Hold on tight, you guys, War is really Coming this time. I promise, there will be a great battle — and it’s likely going to happen in next week’s episode, which just so happens to be directed by Dog Soldiers and Centurion director Neil Marshall. But more on that later. For now, we’ll just focus on the eighth episode of season two, “The Prince of Winterfell,” in our weekly column known as Blog of Thrones, the people’s champion of Westeros and the first place you should come on Monday mornings for all the juiciest Game of Thrones watercooler discussion. This week we get to use dirty words, contemplate strategies and watch one of our favorite characters finally get what’s coming to him. As always, Blog of Thrones is written from the perspective of a relative novice to George R.R. Martin’s books. It focuses solely on Game of Thrones the show and assumes that you’ve seen everything up to the latest episode. If you travel down this Kingsroad and find yourself spoiled, the king will know the reason why. 

Back in the late 1990s, you only had two options for discussing movies. You could hang out with friends in the parking lot or late night waffle hut afterward, complaining about nipples on Batman, or you could go online to sites like Aint It Cool and Movie Poop Shoot to give unbridled, anonymous opinions slathered with as much cursing vitriol as you pleased. That’s what the internet has given us. A tool to help social uprisings, and a forum for hiding your identity while calling Joel Schumacher a “douchenozzle.” That wide-ranging usefulness is a thing of beauty, and Kevin Smith is seeking to tap into it with his new show, Spoilers. The set up is simple: Smith will amass a crowd of 50 movie fans to watch a film and then discuss it afterward. Smith will play ringmaster, and members of the opinion-loaded audience will get to share to their heart’s content. In short? It’s the comments section come to life. Of course, that’s not all the show has up its sleeves.

“Why just watch when you can feel?” That was the question ABC Entertainment Group President Paul Lee put to advertisers while pitching next year’s lineup at the network’s upfront presentation. Those are awfully grandiose words for someone affiliated with The Bachelor and Dancing with the Stars (both returning next year), don’t you think? The shows that apparently weren’t living up to this lofty guiding principle: GCB, Missing, The River, Cougar Town, and Pan Am. Cougar Town is moving to TBS where they don’t care about feelings, and there’s been an outpouring of support from GCB fans, with people signing petitions to save the show, so there were some feelings, but I guess it was too late. No one seems too worked up about the other cancellations, though, so Lee got it right. The emotion stirring returning shows include Last Man Standing, Happy Endings, Modern Family, Scandal, Once Upon a Time, Revenge, and America’s Funniest Home Videos. ABC recently released trailers for its new series and here are a few of the more interesting ones. But how well they fit with the network’s new philosophy is a little confusing.

Winter is Coming. And War. But mostly Winter. And playful ginger girls from beyond The Wall. Yes, it’s time again for our weekly Blog of Thrones, the part of the week when we urge you to gather around the mead cooler and talk of Westeros and the Free Cities of Men. As we march through the show’s second season, it’s important to be constantly reminded that Winter is Coming. It stands as an excellent motto for all of what is to come in this story — “Winter” is not just about cold, but of war and evil and evil war. With that in mind, we put Winter is Coming on our banners this week and forge on as the staggeringly good HBO series ripped from the mind of George R.R. Martin (and his books) moves swiftly toward a season two finale that continues to promise big things. This week, we learn about a few key personality traits shared by many a character in this Game of Thrones. As always, Blog of Thrones is written from the perspective of a relative novice to George R.R. Martin’s books. It focuses solely on Game of Thrones the show and assumes that you’ve seen everything up to the latest episode. If you travel down this Kingsroad and find yourself spoiled, the king will know the reason why. 

With most of the sitcoms that debuted in the fall (and managed to escape cancellation) winding down this week, I think it’s time to crown a winner. Which one of these brand new sitcoms most deserves to stick around?  Which was the most memorable? Which came out on top? Zooey Deschanel’s New Girl has already been renewed, Whitney was a thing that happened, but the show that worked the best for me was NBC’s Up All Night. Executive produced by Lorne Michaels and created by former Saturday Night Live writer Emily Spivey, Up All Night is a funny and relatable look at the life of a married couple, played by Christina Applegate and Will Arnett, trying to adapt to life with a new baby. Arnett is Chris, a former lawyer who has decided to stay home with their daughter while Appelgate’s Regan returns to work where she struggles to balance motherhood with the demands of her larger than life boss Ava—an Oprah-like talk show host played by Maya Rudolph. The show was this season’s best new sitcom and here are four reasons why.

