If Hellboy put a personal ad in the paper, it might read something like this…

SRM seeks companion. Must love cats, cigars and candy bars. Enjoys old movies and kicking ass. Won’t do dishes. Demonic lineage okay. Must not be evil.

A scant few comic book heroes would have as interesting an ad, and that’s why we love Hellboy. He’s one of the most idiosyncratic comic book heroes out there. Mike Mignola, who based the character partly on his father, describes Hellboy thusly: “a blue-collar guy – a plumber or an electrician – who comes in with a box of tools and says, ‘Where is the leak?’ and goes at fixing the leak.”

Producer Mike Richardson concurs: “He’s a blue-collar hero who just wants to be one of us.”

And perhaps that’s why we relate to him so well. He’s just a regular guy with a whole lot of badass inside. And here are some of our favorite Hellboy quirks that help make him human…

THE CATS
There is no other comic-book-superhero-turned-movie-hero has such an affinity for fuzzy friends. Not even the Batman has such love for his namesake. But Hellboy… the dude just loves cats. With his comic book mother being a witch and his demonic appearance, he has found a special kinship in his feline pals. And they seem to like him too, so he’s gotta be allergic.

THE HORNS
As a product of a darker world, Hellboy’s demonic appearance is fully realized when his horns grow out completely. (And we get a glimpse of this in both films.) He files them down to appear more human. Still, we don’t know if it’s doing the trick, considering the bright red skin and the tail don’t quite look normal.

THE BIG GUNS
The Doom video game may have the BFG, but in the new film, Hellboy has the Big Baby. His oversized pistol from the comics is called “The Samaritan” in the first film. His new gun not only fires huge, flare-sized bullets loaded with everything from holy water to garlic, but it’s also frickin’ huge. I’m going to call it the BMFG.

THE RIGHT HAND OF DOOM
It’s as much a physical signature of Hellboy as the horns and the fiery red skin. His big, stone hand is great in a fight. It’s also the focus of multiple stories in the Hellboy universe. Formerly the right hand of one of the greater spirits watching over Earth, it was also used to create a dragon. In both the comics and the first film, Hellboy’s hand is meant to bring about Armageddon. In a way, Hellboy is the protector of this tool, preventing it from falling into the wrong “hands,” if you’ll pardon the pun.

FIREPROOF
In the new film, we get confirmation that Hellboy has a heart (similar to how we got proof that Iron Man’s Tony Stark has one as well). But is he really fireproof? He says so in the first film (to Sammael: “I’m fireproof. You’re not.”). However, from the comics, he’s vulnerable… just incredibly resilient like the Hulk or Wolverine.

ALL THE TVs
Well, in the films, Hellboy is sequestered to his room in the Bureau of Paranormal Research and Defense. What else is there to do but watch television. He’s got a bank of them, from all the ages, and it keeps him entertained. And, the new film is filled with monsters and happens to be produced by Universal, the home of the Hollywood monster. Look for cameo clips from the classic Universal monster movies, including The Bride of Frankenstein and The Wolfman.

THE SMELL
It’s said that Hellboy smells of dry-roasted peanuts, but we’ll never know for sure until the studios bring Odorama back to the theaters.

One of the films that I just won’t shut up about from this year’s Sundance Film Festival is director Jonathan Levine’s sophomore effort The Wackness, the story of a recent high school grad named Luke Shapiro, played by Josh Peck, and his drug-dealing, love-struck summer of 1994.

Set in New York City and complimented by a soundtrack that features sounds that will take you back to the hayday of hip-hop, The Wackness is probably one of the quintessential summer comedies, one of the best films that you will see that doesn’t include a superhero. As I said in my review from Sundance, The Wackness is a dark comedy filled with “sex, drugs and rap music,” and not to mention a stellar round of performances from Josh Peck, Juno’s Olivia Thirlby and Sir Ben Kingsley. It is one of those flicks that will really help complete this summer of blockbusters by delivering an experience best served with a reclining chair and a cold glass of lemonade — spiked with rum, of course.

To help prove my point, here is a little video clip of the film’s opening sequence:

If that isn’t enough to get you interested, I would suggest that you revisit the recently released red band trailer or the Tale of the Trailers article that I wrote, which features multiple green band clips. Hell, I don’t know what else to say about this film other than the fact that you should see it. It appeared on my 15 Must See Movies of Summer 2008 list and took home both the Sundance Audience Award and most recently the Audience Award at the Los Angeles Film Festival. I also ranked it #2 on my list of the Ten Best Films of Sundance 2008. Seriously, what more do I have to say. Oh yeah, this is the movie in which Ben Kingsley makes out with Mary-Kate Olsen, for the record.

