Film School Rejects » Lists

The Kings Of Squirm Inducing Comedy

David Baxter — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 02:42:09 +0000

We realize that Bruno has been in theaters for a week now, so we may seem late to the game on this. Hell, if you didn’t see it opening night in order to gossip at the water cooler the next day, you were late to the game, too it seems. However, the more we thought about Sacha Baron Cohen’s style of humor, the more we wanted to explore that awkward world even more.

I don’t know about you, but I adore comedy like this that takes it to the edge. I like the awkward silences, the painful conversations and the jaws to the floor, I-can’t-believe-they-did-that moments. Bruno is just the latest in a long line of OH-MY-GOD comedy, that seems to be in its heyday. As everyone knows Britain is the home of awkward moments, thus I (as the token Brit) feel in a nice position to pick out the current kings of squirm inducing comedy.

5. Damon Beesley and Iain Morris – The Inbetweeners, Flight of the Conchords

“Who?” I hear you ask. These may not be the most well known guys at this stage, but I predict big things for the future. They know how to craft an awkward moment perfectly, as anyone that has seen their series “The Inbetweeners” can attest. Outside Britain this has yet to make a dent, but it is the most realistic depiction of those ‘inbetween’ cool and geek. The situations are almost unbearable to watch as the reality of trying to hump whatever looks at you in high school backfires. They also wrote two episodes of the superb “Flight of the Conchords,” which has been note-perfect since episode one. Both fantastic portrayals of awkward comedy, and I eagerly await series three of “The Inbetweeners” and whatever else they lend their talents to.

Awkward moment of glory:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uvTgvEzpSzQ&feature=fvste1

4. Seth MacFarlane – Family Guy, American Dad, The Cleveland Show

Here’s where I get hate comments. Yes I love “Family Guy”, dearly love it. I love the too-soon humor, I love the cut-away gags and most of all I love the balls out offensiveness of it all. I’ve been on board for years and following the adventures of Peter, Stewie et al has become a ritual. Of course this brand of comedy has split audiences, but I feel putting comedy before plot doesn’t hurt. But here we come to the reason for its inclusion on this list – the awkwardness. To fully enjoy pop in the DVD while sitting with your parents, or even better your in-laws, and watch as their opinion of you falls lower than Lindsay Lohan’s self esteem. See the pop culture referencing is contagious. Love it or hate it though, Seth MacFarlane is the highest paid man in TV land and with “American Dad” and “The Cleveland Show” already taking over, we’ll likely see a “Family Guy” film. Maybe you should get used to people liking it.

Awkward moment of glory:

3. Larry David – Curb Your Enthusiasm, Seinfeld

Larry David is a genius of comedy. He knows what makes funny, and he crafts moments of well earned cringe. You can only watch in agony as Larry puts himself in situations that will always end badly, he even seems to see it coming and yet on the path he stays. It’s the improvisational tactic that adds a fresh edge to scenes, as we don’t know where it’s going to go because they don’t either. The plots of almost all episodes are based solely around David’s social faux pas, which range from criticising the Black’s (the family of course) to having floppy trousers that look like an erection. Watching, you can’t help but feel bad for Larry as he is simply in the wrong place at the wrong time all the time. You’d think after six seasons you couldn’t wring more awkwardness out but we have a seventh season on the horizon, where of course the reality of being a ‘black’ will sink in.

Awkward Moment of Glory:

2. Ricky Gervais – The Office, Extras

Never has the simple office life been captured in all its painful glory. The basic, horrible, difficult day to day monotony captured flawlessly. David Brent is every boss everyone’s ever had, and therein lies the appeal of watching bad jokes land like a thud in a silent office. Encapsulating real life embarrassing moments is much more painful as you can’t help but regress to that time your manager asked you out for a drink and you had to mumble about doing something else. “Extras” is a different beast, leaving behind the ‘real’ world and yet the uncomfortable nature stays true. We get Andy Millman mistaking disabled people for drunks and kicking dwarfs in the head. Not something I can say I’ve done (yet) but just seeing the terrible consequences has you hiding behind the couch. Gervais main attribute is that he treats the audience with enough respect to know that he’s not a racist, or a misogynist, just an idiot. An idiot who always says the wrong thing.

Awkward Moment of Glory:

1. Sacha Baron Cohen – Borat, Ali G, Bruno

Make no mistake, Sacha Baron Cohen isn’t top of this list just because Bruno came out last week. He’s top because he gives awkward comedy captured with real people. So he not only puts his shame on the line, instead possibly his life. Take for example Bruno’s jaunt to an American football game in Alabama, or Borat’s rendition of ‘throw the Jew down the well’. This is the bravest a comedian can be; Putting themselves secondary to the laughs. Ali G was of course his first character, and he is a shining example of playing dumb, somehow making the interviewee look more stupid. I can’t even fathom having the audacity to ask Buzz Aldrin whether the moon exists, and whether he was jealous of Louis Armstrong getting to go first. I’m shifting uncomfortably even thinking about it. His improvisational ability and startling ability to say anything. We shall of course see on Friday just how much further he’s willing to go.

Awkward Moment of Glory:

What do you think? Who is the best awkward comedian?

10 Most Awesome Movie Explosions Of All Time Ever

Robert Fure — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 23:40:14 +0000

There are two films hitting theaters this week that celebrate the beauty of a great explosion. The first is obviously Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, which is the first film that your grandfather can hear without his Beltone in years. But the second is a film that Cole and Neil have already dubbed the best film of the year so far – The Hurt Locker – a film that’s more about having bombs not go off (even if we’re always secretly hoping for a big, beautiful blast). Thankfully, both films deliver. So, in honor of Transformers and The Hurt Locker’s willingness to endanger life, limb, and property with fireballs hundreds of feet high, we’re counting down 10 of our favorite cinematic explosions.

Ready or not, here comes the BOOM.

10. Live Free or Die Hard

While this PG-13 bumblefart (heh) didn’t exactly hit the pin on the primer, the explosion at the gas plant showed that the franchise still has some boom to it.

9. Chain Reaction

Keanu Reeves is generally linked to a different type of bomb. I kid. I like Reeves, and The Matrix almost made the list twice, but everyone remembers those explosions. Instead, check out Chain Reaction to watch little Keanu’s big, bad science project go big and bad all over a three block radius.

8. Stealth

Perhaps the worst movie on the list. I can’t really recommend you watch it even though Jessica Biel is in it and she’s my babyboo (does that mean girlfriend, I’m not sure). What I can recommend you watch is this explosion. I’m not sure what the hell he fired, but it sure as hell packed a punch.

7. Spaceballs

How bad does George Lucas feel that a movie-spoof of Star Wars not only has a better final explosion than the 1977 version, but the explosion of the giant atmosphere vacuum is better than the “Special Edition” too? Check out that baby blow.

6. The Rocketeer

You can score bonus points with me by blowing up unconventional things – like zeppelins. This rolling fireball is awesome and serves as a reminder of why we don’t float around in giant bombs anymore.

5. The Rock

Of course Michael AWESOME Bay has to be on the list and virtually any of his movies could be – especially Transformers 2 which has, at my count, 114,386 explosions. The Rock is perhaps his most widely accepted film as being totally awesome and extra awesome. The explosion itself may not be the biggest on the list (the score might be more intense), but it’s definitely one of the more memorable explosions in recent film history. Toss in a dropped bomb (that can vaporize!) and Nic Cage in slow motion, and you get the quintessential Baysplosion.

4. The Dark Knight

If you want to get a realistic explosion you’ve got to really blow up a big ass building, so Christopher Nolan did just that in creating perhaps one of the largest, most legitimately dangerous explosions ever. Bonus points for it being a hospital!

3. Commando

Arnold “I blow things up with my muscles” Schwarzenegger has to be on the list somewhere, and if you know me, you know I pimp Commando out all day, every day. John Matrix decided it was time to rescue his daughter and topple an evil dictator so he did what any shirtless man would do – fired a ton of rockets and blew up what amounts to an entire military base, killing thousands, most of whom were probably inside sleeping or eating. Bad. Ass.

2. Independence Day

2. Independence Day. This movie was king of explosions for a long time and is still worth watching when you need a fireball fix. Sure, the White House explosion gets a lot of exposure, but I prefer watching the Empire State Building get blown up and send massive waves of fire down the street. Boo to the ya!

1. V for Vendetta. England finally gets to win something! Well, sort of. When V’s plan kicked into action and he did his own version of the Gunpowder Plot, substituting hundreds of pounds of boom for gunpowder, he managed to utterly and completely blow the living shit out of Parliament. This explosion is long, full of debris, and totally worhty of multiple viewings on Blu-ray.

If you’re a fan of BOOM, go see Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen in theaters now because its more explosive than Kevin Carr’s diarrhea after taco Tuesdays.

So those are ten of our favorite exposions – what are yours?

This movie was king of explosions for a long time and is still worth watching when you need a fireball fix. Sure, the White House explosion gets a lot of exposure, but I prefer watching the Empire State Building get blown up and send massive waves of fire down the street. Boo to the ya!

1. V For Vendetta

England finally gets to win something! Well, sort of. When V’s plan kicked into action and he did his own version of the Gunpowder Plot, substituting hundreds of pounds of boom for gunpowder, he managed to utterly and completely blow the living shit out of Parliament. This explosion is long, full of debris, and totally worthy of multiple viewings on Blu-ray.

