much more entertaining activity :)
June 20th, 2008 at 3:25 pm
If they have sharp wits, I would use my sales skills to talk them out of it because I feel I have even sharper wits. I would also like to know what the purpose of murdering me would be and then I’d run like hell!
June 20th, 2008 at 4:27 pm
I would call the police, text message my neighbor to pull their car up outside my house and run to the car as fast as I can.
June 20th, 2008 at 4:33 pm
would like to have this
June 20th, 2008 at 5:03 pm
I have a boat, a cell phone that can send text messages and probably a car at my neighbor’s house at my disposal, but I really think it would be much more fun to teach them a lesson. They have a golf club and I have lots of power tools, my house is currently under construction so there are many pitfalls they don’t know about either. This could be fun. Thanks for the contest!
June 20th, 2008 at 6:05 pm
let me win!
June 20th, 2008 at 6:51 pm
I’d call the murderer on his cell and tell him his tee time is ready.
June 20th, 2008 at 7:04 pm
I would text tony starks who would then come over and take care of it, actually a golf club?
i would catch the guy with a blindsided punch when he looked away.
June 20th, 2008 at 7:47 pm
i would text the police and they would save me. cause that’s what governments do. that’s why governments are great. thats why governments steal one third of my paycheck every time i get paid.
June 20th, 2008 at 8:12 pm
I’d text my next door neighbor. He could then drive his car through the front window and rescue me.
June 20th, 2008 at 10:51 pm
I would kick him in the balls and run!
June 20th, 2008 at 10:56 pm
I would kill them with mind bullets.
June 20th, 2008 at 11:37 pm
I would crawl into a corner, suck my thumb and murmur “Mommy, mommy”.
June 21st, 2008 at 12:02 am
I would use my cell phone
June 21st, 2008 at 12:24 am
I can’t believe I’m the first to suggest disguising myself as a golf ball. They’d have no choice but to snap hook me to safety.
June 21st, 2008 at 1:50 am
I would hit the intruder over the head with the golf club and knock him out.
I would then text for help and run to the neighbors to get the car.
June 21st, 2008 at 6:01 am
If they have sharp wit, then they’ve won. I’m dumb as a box of rocks so they could probably outwit me while they kill me. Maybe. I’ve also got some super ninja kicks that could come in quite nicely (unless they take out my kneecaps with the golf club). Which they would probably do, because they are smart.
June 21st, 2008 at 3:45 pm
I could always rely on my sharp reflexes or my killer dog who would lick them to death. Thanks you!
June 21st, 2008 at 6:26 pm
I would just go medieval on his ass and beat him to death with his own golf club while shouting witty phrases at him. I would then use his boat to get rid of the body.
June 21st, 2008 at 7:32 pm
I would text my neighbor, who just happens to be Batman (the REAL Batman, not just some lame impostor). After Batman rescued me, we would take the boat out and go fishing. The end.
June 21st, 2008 at 8:39 pm
Hit their balls with the golf club then stab themm with my sharp with. I still cant figure out how to text, So I would take them out on the boat and tie them to the anchor and throw them over the side and watch to see which one can do the best impression of Leo from Titanic.
June 22nd, 2008 at 4:00 am
I don’t know how to text. I don’t know how to use a boat. Guess I’d have to use the golf club or maybe the neighbors car.
June 22nd, 2008 at 1:45 pm
I’d escape out of a window, call the cops from the neighbor’s house on the cell phone, beat them with the golf club if they came after me. I’d use the neighbor’s car to drive to my boat and spend the day calming down and imagining the crooks in jail for many years.
June 22nd, 2008 at 2:42 pm
Well, if relying only on the intruder’s wit & golf club:
I would send a text message to my neighbor, (who is also a cop), crawl out the second story bedroom window, with the porch roof overhang beneath. Shimmy my way down the porch post, and run like to wind to my neighbor the cop’s house.
All the while, the burgler with the golf club would barely have made his way up the stairs.
June 22nd, 2008 at 6:08 pm
This is my kind of movie,I would love to have this one,I would watch it over and over,anything scary for me.Thank you.
June 22nd, 2008 at 7:12 pm
i would just take the anchor from the boat and they would be anchors away!!!!
June 22nd, 2008 at 7:15 pm
I would text my neighbor!
June 22nd, 2008 at 9:27 pm
I would amaze them by twirling the golf club and they would allow me to escape due to being impressed.
June 23rd, 2008 at 9:10 am
I would show them some new golf swings and hit them over the head with the club and run like the wind!
June 23rd, 2008 at 1:55 pm
I would scream, “FORE!,” throw my cell phone at their heads and then challenge them to a game of wits (ala Princess Bride)
June 23rd, 2008 at 8:23 pm
i would text mcguiver:)
June 24th, 2008 at 2:06 am
I would wack the idiot in the head and walk out the front door, text my wife and tell her I am going on a fishing trip
June 24th, 2008 at 8:13 am
My wit would probably be sharper that would be my first defense. I would probably send a text to my full phone number list and 911. Can you text 911??? Does anyone know?? Anyway I would try that one. Then I would excuse myself to go to the restroom and go out the bathroom window since my bathroom window comes out two feet from the neighbors driveway I would take their car from there and sit back and watch the excitement. TOO EASY.. I really need this movie.
June 24th, 2008 at 10:49 am
It would be really hard for anyone to trap me in my house, which has eight DOORS to the outside, plus windows. They have a golf club? I have a full set in the bag and a few in various closets. I live in a golf community (and it so happens on a lake), so let me text a few neighbors to come over and we’ll all club the guy unconscious and go golfing or fishing.
June 24th, 2008 at 3:21 pm
I’d text the cops and escape using one of my home’s many, many windows.