Alright, how about a release schedule. The Wackness started its release on July 3 by opening in New York and Los Angeles — it will roll out to the following cities across the United States on the following dates:

July 3rd:
New York
Los Angeles

July 11th:
San Francisco
Washington DC
Philadelphia
Boston
San Diego
Chicago
Seattle

July 18th:
Dallas
Minneapolis
Phoenix
Portland

July 25th:
Houston
Austin
Denver
Atlanta
Providence
Raleigh / Durham / Chapel Hill
Charlotte
Cleveland
San Antonio
Albuquerque
Santa Fe
Detroit
Ann Arbor
Miami / Ft. Lauderdale / West Palm
Kansas City
Honolulu
Mau
Milwaukee
Madison
Salt Lake City
Sacramento
Fresno
Monterey
Reno
Eugene
Salem
Tacoma
Olympia
Bellingham
Anchorage
St. Louis
Baltimore
Annapolis
Richmond

So who appeared on the cover of Maxim this past April (when I wasn’t paying attention, apparently)? None other than Gillian Anderson, best known for her role as FBI Agent Dana Scully on the cult hit television series the X-Files. As a kid, I was an avid X-Files fan (I actually still have some of the episodes I bought on VHS back when it wasn’t all that cool to buy TV shows on, ahem, tape), and I remember buying an issue of TV Guide that featured a photo shoot of Anderson. To this day, I remember the hairpin curls in her short, glossy red hair and the revealing satin dress she wore in the issue’s centerfold.

Back then, Gillian Anderson (despite the awful pantsuits she had to wear on the show in the 90′s) was to me the pinnacle of female beauty. Now that I’m a bit older, I still enjoy the occasional late-night X-Files episode featured on the Sci-Fi channel or FX, but for some reason it wasn’t until I saw the April Maxim cover shoot that I remembered what an impression Anderson made on me (I have a sneaking suspicion that she’s the reason I continue to dye my auburn hair bright red).

The good news? Well, there’s actually a lot of good news concerning Gillian. First, the long-awaited (well, it’s been long-awaited by loyal fans, anyway.. you know, those of us who still like the show, even though we recognize that it jumped the fucking shark in season eight… and nine…) announcement that the second X-Files film will finally be released (the date is set for July 25, 2008, which means I have to find someone else willing to go see this movie with me, and fast) heralds the possibility of finally seeing what fans have waited years for: some hot Mulder-Scully action. Breaking of the ever-heightening sexual tension that existed between the show’s two main characters. In other words… sex. Personally, I have high hopes, despite what those bastards at Zimbio reported last year.

Anyway, back to the good news. As Anderson’s Maxim shoot amply proves, the 40-year-old actress is still really hot. I mean, maybe I’m partial to redheads (Rose McGowan was one for a while, wasn’t she? And Gwenyth Paltrow has never looked as gorgeous as she does in her recent role as Pepper Pots in Iron Man… in which she happens to be a redhead…), or maybe it’s nostalgia, but come on… If I look as good as Gillian when I’m 30, I’ll be ecstatic, nevermind when I’m 40 and have already had kids.

And if that wasn’t enough, not only do we have the new trailer for The X-Files: I Want to Believe, but we’ve just found out that Gillian Anderson is pregnant!! But more on that in a second, here is the trailer:

See the trailer in High Definition over on Yahoo

Anderson, who has a 13-year-old daughter named Piper from her marriage to Clyde Klotz (assistant art director on the X-Files from 1993-1994… and thank God she didn’t take his name, right?), is now expecting her third child. Anderson and boyfriend/director Mark Griffiths (National Lampoon’s Going the Distance, 2004; Behind Enemy Lines, 1998) already have a 20-month old son, Oscar.

Gillian’s pregnancy is ironic following her confessions about feeling “too old” during the filming of I Want to Believe. For more information on the X-Files movie, Gillian Anderson’s sexy new photos, Anderson’s recent X-Files interviews, or her pregnancy, check out the following links:

For more photos from the April Maxim shoot, visit Popoholic. For Anderson’s recent comments about filming The X-Files: I Want to Believe (2008), visit TVGuide. For additional recent photos of Anderson (again, looking amazing), visit Popoholic.

And a little aside on this last article: f**k you, dude who wrote this. It’s far from surprising that Gillian Anderson is hot. You just never noticed before, that’s all. Ass.

All the rest of this week, I will be unleashing the fury of the Panda on your collective behinds, as we lead up to the release of the year’s first big animated release, Paramount’s Kung Fu Panda. In fact, stay tuned, as we’ve got all kinds of videos, images and maybe even an awesome Panda-sized giveaway for you later this week.

Having seen the movie this past weekend, I will say that Kung Fu Panda is going to, as Jack Black would say, “Blow your mind.” And though my review won’t be online until tomorrow, I will throw out a few spoilers: I have used phrases such as “Best of…” and “Pixar good…” Hopefully that helps you understand why I am so excited about this film.

Anyway, lets get to this preview, eh? First up is a familiar tune that goes with any Kung-Fu-y scenario: the classic “Kung Fu Fighting”. Originally made popular by Carl Douglas, the song has been covered for this film by CeeLo and Jack Black. Check it out below:

Kung Fu Panda is in both standard and IMAX theaters this Friday.

“It’s got a good director, Peter Segal. Wonderful director. The writers were great. The producers were young and aggressive and smart.” If you were wondering what Get Smart co-creator and all-around legend Mel Brooks thought of the people behind the upcoming big screen adaptation, there you have it. Brooks sat down earlier this week with Patrick Day from the LA Times to talk about life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, but the conversation quickly turned to this latest incarnation of Get Smart. As well, as these things always do, it would all ultimately lead back to talking about Spaceballs.