So those are ten of our favorite explosions – what are yours?

A Very Uncool EW Ranks Top 20 Coolest Heroes In Pop Culture

Rob Hunter — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 16:55:14 +0000

Okay, we all know how this works. Entertainment Weekly puts out a list ranking something… anything… Best Movies, Funniest Titles, Best Use Of A Vagina… and the denizens of the web work themselves into a frothy frenzy over the errors, mistakes, omissions, insults, and travesties within. Lists in general, and EW’s ridiculously inept lists in particular are nothing more than virtual chum used to draw in the page views and comments. It’s a cheap ploy and legitimate journalists should know better than to stoop to such artificial means to increase traffic.

Which brings us to the first of two new EW lists… 20 All Time Coolest Heroes In Pop Culture… which we’re happy to reprint in all it’s glory for our readers. Say what you will about EW and the shmucks who compile these things, but said shmucks do have a knack for making each list more hilariously inexplicable than the last. Take a look at what is and isn’t there then sound off in the comments section below!

James Bond
Indiana Jones
Superman
Harry Potter
Ellen Ripley
John McClane
Han Solo
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Robin Hood
Spider Man
Mad Max
Captain Kirk
Foxy Brown
Will Kane
Dirty Harry
Jack Bauer
Nancy Drew
Batman
Atticus Finch
Sydney Bristow

So… first impressions? Superman is the least cool superhero ever. Harry Potter cooler than anyone on this list? It took the kid four books to get his first kiss (although it was with an Asian). Dirty Harry and Jack Bauer should both be in the top ten at least. Robin Hood? Robin Hood? Seriously? And Han Solo should be number one with a laser beam (that he fired first).

Your thoughts?

Discuss: EW’s Ranking Of The 50 Greatest Active Directors

Rob Hunter — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 00:08:30 +0000

What’s better than a good list? A bad list, obviously. And Entertainment Weekly is once again happy to oblige with their ranking of the “50 Greatest Active Film Directors.” The only qualification they put before the ranking is that they’re “counting down the most talented, in-demand filmmakers behind the camera today.” So with these vague and conflicting criteria in mind, here’s EW’s terribly humorous list. Enjoy.

1. Steven Spielberg
2. Peter Jackson
3. Martin Scorsese
4. Christopher Nolan
5. Steven Soderbergh
6. Ridley Scott
7. Quentin Tarantino
8. Michael Mann
9. James Cameron
10. Joel and Ethan Coen
11. Guillermo del Toro
12. David Fincher
13. Tim Burton
14. Judd Apatow
15. Sam Raimi
16. Zack Snyder
17. Darren Aronofsky
18. Danny Boyle
19. Clint Eastwood
20. Ron Howard
21. Ang Lee
22. Paul Thomas Anderson
23. Paul Greengrass
24. Pedro Almodóvar
25. Jon Favreau
26. Woody Allen
27. Brad Bird
28. David Cronenberg
29. Sofia Coppola
30. Bryan Singer
31. Sam Mendes
32. Mel Gibson
33. The Wachowski Brothers
34. J.J. Abrams
35. Alfonso Cuaron
36. Hayao Miyazaki
37. Mike Leigh
38. Oliver Stone
39. Roman Polanski
40. Spike Jonze
41. Richard Linklater
42. Spike Lee
43. David Lynch
44. Wong Kar-Wai
45. Wes Anderson
46. Mira Nair
47. Andrew Stanton
48. Michael Moore
49. Mary Harron
50. Sidney Lumet

A few questions and observations to get the rest of you started…

Someone, probably blckmanjew, is going to slam Spielberg’s placement at #1, but I think it’s the only spot EW actually got right. He’s made some pablum to be sure, but his filmography contains more blockbusters and critically acclaimed movies than anyone else on the list.

But what about Zack Snyder at #16? Higher than Clint Eastwood, Ang Lee, PT Anderson? Bullshit. And Jon Favreau at #25? Higher than David Cronenberg, Wong Kar-Wai, and Wes Anderson? Bullshit. Only three women on the list, seemingly as afterthoughts in the bottom 25? No Kathryn Bigelow, Nora Ephron, or Jane Campion? And where is Terry Gilliam? Terrence Malick? Chan-wook Park? Kevin Costner? And why the hell is JJ Abrams on this list at all?

Okay. Your turn.

What do you think of EW’s list?

Ten Great Sci-Fi Stories That Deserve to Be Films

Robert Fure — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 05:00:23 +0000

With the trailer for Star Trek coming out a bit ago and The Day the Earth Stood Still hitting theaters this weekend, we’ve all been thinking a lot about science fiction lately. Looking back on the modern theatrical history, there haven’t been that many good science fiction films for a pretty good span. So we decided to do some of the work for Hollywood and find them 10 science fiction books that are ready for the big screen treatment.

10. “Neuromancer” (William Gibson, 1984). This cyberpunk story has tried to make it to the big screen a few times, but never quite got there. Neuromancer was one of the first of its kind and Gibson coined the term “cyberspace” in creating a world where everyone was connected via technology. In the novel, Henry Case is recruited for his skills as a hacker and gets embroiled in a complex web that involves Artificial Intelligence and even an attempted invasion of the Soviet Union that features ultra-light aircraft and laser defenses.

9. “The Gods Themselves” (Isaac Asimov, 1972). Asimov’s self-professed favorite story revolves around a group of aliens from a parallel universe that want to work with our universe to create an immense source of energy, but really they’re out to benefit from the process despite the fact it will eventually make our sun go Super Nova. Aliens are assholes! The book is rare among Asimov’s work because he spends a great deal of time explaining the complex alien life forms and their roles.

8. “Gateway” (Frederik Pohl, 1977). Winning the Hugo, Nebula, and John W. Campbell awards means that this story is awesome. Humans find “The Gateway,” a hollow asteroid that served as a base for a missing alien race. Left behind are very advanced spaceships, which our puny brains can’t figure out. All we basically decipher is how to hit the ignition – the ship then goes off to destinations unknown and returns automatically, if it returns at all. The novel is awesome for these adventures and also for dealing with a monster black hole and time dilation.

7. “A Deepness in the Sky” (Vernor Vinge, 1999). Two human civilizations attempt to exploit a race of arachnid like aliens (imaginatively called “spiders”) that are becoming technologically advanced. Humans being humans, however, one side attacks the other with a virus. When their ships are damaged however, the two groups slowly intermingle while waiting for the Spiders to advance enough in technology to manufacture the required bits to fix their ships.

6. “Armor” (John Steakley, 1984). Need some action alongside your thinking? This book follows a war between men and aliens, where the aliens are 9 foot tall bug like creatures and the humans wear powered armor to whip some ass. Not totally about ass kicking, the story delves deeply into the emotional state of those within the armor, who face hell in a hellish world. The protagonist, Felix, has a tough time dealing with war, but an even tougher time when he realizes how good he is at it.

5. “Earth Abides” (George R. Stewart, 1949). A post-apocalyptic look at the world after humanity has been decimated by disease. The book takes a darker look at the future and what would happen if humanity was reset to virtually zero. How long would society last? What kind society would re-emerge? For the answers, which aren’t all sunshine and rainbows, bring this book to the big screen.

4. “A Fire Upon The Deep” (Vernor Vinge, 1992). Loosely related to A Deepness in the Sky, this complex and deep story features space battles, betrayals, genocide, and an enemy intelligence that multiplies at a rapid rate. Cinematically, this film would be epic to look at it, with giant space battles and other assorted crazy alien goings on.

3. “Old Man’s War” (John Scalzi, 2005). Imagine being a 75 year old man and signing up for the military. Your signing bonus? A genetically modified body, maxed out for strength, speed, and stamina. John Perry joins the Colonial Defense Force and heads out to whip some ass and in doing so, finds a woman who looks surprisingly like a young, sprightly version of his deceased wife.

2. “The Moon Is a Harsh Mistress” (Robert A. Heinlein, 1966). A Hugo Award winner from Starship Troopers author Robert Heinlein, this story takes place some 80 years after colonies have existed on the Moon. Those who stay there long enough can never adapt back to life on Earth and soon the Lunar residents revolt against Earth, fighting for their independence. Want some awesome? How about a giant moon catapult blasting rocks at Earth or an invasion of the moons surface by soldiers who have never fought in such low gravity? You got it.

1. “Stranger in a Strange Land” (Robert A. Heinlein, 1961). I make no apologies for loving Robert A. Heinlein’s work. I dig it. Normally, the man isn’t afraid of praising the military and launching a whole lot of kick ass. However, in this Hugo award winner, which has never gone out of print, he focuses more on religion and society. Valentine Smith is a human who was raised on Mars (by Martians!) who then returns to Earth with superhuman abilities and struggles to find his place in a culture that is completely alien to him. The book delves deep into theories on religion, including some cool ones that allow orgies, and the true nature of Smith is debatable. A smart novel that deserves a big screen adaptation.

And that will do it for us, folks! Ten great stories that should be on the big screen. Whether you want hardcore space battles, philosophical journeys through Earth and space, or just some great post-apocalyptic fiction, we’ve got it covered here. Hopefully with two pretty big Sci-Fi releases over the next few months Hollywood will figure out that there is a great wealth of material out there, waiting to be plucked from the page and projected on the big screen.

