Film School Rejects » STFU

STFU: It’s Time to Get Hard on Sexism in Film

Adam Sweeney — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 20:54:30 +0000

In Kevin’s latest WTF we were informed, gasp, that a straight man is tired of seeing male nudity on-screen. It’s time to make like Paris Hilton, my boy, and suck it up.

What we are looking at here is a classic double standard. Since the beginning of film women have been subjected to “the male gaze”, an idea that the lens takes the point of view of a male. The male dominated film industry has had no problem showing women as they parade in the nude. Men everywhere were downright giddy whenever they heard Megan Fox, who you reference, was going to be nude in Diablo Cody’s upcoming Jennifer’s Body. Now substitute Justin Long for Megan. You’re not so excited anymore, right? I hate to crush your D-cup filled dreams but you’re going to have to get used to it. As more women move up the ladder, finally, in the film ranks we are more likely to see a balance on the scales of sexual nudity.

And we are not even close to it being even. You can’t honestly talk about the realm of equality with a straight face, right? You point out four films this year that show the Full Monty (which ironically enough didn’t even show it themselves), those being Sex and the City, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay, and Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story. How many films do you think contain female nudity? I’ll help you out there. Enough to make a list of the top 20 Best Nude Scenes of 2007, as Cinematical chose to do. Now here’s the real shocker: no man made the top twenty. You can pick your jaw up off the floor now.

Male nudity, much more so than the typical exploitation of a female, often has a sense of art to it. Watch The Dreamers and you will understand what I am talking about. I shudder at the thought of you walking by Michelangelo’s David. “ooh, his wee wee is showing,” you might say. Would the statue be nearly as revered if Michael had a fig leaf or a speedo on? Artistic license shouldn’t be compromised because you’re tired of it. No director is going to stop showing male nudity just because you waited to shower until all the other boys left the locker room after gym class. It doesn’t work that way.

When the film chooses to go the other route, using a penis shot for comedic purposes, it is often at the expense of men who aren’t comfortable to deal with “some guy’s want on a screen 20 feet tall”, as you so eloquently put it. The joke literally is on you. Or maybe we are dealing with a typical symptom of penis envy. Be honest, Kevin, we could only dream of having our members 20 feet tall on-screen. Jason Segel, who I find neither hot nor creepy, deserves a high five for having the guts to put his body out there. And you know who else deserves applause? The thousands of women in the film industry who have shown their assets at the expense of a male feeding frenzy.

What’s more astounding is how easily you assume that you speak for the female audience. ” Even the woman (because they’re all lumped into one voice, apparently) have to agree this is a bit much,” you say? Well, no, they really don’t have to agree. I am sure that there are quite a few females out there that feel a little penis action in film every once in a while as actually liberating. For them it might be refreshing to know that the meat market doesn’t just sell breasts and rump roast. And there is one more market that you forgot to consider, the gay male. I know, can you believe it, some men don’t like boobies! Just because the American government isn’t willing to give them equal rights doesn’t mean we should be so ignorant as to not consider their opinions. That leads me to my next point.

Were you wearing “Homophobia for men” when you wrote this article? The whole thing reeks of it, a sad site considering most of your writing is balanced and caters to all audiences. I know you’re not homophobic so why fall in line with those who are? How would you have reacted to Brokeback Mountain if Heath Ledger had truly shown his desire for Jake Gyllenhaal? Judging from your argument, not too well. But I bet you’d have no problem watching Philip Seymour Hoffman get his jollies off with Marisa Tomei in Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead. And have you seen ANY porn before? There’s more penises flying through the air than at a Queer as Folk casting call. But I guess it’s okay so long as a woman is there to be objectified.

What you’re seeing on-screen with male nudity is no different than anything you don’t see every morning when you take a shower. If you’re tired of it then consider how most women feel when they have to see the latest college co-ed strip because she accidentally spilt mustard on her cheerleading outfit in American Pie 47. It’s time to turn the tables on sexism, Kevin. We live in a country that is quickly progressing, as displayed by the race and sex of our Presidential and Vice-Presidential candidates, and there is no reason to feel that shouldn’t be shown in film, even if it is something as trivial as a penis on-screen. You can always take the advice we offered to people offended by Tropic Thunder, a film most of the Rejects loved, in that if you don’t like it then turn it off. Or for God’s sake turn your head. There is no way any male full-frontal scene will last longer than a minute anyway, not in American cinema. If that doesn’t work for you then maybe we need to go Clockwork Orange on you and keep your eyes open as you watch Ewan McGregor drops his pants over and over, as he is known to do. Not to be a dick, but maybe it’s time to put on your Members Only jacket and Shut The Fleshy Winnebago Up.