But even though, as Brooks explained, everyone always wants to talk about Spaceballs, the talk of the town these days should be Steve Carell in the role of Maxwell Smart. “…the brilliance is Steve Carell,” he said in the interview. “To choose a guy who’s right in the Don Adams groove. You couldn’t get a better guy than Steve Carell. And yet he doesn’t do Don Adams. He does none of his delivery. He just does Steve Carell.”

This non-Don Adams impersonation that Carell has brought to the table for Get Smart has been an interesting sticking point for many fans. In fact, readers of this site have already begun to look negatively toward this adaptation, saying that it does not feel the same as it did with the 1960s television show that starred Don Adams. In reality, this new version of “Get Smart” is just that — a new version of “Get Smart”. In this new version, filmmaker Peter Segal sought to pay homage to the classic Brooks show, but do it in a way that is new, modern and features, as Brooks describes, Steve Carell doing Steve Carell. And for fans of Carell (I’m looking at you, “Office” fans), this is by no means a bad thing.

In the interview, Brooks ventured off into talking about his son Max, whose “Zombie Survival Guide” has become a great success, as well as what it was like to be a comedy writer back in the 50s. But as they always do, the interview did swing over to talking about Spaceballs a bit, giving Brooks an opportunity to remind us of the Spaceballs animated show that is due out on G4 in the fall. As for Get Smart, it hits theaters on June 20th.

Read the entire interview with Mel Brooks here: LA Times: Q&A with Mel Brooks

Yes, you read that right. We’ve got a lot to talk about this week when it comes to the upcoming Universal actioner Wanted, which stars Angelina Jolie, James McAvoy and Morgan Freeman. And while this movie may not be at the top of my summer list, a list that is about as crowded as they come, I am beginning to get more and more excited as time passes. One particular reason is this first clip, a behind the scenes featurette posted by Empire a few days back. It features Mark Millar, the man responsible for the film’s source material (the “Wanted” graphic novel, for those who are wondering) and director Tim Bekmambetov talking about bringing the film’s highly stylized world to life. Take a look for yourself below:

As you can see from the film, Mark Millar seems to be very pleased with the faithfulness of the adaptation by Bekmambetow and the screenwriting team of Michael Brandt, Derek Haas and Chris Morgan. For any graphic novel/comic book adaptation, this is always a good start. As well, for me the film seems to be channeling the best parts of The Matrix without being too goofy and over the top. As you will see in the clip, which can be viewed here, the action is quite fast and really slick.

And finally, what would a big summer movie be without some viral marketing, right? A new website for the Fraternity of Weavers has shown up online in the past week or so, which is the cover organization in the film. This organization is the one that recruits James McAvoy’s character Wesley to become an “unparalleled enforcer of justice.” Now, why can’t I get a title like that?

Oddly enough, I may be able to — as the Fraternity of Weavers seems to now be stalking me. A mysterious package showed up at FSR HQ the other day that included a few sewing kits and some barcode tattoos. Does this mean that I am to be recruited? Does it also mean that Angelina Jolie is going to come scoop me up in a Dodge Viper? If so, where do I sign and is there any way to expedite this process? I am ready to go right now.

For more story details on Wanted, check out the official plot synopsis below. The film hits theaters on June 27th.

Wanted tells the tale of one apathetic nobody’s transformation into an unparalleled enforcer of justice. In 2008, the world will be introduced to a hero for a new generation: Wesley Gibson. 25-year-old Wes was the most disaffected, cube-dwelling drone the planet had ever known. His boss chewed him out hourly, his girlfriend ignored him routinely and his life plodded on interminably. Everyone was certain this disengaged slacker would amount to nothing. There was little else for Wes to do but wile away the days and die in his slow, clock-punching rut. Until he met a woman named Fox. After his estranged father is murdered, the deadly sexy Fox recruits him into the Fraternity, a secret society that trains Wes to avenge his father’s death by unlocking his dormant powers. As she teaches him how to develop lightning-quick reflexes and phenomenal agility, Wes discovers this team lives by an ancient, unbreakable code: carry out the death orders given by fate itself. With wickedly brilliant tutor – including the fraternity’s enigmatic leader, Sloan – Wes grows to enjoy all the strength he ever wanted. But slowly, he begins to realize there is more to his dangerous associates than meets the eye. And as he wavers between newfound heroism and vengeance, Wes will come to learn what no one can ever teach him: he alone controls his destiny.

Let’s face it, we might like him better when he’s angry. And by he, I am obviously referring to The Incredible Hulk, the big green Edward Norton-lookin’ dude who is going to make his subtly triumphant return to the big screen on June 13th. It is a return that has, up until very recently, come with very little publicity, as director Louis Leterrier’s film has had to live in the shadow of Jon Favreau’s Iron Man.