What science fiction stories would you like to see made into movies? Which of these sounds best to you?

10 Sci-Fi Films That Should Never Be Remade, and 5 That Probably Should Be

Rob Hunter — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 02:24:04 +0000

Keanu Reeves’ The Day The Earth Stood Still remake got us thinking about other impending re-imaginings of science fiction classics. That in turn got us thinking about “classic” sci-fi films that should never get remade. Which in turn got us thinking about a few that probably should. (That in turn got me thinking about Heather Thomas’ boobies.) This isn’t necessarily a list of untouchable classics. There’s nothing wrong with a remake that can improve on the original in some integral way… if the story can be made stronger, or if the original is no longer relevant to today’s audiences. Some films just can’t be made any better regardless of how much money and CGI is thrown their way, so let’s just all agree that the ten films below should never be remade. Okay Hollywood?

A Clockwork Orange – The message of Stanley Kubrick’s film is as relevant now as it was in 1971. Youth gone wild, the hopeless quest for a Utopian society, and authority figures who prefer blind allegiance over free will and free thought are all around us even today, but a remake couldn’t get the message across any better. In fact, I’d argue they’d fuck it up by toning things down. No studio would bankroll a film where the protagonist partakes of brutal rapes and violence, and no lead actor would take the role. And what song would play over the rape? Is there any contemporary pop song that would muster the same effect as “Singing in the Rain?” I’d vote for The Cure’s “Friday I’m In Love”, but a studio would probably go with something less cool like Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin’.”

Soylent Green – Charleton Heston’s third attempt at sci-fi (after the brilliant double-header of The Planet of the Apes and The Omega Man) is remembered solely for the big reveal at the end. But can you recall any of the scenes leading up to that shocking twist? Probably not. The final line has been immortalized in pop culture, but it’s a forgettable film without it.

Blade Runner – Do I really need to explain why Ridley Scott’s classic tale of identity, loneliness, and what it means to be human shouldn’t be remade? It shouldn’t. Period. And that goes for all five of the versions.

Close Encounters Of The Third Kind – Like Blade Runner, this film should also be an obvious candidate for the No Remake list. Steven Spielberg guides a young and curious Richard Dreyfuss through late night UFO fly-bys, marital troubles, and potato mountains, and no actor could capture his transformation from obsession to awareness any better. The effects still stand up today, the musical notes used to communicate between the species are ingrained into the social consciousness, and there’s no geological equivalent to Devil’s Peak that could be recreated on a dinner plate.

Time After Time – Jack the Ripper escapes to modern day America in H.G. Wells’ time machine and the visionary author must follow him through time. Fucking awesome and criminally underrated movie with brilliant performances by a mousy Malcolm McDowell and an evil David Warner, and more suspense and terror than usual for a PG-rated movie. It’s not heavy on the effects, so improvements there wouldn’t matter. The acting by the two leads, the mental and physical duel between them, is where the action and the heart are and it could not be done any better.

War Of The Gargantuas – If Roland Emmerich’s big budget remake of Godzilla taught us anything it’s that Jean Reno will sign on as “the mysterious Frenchman” in any movie. But it also showed us that the original Japanese Godzilla films, all seventy four of them, are more entertaining than any big-budget dud. War of the Gargantuas is a similarly entertaining, old-school, Saturday afternoon, Japanese monster movie. Two giant furry beasts, one brown and one green, knock the piss out of each other and Tokyo. CGI body hair will not be an improvement (I’m looking at you Peter Jackson…)

Runaway - I’m putting this on here in honor of it’s writer and director, Michael Crichton. The man birthed unto the world multiple books and films featuring science pushed to the edge and beyond… worlds filled with fantastic ideas and creations, timeless tales of dinosaurs, medical conspiracies, and aliens, fascinating plots and memorable ‘what if?’ scenarios. Runaway is not one of them.

The Fly – Like The Thing below, David Cronenberg’s film is itself a remake. Also like The Thing below, the performances and practical effects cannot be improved with new actors and CGI. Even with BrundleFly’s antics the movie still stands as Cronenberg’s most human. It’s filled with more emotion than the usual sci-fi fare, and that would be the first thing jettisoned if a remake ever came to fruition.

The Ice Pirates - Robert Urich, Ron Perlman, John Carradine… the ideal cast for a classic mid-eighties space comedy! Throw is some space herpies, a pimp-bot, and castration via an assembly line with metal-jaws designed to bite off a guy’s junk, and you have a fun romp that paradies Star Wars, pirates, and STD’s all at the same time. A funny movie made all the more endearing by it’s incredibly bad effects.

The Thing – Yes, I know, John Carpenter’s The Thing is a remake of Howard Hawks’ The Thing From Another World. So what. Carpenter’s film is the definitive version. The acting and suspense could not be better. The paranoia and tension could not be more palpable. And no CGI could ever touch Rob Bottin’s classic and visceral practical effects. And yes, I also know the remake is currently in development. Fuckers.

Just as there are movies that shouldn’t be touched, there are just as many films that could actually stand to be remade. The films below just might benefit from better production values and a modern day setting. Here are five that I’d recommend fast-tracking into development.

A Boy And His Dog – A classic Harlan Ellison tale about a boy and his telepathic dog who travel a post-apocalyptic America in search of food and sex. Sometimes they find them both in the same place… Remake this and have the dog actually talk, a la Babe, with Paul Rudd as the wise-ass canine’s voice. Jason Bateman can play the boy, and yes I know he’s a bit too old to play a ‘boy’ but so was Don Johnson. In fact, Rudd and Bateman could actually swap roles and this movie would still be hysterical.

The Final Countdown – This is the Michael Bay movie I’d see in the theater. A modern day aircraft carrier time-warped back to the Pacific Ocean in 1941, just hours before the Japanese strike on Pearl Harbor… the effects would be awesome, the battle would be huge, epic, and awesome, and if they succeed in stopping the attack then maybe, just maybe, we’ll forget that Bay’s Pearl Harbor ever existed.

Logan’s Run - A past holocaust has left survivors holed up in a domed city. To keep population and order in check the citizens are implanted with chips that change color when they reach thirty years old. Logan and Francis are Sandmen charged with chasing and killing the runners who try to escape their ordained demise on the Renewal Carousel (run by the main computer that slowly pulls you up into the air before it causes you to explode to the delight of the younger crowd below.) The bare mechanics of the plot are brilliant, and while Jenny Agutter is beautiful in her role as a member of the underground, the movie as a whole looks and behaves incredibly dated. There are more than a few goofy inconsistencies as well. A remake could keep the core story and revamp everything else for the better. And imagine the hot, young stars who could headline!

2001: A Space Odyssey – A fellow FSR writer, an editor actually, insisted that 2001 be included on this list as a film in need of a remake. “I fucking hate that movie!” he said. “That shit sucks!” Some of you may find that opinion to be blasphemy, but you’d be wrong. He’d be right. And I actually agree with him. 2001 is the Citizen Kane of sci-fi movies… blindly revered as a classic simply because the bible says so. Have you actually sat down to watch either of those films lately? All the way through? Be honest… boring as fuck aren’t they? A remake could add improved effects, but maybe they could also add an interesting story and a zippier pace.

Zapped! – You may not consider this classic Scott Baio/Willie Ames comedy to be science fiction, but the kid is zapped by a science experiment gone awry, and that’s a classic sci-fi premise! Baio and Ames were the Michael Cera/Jonah Hill of their day… and this movie about a horny high-schooler who develops telekinesis and uses it to undress ladies is begging for a remake. Now is a perfect time too because crude comedies are making a comeback thanks to uber-producer Judd Apatow and his merry band of perverted actors.

Agree? Disagree? What films do you think should never get remade? What films actually could stand to be remade? Don’t you wish Heather Thomas used her own boobies instead of a stunt chest at the end of Zapped!?

Punisher: War Zone: 10 Things I Didn’t Like, 5 I Did

Robert Fure — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 03:50:00 +0000

Editor’s Note: As with many of our Ten and Five articles, this article does contain spoilers. Consider yourself warned.

Lately you’ve probably noticed a great deal of activity amongst us Rejects involving the simultaneously anticipated and dreaded release of Punisher: War Zone. In the third attempt at bringing the ultimate bad-ass vigilante to the big screen, a third actor took up the assault rifle, joining the ranks of Dolph Lundgren and Thomas Jane. In this incarnation, Castle is in New York, an ex-Special Forces instructor, punishing those who have done evil in the world. His foes – the deformed Jigsaw and his insane brother, aptly named Looney Bin Jim. What follows is a bloody mess of carnage, but did it impress? From the title, you already know it didn’t.

Ten Things I Didn’t Like

10. Frank Castle, Gymnast. There is no doubt in my mind Frank Castle is a fine human specimen and an athlete. However, The Punisher is not known for running and sliding around on the ground or jumping 20 foot spans to crash through small, boarded up windows.

9. Fake Accents. Listen, the movie is supposed to take place in New York, but if you’ve hired a bunch of non-New Yorkers (and a bunch of Non-Americans, even), please don’t make them try to sound like they’re New York mobsters. They just end up sounding like piss poor cartoon characters.

8. Pittsy is a Pussy. In War Zone, Pittsy is just some old, fat henchmen. In the MAX comics, he is a salty mother who fights the Punisher very hard and takes an unbelievable amount of damage before finally being killed. From hard-ass to lard-ass.