It’s time to call you back in, my Bannermen. And Bannerladies. As you well know, Winter is Coming. And as we steam past the midpoint of season two, the big season finale is also coming to the lands of Westeros. So our weekly Blog of Thrones can see the end of this round, not clearly, but on the horizon. This week we learn plenty of lessons along with the denizens of Winterfell, King’s Landing, Harrenhal and whatever the hell they call those mountains north of The Wall. These lessons will likely come back to be important later in the season, as many a collision course is being set. War may be upon these gamers of thrones, but we are yet to see the real bloodbath that is to come. As always, Blog of Thrones is written from the perspective of a relative novice to George R.R. Martin’s books. It focuses solely on Game of Thrones the show and assumes that you’ve seen everything up to the latest episode. If you travel down this Kingsroad and find yourself spoiled, the king will know the reason why. 

Naturally, I watch TV because it’s entertaining, it brings me joy, books take too long to read, etc. but I believe that it can also be instructive. If I’d never seen the episode of Punky Brewster where Cherie got trapped in the refrigerator while playing hide-and-seek, I may have never learned how dangerous that seemingly innocuous appliance really is. But TV can also save your life in ways that aren’t so obvious. Besides being better than refrigerators. Most learned people think that reality television shows like Bravo’s Real Housewives franchise are harming our society and that even the reality programs that aren’t celebrating idiocy and low culture are creating a sense of entitlement in the nation’s youth and promoting ruthlessness or egotism. But what if these learned people have it all wrong and reality television is actually what’s going to allow our civilization to survive? I usually just mindlessly watch the weird shows on networks like Animal Planet and TLC but recently I’ve been starting to think that some of these shows might be able to help us navigate a post-apocalyptic future (which—let’s just face it—may ironically be brought about by these very shows).

The anticipation one feels from week-to-week as a fan of Game of Thrones is almost maddening. Like any great dramatic work, every new chapter delivers as many new questions as it does answers. “The Ghost of Harrenhal,” season two’s fifth chapter, is absolutely no exception. Critics of the overwhelming nudity in Game of Thrones can relax for a week — this one isn’t about the sex — but plenty of people are violated. With our weekly Blog of Thrones entry, it’s time to see what happens as the battle between brothers Baratheon escalates in an unexpectedly swift manner, Daenerys and her dragon children settle in to Qarth and Tyrion Lannister continues to maneuver around his twisted sister. Remember, Blog of Thrones is written from the perspective of a “Song of Ice and Fire” novice — no making fun of me if I can’t pronounce all the names correctly — and it is done so with the understanding that you have seen last night’s episode and those before it. There won’t be any spoilers beyond that, of course, but before you read on, get yourself caught up, then come have a good old fashioned discussion about all the intricately crafted drama of Westeros.

Darkwing Duck, Doug, The Ren & Stimpy Show, Rocko’s Modern Life, X-Men, Pepper Ann. The ’90s were the best time for animated children’s programming, right? But, of course, I was a kid in the ’90s, so I’m biased. If I’d grown up in the ’80s I’d probably cite Thundercats, Jem, and He-Man as examples of how that decade was killing it and think the crap that all of the little jerks in the ’90s were watching lacked soul or guts or whatever. Until recently, my 20-somethingness had caused me to be totally dismissive of contemporary cartoons. I know, it’s a really odd thing to be pretentious about but in a lot of cases—in fact, most cases—it was warranted. But then I watched Regular Show and Adventure Time, two Cartoon Network animated series that have been getting a lot of love from kids and adults alike, and now I’m begrudgingly starting to think that I’ve been completely wrong about the ’90s.

When you were a kid, your parents kept certain difficult realities from you for your own good. Maybe they didn’t want you to know that they were having financial or marital problems. Or, it could have been that they didn’t think you were ready to know how sex worked or that you weren’t particularly cute. Whatever it was, they shielded you from it so you could enjoy your childhood. If TV networks, showrunners, and actors felt that same sense of parental responsibility toward their audiences, at least 10% of the anxiety in TV-watching life would be eliminated. If you’re a Community fan, then you undoubtedly know about this weird quasi/maybe-not-so-quasi feud between series creator Dan Harmon and Chevy Chase. If you aren’t a fan and don’t know what the hell I’m referring to (a) consider yourself lucky, (b) it’s about leaked voicemails and on-set behavior that suggest the two aren’t the chummiest of chums, and (c) the actual reasons behind the beef don’t matter as much as the fact that the beef is public knowledge now. And that hurts the show.