But at this point it is Iron Man that should be giving us hope for The Incredible Hulk, as it proved Marvel’s competence as a studio. Should Hulk follow suit and surprise us all, it will only enhance the excitement around upcoming projects like Thor and The First Avenger: Captain America. For now, all the legions of Marvel fans can do is sit back, fingers crossed, and wait until June 13th. Oh, and they can enjoy this new trailer, which is running in theaters this week in front of Speed Racer (which no one saw, so its probably new to most people):

The Incredible Hulk is directed by Louis Leterrier, who previously brought us the Transporter series. It was written by X-Men scribe Zak Penn with help from star Edward Norton. Liv Tyler, Tim Roth and William Hurt also star. Look for it in theaters on June 13th.

After the debacle that was Speed Racer’s opening weekend, it appears that Warner Brothers may be ready to kick marketing for The Dark Knight into high gear. Either that, or it is complete coincidence that two brand new, intense TV spots for the film have emerged. Coincidence or not, it is undeniable at this point that The Dark Knight is going to become Warners’ great white hope for Summer 2008. While they will still collect the checks on Sex and the City, Get Smart and Star Wars: The Clone Wars, there was no denying that their one-two punch was supposed to be Speed Racer and The Dark Knight. Now, only The Dark Knight stands a chance at major box office success. My best guess at this point is that it will not be a disappointment, either to fans or WB investors.

But enough business talk, lets take a look at these two new TV spots:

The Dark Knight hits theaters on July 18th.

Sound Off: What do you think of these two new TV spots?

Is it just me, or are there a lot of long looks happening in these new photos from The Incredible Hulk? In fact, it may just be me, but I get the feeling that there is a lot of dramatic tone to the marketing campaign for this big budget action movie. I know that I am probably wrong, but it feels like this film might come out to be a little darker then we expect. And like Iron Man, it will include a lot more character development. It is as if Marvel has found their niche making intelligent, well developed superhero movies. Then again, it’s all just speculation at this point. We will all see what happens on June 13th when The Incredible Hulk hits theaters. For now, all we have are these ten new images, courtesy of Hoy Cinema (via Latino Review). Click to enlarge:

Sound Off: What do you think of The Incredible Hulk?

It seems that fortune smiles on every single part of The Dark Knight available so far. From treasure hunts for trailers to memorabilia, fans just can’t get enough of the Caped Crusader. Though poor old Batman isn’t really the focus of obsessive affection, is he? Instead, the watchful eye of fandom has swung its gaze upon the Joker, and it just can’t get enough. Literally.

Over in New York city, there just wasn’t enough of the Joker to go around, as the plastic model of everyone’s favorite clown sold out in minutes city-wide. FAO Schwartz, Toys “R” Us, according to the New York Post, they’ve all been emptied of the newly ultra-rare $9.99 collectible, and one employee is quoted as saying “There are none left in the warehouse, either. You will be waiting a while if you want one.” Instead, fans may be forced to spend ridiculous amounts online in order to secure Ledger’s action figure, and the NYP has heard of one auction where the Joker was sold for $55 as part of double deal with Batman. Of course, store managers live to paint a brighter picture, and were quick to remind people of the fact that there will in fact be more shipments of the crazy clown coming in, so don’t worry too much just yet, there is hope.

There is of course, some part of me that wonders how much of this craze would have happened had Ledger not died tragically earlier in the year. Of course there was a huge wave of Joker madness, but would action figures have been sold out in mere minutes, if the role wasn’t his last? One man was seen buying 30 of the figure, 30! He must be pretty sure of their collectibility, and with people like him around to buy up stock, isn’t it guaranteed? Would he and his pals have had the same game plan if Ledger was still alive and well, with The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus in post production and another role lined up?

As we launch into the summer movie season, the internet is abuzz with anticipation for movies like The Dark Knight and Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. But even as Iron Man is cracking $100 million in its first few days out, we are reminded of other movies that fill the movie houses along with the hits.

For every Iron Man, there is a Made of Honor. And this summer is going to be filled with crap as much as it will be filled with awesomeness. So, in an effort to protect the moviegoing public, here’s my cautionary list of eight summer movies that are sure to suck ass (in chronological order).

Flame on!

Postal (May 23)

Why it will suck: Come on, people! It’s Uwe Boll. He may think this film will be a work of genius, but it is clearly the oppo-site! Does anyone think it’s going to be even watchable. Sure, the trailers look like this film might be the exception to the Boll Rule, but I wouldn’t start laying down the Vegas odds on this one.

Who will cause the suckage: Uwe Boll… he has the Roto-Rooter touch.

The Foot Fist Way (May 30)

Why it will suck: Okay, the redband trailer was decent enough, for the language shock value. But outside of a semi-funny Hot Rod rip-off premise (with the rustic sidekick Danny McBride instead of the funnier Andy Samberg), does anyone think this film will be able to sustain itself past the first ten minutes? I know our illustrious Executive Editor Neil Miller declared this to be one of the must-see movies this summer, but I have to disagree with him. Maybe… maybe on video. And even then, it would take some convincing.

Who will cause the suckage: Danny McBride… he’s funny in supporting roles, but I shudder at the thought of him headlining a film.