STFU: Do Not Fear the Recent Outbreak of Beastiality

Dr. Cole Abaius — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 20:46:07 +0000

Every Wednesday, Kevin Carr vents on what Hollywood shenanigans are boggling his mind that week in a feature we call WTF. Every Thursday, an FSR staff member refutes him in a feature appropriately named STFU.

If there ever was a need for better science education in this country, now is the time. This week, Kevin railed on the fact that Megan Fox both frightens him and arouses him, two states of being that, oddly enough, produce the same face. Despite every writer and commenter ever calling for a moratorium on mentions of Megan Fox, I feel I have to dip into her yet again for subject matter to expose the plight of our public education.

It might have been the illicit pseudo-relationship she held with a Russian stripper that scared some of our audience, but judging by Kevin’s reaction, it was actually her comment that she found Olivia Wilde so sexually attractive that it made her “want to strangle a mountain ox with [her] bare hands.”

This statement was followed moments later by a public declaration from Harry Knowles of Aint It Cool News claiming that he was, in fact, a mountain ox.

Whether or not the strangulation of a draft animal had any sexual connotation is up for debate, although the answer is yes, as everything Megan Fox says has a sexual connotation. Unfortunately, here’s where a disgusting double standard comes into play:

Earlier on in the week, famed author (who may or may not exist) Chuck Palahniuk claimed that he’d copulate with a giant panda if need be. Sam Rockwell opted for love-making with a goat. Two men, expressing comfortably their preference of beast in the bedroom, and no one batted an eyelash. Now, Megan Fox, a woman, speaks openly about her sado-masochistic needs, and the press jumps all over it. Kevin goes as far as to claim she’s replaced Angelina Jolie as the freakiest hottie.

First of all, Ms. Fox seems like a decent young lady. She has a tattoo of a line from King Lear. That’s Shakespeare, friends. It screams class. Where’s your tattoo from again, Kevin? Isn’t it a section of the Arby’s Menu?

Secondly, it’s well-cited that Ms. Fox is actually the granddaughter of Emily Post, famed writer on etiquette, and, when she’s not gripping the life out of cattle, Megan is the writer behind such pseudonyms as Miss Manners, Peggy Noonan and Andrew Sullivan. Her opinions on eating out properly (with special attention to crystal stemware) and foreign policy are world-renowned. Her stint into acting is just a foray in expressing her very normal, very healthy, very natural sexual side.

Thirdly, she can’t be as freaky as Angelina Jolie because she hasn’t made out with own brother. That we know of.

What we should be more frightened by is the fact that – wait for it – there is no such animal as a mountain ox. That’s right. While reporters everywhere were asking if you can actually strangle a mountain ox, no one thought to ask if they exist or whether Ms. Fox knew that they didn’t.

Which proves, in a roundabout way, that our science education in this country is abysmal. Either that, or it proves that we won’t fact-check a gorgeous-looking woman who makes a claim about the intensity of her sexual arousal at the thought of another gorgeous-looking woman, likening its strength to that of violent death for giant, domesticated ungulates. Or when she claims she’s against earmarks.

I’ll state here and now that a beastiality trend is sweeping the nation. First beloved actor Sam Rockwell, then famed author Chuck Palahniuk and now our sweet, lovely Megan Fox. Hell, we all know Kevin Smith has had his fingers crossed for this for years. But we can’t have a double standard. We can’t applaud men for speaking out and then find women “weird” or “freaky.” So shame on you, Kevin Carr, and shame on all of us for continuing to give Ms. Fox publicity. Perhaps the lesson in this for all of us is to Shut the Freak Up.

STFU: The Waiting Isn’t the Hardest Part

Adam Sweeney — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 03:33:14 +0000

In the last episode of WTF, our lovable reject Kevin Carr was taking a stand on the “minor inconvenience” of wasting “20 seconds or so” sitting through blue-screen FBI warnings . Newsflash, Kevin: depending on how fast you read, you probably just spent that same time getting through this introduction.