As promised, the wicked pace set in the first episode of Game of Thrones‘ second season has calmed a bit, as the time for checking in on everyone in Westeros is done and the time for the build up to the storm of war — which appears to be happening on about 30 fronts — is upon us. It all brings us to perhaps the best episode of the new season yet, “What Is Dead May Never Die,” a chance to see some real political maneuvering on several fronts. But before we get into the nitty gritty details, remember that our weekly Blog of Thrones is not meant to be spoiler free. It’s written by yours truly, a man who has never read George R.R. Martin’s books, so there won’t be spoilers of anything in the future, but I am assuming that you’ve seen everything up to and including this week’s episodes. With that in mind, lets talk about sexual politics…

Editor’s note: With Girls premiering on HBO this weekend, we thought one of Kate’s favorites from SXSW was in need of a re-run. This review was originally posted on March 13, as part of our SXSW Film Festival coverage. Multi-hyphenate Lena Dunham has previously hit SXSW with two unique efforts – in 2009, with the debut of her ambitious, lo-fi Creative Nonfiction, and follow-up in 2010 with the controversial Tiny Furniture, which earned the Narrative Feature award in that year’s section. Dunham’s work has proven polarizing – some people admire her self-effacing and very personal brand of filmmaking, while others balk at her navel-gazing style. Returning to SXSW this year, Dunham again brought along a personal project about self-effacing, navel-gazing, shaky-legged twenty-something girls in the big city, but this time Dunham is serving as star/writer/director/producer on a television series, HBO’s Girls, produced with Judd Apatow. And while her previous works might not have the sort of widespread appeal that a television series would require, Dunham’s Girls is wickedly hilarious, quite accessible, and it proves that Dunham’s in-character pronouncement that she could be the voice of her generation is not far off – at all.

In 1985, John Fogerty was sued for plagiarizing himself. It was a bizarre courtroom situation that arose because Fogerty had forfeited the rights to his old Creedance Clearwater Revival hits to a former record label that went after him when a song he wrote on his new album “Centerfield” sounded too much like his own work. Copyright law is complicated. What can you do. In the last week, a script surfaced that’s purportedly the pilot to The Newsroom, the new HBO show from Aaron Sorkin, and it feels a bit like Fogerty all over again. Sorkin is cribbing off of Sorkin. Of course there are a million grains of salt to throw with this. The primary one being that random scripts on the old internet could be from anywhere. For some reason, writers believe they can fake leaked scripts in order to gain a name through the back door (like writers did on Studio 60 when they weren’t being heard in the room), but it’s actually the writing equivalent of suicide by cop (which a troubled man did on an episode of The West Wing). The internet can be an unforgiving place and pretending to be another writer automatically creates a comparison that no one can survive against. However, this particular script (which you can find if you search for it) seems legit. But there’s a funny thing there, when you’re reading a curious script that can be from anyone. In the back of your mind, you’re imagining that someone [Due to Content Scraping and Theft, we have been forced to try abbreviated feeds. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause and woud very much appreciate you clicking through to view the full article on FilmSchoolRejects.com]

Raise your hand if you didn’t think Game of Thrones would get picked up by HBO for a third season? If your hand is up, that will be convenient, as your next step is to use it to smack yourself in the back of the head. After some series-best ratings in the first two weeks of its second season, Game of Thrones has solidified itself as a genuine hit. That is, of course, if you ignore the fact that it’s winning awards, drowning in critical praise, and above all else, based on a series of books that provides fan-base and source material that should last at least 5 seasons. Ignoring all that makes this a surprise. Ergo, it’s not a surprise. In related news, my Blog of Thrones series has also been picked up for another season. It’s the natural order of things. Someone must espouse the many wonders of Peter Dinklage.

If only one could create an opening credits sequence for a blog post, the one for this particular column would be as informational and visually pleasing as that of Game of Thrones. If you’re paying attention — something I’m not always one to do — keeping a close eye on the opening credits for season two’s second episode will bring clarity to some of the other areas of Westeros left unexplored in season one. Namely Pike in the Iron Islands and Dragonstone. The geography of all this is going to become important as season two wears on, one can assume, because it seems like everyone will be moving from their respective locations and descending on King’s Landing, where episode two’s missing boy, the false King Joffrey, waits for all-out war. But before that happens, season two appears to be slowing down a bit, taking some time to introduce us to new characters. Gone is the dizzying march across the lives of season one’s beloved (and not so beloved) characters. In its place are some new faces, some new alliances and yeah, some of that wonderful Game of Thrones nudity. Of course, as you read on with this week’s Blog of Thrones, remember that you should do so having watched this week’s episode and the entirety of season one. This author will not be held responsible for spoiling anything that has already aired. Also, here’s hoping you brought some notes, as there will be a discussion at the end.

ABC’S Once Upon a Time is a fairy tale soap opera with a melodramatic storyline that revolves around murder cover-ups, frame jobs, ill-fated lovers, and a no-nonsense female sheriff who curls her hair ever-so-slightly. Everything about the series, from the writing to the music box soundtrack to the art direction, is hokey and I know this to be true with every fiber of my being. But I can’t stop watching it. I mean, I seriously watch the hell out of this show. Sometimes I watch an episode on Sunday night when it first airs and then I’ll watch that same episode the next day On Demand. Later in the week, I may even watch that episode again. And, in the interest of full disclosure, I must tell you that I’m watching last Sunday’s episode as I’m writing this. So what is it about this super corny series that makes it so appealing? Created by Edward Kitsis and Adam Horowitz, Once Upon a Time’s premise is…convoluted (but what else would you expect from a couple of erstwhile Lost staff writers?). On the day that Snow White (Ginnifer Goodwin) marries her Prince Charming (Josh Dallas), Snow’s stepmonster, the Evil Queen Regina (Lana Parrilla) curses the lovers and everyone else in Fairy Tale Land, threatening to destroy their happiness.