You Don’t Mess With The Zohan (June 6)

Why it will suck: After seeing the trailers for this movie, I truly believe that the only good thing to come from this will be a Who’s That Hottie feature on Emmanuelle Chriqui. Otherwise, it’s Adam Sandler at his unfunny worst. While director Dennis Dugan’s had some decent (emphasis on decent; not great) comedies with The Benchwarmers and I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, he also has crap like National Security and Saving Silverman to his credit. And considering that Judd Apatow’s recent disappointments in Walk Hard and Drillbit Taylor prove he’s not bulletproof, this film could be a real stinker.

Who will cause the suckage: Adam Sandler… he sucks in any movie where he talks funny.

Kung Fu Panda (June 6)

Why it will suck: Sometimes DreamWorks animation gives us quality films, like the original Shrek. Other times, we get crap, like Shark Tale. Take the Jack Black formula from Shark Tale and make him an ass-kicking panda, and you’ll probably get more crap. Oh, the kids will flock to this one, and it will make tons of cash, but the movie is going to be bad beyond belief.

Who will cause the suckage: Jack Black… do you think he might scat in this film?

The Love Guru (June 20)

Why it will suck: For every possible reason under the sun. Mike Myers is struggling to get another now that Austin Powers has run its course. But this feels like a bad SNL sketch forced into a feature-length film. I don’t care about the Hindi protests to this movie. The trailers scare me enough. Still, at least he’s not doing a Scottish accent this time.

Who will cause the suckage: Mike Myers… think The Cat in the Hat tries to do Austin Powers.

Hancock (July 2)

Why it will suck: Here’s where I’m really going out on a limb because Hollywood and some hype-meisters are pushing the idea that this will be a huge summer movie. Sure, it’s got Will Smith in it, and he hasn’t made a flop for years. But does anyone remember Wild Wild West? While some folks like director Peter Berg, I’ve never found his stories that well constructed or his characters all that great. I just get a queasy feeling when watching the trailers to this movie… like something bad is going to happen.

Who will cause the suckage: Peter Berg… hold the camera still for once, chump!

Meet Dave (July 11)

Why it will suck: How could it not? It’s Eddie Murphy colossally unfunny follow-up to Norbit. There’s a huge Pluto Nash stench surrounding this movie, and the trailer (which is always supposed to show the funniest moments) is about as clever and humorous as a kidney stone attack. The scariest thing about this movie is that because Norbit did well, I’m sure this one will bank, and we’re probably looking at another Academy Award nomination. Ugh. I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

Who will cause the suckage: Eddie Murphy…. and Eddie Murphy… and Eddie Murphy… need we say more?

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (August 1)

Why it will suck: You might say that as the follow-up to relatively lame The Scorpion King, this third installment of the Mummy series is treading on dangerous ground. Then, you have to notice the August release date, which usually means the film isn’t good enough to go against the good stuff in the summer. Then you have to recognize that Brendan Fraiser’s other film (Journey to the Center of the Earth) at least has a cool gimmick.

Who will cause the suckage: Brendan Fraiser… he’s really trying to save his career, isn’t he.

Yes, I sensationalized the title a bit, so sue me! You can keep your Iron Man, throw away all that hype about The Dark Knight and forget Speed Racer, that’s for sure. The public has spoken and according to AOL Moviefone’s Summer Movie Poll, what the public wants this summer is sex, and they want it bad.

That’s right, contrary to popular belief, despite all the commentators naming Indy, Batman or any other blockbuster as the most wanted, this poll says different. In a poll of almost 420,000 voters, the people are most excited to see the return of Carrie Bradshaw and her gal pals, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda, in the oh-so-creatively titled Sex and the City, the Movie, which opens on May 30th in the US.

However, be of good cheer, there is some sanity left in the world as S&tC only beat out Indiana Jones 4 by a single percentage point, 32% to 31%. More good news for Indiana came in the form of Ford’s victory as male star people are most eager to see. He even beat out Heath Ledger, who only came in second! According to Scott Robson, the editor-in-chief at AOL Moviefone, it appears that Ledger’s tragic death earlier this year means that some movie-goers would probably have a heightened interest in The Dark Knight, out of curiosity.

On the female side, Sex’s Carrie Bradshaw won the star spot, putting Angelina Jolie in second place for her action packed performance in the bullet-bending Wanted. However, lamenting down in the bottom section of the poll, poor Speed Racer ended with a mere 2% of the most interested votes, with even worse news of it topping the “most likely to disappoint” poll. So it seems that what’s really wanted this summer is sex, with a little adventure thrown in on the side.

Oh, and a Gucci fedora.

Welcome to a Special Edition of The Reject Report as we preview the coming Summer Blockbuster Season! Yes, your crack team of prognosticators (consisting entirely of myself) has been crunching the numbers and trying to make sense of what everyone is saying out there about what the box office is going to be for the latest movies.

Believe me, this is a rough task. There is literally an endless number of movies being rolled out this summer, and not all of them can finish Number One or even finish in the Top Ten. There are also always some “wild-card” entries that nobody expects to be a hit, which will end up raking in the dough. This is where it gets tricky for me. I am fairly confident about what are going to be the top six movies, but picking the last four on the top ten list is a real mugs game.