Kevin, you have an issue with FBI warnings because they consist of material you’re familiar with. “Who can’t recite that warning from heart?” you ask. Following that line of thinking, why experience anything that has happened before? I can just see a conversation with my future wife over dinner.

“Hi honey, how was your day?”

“Well, Adam, my boss got onto–”

“Look, I’ve heard this before. We all know she jumped on your back, she’s banging the mailroom clerk. Blah, blah. Now let’s finish our salad so we can watch the NEW episode of Robo-Dad.”

Somehow I don’t think that’d go over too well. And you know I hate watching Robo-Dad alone.

The irony of the situation is that the majority of the feature presentations you own on DVD are in all likelihood something you have seen before. Why not skip through the expositional scenes and get to the parts of the film we really like? Why watch a classic like The Godfather at all? We all know Don Vito Corleone is going to make an offer he can’t refuse.

In fact, all stories operate under the same basic conflict structures. Should we quit watching films because each one doesn’t reinvent the wheel? Why stop there? I say to hell with getting up in the morning! We all know the sun will come up anyway!

You argue that the time spent watching that horrid blue screen could be better spent watching nine episodes of “Sister, Sister: The Complete Third Season.” Well, Kevin, I think that if you really cared about our national treasures, Tia and Tamera Mowry, you’d fork over 20 seconds to make sure some hoodrat isn’t stealing a dime off their award-worthy sitcom. Somewhere out there, I believe there is a person watching that FBI warning for the first time, and thinking out loud “Do I want to infringe on the rights of my brethren?” If the Feds can reach one person, Kev, they’ve done their job. (Cue Randy Watson’s version of “The Greatest Love of All.”)

Yes, FBI warnings are annoying. Everyone knows that. So why take the easy route and write an article that plays it safe, rehashing what everyone else has thought before? Who can’t recite that gripe from heart? To attack such well worn territory is as criminal, pun intended, as writing a Britney Spears joke for Meet the Spartans 2.

When it comes down to it, everything has been done before. Does this mean we should skip over it? Life’s about the journey, right?

We here at FSR are committed to finding the latest angle and to discuss topics that are novel in nature. Maybe it was a case of you being under the weather, but to essentially shoot a fish in a barrel by griping about FBI warnings is as much of a waste of time as sitting through the warning itself. I think it’s time to grab a bottle of Benadryl, the latest Saved by the Bell DVD, and Shut the Fed Up.

STFU: Bigger Ain’t Always Better

Josh Radde — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 21:10:24 +0000

Every market in the acting industry eventually becomes saturated. Kevin Carr wrote an article yesterday about how two-time Oscar winner Hilary Swank is putting on some weight (20-30 pounds) to play the lead role in French Women Don’t Get Fat. Kevin’s argument was that since playing a mentally challenged person is no longer Kosher, a person has to put on weight to be taken seriously as a dramatic force.

News for you Kevin Carr: That market is saturated, too. Shut the flab up.

2001: Renee Zellweger puts on weight, adopts British accent, gets nominated.
2002: Nicole Kidman puts on a little weight and a prosthetic nose, wins Oscar.
2003: Charlize Theron becomes ugly, slightly fatter, wins Oscar.

Since then, no one has been rewarded for such a “gutsy,” “heroic” move. George Clooney put on 30 pounds for Syriana, but everyone knows he won that Oscar because Good Night and Good Luck wasn’t getting any love anywhere else. Marion Cotillard won last year, not because she gained weight and got uglied up (She wore a fatsuit in the film and had award-winning makeup artists at her side), but because she was in a biopic.* That’s what’s “in” these days, Kevin. Philip Seymour-Hoffman, Jamie Foxx, Helen Mirren, Forest Whitaker, and Cotillard all won awards for biopics (while Joaquin Phoenix, Leonardo DiCaprio, and David Strathairn were nominated).

So, in a sense, Swank’s becoming fat (or normal, whichever way you look at it) actually IS gutsy again because it’s going against the trend that Hollywood is currently in. Look what happened to Jared Leto. He gained a ton of weight for Chapter 27 and although people talked about it in the tabloids, the film walked away with only $56,000 from the box office.