Four episodes. That’s about how long I was able to remain a skeptic. For some unforeseen and completely magical reason, I was able to remain completely spoiler-free on Game of Thrones and its much talked about first season. Even though it had aired many months before, I went into reviewing the first season on Blu-ray last month with open eyes and a clear mind, completely untainted save for the layers of praise spread all over the series by many a friend or acquaintance. Having never read the books and feeling rather complacent with the iron-crusted genre of kings, lords and fools. Little did I know that I was merely a cripple, a bastard and a broken thing. My skepticism would be washed away half way through the opening series, when all hell was breaking. With one swipe of the sword (or a few, rather), I was converted into a believer. There’s more to this world of the Westeros than I had ever expected. And that’s before the first season’s final moments, where seeing truly was believing. This has all brought us to this moment, the day following the premiere of season two. My newfound fandom of this world has not yet led me to the literature, but it might. It has, at the very least, led me to a desire to blog along with the epic second season. I write this as convert, who remained skeptical through much of the first season, unable to understand what the big deal was about until [Due to Content Scraping and Theft, we have been forced to try abbreviated feeds. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause and woud very much appreciate you clicking through to view the full article on FilmSchoolRejects.com]

If I were to call The Vampire Diaries stupid, I don’t think that too many people would be outraged or even ask me to explain why I had that opinion. Everyone would probably just assume that I wasn’t in to vampires or diaries or good-looking men with smoldering eyes and leave it at that. The show definitely has its fan base, and it’s a very devoted fan base, but it’s socially acceptable to not like The Vampire Diaries. Now, what if I were to call Mad Men stupid? The kind of inarticulate assessment that it’s perfectly OK to make when talking about The Vampire Diaries probably wouldn’t fly when talking about Matthew Weiner’s acclaimed drama (mainly because the show isn’t stupid and, even if it isn’t your cup of mid-afternoon booze, there are certain things about it that you have to concede—it’s thematically complex, well-written, pretty to look at, etc.). I happen to be a faithful Mad Men viewer but I know that there are people who find it painfully unwatchable and I also know that these people aren’t hillbillies (no offense to hillbillies) or unintelligent. Disliking a popular show is, of course, alienating—even when you’re steadfast in your opinion—but it’s also just incredibly frustrating; there’s a kind of emperor’s new clothes aspect to it where you’re left asking, what is it that I’m missing here?

During a panel about the state of the Battlestar Galactica franchise at this year’s WonderCon, Michael Taylor, the co-creator of Blood and Chrome—a Battlestar prequel that you may remember was green-lighted by SyFy back in 2010—screened a trailer for the two-hour pilot. This latest extension of the Battlestar universe revolves around 20-something William Adama, a recent Academy graduate. The images Taylor culled together and presented to the WonderCon audience were exciting—set in space and filled with Viper pilots, the look of it is much more in line with the original (reimagined) series than Caprica—if a bit depressing, since the show’s future is still uncertain. Last anyone heard, SyFy’s enthusiasm for the project was waning and as a result, they were thinking of maybe, possibly, one day breaking the pilot up into pieces and delivering it to us as an online series instead of airing it in its entirety on TV. As much as I’d like to eventually see Blood & Chrome in one form or another, I understand SyFy’s ambivalence. Caprica really did kill the franchise’s momentum.

Yes, the moment you may or may not have been waiting for since 1991 is almost here: 21 Jump Street, the overly sincere, denim heavy, painfully ‘80s TV series about baby-faced cops going undercover in high schools, blowin’ up the spot and teaching everyone about morals or whatever, has been updated and turned into a movie that’s being released this weekend! The series, which aired from 1987 to 1991, served as a launching pad for the career of one of today’s greatest actors: Peter DeLuise. (Johnny Depp may have also been on the show.) The weird premise and casting of a pre-mega fame DeLuise are, I guess, what keep 21 Jump Street alive in our collective memory all of these years later. (Although, I don’t think that this new movie is necessarily intended for people who were fans of the series or who were even alive during its run.) Even though the whole “film based on old TV show” genre is ultimately the result of laziness, unoriginality, and rooted in the simple fact that that our memories and feelings of nostalgia can be exploited for profit, the release of 21 Jump Street means that series that existed in the ‘90s are starting to make their way to the big screen and that’s kind of exciting. So if this is where we’re headed, someone might as well start adapting the following shows.