Is the Twilight Soundtrack a Sign of Angsty Things to Come?

FSR Staff — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 00:19:44 +0000

We started covering Twilight earlier this year, and so far it’s been a contentious topic around the FSR offices. So contentious, that when the soundtrack was released this week, it caused some serious debate, and, with nothing else to do on a Thursday evening, Brian Gibson and Cole Abaius took to the interwebs to discuss the sounds getting us in the mood for young vampire love.

The soundtrack features Muse, Paramore, The Black Ghosts, Linkin Park, Mutemath, Perry Farrell, Collective Soul, Blue Foundation, Iron & Wine, and Edward himself – Rob Pattinson.

Cole Abaius: So the Twilight Soundtrack just came out, and we’re worried that it might be a bad sign for the tone of the movie right? It’s looking a bit heavy on the angst and the guy-liner.

Brian Gibson: Nothing says “marketing to 14-year old girls” like Paramore.

CA: Seriously.

BG: I really think it’s a weird move by the studio…the film would have attracted its core audience of teenagers either way. These songs are clearly directed at a teen demographic.

CA: That’s what I’m worried about. Part of me was hoping that the movie would actually be aimed at a broader audience, but this soundtrack sends a pretty clear message about tone.

BG: They could have taken a totally different approach, like the Harry Potter films did, and set the film to an original score. It wouldn’t have driven away their audience, and it would have given the film some sense of legitimacy/seriousness.

CA: And that’s what Twilight needs – more comparisons to Harry Potter. I think it’s even sadder that Linkin Park is now associated with whining tweens.

BG: At least they aren’t Smashmouth yet. Maybe Linkin Park will show up in the credits for Shrek the Halls.

CA: There are a few shining lights, though. Muse and Iron & Wine aren’t exactly bands I’d call directed toward young teens. But Paramore having two songs on the soundtrack is pretty scary.

BG: No, but even Muse and Iron & Wine make me think they are trying to be different just for different’s sake.

CA: That’s a little unfair. It’s not like this is Nick and Norah’s Infinite Twilight. Muse and Iron & Wine are viable, well-known bands now. And by the way, are we sure that these songs are in the movie, or is this soundtrack just “Twilight: Songs to Cut Yourself By?”

BG: Excellent point. It looks like they’ll be in the movie. Plus, the Perry Farrell song sounds like it’s going to be played during a dance/party/vampiric orgy. There is a vampiric orgy in the book right? I think I heard that on Fat Guys at the Movies…

CA: Why do you think it took me over two weeks to read the first book? I kept re-reading the vampire orgy section. It gets lonely at night in the FSR Offices.

BG: And that’s why you won’t let me borrow your copy, right?

CA: No one gets my copy.

BG: Back on point,..I just feel like this soundtrack is a slap in the face to anyone who wanted a serious movie. The trailer looks emo enough as it is.

CA: Alright, alright, we can’t judge the movie just yet, but I’ll admit the soundtrack really does send things in a dark direction toward the halls of an abandoned middle school.

BG: Yeah, and middle schoolers have so much darkness and pain in their lives.

CA: To be fair, I haven’t even heard the songs. I just checked out the band list. Did you steal it?

BG: No, but I listened to the clips on iTunes.

CA: I’ll check it out now. Totally legally. I swear.

BG: They couldn’t have been more random with the artists, too.

CA: Like, somebody already had Paramore and The Black Ghosts lined up and thought, “We really need a mid-90s, alt-rock band to round this bad boy out. Get Collective Soul on the phone!”

BG: If this is any indication of what to expect from the film, I’m eagerly awaiting a cameo by Yahoo Serious as one of their teachers.

CA: Yahoo Serious joke? Thanks 1989.

BG: Speaking of 1989, I wonder if “Not Keanu Reeves” guy from Bill and Ted will reprise his role as Random Vampire #2 from The Lost Boys. And Collective Soul is there so all the Twi-moms can go, “I remember that band!”

CA: Am I really the same age as Twi-moms? Collective Soul was the first CD I bought. That’s right. CD. Not a hologramaphone disc or whatever the kids are listening to these days.

BG: Did you check out the songs yet?

CA: Damn it, yes. I made the mistake of listening to the songs to try to get in the mood to write, and now I’ve lost both my will to write and my will to live. Was Evanescence not available for this thing?

BG: Nope. Stone Sour was having a wicked barbecue. I heard Staind was asked to be on the soundtrack, but then Aaron Lewis forgot he was afraid of sunlight.

CA: Wow,…there’s just nothing cheery on this thing at all. Surprising for a love story. And is it just me or do The Black Ghosts sound like The Cure giving a concert in their bathroom with the reverb and creepy knobs turned up to 11?

BG: Bad-mouthing bands? You’re just jealous that your voice won’t be heard once Edward learns to unhook a bra one-handed.

CA: You’re right. I’m just jealous that my band, Blood Depression and the Dark Tears of Sorrow, didn’t get invited to jam on this soundtrack.

BG: Do you still get teardrops painted on your face before you go on stage?

CA: Nah, I got it perma-tattooed. It saves a ton on mascara, too.

BG: Do you think Twilight could use another grunge scene?

CA: Nice. Look, in all fairness, it’s not like we expected to see Vitamin C or Jay-Z on this thing. Isn’t this exactly what we expected for it?