7. Free Runners. Number one, I’m not sure why the Jamaican looking fella was Irish, but Free Running criminals is stupid, I hate it, I loathe it. It was basically in the film for one sight gag, which was worth a chuckle, but not in a good way.

6. Dominic West. This guy is awesome. Lexi Alexander should have pulled him back though, as right from his first appearance on screen he is so far over the top he turns into a caricature. He is to New York mobsters what Mario is to Italians.

5. Campy Humor. There is some humor in the Punisher books, notably the Marvel Knights series (starting with Welcome Back, Frank, which coincidentally inspired much of the 2004 film), but I felt that campy humor doesn’t work well when you’re killing 185 people brutally. Not only was it campy, it was flat out bad. Dash Mihok absolutely nailed Detective Soap, but that sad-sap-loser version of him has no place in a serious Punisher film.

4. Un-Punisher Like Moves. I’ve constantly stressed how the MAX line is the definitive book on The Punisher and that it is so well received because it is realistic. The Punisher would not slide around on the floor. He would not stand menacingly on the dining room table for 15 seconds with a flare. He would not jump onto a chandelier and spin around firing willy-nilly with two automatics. Leave that to Shoot ‘Em Up.

3. Looney Bin Jim. They made this guy up for the movie and he sucks. Terrible accent, over the top acting, and he knows like, crazy wall-flipping kung fu and has an extensive medical background or something.

2. Jigsaw’s Recruitment Drive. Seriously? First some gang-bangers are watching a projected image of the American flag (hoodlums are patriots!) and then Jigsaw delivers his Patton speech (as Editor Neil pointed out) and goes high-stepping around town. What the hell.

1. Uneven Tone. The movie was uneven to me. There was a lot of brutal, bloody violence right out of the pages of MAX and the subtle Punisher of Ray Stevenson. Good stuff. But then switch over to the over the top cheese-fest that is Jigsaw and the villains? For the love of all that is Holy, no thank you. The Punisher is a serious character. It is the hardcore version of Death Wish. A movie like this should have dark humor, not cheese ball moments. A movie about The Punisher should be dark and scary and horrible, for the most part.

Dishonorable Hatred: Micro. I was excited at first, but hearing a grown man called “Micro” seemed very 1980s (Gee, I wonder why?). If they were going to use Micro, I would have preferred seeing him survive this installment and then do his MAX storyline ending which was awesome.

Five Things I Liked

5. Brunette Julie Benz. Julie Benz is everywhere and she is hot all over. I like her with dark hair.

4. The Cinematography. I wasn’t sold on the neon look of the film from the trailers, but on screen the films color choices and tone looked good. It was dark and gritty and ugly, like Castle’s New York should be.

3. The Guns. The Punisher loves guns. He should have a lot of them and he does. I was happy to see an extensive armory. Castle also reloaded a lot, which is realistic, considering most handguns hold 15 or fewer rounds and his assault rifle likely held 30 rounds.

2. Comic References. This is good and bad. By having Pittsy in the movie, they give a shout out to the comic but ruin the character. Most of the other stuff was great though. Bradstreet hotel, after Punisher Cover Artist Tim Bradstreet, the line “Welcome Back” said to Frank, as in the “Welcome Back, Frank” storyline, and all the little nods like that were a nice touch.

1. The Violence. This is a pretty violent film with a good deal of blood and gore, which is exactly what a Punisher movie needs. That half of the film was great. I liked the violence. It was appropriate.

Honorable Like: Ray Stevenson. I wasn’t blown away by Ray and he might not even be my favorite Frank Castle, but if he is excited to continue the character and we can get a good, dark sequel with him starring, I would be very happy.

There it is. My 10 Dislikes and 5 Likes. Now, I’m being hard on this movie because I love The Punisher. I wanted something great. This movie gave me 50% appropriate action violence and 50% utter shit corn ball comedy. That I can not forgive, so it gets 10 dislikes. That isn’t to say I ‘hated’ the movie, that I definitely didn’t love it. I’m going to watch it again and will probably buy it on DVD. I just need Castle and his righteous journey. But this was a pretty weak movie, great for its level of violence, but utterly horrible due to dialog and the cheesy villains. Better luck next time (and I so want there to be a next time).

What did you think of Punisher: War Zone?

The 5 Most Ridiculous Hair Styles of Nicolas Cage

Josh Radde — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 22:29:00 +0000

Do me a favor–take a look at the photo to the right. Just soooooak it in. Enjoy this moment.

In the words of Marv Albert, “YES!” Make your day? Made mine.

The majesty pictured to the right is Nicolas Cage’s new ‘do for his new thriller Season of the Witch. According to USA Today, Cage “plays a knight charged with exiling a sorceress” in the film. The sorceress is played by Claire Foy and Hellboy himself, Ron Perlman, also co-stars. Dominick Sena, who steered Cage through Gone in 60 Seconds, directs.

Take another look at that picture. It’s fantastic. But does it qualify as a Top 5 Most Ridiculous Nicolas Cage Hairdo? Let’s see:

5. Adaptation–Sported a frizzy Jew-fro to make him look like Charlie Kaufman. Awkward for everyone.

4. Con Air–Gritty long hair. Makes him look like the lead singer of some ’90s alt-rock band like Collective Soul or Blind Melon.

3. Peggy Sue Got Married–The Young Elvis look has always suited Cage well. See also: Honeymoon in Vegas

2. Next / Bangkok Dangerous–Two shitty action movies featuring Nicolas Cage sporting some variation of the Tom Hanks look from The Da Vinci Code.

1. Valley Girl–Feathered. ‘Nuff said.

Now if only Cage would play the lead in a biopic about Counting Crows lead singer Adam Duritz, the above list would be rendered moot.

Eight Ghoulishly Great Ghostly Comedies (and Five That Should Have Stayed Dead)

Rob Hunter — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 04:16:26 +0000

Mixing horror and comedy together successfully can be a daunting prospect for a filmmaker. It’s a difficult balance to master between the spooky chills and effects of a horror film and the laughs and light-hearted tone of a comedy. For every Gremlins, Saturday the 14th, or Shaun of the Dead there are ten Dead Heat’s. (Just imagine that for a second… nine sequels to Joe Piscopo’s Dead Heat. That is scary.) Ricky Gervais takes his stab at mixing comedy with ghosts and the afterlife this weekend with Ghost Town, where he stars as a man who dies on the operating table before being brought back to life with a little extra baggage… namely the ability to see and hear ghosts. Here’s hoping he’s following in the tradition of some classic ghostly comedies, and not in the wake of the horrifically bad ones.

Eight Great Ghostly Comedies

8.Casper – Yes, it’s a kid’s movie, and as such it stars Cristina Ricci before she grew up and turned all hot and trampy for Black Snake Moan, but it’s still a fun movie. Great effects and a strong, classic story combine to bring the friendly ghost to life. Seriously, this list isn’t complete without Casper. Or so I’ve been told. Although now that I’m thinking about it, a crossover would be nice… a sexually frustrated and eternally child-like Casper kidnaps a scantily-clad adult Ricci and chains her up in the mansion’s basement where he proceeds to swede himself a copy of The Entity…

7. Topper – Cary Grant was the George Clooney of his day (minus the good will and conscience) meaning he oozed class, charisma, star power, and pheromones. Here he plays one half of a couple who just so happen to be dead. The duo take it upon themselves to help out a living friend and find that it just may be the good deed that gets them into Heaven. Isn’t that a great (if ultimately empty) message?

6. Ghost - Remember when Whoopi Goldberg was more than just an annoying windbag on daytime TV? She doesn’t either. But her Oscar-winning turn as psychic Oda Mae Brown added the comedy into this tale of ghostly revenge, eternal love, and erotic pottery. Jerry Zucker (Airplane!) shows he can turn down the pratfalls and wordplay and play up the action, suspense, and love story at the core of the film. Patrick Swayze and a never-been-hotter Demi Moore co-star.

5. The Frighteners - Peter Jackson’s first foray into Hollywood was a disaster for him, Michael J. Fox, and the studio because it bombed big time at the box office. It’s found revenge on DVD though and more people have had a chance to enjoy Fox’s physical comedy and delivery. As a fake paranormal investigator with real paranormal gifts, he finds himself joking with apparitions one minute and facing down a frightening demon shrouded in black the next. And yes, the reaper does look suspiciously like a Ring Wraith from Jackson’s little Tolkien trilogy. As good as Fox is, the twisted-as-hell comedy gold in this movie is found in Jeffrey Combs’ portrayal of the Hitlerish-looking FBI agent, Milton Dammers. He’s a little out there and over the top, but he plays it just right, and it adds an interesting dynamic to the main plot.

4. House – I won’t deny that this is a cheap-looking movie. But as William Katt trudges through the horrible Vietnam sets, fights rubber-suited monsters in his quest to find his missing son, and warns George Wendt about the giant raccoon in his closet, you also realize the that House has heart and laughs to spare. It’s like a hooker with a heart of gold who’s memorized the stand-up routines of Mitch Hedberg, Steven Wright, and Patton Oswalt. Or something. Point is, it’s an underrated gem of a movie. Just be sure to avoid the lame sequel starring the other bar bum from Cheers, John Ratzenberger.