So what I am going to do is start at the top and work my way down the top ten, because quite frankly there is much more suspense and drama surrounding the bottom of the top ten than the top of the list. Besides, we all know who’s going to finish on top of the box office this summer. Harrison Ford.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is a no-brain choice to finish first at the box office this summer season. The only question in my mind is whether the flick, which also features Cate Blanchett and Shia LeBeouf, will set any records for the summer. My guess is probably not, but who knows. A lot of people are not predicting big, record-threatening performances at the box office this summer like what we saw last year, but I do predict Indiana Jones to get somewhere in the neighbourhood of $350 million gross.

The next question is who will be the runner up this summer. I think the battle here is between The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian and The Dark Knight. Caspian is of course the sequel to the hugely successful first Chronicles of Narnia movie, and the movie is guaranteed to appeal to a young demographic.

I also expect a big box office following for The Dark Knight, but everyone thinks the freak-show factor is going to kick in with everyone flocking to this movie just to see the late Heath Ledger. I dunno. My guess is it will be a close race but I think Prince Caspian will have a slight edge over Batman, edging it out for second spot with $320 million. The Dark Knight should pull in $315 million.

Next, I have to go with the folks at PIXAR who have been seemingly incapable of producing either (a) bad movies, or (b) flop movies. So I feel pretty confident about picking WALL-E for fourth spot, with a gross of about $280 million. The story about the lovable last robot on earth is due out June 27.

Next I have to give fifth spot to the movie Hancock. The reasons are pretty obvious. This is a Will Smith movie about a homeless superhero, and Will Smith is usually pretty big at the box office, and superheroes are also usually pretty big. But also — this movie is rolling out on the July 4 holiday and I cannot ignore any movie that rolls out on that date. So I have to give Hancock fifth spot with a gross at around $270 mil.

That leaves sixth spot to Iron Man, the Robert Downey Jr.-starring vehicle featuring the most underrated of Marvel superheroes, Iron Man. By the end of the summer, he may end up the coolest of Marvel superheroes. Everyone thinks this is going to be huge, and I think this is going to be huge. I was debating whether or not to move this one ahead of Hancock into fifth. But no. Sixth is where it will stay at $265 million.

So those are the top six movies, and now the fun really begins for me, because it’s really hard to predict what the final four movies on this list are going to be. The problem is that there are a lot of movies out there that ought to do really well but which have no buzz going for it, or bad buzz going against it — such as The Incredible Hulk. By all rights that movie ought to be a Top Ten list movie, but I have heard nothing but hand-wringing from movie geeks and fanboys out there about this movie.

So here is where the wild-card factor comes in for me. I am going to predict Kung Fu Panda to take seventh spot. There is always a movie that surprises at the box office and does big business, and I predict this will be it. Jack Black lends his voice to Kung Fu Panda, and from what I gather this is going to be one heck of a movie that people will be raving about. So I am selecting Kung Fu Panda seventh at $225 million, and The Incredible Hulk eighth at $200 million.

In ninth spot at $185 million I pick The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor. I have no real reason for picking it to finish ninth. It just seems to have more legs to it than some of the other movies out there.

And that leaves Pineapple Express to be yet another wild-card pick of mine to round out the Top Ten at $170 million. The reason is obvious: it’s Judd Apatow, it’s Seth Rogen, it’s James Franco, and it’s summer. I saw the trailer and this movie looks like this year’s Superbad.

So that is the way I see the Top Ten going this summer — and now the controversy really begins, because there are quite a few highly-touted movies that are not on this list. I’m sure all of you are going “what, no Speed Racer?” Well, the reason I have left it off this list is because I have heard that the testing for this movie is TERRIBLE. And I don’t get it, because it looks like a pretty cool movie to my eyes. Maybe I’m the type of person who goes for Saturday morning cartoons, or movies about cartoons. But I cannot ignore what I hear about the testing, so while Speed Racer may end up doing decent business, a blockbuster it is not likely to be. But of course, I could be wrong. Speed Racer just seems like a big question mark to me. It could be a massive hit or a total flop, and I wouldn’t be shocked either way.

I also have similar questions about Get Smart. I have heard all kinds of stories that the script is no good, that it’s not funny, etcetera, etcetera, and that the script doctors had to be flown in to save the movie. It sure doesn’t seem to me as if retreaded television shows are likely to be a box-office winner. We’ve seen what happened with The Dukes of Hazzard and all these other summer flicks based on TV shows. I do think Sex and the City: The Movie will do good business. But top ten for the summer? I dunno. It just seems to me that girls don’t go to the movies in droves during the summer season — and that one looks like a chick flick all the way.

I think the bottom line when it comes to the summer is to expect the unexpected. There are always one or two movies that will shock the experts and do well against all odds, and capture the public’s imagination. Often it’s not the highly-touted movies that everyone expects.

So that is my Reject Report Summer blockbuster preview, and keep it right here as we track all these movies and see how they do all summer long.