BG: In a joking manner, yes, but I at least expected more original content…like wouldn’t it be awesome if Clint Mansell did the score?

CA: Were you thinking something closer to Requiem for a Dream or Doom?

BG: Well, the guy has created some awesomely dark soundtracks, and I think that the film sounds too bright right now. It could use a bit more edge.

CA: Too bright? It’s a love story.

BG: Set in Washington – where hope, dry clothes, and cheap coffee go to die.

CA: And where vampire love goes to bloom. Although, I’d rather not see Edward and Bella share their first kiss as Perry Farrell’s squeaky, androgynous voice hits a high crescendo note.

BG: Maybe they could kiss to the sound of Linkin Park selling out.

CA: To be honest, it would have been really cool to see Matthew Bellamy, the frontman for Muse, get an orchestra in front of him and do an original score.

BG: But even from a studio standpoint, they probably could have gotten away cheaper by just doing an original score and not paying for the rights to these songs. They still would have sold a ton of albums. I heard they are giving away a free poster when you physically buy the CD – they should have advertised a free Lock of Edward’s Hair with every purchase.

CA: I have to disagree with you there. I don’t think a ton of tweeny-boppers would have rushed to buy an original score that didn’t feature bands they’ve seen on TRL. That show still exists right?

BG: Thanks, Cole. I successfully erased all memory of that godawful show and its host…and you had to bring it up.

CA: And speaking of Edward, let’s talk about the sacred cows of the soundtrack – Rob Pattinson’s song and Bella’s Lullaby.

BG: Those songs aren’t nearly angsty enough.

CA: Instead of kissing to Linkin Park selling out, Bella and Edward can make out to the sound of Rob Pattinson launching his singing career.

BG: At Starbucks maybe.

CA: A singing career that, I’m sorry to say, sounds like he’ll be moaning inarticulately through. He sort of sounds like a boring version of Joe Purdy or Amos Lee. And, yes, I’m prepared for the flames of rage to be brought down on me for dissing Rob Pattinson.

BG: Don’t be offensive, Cole, it just sounds like Rob didn’t get enough time out in the van learning S’s and R’s during grade school.

CA: One thing I think fans can agree on is that the Lullaby is awful.It’s supposed to be otherworldly, supposed to be performed by a genius pianist, and it sounds like a grade-schooler picked up a My First Piano.

BG: Casio Keyboard +Mac = Pure Gold.

CA: And it’s done by Carter Burwell who did the Burn After Reading soundtrack. I was expecting more “hauntingly beautiful” than “plunkingly awkward.”

BG: Did you see that picture of Edward and Bella at the piano? Tell me that Bella’s Lullaby is not supposed to be performed by Edward. Say it aint so.

CA: Ha, it is. He writes the song in the book, and she swoons.

BG: I just threw up in my mouth.

CA: Listening to this song, I can imagine someone’s girlfriend would say, “Oh, that’s good, honey. Really. It’s really, really, uh, really cool. You’re great.” Like Jason Segel sharing his Dracula Rock Opera with Sarah Marshall.

BG: “Can you play any Paramore?”

CA: I’d just like to point out, Edward has had hundreds of years to practice and superhuman speed and dexterity, and he comes up with “Beeee, Bo, Boooop, Beep, Booop.” Yes, that’s my highly technical musical lingo.

BG: I wonder if 100 years ago it was called Dorothy’s Lullaby…or Ethel’s Lullaby…

CA: Okay, Brian. 1) Edward never dated any of the Golden Girls. 2) He’s apparently been single his whole vampire life and 3) Thank you for bein’ a friend. You’re a pal and a confidante.

BG: Maybe Edward is so good at making girls swoon because he’s practiced on many a generation of ladies. I think the single thing is BS….he says that to all the girls who come around every 100 years.

CA: It’s a good point, but even if he really was single all those years -hundreds of years of practice and super human dexterity could come in handy for more than just music.

BG: Again, you only talk about the dirty parts of the book.

CA: Untrue, sir. Those scenes are done very tastefully. Man, we can’t run that, but we’ll end up running it anyway.

BG: Agreed.

CA: Final thoughts?

BG: Yeah, I think it’s a weak move by the studio…a cheap tactic to sell some soundtracks and make the film accessible to a wider audience. Wait, nevermind, that’s kind of the whole point. But the fans will see right through it.

CA: You think it broadens the audience? I think it cements it as a movie for 14-year old females. And I think those girls will eat it up, just like they’d eat up Rob Pattinson pics in Tiger Beat.

BG: I thought you canceled your subscription.

CA: They just keep mysteriously showing up. But for those of us hoping for a movie with a bit broader appeal, this soundtrack doesn’t bode well, and personally, I don’t want to sit through 2 hours of background music provided by The Cure ripoffs and Muse. Let’s hope the movie’s tone doesn’t match the soundtrack’s.

BG: Let’s hope Muse and The Black Ghosts don’t read FSR.

CA: Who are we kidding? No one reads FSR.

What do you think? Have you checked out the Twilight Soundtrack yet? Does it make you wish it were raining so you’d have an excuse to hide your tears? Is it totally obvious that Cole is a Twilight fan just to get a date from those HisGoldenEyes.com girls?

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Is the Twilight Soundtrack a Sign of Angsty Things to Come?

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