Furthermore, let me take a minute and do something we don’t normally do here on FSR and defend a celebrity. Hilary Swank is not an “anorexic-thin actress”–far from it. She’s buff, man. Look at her in Million Dollar Baby. She would kick your ass before and after her paralysis. The aggression you have toward Ms. Swank is uncalled for, especially considering that actresses like Keira Knightley are half her size. Point to a muscle on Paris Hilton–find one, I challenge you. Swank is an actress that takes care of herself. She’s also an actress that likes to invest in a role physically. Actors and actresses know that to really become a character you may have to change your body type. People do it all the time–Christian Bale lost a dangerous amount of weight for The Machinest and then showed up on the Batman set with 50 extra pounds of muscle. Some people are just devoted and equate characterization with physical change. As actors, they are entitled to do so, and as the audience, we appreciate it when they do.

Hilary Swank is not the problem here, Kevin. It’s people like you in the media who create this double-standard for performers. Putting on weight? Well you’re obviously trying to show us how you can be “in touch” with normal people. Losing too much weight? Well now you’re just trying to fit into a Hollywood mold. Can’t we just agree that Ms. Swank is a gifted and talented actress? Can’t we single her out for being a two-time Oscar winner yet she still does absolute crap like The Reaping or The Core? There’s no reason to point out an actress for something as trivial as their weight when there’s plenty of material in what films they make. We’re not US Magazine here–weight is weight, and if it translates to the finished production then it doesn’t even matter anyway.

Besides, she’ll probably be nominated for playing Amelia Earhart in an upcoming biopic than playing some fat, French broad, anyway.

* I don’t consider The Hours or Monster as biopics, because even though they represent real-life people, Virginia Woolf was a recluse and not a public figure and Aileen Wuornos was a serial killer who was on the news for awhile. Neither is prolific or as major as Queen Elizabeth or Ray Charles.

STFU: Dogs Deserve More Credit

Robert Fure — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 16:37:39 +0000

Wow. I mean, just wow. What kind of person attacks a dog? I’m pretty sure that’s a crime in all 50 states. In his weekly “WTF” column, Kevin Carr had the audacity to try to say that wonder dog Kuma somehow doesn’t deserve recognition on IMDB, despite a long career spanning 19 jobs as an actor.

Kuma, birth name Kuma Von Clifford, is an Aussie/Husky mix that can pick up coins with his teeth! Off the ground. That is damned impressive. And did you see that picture of Kuma sitting in a leather bound chair? That dog should be hosting Masterpiece Theater and smoking a pipe. Hell, I want Kuma to write a weekly column at FSR.

This talented pup also understands more than 50 verbal and non-verbal signals, making him more literate than FSR staff member Cole Abaius. But in all seriousness, why shouldn’t animals be allowed to advertise their talents on IMDB? Not just any dog can do what is required to be an acting animal. The hours are still long, the job repetitive, and the rewards merely bacon. There have been several movies where the dog has outshone the actor. I Am Legend should be remembered if only for the fact that Will Smith was out-acted by Abbey the German Shepherd. On-set accounts reveal that the dog would respond to “rolling,” as if getting into character.

Animals are expressive and important parts of many stories and as such, they deserve recognition. Much like stunt players, animals are often overlooked. They deserve more bacon and belly rubs and possibly their own Animal Planet Awards Show. They do more than most producers and emote better than a lot of actors. Plus, they’re cute and fun and they don’t get all bitchy if their latte is cold. They don’t mind drinking from the toilet.

So Kevin, Shut The Fluff Up. Kuma deserves his spot on the IMDB, both out of recognition and out of the boost to his career that it could bring. But then again, maybe I’m a little spoiled having been as high as 167,052 on the Star Meter. I say bring on the dogs! Lets finally recognize our four legged friends for the stars they are.

STFU: The Skinny on Kevin Carr

Dr. Cole Abaius — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 16:16:57 +0000

Every Wednesday, Kevin Carr vents on what Hollywood shenanigans are boggling his mind that week in a feature we call WTF. Every Thursday from now on, an FSR staff member refutes him in a feature appropriately named STFU.

This week, we were plagued with the clever words of Kevin Carr taking on the only news story that matters ever – the Tropic Thunder Offense-a-thon. Apparently, Kevin wants to have his cake and eat it, too, citing his completely sarcastic disgust at Jack Black’s fake trailer for The Fatties: Fart 2. Kevin pointed out over and over that he’s rather hefty and pretended to be offended by the portrayal of fat folks in Black’s trailer to parody the genuine outrage of groups boycotting the film over it’s portrayal of the cognitively disabled.

