Caption Contest: Homer Isn’t The Only Fat Guy in Springfield Anymore!

Neil is about to be kicked in the face…

wicked burn Brian

Bart lands on the morbidly thin Neil, killing him instantly. In horror, Kevin drops his barrel. Embarrassed to display his shortcomings in front of Marge, Kevin dives into the water, accidentally washing the food out of his beard in the process. Fish, believing the morsels suddenly floating in the pond must have come from a giant shaker of fish food, swarm around Kevin in a feeding frenzy. Homer, reacting to the visual stimulation of unprocessed fish sticks, dives into the water in an attempt to capture a sashimi lunch and scares away the fish, heroically saving Kevin’s jewels. After a failed attempt to revive the skin and bones that previously were Neil, Bart walks away in sorrow to call the absent Lisa on his new Bluetooth. As the camera pans to the concerned face of Maggie, a constant sucking sound can be heard.

The guy in the barrel jumps in and Lisa goes snorkeling under the guy in the barrel and learns what makes him float!

Alas, ..Bart’s youthful frolicking is sadly brought to a sudden halt, as he
tragically learns the downside of landing unexpectantly on an ICEE straw….

Bart lands feet first on Homer’s stomach, and bounces of and nails Neil Miller in the side of the head, knocking his sunglasses so they hang down from one ear.

Bart then ricochets at high speed into Kevin Carr’s barrel.

The straps break as the barrel spins faster and faster, rising up until it flies off into the sky, revealing Kevin is wearing a large pair of swimsuit trunks with an American flag on it.

Homer jumps up and runs over and looks at the trunks curiously, and says “Wait a minute…” suspiciously. He rips off the trunks revealing a smaller pair of trunks with the Canadian maple leaf on them. “AHA!”

“No, wait…” Kevin objects. “Look!” He rips away the Canadian trunks, revealing another stars and stripes pair.

“AHA!” “No, wait!” “AHA!!!” “No, wait!!!” The pair take turns ripping the trunks off of Kevin, with the trunks getting smaller each time. One pair that Kevin reveals is red with a hammer and sicke on it. “How’d that get in there?” he asks, ripping that one off himself.

They continue tearing the trunks off, until, only one pair remains. Kevin has quickly covered up the middle with his hands, but from the strings that connect the front cloth with the back, it is clear that there is nothing on underneath.

“Alright, what color are those trunks?!? I’ve gotta know!!!” Homer reaches to rip the trunks off. Marge gasps and covers Maggie’s eyes. Neil grabs a camera and aims it, ready to capture the reveal.

“Wait!” Kevin yells. “I know what state Springfield is in!!! I’ll say it, I swear I will!”

Lisa runs in from off the screen. “Dad! Don’t risk it!!!”

Suddenly, there is the sound of rushing air, and from the foreground, the Duff beer blimp with a barrel-sized hole in it flies in, and Homer is caught by the gondola and flown around the sky for a while, and then the barrel drops straight down and back onto Kevin. He grabs it and runs off as Neil’s camera flashes.

The goldola and blimp do a nosedive, crushing Homer into a mangled mess at the side of the pond. “What a way to go…” he says painfully, then reaches over and opens another beer. He pours some, pauses for “oww…”, then pours some more, and gives another “oww…” Neil spins and gets a picture, then spins as the scene zooms in on his face and camera, ending with a close-up of the camera flash unit. He takes a flash shot of us, the audience, and the flash whites out the screen.

(Cue the music.) ;)

Kevin Carr heard the Marge had her bikini bottoms on her head, so he thought clothing was optional. Meanwhile, Neil Miller , disguised as Ringo Starr, waited for Marge to emerge from the pool of radioactive runoff from a factory owned by Mr. Burns.