3. Beetlejuice – The first of Tim Burton’s four great films, Beetlejuice is a madcap romp about an affable dead couple who hire a bio-exorcist to scare away the living folks who’ve moved into their home. Alec Baldwin and Geena Davis are the likable couple and Michael Keaton is the disgusting, foul, mean, and funny as hell poltergeist eager for their business. Burton’s use of miniatures, puppets, and other practical effects is refreshingly old-school in today’s world of CGI. And you can’t help but smile when the shrunken head dude shows up in the waiting room scene.

2. Poltergeist – As scary as this movie is, people often forget it’s also pretty damn funny. Craig T. Nelson has some great lines and the final shot of the motel room’s TV getting wheeled out the door is classic. A family of five drops to four after their youngest gets sucked into the TV set, and only a diminutive Zelda Rubinstein can save her from the white light. JoBeth Williams falling in the muddy pool? Terrifying. Researcher clawing his face off in the mirror? Disgusting. Clown beneath the little boy’s bed? The scariest fucking thing you’ll ever see in a PG movie. Goddamn that clown. Goddamn him.

1. Ghostbusters – This is a no-brainer for the number one spot. Ghosts are plentiful and outnumbered only by the laugh-out-loud quips and conversations. Bill Murray, Dan Akroyd, and Harold Ramis are stellar, and their chemistry as a threesome is unrivaled (although the trio from Wild Things gives some pretty stiff competition.) Murray’s deadpan Dr. Venkman is a particularly sarcastic joy. The keymaster/gatekeeper combination of Rick Moranis and Sigourney Weaver provides some laughs but also some chills, and of course, the Stay Puft Marshmellow Man terrifies beyond the capacity for rational thought.

Five Ghostly Comedies That Forgot to Add the Comedy

5. Ghost Rider - I never said this list could only contain intentional comedies… If you must watch Ghost Rider, and I’m not recommending you do, watch it as a comedy and you won’t feel so bad when it’s over.

4. Ghostbusters 2 – I’ll catch heat for this one, but anyone thinking about resurrecting the franchise for a third film should sit down and watch this stinker a few times. There are some laughs to be found, but it suffers in my mind (possibly unfairly) due to its severe inferiority to the original. The entire team returns from the first, including Weaver and Moranis, but even they can’t help the flat jokes and inane storyline. A river of slime beneath New York City that gains power from all the hatred and bad thoughts above? Some old czar in a haunted painting trying to possess Weaver’s newborn baby? The Titanic? The sloppy shotgun approach just doesn’t work, and an animated Statue of Liberty pales beside the genius terror that is the Stay Puft Marshmellow Man.

3. Over Her Dead Body – Oh, Paul Rudd. Did someone have pictures of you fellating a hamster or urinating on a small boy? Why else would you say ‘yes’ to a movie pairing you with the comedic black hole that is Eva Longoria? There’s not a single funny line in the movie which most likely means Rudd stuck to the script verbatim, collected his paycheck, and went home. He provided more laughs in Halloween: Curse of Michael Myers than he musters here.

2. High Spirits – Is there anyone funnier than Steve Guttenberg? I know, stupid rhetorical question. But the rest of the cast looks so good… Peter O’Toole can be funny, but he’d be the first one to tell you that he’s a whore who accepts any film offer period. Beverly D’Angelo can be funny, but she was in between Vacation movies and needed something to keep her SAG membership current. Liam Neeson, well I don’t know if he can be funny, but he’s usually a lot better than this. Director Neil Jordan can’t be funny (see We’re No Angels for further proof.) Darryl Hannah and Peter Gallagher were a lot more humorous together in Summer Lovers when his eye brows were at their bushiest, and her body was at its nakedest.

1. Ghost Dad – Comedic genius Bill Cosby died during production on The Cosby Show, and he was replaced by the guy who starred in Leonard Part VI, Ghost Dad, and who hates black people. True story.

Ten Overlooked Films That Deserve a Look on DVD

Neil Miller — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 10:00:01 +0000

One of the saddest things about the opportunity that we in the entertainment reporting biz have is that we often see a lot of great movies that get overlooked by the general population. Sometimes it is a movie that we see at Sundance or at the Toronto Film Festival and sometimes it is a limited release that never makes it out of NY or LA, but the story is always the same. Not every little film can be Juno. But thankfully there is always life on DVD, and for the following 10 films, it appears that the time is now (or at least in the next month or so) for you to reach out and discover them for yourself. So with that in mind, here is our list of 10 great overlooked films that deserve a chance to occupy space on your DVD shelf.

Chaos Theory
Ryan Reynolds stars as an obsessively organized efficiency expert whose life unravels when he finds out some potentially dirty little secrets about his marriage. Throwing caution to the wind, he goes on the run to explore the nature of love and forgiveness. This is probably one of the best performances we’ve seen from Ryan Reynolds, who is certainly no slouch. As well, we also get a few great supporting performances from Emily Mortimer and Stuart Townsend. Chaos Theory is one of the intelligently written, well-acted gems of the year — and if you missed it, you should certainly go back and check it out. It’s on DVD now.

Charlie Bartlett
Here we have one of the year’s quirky, misunderstood comedies, something that seems to be a growing trend. It follows the story of Charlie Bartlett, played by Anton Yelchin, a privileged young man who is sent to public high school after being kicked out of private school for various entrepreneurial activities. And in order to fit into his new school, he begins holding psychiatric sessions in the boy’s restroom and selling prescription meds to his classmates. That should probably be a good indicator as to why this film didn’t get much of a marketing push with the drug storyline. Then again, those who have seen the film will note that it is less about drugs and more of a dark comedy about growing up, dealing with life’s challenges and finding your place in the world. And in that way, Charlie Bartlett absolutely shines, mostly on the shoulders of its brilliant star and a great supporting performance from Robert Downey Jr. It’s on DVD now.

My Blueberry Nights
Much was made of Chungking Express director Kar Wai Wong’s My Blueberry Nights when it made its debut at Cannes in 2007, but since then it seems to have slipped out of the spotlight completely. Yet, despite a lack of publicity, it still sports an A-list cast that includes Natalie Portman, Rachel Weisz, David Strathairn, Jude Law and the cinematic debut of singer Norah Jones, along with some vibrant visuals courtesy of Wong’s personal directorial style. And while the story is a bit tedious, the film still clocks in at exactly 90 minutes, making the experience worthwhile overall. So if solid performances and an alluring visual presentation are enough to make you want to plop this in your DVD player, go for it. I know I did. It’s on DVD now.

Meet Bill
Aaron Eckhart’s other 2008 movie, one that many of you will remember as one of the most epic and one of the finest films of the year — you remember, the one with Batman — might go down as his most notable performance, but Meet Bill is certainly his most surprising. A thoroughly enjoyable experience, Meet Bill tells the story of a middle-aged guy stuck in a world where he works under the thumb of his elitist father-in-law, puts up with his cheating wife and sneaks into the candy drawer to constantly fulfill his need for sugar. All of this leads him to his breaking point, one that ultimately forces him to find help from a high school student that he is supposed to be mentoring. Together, they turn both of their lives around. It is one of those simple feel-good stories yes, but it is also one with a lot of character and enough quirkiness to make it feel fresh. Chalk this up as one of 2008’s nice little surprises. It’s on DVD now.

CJ7
It amazes me that the work of Stephen Chow, director of Kung Fu Hustle and Shaolin Soccer, continues to go unnoticed by so many people. Chow’s knack for silly, but infinitely creative comedy is unbelievable. And with CJ7, he takes his brand of humor and adds a very heartwarming family element. The story focuses on a poor young boy (played by 11-year old girl Jiao Xu) who comes across an alien toy that could change life for him and his father. It is almost literally the Chinese version of E.T., but a little more fun. Chow delivers a great performance as the father, a poor laborer whose strict nature puts distance between him and his son. It is sad, really, that this film didn’t get more than its limited release, as it was quite a lot of fun. It’s on DVD now.

Smart People
One of many Sundance films that will probably be on the “You missed it, now go buy it on DVD” list by the end of the year, Smart People is one of the most intelligently written and sharpest comedies of the year. It combines biting humor about a family in the intellectual community with some truly special performances from Juno’s Ellen Page and Sideways’ Thomas Hayden Church. Their storyline alone makes this film worth a look — and it’s just a sub story to the main plot line of a college professor, played by Dennis Quaid, who is not quite over the death of his wife, finding it hard to socialize with the average Joes on campus. Heartwarming and whip smart, Smart People is definitely one of my clear Sundance favorites. It’s on DVD now.

Son of Rambow
Son of Rambow is probably the film on this list that got the most attention, yet that still wasn’t enough. From the British duo who brought us The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, it tells the story of two young boys in the early 80s from very different backgrounds who find friendship in the production of their own independent homage to the classic action flick First Blood. Mixing observations about religious extremism with the charming tale of friendship that overcomes all odds, this film absolutely shines. As well, it includes performances from young Bill Millner and Will Poulter that will blow you away. Hands down, this is easily one of the best film’s I’ve seen in all of 2008. It’s on DVD now exclusively at Best Buy.