June 24th, 2008 at 6:52 pm
I’d whack the crap out of him with the golf club, text my neighbor to come get me, drop me off at my boat at the harbor, then I’m off to an undisclosed location out in the Caribbean!
June 24th, 2008 at 8:30 pm
thank you
June 25th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
I’d use my cell phone to cause those blinding rays from the sun to glint off the golf club and then I’d jump out the window, run to my neighbor’s house and get help.
June 25th, 2008 at 12:29 pm
I would throw the cell phone at him and while he swung at it, I would run out and jump in my boat which is tied to dock, and take off to the Harbour police
June 25th, 2008 at 1:53 pm
ok I would text my friend next door to drive their car through the house and during the commotion I would run and jump into the boat on the lake and speed off
June 25th, 2008 at 3:40 pm
I Would Drug Em And Use The Cell Phone And Text Message For Help And Use My Neighbors Car To Escape And Find The Police
June 25th, 2008 at 4:30 pm
Perfect escape - suicide. They’d never see that one coming.
June 25th, 2008 at 6:19 pm
pick me
June 25th, 2008 at 9:38 pm
I would beat them and win my freedom at miniature golf.
June 25th, 2008 at 10:52 pm
kick him in the balls and call the cops while i’m running to my boat! that always works. and if there were 2 of them, i’d kick one in the balls, take his golf club then hit the other guy with it, then run to the boat!
June 25th, 2008 at 11:03 pm
I would escape using their sharp wit against them and the use of their golf club too.
June 25th, 2008 at 11:58 pm
Why are these questions so tough, it’s late and I’m tired. I’ll try to figure it out tomorrow.
June 26th, 2008 at 12:28 am
I would just beat the crap out of them. I am one tough cookie!
June 26th, 2008 at 12:47 am
I would text the killer. Then while he was checking his cell-phone, I’d jump out the window and steal the neighbor’s car. As I was driving away, I would honk at the killer and give him the finger.
June 26th, 2008 at 1:03 am
I would text someone to come over and help me out. The person who I ask for help would come over with some sort of weapon so he/she could sneak up on the killer and knock him out for a while. That’s when I would escape.
June 26th, 2008 at 1:30 am
Throw the cell at em and run em over
June 26th, 2008 at 6:32 am
I would bake him cookies. I make killer cookies and then he would let me go!
June 26th, 2008 at 7:01 am
I would try to talk to him to get his defenses down and then hit him in the package with the golf club and run to the neighbors car. In the mean time I would be texting for help.
June 26th, 2008 at 7:24 am
(**Spoilers ahead for anyone who hasn’t seen this movie yet!) Knowing that the killers would rewind time if I bashed one of them with the club, I’d use my sharp wit to convince them to play a round of golf with my life as the stakes. When they agree, I’ll stealthily text my neighbor to put a gun and a knife under the front seat. I suggest to the killers that we take my neighbor’s sweet ride to the country club, knowing that they’ll stow me in the back seat (sharp wit again). Even if they tie up my hands, I’ll have a way to cut myself free and then blast both of them away before they find the remote control.
June 26th, 2008 at 9:04 am
Fly through walls, windows any fixture, blockade and ascend into the heavens; or the ground; to be continued.
June 26th, 2008 at 9:28 am
while the other guys in the bathroom i would distract the bad guy with the cool features on my phone, and then grab his golf club and beat him with it and then call for help then beat the other guy with the golf club
June 26th, 2008 at 10:07 am
Do we really have to escape? Ok, I’ll play, I would knock the crap out of him with my gold club, text my friend to come help me dispose of his body in the lake using my boat. So i would just beat him to it, serves him right.
June 26th, 2008 at 10:23 am
I’d throw a big handful of golf balls on the floor. They’d be so busy trying to hit them all I’d slip out the door.
June 26th, 2008 at 10:41 am
first off i would grab the golf club beat em over the head..shove the cell phone where the sun dont shine…hook the boat up to the neighbors car and drive to the nearest lake and dump em..lol that was fun..god im a psycho ;)
June 26th, 2008 at 12:40 pm
I would text them. While they were reading their text, I would grab their golf club. Then hit them over the head, hide in the boat and when it is safe drive away in my neighbors car.
June 26th, 2008 at 12:43 pm
i would call the cops and play the waiting game, thanks for the giveaway!
June 26th, 2008 at 1:36 pm
I would challenge him to a game of wit and when I won…I would just walk away!
June 26th, 2008 at 3:34 pm
I would text message the neighbor and tell her to bring truck now and I will run out after I throw the cell phone at them and take the golf club and hit them over the head and hook the boat to the truck and put the criminals in and drive them to the police station.
June 26th, 2008 at 4:26 pm
I grab the golf club from him and throw is on the ground, run around the house once until we ran past the golf club again and he stepped on it and it came up and hit him in the face and knocked him out Tom & Jerry style.
June 26th, 2008 at 4:36 pm
I’d text someone for help
June 26th, 2008 at 9:40 pm
I’d pelt them with golf balls and escape!
June 26th, 2008 at 10:26 pm
I would hit him in the private area with the golf club and run to the neighbors.
June 26th, 2008 at 11:38 pm
I would use the phone to call Rosie O’Donnel and tell her the presisent of the NRA was at my house looking for her.
June 27th, 2008 at 7:14 am
I would grab the golf club and swing it to hypnotize them. Then I would whack them
on the head and use the cell phone to call the police.
July 3rd, 2008 at 10:31 am
I would pull out my shotgun from under the couch that no one knew about, blow those mother fucker’s heads off, make out with king kong’s woman, and go to the neighbor’s house.
July 4th, 2008 at 2:12 pm
Ask if they would like a beer then call the cops with a terror threat all hell would break loose and i could sneak away.