Every year we go through it: What are your most anticipated movies of summer? Which movies will make the most money? What will be the biggest flop? I can’t even begin to think of the infinite variations that we’ve seen of the pre-Summer movie lists. So this year, we are going to do something a little different, but not too far off the beaten path. We’ve set out to give you a guidebook to Summer Movie Season 2008: The 15 Movies that you should not miss, no matter what.

In order to accomplish this task, I have sifted through the entire slate of summer movies, separating the must-sees from the negotiables. And sure, I was careful not to miss the fedora-wearing geriatrics, the playboy billionaires moonlighting as caped crusaders and shell-headed superheros, and the two federal agents who want, more than anything, to believe. But alongside the obvious choices, I’ve snuck in a few flicks that you might not have had on your list. But you should have them on your list, because whether they are a festival darling or just under the radar, they should absolutely be part of your summer moviegoing agenda. With that said, these are our 15 Must See Movies of Summer 2008, in chronological order.

Iron Man (May 2)
Here comes obvious choice #1, the film that will get it all started. Last year Spider-Man 3 set box office records and disappointed crowds all at the same time. This year, I believe quite the opposite is in store for Iron Man — it may not break records (thanks to the most competitive month of May we have ever seen), but it certainly won’t be disappointing any crowds. Yes, ole shell-head is going to rock thanks to the directorial brilliance of Jon Favreau and the near perfect casting of Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark. Welcome to the big show, Mr. Downey Jr., you are the gatekeeper to one of the best summer movie seasons in recent history.

Speed Racer (May 9)
The Wachowski Brothers’ trippy anime-infused children’s movie has probably been one of the most talked about flicks of summer, right up there with that Dark Knight fellow and the old man (see below), but it hasn’t necessarily all been good talk. It has taken serious flack based on its cartoonish nature and its lackluster leading man (lets face it, Emile Hirsch is not that exciting). But we must face facts, in the end — The Wachowskis know how to kick action into high gear. And whether we are ready to admit it yet or not, we are all secretly hoping that this movie kicks some serious ass.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (May 22)
What can I say that hasn’t already been said about Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull? George Lucas and Steven Spielberg are giving fans of the series what they have been yearning for for almost two full decades by bringing back an aging Harrison Ford and combining him with the new hotness, also known as Shia LaBeouf. The only thing that could go awry is if new audiences can’t get on board with the old school look and feel of Spielberg’s flick — but I seriously doubt that will happen. I mean, it’s Indiana Jones for cryin’ out loud.

The Foot Fist Way (May 30)
Here is your first head-turner of this list, a little comedy that seems to be making a lot of underground noise. While Adam McKay and Will Ferrell will come together again later in the summer to bring us Step Brothers, it appears that their endorsement of The Foot Fist Way may be a more significant move this summer. It stars Hot Rod and Drillbit Taylor‘s Danny McBride as a tae kwon do instructor who is more than losing his way, he is going off the deep end. This one looks hilarious, and mark my words, it could very well turn out to be the surprise of the summer — assuming it doesn’t get completely buried by Sex and the City.

Get Smart (June 20)
Here is another fact for you: Steve Carell seems to be having relatively good luck at the box office lately. Last summer he starred in Evan Almighty, which despite being a pile of bricks still grossed over $100 million. This year sees him team up with Anne Hathaway, a rockin’ supporting cast and the director of Tommy Boy to bring back a 60s cult classic in Get Smart. I don’t like to make wild and crazy predictions, but for this film I will make an exception: I say that it will be funny and it will make a lot of money at the box office. Is that wild enough for you?

Wall-E (June 27)
Oddly enough, Wall-E is probably the only film on this list that I would not only label as a “Must See”, but also as an Oscar contender. It might be a stretch, considering the fact that it is still April and we have all kinds of time between now and February 2009, but Wall-E is one of those special kinds of movies that could very easily capture the hearts and minds of children and adults alike — which is a more colorful way of saying that it is a film made by Pixar. Yes, there no denying the fact that the fine folks at Pixar can do no wrong — at least not yet — and despite early reservations, I don’t see them starting a trend of failure with this film.

The Wackness (July 3)
This choice should come as no surprise to anyone who is a consistent reader here at FSR, as The Wackness still sits atop my list of favorites of 2008 thus far. I first found it when it made its world premiere at the Sundance Film Festival in January and have since been able to scratch and claw my way into seeing it 3 more times. And for someone with a short attention span and a lot of movies to see every year, that is saying a lot. Writer/Director Jon Levine has created a dark, rich comedy that is going to be tough to market, so I am going to put this as simply as I possibly can: go see The Wackness, you won’t be disappointed.

Hellboy II: The Golden Army (July 11)
After a trip to festival darling land, it is back to the big-budget superhero epics that may just define this summer. This film, however, is less of an epic and more of a unique artistic endeavor from one of the most brilliant directors on the face of the planet, Mr. Guillermo Del Toro. The first Hellboy found its audience mostly on DVD after a good but not great theatrical fun, but this second go-round is so highly anticipated, you can cut the tension with a hot butter knife. Bad analogy? Sure. Bad movie? Absolutely not. Del Toro is stepping things up a notch to bring us deeper into the world of Hellboy and show us more of the things that go bump in the night. Hopefully it will lead this film to go bump at the box office, as well.