The Promotion
When you think of Seann William Scott, you probably think of one character: Stiffler. Having seen The Promotion though, I can attest to the fact that there is a lot more to Scott than the one-note Steve Stiffler delivered in the American Pie series. In fact, Scott displays great comedic range alongside one of Hollywood’s best, John C. Reilly, and holds his own quite nicely. The Promotion pits them against each other as two assistant managers in a grocery store chain both fighting to become the general manager of a new store. As you can imagine, their rivalry creates a lot of funny situations, but it isn’t the slap-sticky or stupid humor that we’ve seen in movies like Employee of the Month. It has a very authentic and subversive tone to it. Calling it a dark comedy might be stretching it, but calling it a very successfully constructed comedy certainly isn’t. It’s on DVD on September 2.

Pathology
If you remember back to April when Pathology went into limited release, you will remember that I openly stated that it wasn’t my cup of tea. In fact, it really seemed to fall flat on its promise of an intense story about a pathologist, played by Milo Ventimiglia, who gets caught up in a nasty, terrifying game to see who can come up with the perfect murder. The only thing I did seem to like about it was a wickedly fun, deviously driven performance from “Six Feet Under” star Michael Weston. But despite my own personal opinions about the flick, I am still holding onto the theory that there is an audience out there who will openly embrace it — the same sort of audience who beat down the cineplex doors to see a new Saw movie every year. And on DVD, where this particular audience spends a lot of its time, I think Pathology could do very well. It’s on DVD on September 23.

War, Inc.
Here is another film that falls into the same category as the aforementioned Pathology — no, it isn’t a cut-em-up thriller from the guys who wrote Crank — it’s just another smaller film that might be worth a second look. It was a little too politically charged and outwardly unusual for my taste at first, but it did deliver some solid performances from the likes of John Cusack and Marisa Tomei, as well as a few shots of Hilary Duff slutting it up, sticking a scorpion down her pants — you know, the usual. It’s a rather unique experience that is certainly worth a rental, if not the risk of a purchase. It will be on DVD on October 14.

So there you have it – ten great films that are either already out or are coming soon to DVD shelves near you, all of which are very worthy of your attention. The only question that remains is whether or not you will go out and see them. As well, I am curious to see if there are any other films out there that you’d recommend along these lines. Feel free to share those in the Sound Off section below.

The 12 Most Rockin’ Rock Star Cameos That Rocked

Josh Radde — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 18:23:26 +0000

The Rocker starring Rainn Wilson opened in theaters Wednesday. We decided this warranted a list, but instead of just hashing out a list about 10 movies about rockers that rocked, we wanted to give you ten rockers who rocked in movies that may or may not have even been about rocking. And not only that, throw on top everyone talking about Tom Cruise’s memorable cameo this past week in Tropic Thunder, and we can spice this list up with rocker cameos that rocked.

Once you’ve digested all the “rock” in that previous paragraph we can move on.

So. I think we have to go over some ground rules here. We are weighing these cameos based on 3 different criteria that they have to meet.

1. The size of the rocker – The bigger the star, the more impressive the cameo.

2. Influence on the movie - Did the cameo come at a crucial time in the story where the rock star’s appearance added meaning to the moment?

3. Impact on the audience – Was the rocker given something to do? Were they funny, thought-provoking, or scary? Or were they just thrown in front of the camera?

So, now that you know the rules, here’s 10 Rockstar Cameos That ROCKED!

12. Bruce Springsteen, High Fidelity – The Boss belongs here because at one point in the film he gives John Cusack’s Rob the idea to get in touch with the girls on his All-Time Top 5 Break-up list. Not only this, but he comes off being as cool in this scene as you can imagine the Jersey man to be.

11. Jack White, Walk Hard – I had considered putting Jack White’s appearance in Cold Mountain on this list, but realized that’s more of a proper role than a cameo. Then I remembered that White’s appearance in last year’s Walk Hard was one of the only interesting parts in the entire film. Sure, he doesn’t look a great deal like Elvis Presley, but that doesn’t stop you from enjoying his short bit in the film. “Only two kinds of people know kar-a-tay: The Chinese and The King. And one of ‘ems me.”

10. Blink 182, American Pie - Blink was pretty big in ‘98 and ‘99. Their video for “What’s My Age Again” had them running around naked, so naturally a cameo in a teen-based sex comedy was right up their alley. Consider also that the song “Mutt” plays right before the band’s cameo in the film, and the stars aligned for some screen time for the faux-punk trio.

9. Keith Richards, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End – I have to give it up to Keith Richards who was maybe the only thing I found amusing in PotC 3. The 3rd installment of the series saw Johnny Depp’s Jack Sparrow wearing out his welcome, Keira Knightley and Orlando Bloom continuing their reign of overacting, and a nearly 3-hour runtime. Richards comes in, gun blazing, as Sparrow’s father. Though you would think his appearance would be more comedic (it’s actually quite “dramatic”), it’s still good-ol’ crater-faced Keith.

8. Matt Damon, Eurotrip – Alright, Damon doesn’t rock in real life, but he rocks in this cameo. Damon, a king of cameos with classics in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, Finding Forrester, and Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, appears as the tattooed and pierced lead singer of a band who performs “Scotty Doesn’t Know” in the film’s opening act. He also gets to stick his tongue down Kristin Kreuk’s throat. I don’t know who Damon knew on the set of Eurotrip, but someone called in a favor to get Damon on-board. That favor may or may not have involved Kristin Kreuk’s throat.

7. David Bowie, Zoolander – Who better to judge an intense walk-off between Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson than ultra-hip and glamorous David Bowie? The scene, which also features “cool dude” Billy Zane in a funny cameo is one of the film’s more memorable. Stiller is always able to bring out the celebrities to his films, like the aforementioned Tom Cruise. Sugar Ray frontman Mark McGrath appears in Zoolander and so does Lance Bass who appeared in Tropic Thunder, too.

6. Alice Cooper, Wayne’s World – Cooper’s appearance in Wayne’s World comes at a point when the devious Rob Lowe gives Wayne and Garth backstage passes to Cooper’s show so that he can mack on Tia Carerre and her talents. At the show (in glorious Milwaukee), we get a memorable cameo from Chris Farley which is overshadowed moments later by the wise and insightful Cooper, decked out in leather and black eye make-up. Cooper drops some Native American knowledge on the boys prompting them to respond “we are not worthy.”

5. Billy Idol, The Wedding Singer – Perhaps the cameo that inspired this list, the amazing appearance of Idol in the climactic airplane scene in The Wedding Singer. Although it’s Adam Sandler’s surprisingly touching song that carries the emotional weight of the scene, it’s Billy Idol that gets to carry the comedy. The way he looks at the woman who asks “What’s the mile-high club?” is priceless. Plus, add on the fact that it’s a 43 year-old Billy Idol playing a 29 year-old Billy Idol in the film, and it becomes much more impressive.

4. Alanis Morrisette, Dogma – For Heaven’s sake, she plays God in Dogma, I think that warrants her a spot on this list. She, like Idol, comes in at the climax of the film and restores peace in the world and even impregnates a chick. That’s a lot to do in a little amount of time.

3..2..1. Dave Grohl and Meat Loaf and Dio, Tenacious D: The Pick of Destiny – Meat Loaf plays a major part early as Jable’s disapproving, rock-and-roll hating father. Grohl plays Beelzeboss aka the Devil, reprising his demonic role from the “Tribute” music video, who challenges Jack and Kyle to a rock-off at the end of the film. So while Meat Loaf’s cameo introduces the character’s backstory, Grohl gets to close the story off as the nemesis which the D has to thwart. With heavy rock artillery. Dio is just being Dio – enough said.

Honorable Mentions: Tom Petty’s out-of-place and smiley cameo in The Postman; Dee Snider’s brief appearance on the hood of a car in Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure; Chris Martin in Shaun of the Dead (there’s actually a lot more of him in a deleted scene); Ringo Starr in Water.

So, like always, enjoy the list and let us know what we may have forgotten. Also keep in mind that this is for “rock star” cameos. There have been tons of rappers, pop stars, country artists, folk musicians, and other musical celebrities who have appeared in movies, but that’s a different list for a different day.

Tropic Thunder: 10 Things I Liked, 5 I Didn’t

Robert Fure — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 16:38:08 +0000

After battling controversy and The Dark Knight, Ben Stiller’s Tropic Thunder managed to shoot its way to the top of the box office this weekend. If you worked your way into the theaters, you probably found a lot to laugh about and very nearly pissed your pants suit. But the column says I didn’t like 5 things about this movie, so lets get down to it.

**SPOILERS**

10 Things I Liked

10. The Soundtrack. There are very few movies I’ll watch and immediately think “Man, I want this soundtrack,” but Tropic Thunder is one of them. There are some great songs in this movie.

9. Booty Sweat. Not just a funny commercial at the beginning of the trailer, I actually drank some Booty Juice, which is on sale now, and it tastes good. Way better than that horse piss Red Bull.

8. Tropic Thunder. The movie within a movie looked like it would have been an awesome war movie. Sign me up.

7. Cinematography. The movie looked great thanks to Academy Award winner John Toll, but really the seriousness with which this satire was approached with made it a great experience.

6. Danny McBride. This guy was fucking hilarious and had some of the best lines of this very quotable movie.

5. The Action. Forget that this was a comedy for a second, the action scenes were amped up. Give Ben Stiller a job directing a real war movie, the gunfights were sick.