My only advice? Lighten up. Of course, I meant that mentally, not physically. No one should have to lighten up physically if they don’t want to.

Words can’t describe how offended this situation makes me. Except, I mean that rhetorically because I’m about to use a lot of words to explain to what degree I’m outraged. It’s obvious, at least, why I’m offended. Kevin is pretending to be offended in order to display how offended he is by a group of people offended because an actor in a movie pretends to be an actor pretending to be a mentally handicapped person. It’s simple.

Or maybe I’m just pretending to be offended, too, in order to mock and parody Carr’s attempt at humor. You never know – sarcasm is hard to detect in writing. Maybe I’ll spout on and on about how offended I am only to display how silly it is for someone to pretend to be offended to make a point instead of actually being offended myself. It’s like when a method actor makes fun of method actors.

Despite all the levels of satire, parody, lampoon and whatever other words people can misuse for this low-level brand of humor, the one thing that makes Carr’s claims totally outrageous is something that no one in our audience knows about. That’s right. I’m about to drop a bombshell. A big one.

Kevin Carr isn’t actually fat.

To the left, I provide a photograph of the real Kevin Carr that has not at all been altered in any way, at all, ever. Undeniable, photographic proof that Carr is hiding a big, skinny secret.

That’s right, Rejects. Despite the incredible lengths he’s gone to in order to make everyone think he’s fat – photoshopping pictures, naming his podcast ‘Fat Guys at the Movies’, wearing a fat suit in public, wheezing a lot, being jolly, faking no less than 17 heart attacks, constantly talking about going on a diet but never doing it, asking if ‘you’re going to eat that’ – Carr is actually a svelte 180, standing tall at 6-foot-2. He was once mistaken for Kate Moss.

So who is he, a thin man, to speak out on behalf of the Fat Community? Who elected him to be the voice of outrage? Why does he think he can play representative to the needs of said Fat Community? Does the American League of Fat Persons really need Carr to feign offense on their behalf while drinking a smoothie after his five-times-weekly gym trip?

Maybe Kevin needs to STFU.

In private conversations, Carr claims that he needs to speak up for those that don’t have a voice – citing that normal methods of protest like marches and chanting through a megaphone without having stop to catch one’s breath every few seconds are out of the question for the horizontally afflicted. But the real truth is that he’s an opportunist looking to exploit the needs of the Fat Community for his own personal gain. I have documents proving that Carr has made well over $17.45 in his capacity as spokesmen for the cause, and that doesn’t include the packet of coupons he got for Popeye’s Chicken that he’ll never use because he shuns greasy, fried foods. The madness has to stop.

Now that I’ve let the fat out of the bag, I’m calling on a boycott of Kevin Carr. Don’t go see his movies. Don’t buy his line of energy drinks that are being advertised as “Carrb-Free.” Don’t wave ‘hello’ to him when you see him on the street. Punch him in the face if he asks how you’re doing. In short, ban the exploitation. Ban Kevin Carr.

Or maybe I’m just pretending to call for a boycott of Kevin Carr to make a point. I can’t even tell anymore.

STFU: Colonel Tigh would be a Horrible VP

Josh Radde — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 16:55:07 +0000

Every Wednesday, Kevin Carr vents on what Hollywood shenanigans are boggling his mind that week in a feature we call WTF. Every Thursday, an FSR staff member will refute him in a feature appropriately named STFU.

Oh, Kevin Carr. I applaud your wanting a Bizarro-world election year where the candidates look like carbon-copies of each other. But, like always, you’ve taken your WTF section TOO FAR, dammit.

This week, you responded to Cole and David’s list of VP picks by suggesting two of your own: Harry Lennix and Michael Hogan. My response to YOUR response: STFU.

Don’t just throw around the phrase “cheddar-sharp logic” like it’s pictures of your newest baby. I happen to LOVE cheddar cheese, and I would appreciate if you keep your empty rhetoric out of my fridge and out of my face!

First let’s start off the way you did–Harry Lennix for John McCain. Alright, not only was this man featured in the WORST season of “24″, bar none, to date, he was also courting President Wayne Palmer and deceased President David Palmer’s sister, Sandra (Regina King). So, I would assume he’s a Democrat anyway. McCain is having enough time convincing the Right that he means business, the last thing he needs is a man who’s in bed with the Palmers.