The Dark Knight (July 18)
What would a summer movie list of any nature be without a mention of The Dark Knight? It would be sad, pathetic and wrong, that’s what it would be. Even if we take away all the brilliant viral marketing that has been unleashed for this film, we still have one of the most highly anticipated events of summer — and rightfully so. Christopher Nolan and star Christian Bale brought the Batman franchise back to prominence in 2005 with Batman Begins, putting us all on a path to forgetting about nippled Batsuits and The Freezinator, and The Dark Knight should be the film that finally puts the nail in the coffin. The late Heath Ledger looks dazzling as The Joker, Aaron Eckhart is a great fit for Harvey Dent and Christian Bale… Well, he’s Christian Bale, what more can I say?

American Teen (July 25)
I knew going into this list that I must restrain my inner yearning to put 5 documentaries on this list, considering the fact that there have been so many great ones thus far between Sundance and SXSW, but I knew that no one would like it if I took it too far. Therefore, I have saved the lone doc spot on the must-see list for the absolute best documentary of 2008: Nanette Burstein’s American Teen. Like The Wackness, this is a movie that I have fought to see multiple times already this year. It is a very special cross-breed between social commentary and production value, enough to keep the MTV generation engaged and everyone else informed. Having grown up in the midwest, where the film is set, I found it highly relatable, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it reaches a much wider audience in the end.

The X-Files: I Want to Believe (July 25)
The truth is out there, Mulder and Scully are back and they want us to believe it. In all reality, the truth is that this release has a previously dormant fanbase, thanks to a long hiatus, salivating at the very thought of another film. No one even realized that this one was going to be so big until WonderCon earlier this year in San Francisco, but when the X-Files panel filled up quicker than Lindsay Lohan’s bar tab, everyone just sort of knew that this was going to be something special. Now, for some reason we just can’t stop talking about it — and I have a feeling that it is only going to get worse (or better, depending on your angle) as the summer rolls on.

Pineapple Express (August 8)
I’ve seen some people who have said that stoner movies are making a comeback this year, but after the mediocre performance of the Harold and Kumar sequel, I’m not so sure. One stoner flick that will go over well is the David Gordon Green directed, Seth Rogen penned, Judd Apatow produced stoner action comedy Pineapple Express. We dropped the leaked redband trailer on you back in February and you ate it up. The film combines the indie feel of David Gordon Green with the ridiculously out-there, yet surprisingly intelligent comedy of Seth Rogen and his Superbad writing partner Evan Goldberg. Plus, you can’t deny that Gary Cole as the bad guy doesn’t make you want to see this film — there is no way around it.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars (August 15)
I must admit that I am still not 100% tuned into this animated incarnation of the Star Wars saga, but even that can’t cloud my judgement enough for me to leave it off this list. George Lucas and the team at LucasArts are claiming that even though they are re-telling the story of the Clone Wars, a story for which there was an entire live-action movie, we will still see something that is not only new and fresh, but will also cause our collective consciousness to explode. Now, I don’t know about any exploding consciousnesses, but I do know a few Star Wars junkies who are rabidly anticipating this flick and the television series that will follow it. That is enough evidence, for me at least, to put it on this list. It all goes back to a commonly held theory: If it’s Star Wars, you should see it. Even if it isn’t that good, you still don’t want to be that guy who missed it, do you?

Tropic Thunder (August 15)
It wasn’t enough for Robert Downey Jr. to star in the first big summer movie of the year, he must also star in one of the last. This time around though, he won’t be wearing any metal suits and duking it out with tanks — he will, however, be painting his skin black and singing the theme song from The Jeffersons. Confused? You shouldn’t be. With the directorial sure-handedness of Ben Stiller and a comedic all-star team cast, Tropic Thunder may not have even needed Downey Jr. to go “blackface” in order to be successful. Then again, the right amount of shock value is always needed if a comedy is really going to make a splash — and this one looks like it could be more along the lines of a tidal wave than a splash.

Hamlet 2 (August 22)
My magic summer movie 8-ball tells me that the summer of 2008 will end with rock, but not just any brand of rock: “Rock Me Sexy Jesus” type rock. For those who have not yet been properly introduced to the comedic brilliance that is Steve Coogan, just you wait. This guy is the real deal when it comes to delivering ridiculous laughs. In this one, Coogan plays a high school drama teacher who is forced to write a sequel to Hamlet in order to save his school’s drama program. The play includes a time machine, the President kissing Satan and a closing song called “Rock Me Sexy Jesus”. Oh yeah, you just read that. It is going to happen. And there is nothing you can do to stop it.

So there you have it, the first big crazy Film School Rejects list of Summer. There will be more, there is no doubt about that. In fact, if there is any one thing that you will be guaranteed by reading this site, it is that you will be treated to some of the best lists of any movie site on the web. With that said, I am proud to be the one who has the honor of getting this year’s summer movie season started. We’ve got a great year ahead of us, including a jam-packed movie release schedule and big plans for this year’s San Diego Comic Con. The cool part is that all of you get to come along with us, so please enjoy the ride.

Sound Off: What are your must see movies of summer 2008?