4. Screw Hollywood. Hollywood was due for a good ribbing and this movie hit all the points you want to see, from douche agents and producers to bitchy and ridiculous actors, they all got what they deserved.

3. The Supporting Cast. Matthew McConaughey, Tom Cruise, Mother Fucking Nick Nolte, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Steve Coogan. What more do you want? Lance Bass? You got him. Great cameos, great cast.

2. Tom Cruise Busts a Move. I loved Tom Cruise’s appearance. His moves were tight, the character costuming was awesome. I love this guy!

1. Robert Downey Jr. Was there ever any doubt? He really knocks it out of the ballpark and proves that he’s hilarious. RDJ is on top of the world and Tropic Thunder is him planting his comedy flag. Ton of quotable lines make this an easy number one. I’m a lead farmer, mother fucker!

5 Things I Didn’t

5. Not Enough Coogan. Coogan is comedy gold. I wished I could have had a few more minutes with him.

4. Mumbling. I’m going to have to watch this film again to catch all the dialog. Between Downey and McBride, I feel like I missed a lot of funny lines. Diction, baby, diction!

3. Pacing. A few scenes felt like they went just a little too long. Perhaps the long leash of Stiller’s directing style let a tad too much improv push some scenes long.

2. Jack Black Lacks. Jack Black is a funny mother. In this film, I feel like he really wasn’t given anything to do for the first 90 minutes. At the end he really knocked out a lot of funny moments, some of the best of the film, but he was definitely under utilized through most of the film.

1. No Ladies. Honestly, I didn’t even notice until after the film, but there really aren’t any women in here. It doesn’t distract from the movie and it’s negative only in the fact that I love looking at hot women and I didn’t get any.

There you go. I really enjoyed Tropic Thunder and if you haven’t seen it, you should take a look. The negatives aren’t only negative and it’s really just a fun flick that’ll keep you laughing literally from start to finish. This movie, ironically, more than any other recently (since at least Iron Man), reminded me that movies are fucking awesome. Hell, I’d see Rain of Madness in theaters!

De Niro vs. Pacino: Their Ten Most Badass Performances

Neil Miller — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 20:58:15 +0000

Around here, we are all for just about anything that involves flying bullets, a foxy lady and some witty, mean-spirited dialog. What can we say, most of our staff is plagued by repressed adolescent male fantasies of grandure — we never got a chance to be a badass, so we choose to watch them on screen.

Two of the ultimate on-screen badasses have always been Robert De Niro and Al Pacino. From De Niro’s work in Taxi Driver to Pacino’s iconic title role in Scarface and beyond, these two men have always been at the forefront of what it means to be a badass with a gun. And with their upcoming film Righteous Kill, they are teaming together to play two tough NYC cops after a vicious serial killer. And in honor of that team-up, we’ve put together a very special feature: De Niro vs. Pacino: Their Ten Most Badass Performances. Have a look at that by clicking below.

Click here to read De Niro vs. Pacino: Their Ten Most Badass Performances

Also, for more Righteous Kill goodness, check out our special feature by clicking on the banner below:

Ten Great Films that Capture the Olympic Spirit

Neil Miller — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 22:26:43 +0000

If there is one thing we like to do, it is jump all over the pride-in-country bandwagon every chance we get. That is why we take time away from barbecues and family gatherings to write all sorts of clever lists for every single Holiday. Even more enjoyable is taking the Olympic Games, both summer and winter, and exploiting them as an opportunity to share some of our favorite films. This time around, in honor of the XXIX Olympiad in Beijing, China, we have assembled a list of Ten Films that Capture the Olympic Spirit. These are ten films that we like to dust off every two years ago to get us all revved up and ready to cheer on our respective countries.

Until they make Water Albatross: The Michael Phelps Story, these will serve as our favorites:

D2: The Mighty Ducks
Sure, it took place at the Junior Goodwill Games, but what more inspirational story is there than a junior hockey team, fresh off a successful triumph in the pee-wee ranks, going on to represent the U.S. of A with good ole Gordon Bombay at the helm. Of all the stories in the Mighty Ducks franchise, this is the one that shook my world as a child, giving me the competitive spirit and national pride to finally fight back against that Canadian kid who bullied me all through grade school. How about a trip to the nurses office, eh?

Without Limits
This is the first, but not likely the last, movie about famed runner Steve Prefontaine that will make this list. The runner’s life, one cut short by a car accident at the age of 24, is probably one of the most interesting and heartbreaking Olympic stories of the modern era. In this 1998 film, actor Billy Crudup plays Steve Prefontaine, with Donald Sutherland taking on the roll of famous coach Bill Bowerman. Not the best movie about Prefontaine, but one worth watching nonetheless.

Running Brave
Here is an Olympic story that I have just recently discovered, but it is certainly one that has intrigued me. Running Brave tells the story of Billy Mills, an American Indian man who came from obscurity to win the 10,000 meter long distance foot race at the Tokyo Olympics in 1964. To this day, he is the only American to ever win gold in that particular event, a feat which some have called one of the greatest upsets in Olympic history.

The Jesse Owens Story
Nothing says underdog story like the tale of the great Jesse Owens. How could we even dream of leaving a film about his life off of our list? And even though writer Mike Jefferies is currently working on a script for a new Jesse Owens biopic for 2009, with Anthony Mackie in the title role, this 1984 TV movie that starred Dorian Harewood still holds the torch as the best tale of Owens’ life. On top of that, it also co-starred LeVar Burton. Yes, that LeVar Burton.

Chariots of Fire
Instead of writing a description for Chariots of Fire, which is by any measure a fantastic film about the British runners who would go on to compete in the 1924 Summer Olympic Games in Paris, I would just like to submit the audio clip below. If this doesn’t get you ready to watch the Olympics, I don’t know what will:

http://media.filmschoolrejects.com/audio/chariots-of-fire.mp3

Peaceful Warrior
So far on the list we’ve had plenty of Track and Field, as well as some Hockey mixed in, but this is our first chance to talk gymnastics. It would seem a little odd that this film, which starred Nick Nolte as a stranger who meets and mentors a college gymnast, would be marked mostly by the fact that it was directed by convicted child molester Victor Salva, because it wasn’t a half-bad flick. It was a solid story of redemption, based on a far superior work of autobiographical fiction by author Dan Millman.

The Cutting Edge
From a movie directed by a kid-toucher to a movie, on skates, which touches me every time. D.B. Sweeney — wait a moment, what ever happened to D.B. Sweeney, anyway? — stars as a hockey player who gets his bell rung during the 1988 Olympics who meets up with Moira Kelly, who plays a figure skater who is down on their luck. Together, they fight to get their Olympic dreams back and ultimately find some love along the way. Yes, I am currently tearing up.

Cool Runnings
Ah, how we all miss John Candy. In one of his more entertaining roles, Candy played Irv Blitzer, a shady bobsled coach who is cast out of his home country and sent to sulk and drink away his life. That is, until he encounters a group of Jamaican men who will do anything to realize their Olympic dreams, even if that means doing it as a bobsled team. Based on the true story of the first Jamaican team and home of the most awesome character ever (Sanka Coffie), Cool Runnings is one of those must-watch Olympic movies.

Prefontaine
Here is number two of our two-part homage to the movies about the life of runner Steve Prefontaine. This one sports a more obvious title than the aforementioned film that starred Billy Crudup, and is generally regarded as the lesser of the two, but it is worth watching either way. In this film, which was released in 1997, Jared Leto plays the young Oregonian runner and R. Lee Ermey plays coach Bill Bowerman.

Miracle
By far my all-time favorite inspirational, or otherwise Olympic related film, Miracle still gives me goosebumps as it nears its thrilling climax. We all know what happens, the 1980 U.S. Men’s Olympic Hockey team defeats the Russians, thereby kicking communism square in the testicles and striking a blow that would be felt the world over. Yet, despite this obvious climax, the thrill has never ceased, not on viewing number one and not on viewing number one hundred. Great performances, great sequences of hockey action and all of the drama you can squeeze out of an already epic situation — this is one for the books.

So there you have it. If you are sitting on your couch watching Michael Phelps try and break the record set by Mark Spitz or watching the American women’s gymnastics team try and tumble their way past China this week and you feel like you need a little extra inspiration, these ten films should do the trick quite nicely.

What are your favorite movies that capture the Olympic spirit?

Prepare Yourself for Fall with 20 Essential TV DVD Sets

Brian C. Gibson — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 19:38:02 +0000

So it is now August, and depending on your situation that could mean something ominous, like going back to school, or something joyous, like the return of all your favorite television series. Since we here at FSR are too cool for school, we are getting our wallets ready for TV on DVD month. So we put our heads together and assembled the essential DVD sets to prepare you for the fall. As well, this should serve as a precursor to our official Fall TV Preview, which will hit the pages of this very site later this month.

“Mad Men” – Season 1
Available: Now

The Golden Globe-winning series for Best TV Drama and actor recently kicked off its second season to much fan fare. Cut from the same fiber as “The Sopranos,” but set in a different era, “Mad Men” has become a near cult sensation. If you haven’t yet discovered it, now is the time — get caught up on season 1 so that you can get in on all of the season 2 action.