Granted, Lennix does have “military” experience, but that only comes in the form of “Commander Lock” in two woefully directed Matrix sequels. If you let Laurence Fishburne steal your woman from under you, you are NOT fit to be second-in-command. Lennix is also friends with David Schwimmer. Need I say more?

As for Michael Hogan for Obama: This man has a list of grievances bogging him down, NOT including the fact that he is a Cylon. First of all, he portrays Saul Tigh who was born on Aerelon, which after a quick gander, does not appear to be on my U.S. map. Even if that’s a little too picky for you, Michael Hogan was born IN CANADA. Moot, moot, moot. Fellow Americans, do you really want a prospector’s son, from CANADA, who sports an eye-patch, murdered his Bizarro-Cindy McCain wife who betrayed him to become our “go-to” should anything happen to Barack Obama?

My vote is NO. So say we all.

So before you go calling the McCain and Obama campaigns, please go about checking them facts. Oh, and only those of us who play a secret pickup basketball game with Obama can call him “Big O” –because of his dominant, low-post presence.

***Josh Radde is a senior staff member of Ralph Nader’s candidacy for President. He may or may not have an MFA from Yale and a SAG card. He can be reached through his personal website, 2girls1cup.com.

STFU: Kevin Carr Hates Good Advice

Dr. Cole Abaius — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 19:13:14 +0000

(Every Wednesday, Kevin Carr vents on what Hollywood shenanigans are boggling his mind that week in a feature we call WTF. Every Thursday from now on, an FSR staff member will refute him in a feature appropriately named STFU)

This week, Carr rambled on not just about Shia Labeouf’s DUI arrest but about the advice that other celebu-brats were proffering the wayward youth. Khloe Kardashian, who you may know as sister to Kim Kardashian, who you may know as the large-assested daughter of Bruce Jenner, who you may know from winning the 1976 Olympic decathalon, claimed that Labeouf should “get a driver” because it’s “cheaper in the long run.”

Despite having to search three degrees for a connection to an actual famous person, Kardashian (the Khloe one) has some sound advice, but Carr doesn’t seem to think so.

Yes, it’s important to weigh the danger of bodily harm one could cause when getting behind the wheel, and no one should ever, ever drive under the influence, but considering the cost of the act as well shouldn’t be a crime. She’s been there. She was in jail for a few hours atoning for her sins, and she understands the hefty fines, court costs and lawyer fees that come with such a dire mistake. It’s pragmatic, and you know the only uniquely American philosophy out there? Pragmatism. Do you hate pragmatism, Kevin? Do you hate America?

Or perhaps Kardashian was speaking specifically to the emotional and physical cost, and you misinterpreted her. Perhaps she meant that it was “cheaper in the long run” in regards to the psychological fees and scarring that could take place. Perhaps she meant that endangering the lives of others was a price even too high for the Hollywood wunderkind. We’d like to think she’s a vapid, self-indulged buffoon who only lives for her daddy’s money, but when the cameras stop rolling or flashing, maybe Khloe Kardashian goes off to a quiet corner to read “The Sun Also Rises” and contemplates the works of Brahms and Spinoza.

Just imagine if the rest of her quote went on to say, “For the depth of human life is worth more than any single experience. If you plan to act carelessly with you’re own life, the only way to avoid paying such a hefty tax on the soul is to employ the service of a guardian angel – one to take you to and from locations while expanding your mind with libations of the strongest sort. Forsooth, if you lose consciousness and steer your own course, the possibility of destroying another’s life is far too high a price to pay. To hire a chauffeur is only money. To lose a life or kill another is to lose your humanity.”

Sounds plausible to me. Truer words were never spoken, Ms. Kardashian.

Or maybe she was just speaking to her audience. All the appeals to safety might fall on the deaf ears of a young man raised in the spotlight. Instead, she cleverly appealed to his sensible side, creating an argument that might seem ghoulish to Mr. Carr, but that keeps Shia off the streets. All the sensible pleas in the world wouldn’t matter if they didn’t sink in, and maybe that’s what Shia needed to help the information really hit home. If that’s the case, Khloe Kardashian just saved lives.

You’ve had your say about the addle-pated pseudo-model’s opinion on the matter, Kevin, but the next time a D-list star gives an almost-A-list star advice, maybe you should STFU.

Film School Rejects » STFU

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