“Weeds” – Season 3
Available: Now

It was unexpected to see Mary-Louise Parker take on the role of a pot-dealing soccer mom whose life of crime brings an upscale California community to its knees, but probably even more unexpected that it would turn out to be such an amazing dark comedy. But once you get your first hit of “Weeds,” you’ll be screaming “More MILF weed please, Ms. Nancy.” And in season 3, the game got turned up a notch, getting sexier, more dangerous and infinitely more fun.

“The Wire” – Season 5
Available: August 12, 2008

For years now, people all over have been telling me that “The Wire” is one of the best damn shows on television. And while I am not yet ready to go back and revisit the previous 4 seasons just yet, I am inclined to believe them. As with all the seasons of the show, the fifth and final season had a very clearly defined theme: the media and media consumption. Needless to say, everyone around here is at least mildly interested in that.

“Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles” – Season 1
Available: August 19, 2008

Summer Glau and Lena Headey make this a much watch. I never realized how gorgeous Glau was, until I saw her in person. I, like many others, was confused as to where this show sat with the Terminator mythos, but it has turned out to be a decent appetizer for more big screen Terminator action to come. Looks like I will be one of those picking this one up.

“Heroes” – Season 2
Available: August 26, 2008

Though it was hindered a bit by the WGA strike earlier this year, the second season of “Heroes” didn’t disappoint one bit. In fact, it pulled out all the stops and delivered surprise upon surprise all the way to the epic final moment, a moment that perfectly sets up season 3, entitled “Heroes: Villains.” As you can imagine, the highly anticipated third round is going to be loaded with some intense stand-offs and unexpected alliances. And if you were one of those folks who got lost in the strike shuffle last year, this is one box set that is required before moving on to season 3.

“Dexter” – Season 2
Available: August 19, 2008

I would easily call “Dexter” one of the most pleasant surprises on television. Since the series is on Showtime, it doesn’t receive a lot of exposure. It should, or darkly dreaming Dexter will have to pay you a visit. Once I heard the premise that it is basically like CSI except that the expert is a serial killer, I was hooked. With a tag line like “Takes life. Seriously”, it’s no wonder that Michael C. Hall is America’s favorite serial killer.

“House, M.D.” – Season 4
Available: August 19, 2004

The mad doctor is back. House is a series that I have watched since the first season, but I have kind of ignored it as of late. Just seems as if it has lost something. I will still be picking the set up, and I’m sure all of you hardcore House fans will be picking it up too.

“Chuck” – Season 1
Available: September 16, 2008

This was one of the better surprises of network television. While the show is not perfect or amazing by any means, it is really funny. It is especially funny for anyone who has or is working in retail. This is just a fun show that takes a normal guy, and puts him into extraordinary situations.

“Get Smart” – Season 1
Available: Now

Since the film Get Smart enjoyed moderate box office success this summer, is it any wonder that the TV series would make its way into stores soon after? The show is a classic, and not much more can be said. It is a TV show created by Mel Brooks. I mean to put that into today’s perspective, that is like Judd Apatow creating a show or two for TV…wait, never mind.

“John Adams”
Available: Now

I could be cynical for a moment and call this just a history lesson for the illiterate or ignorant, but I won’t. Most period pieces are littered with historical errors, a consequence of dramatic storytelling. John Adams though, is one of the best historical, and most entertaining, programs about the birth of our nation that I have ever seen.

“The Office” – Season 4
Available: September 2, 2008

Personally, when it comes to the earlier episodes, I liked the BBC version of the show better. However, the comic genius of Steve Carell has kept this show afloat. The show is still as funny as ever, and I will be buying it pretty much just because of the ‘Fun Run’ episode.

“Prison Break” – Season 3
Available: August 12, 2008

So I never understood how this show could go past one season, much like “24.” Considering the two shows come from the same network, I’m sure that there was a brainstorming session on how to do exactly that. I stopped watching after season one, but I hear the following seasons are actually pretty good. Maybe I should revisit the series?

“Grey’s Anatomy” – Season 4
Available: September 9, 2008

I won’t lie, I was convinced by a girlfriend to give this show a chance. It was good. Then everyone became bigger than the show. Katherine Heigl has a nice little career going for her, but she turned down an Emmy thinking that she was Marlon Brando or something. The off screen drama like the Isaiah Washington debacle and Kate Walsh’s spin-off where she just becomes a slut doctor, have just become distractions. They will kill Heigl off, and the show will tank.

“Smallville” – Season 7
Available: September 9, 2008

This is one of those shows that have kind of lost steam over the years, but how many shows last more than five seasons nowadays? I will keep watching, simply to know how they tie the show’s ending into a Superman type beginning. As well, there are a few nice young ladies named Kristen Kreuk, Erica Durance and Allison Mack who always seem to have me interested for one reason or another.

“South Park” – Season 11
Available: August 12, 2008

Can you believe that “Southpark” is on season eleven? I would have never thought it could make it that far. I still remember Comedy Central advertising the first episode which contained an F-Bomb. Season eleven is solid as a rock with episodes like the 300 parody, the poke at Guitar Hero, Imaginationland, Cartman Sucks and Le Petit Tourette.

“Entourage” – Season 4
Available: August 26, 2008

This is one of my favorite shows, and it hasn’t lost any steam over the course of 4 years. Considering that I follow film, actors and Hollywood, this show is a pleasant break from reality. I’d like to say that I hang out with celebrities all the time, and share experiences like those in the show…but sadly I don’t. However, sometimes you get to gang out with the right celebrities and you take part in moments that are even unbelievable for television.

“Spaced”
Available: Now

I guess that if you would like to see the origins of the men behind Shaun of The Dead and Hot Fuzz (Edgar Wright, Simon Pegg and Nick Frost), go no further. This is one of the most highly rated shows to come from across the pond in a long time. Unless you are one of those “Doctor Who” fans. This show is truly hilarious, and totally justifies the money we spent adding BBC America to our cable bill.

“Gossip Girl” – Season 1
Available: August 19, 2009

“Gossip Girl” came out of nowhere and took everyone by surprise. Who could have guessed that a formula that included having beautiful, wealthy teenagers get into a lot of sexy dramatics would work? Of course the premise is a no-brainer, but the writing makes the series stand out as more than the average underaged soap. Plus, their new marketing campaign already has us salivating for season 2.

“Kenny Vs. Spenny” – Volume 1 / “Kenny Vs. Spenny” – Season 4 (For Canadians and true fans)
Available: August 12, 2008

I remember when I first caught this show on The Game Show Network at like 3am. I loved it, and tried to convince my friends likewise. It seemed like none of my friends could get into it, much like most of GSN’s viewers, so the show was canceled on American networks and I was forced to buy the DVD sets from Amazon Canada. Then Comedy Central picked the show up, and season four was born, sort of. The reason that they call this “volume one” is because the season aired in America contained some really old episodes. So if you are a true fan such as myself, or a Canadian, go to Amazon.Ca and buy season four.

“Eureka” – Season 2
Available: Now

Last but certainly not least is season 2 of one of the more provocative and ambitious shows on television. In a perfect little burg known as Eureka, where some of the world’s greatest minds live and work at Global Dynamics, the world’s most advanced scientific facility, strange things seem to be happening. In season two, these strange things include people randomly combusting, becoming invisible and simply disappearing. How cool is that? Needless to say, if you haven’t discovered this little Sci-Fi Channel gem, you might want to pick up both season 1 and 2.

Film School Rejects » Lists

The Kings Of Squirm Inducing Comedy

5. Damon Beesley and Iain Morris – The Inbetweeners, Flight of the Conchords

4. Seth MacFarlane – Family Guy, American Dad, The Cleveland Show

3. Larry David – Curb Your Enthusiasm, Seinfeld

2. Ricky Gervais – The Office, Extras

1. Sacha Baron Cohen – Borat, Ali G, Bruno

Related Reading:

10 Most Awesome Movie Explosions Of All Time Ever

10. Live Free or Die Hard

9. Chain Reaction

8. Stealth

7. Spaceballs

6. The Rocketeer

5. The Rock

4. The Dark Knight

3. Commando

2. Independence Day

1. V For Vendetta

Related Reading:

A Very Uncool EW Ranks Top 20 Coolest Heroes In Pop Culture

Related Reading:

Discuss: EW’s Ranking Of The 50 Greatest Active Directors

Related Reading:

Ten Great Sci-Fi Stories That Deserve to Be Films

Related Reading:

10 Sci-Fi Films That Should Never Be Remade, and 5 That Probably Should Be

Related Reading:

Punisher: War Zone: 10 Things I Didn’t Like, 5 I Did

Ten Things I Didn’t Like

Five Things I Liked

Related Reading:

The 5 Most Ridiculous Hair Styles of Nicolas Cage

Related Reading:

Eight Ghoulishly Great Ghostly Comedies (and Five That Should Have Stayed Dead)

Eight Great Ghostly Comedies

Five Ghostly Comedies That Forgot to Add the Comedy

Related Reading:

Ten Overlooked Films That Deserve a Look on DVD

Related Reading:

The 12 Most Rockin’ Rock Star Cameos That Rocked

Related Reading:

Tropic Thunder: 10 Things I Liked, 5 I Didn’t

10 Things I Liked

5 Things I Didn’t

Related Reading:

De Niro vs. Pacino: Their Ten Most Badass Performances

Related Reading:

Ten Great Films that Capture the Olympic Spirit

Related Reading:

Prepare Yourself for Fall with 20 Essential TV DVD Sets

Related Reading: