Film School Rejects » Porn Week

The Top Six To Nine Movies to Watch While F*cking

Rob Hunter — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 00:02:39 +0000

First, a clarification on the title of this list… the intention is not to actually “watch” these movies while simultaneously having sex. (If that’s what you’re looking for then you need a new sex buddy.) And if you’re expecting a list of porn movies or even simply the hottest or best sex scenes, then this list is not for you (although some of these are incredibly hot movies.) These are movies to be glanced at occasionally during breaks for air, water, or inspiration. Movies meant to be played in the background while you focus on pleasing and teasing the flesh beside you. Movies you start to watch with the intention of finishing, but that may lead down the road toward carnal behaviors instead…

And a quick disclaimer, I don’t believe TV’s should be in bedrooms, as the bedroom should only be used for sleeping and sex. However, I do believe you can sleep or screw in any room of the house. Sometimes the TV just happens to be on, and sometimes you may just need some sounds to cover your own noises. Obviously not all of these films will work with every person, so feel free to mix and match and then suggest some of your own in the comments section below.

Secretary

Sure the movie is about attempted suicide, self-mutilation, S&M, divorce, want-ads, and other deviant subjects, but it’s also one of the most beautiful and romantic movies you’ll ever see. Highlights that may inspire include spanking, masturbation, moaning, sly Gyllenhaalian lip curls, sexy subservient behavior, semen stains, bath time, and the sweetest love scene ever put to film.

The Unbearable Lightness of Being

This is just a sexy movie. Period. Lena Olin and Juliette Binoche share Daniel Day-Lewis and each other in multiple scenes of smoldering sexuality, and when the characters aren’t playing and plying each other’s naughty bits they’re thinking about it. Yes there’s communism and drama all around them, but that just makes the sex that much more of an escape and relief. As an added bonus the movie is almost three hours long which is enough time for twelve girlie-o’s and six for the boys.

School Ties

To be honest, I have no explanation for this one. All I can say is that I’ve tried watching this movie twice with two different “friends”, and for some reason both viewings ended in sweaty coupling. Maybe the ladies were overcome by the combined testosterone of Brendan Fraser, Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, and Cole Hauser. Maybe they were simply aroused by the plight of the Jews. I don’t know, and I don’t really care. But maybe someday I’ll get to see how the movie ends.

The Exterminating Angels

Go ahead and press mute immediately on this one, because all you’re after here are the stunningly hot women masturbating themselves and each other. Okay, that makes it sound like porn and I promised I’d be avoiding porn, so just know that it’s about one director’s search for the truth and intensity behind the ultimate pleasure of the female orgasm… hell, it’s about hot women diddling. Guys like watching it, girls like watching it (don’t lie, it’s true), and everybody’s happy.

Pathology

This won’t appeal to everyone, and most people won’t find it arousing in even the slightest sense of the word. But… some people will. And those that do are the ones up for pretty much anything sexual you can think of. The film’s mix of sex and death, sometimes side by side, can be a rush with the right combination of people. And while hopefully it won’t lead to you and your fellow fornicator bringing a homeless person back to kill and then screw, it may lead to some kinky ass techniques you’ve never thought of before.

Sex and Lucia

Stealing a glance at the screen periodically on this movie will leave you bewildered and confused, but even if you watched it intently and without distraction you’d still probably have no goddamn clue what the hell was happening. And that’s okay (although it actually is an excellent film). Just know that Paz Vega is stupefyingly sexy and quite often naked. Know that the film has a dream-like quality, beautiful geography, and for fans of the cock there’s a scene with a naked man covered in mud who titillates Lucia by making his muddy dongle twitch. The ladies seem to like that.

The Last Temptation of Christ

I know, I know… I’m going to hell. But seriously, if there absolutely has got to be something playing on your TV while you swap bodily fluids with the one you love (right now) then what could be better than the story of Jesus Christ? The movie does have it’s share of naked people… horribly dirty and hairy naked people… and there are a couple sex scenes, but this movie isn’t on the list for any of its visuals. It’s the best movie to have playing during sex solely for the musical score by Peter Gabriel. His internationally flavored music is beautiful, haunting, rhythmic, tribal, and perfectly suited for bumping uglies. The three most primal and invigorating scenes from my experience, musically speaking, are when he heals the possessed, disrupts the money changers in the temple, and the end credits. Fear of being struck by lightning adds a nice degree of intensity and danger as well.

And as a post-coital bonus… anything from Pixar

I did say “post-coital”, so please don’t accuse me of finding anything erotic in these CGI classics (at least not intentionally.) Instead, understand that sex can sometimes be dirty, and when it’s over you may desire a spiritual cleansing of sorts. What better way to clean your soul than with the pure innocence of a Pixar film? Pop one in, lean back with your partner, and just enjoy. And if you’re up for it, maybe make a game out of seeing who can spot the Pizza Planet truck or A113 first. Winner receives oral…

What do you recommend as television background noise while making whoopee? Are you judging me silently right now? If so, use your fingers and judge me down below.

A Peek at Porn Star Cameos in Mainstream Films

Adam Sweeney — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 01:46:50 +0000

Critics may be getting hot and bothered this week over the premiere of Kevin Smith’s Zack and Miri Make a Porno, but the current list of cameos by adult film stars in mainstream cinema is already as long as Dirk Diggler’s flesh sabre.

With the internet floodgate opening wide, porn has found a way into the rooms and lives of anyone that knows how to click a mouse, assuming that is what you’re doing when you watch it. Add the fact that over a quarter of home-video revenue comes from the adult film industry at 4.2 billion dollars a year, and it’s not too difficult to see why porn stars are becoming household names.

So why put porn stars into films? Well, for starters it gives a director a sense of street credibility. Spike Lee dropped some adult film knowledge on hoop enthusiasts by putting Vivid girls Chasey Lain and Jill Kelly in He Got Game, leading all Catholics watching the film to whisper Hail Marys when considering that the two co-eds would scream, “Jesus!” while sandwiched between Ray Allen.

Rob Zombie is no stranger to controversy, so it was only natural to have Ginger Lynn nail a clown in The Devil’s Rejects. In fact, I’d have been disappointed if he didn’t have her in that film. I wasn’t old enough to ever see any of her films, but she carries a reputation that, well, let’s just say is worth a mouthful.

Another reason to place porn stars in prominent roles is a pretty simple one, they fit the part. Peter Berg killed off his adult film starlet, Kobe Tai, who played a stripper in Very Bad Things, the Coen Brothers dropped Mensa member Asia Carrera into The Big Lebowski as a, wait for it, porn star, and Juli Ashton made jaws drop in Trey Parker and Matt Stone’s Orgazmo as a … porn star. My question is – why wouldn’t you want to put an adult film star in these roles? Would you cast Cedric the Entertainer to be in a basketball movie? No, you’d cast Michael Jordan, the greatest baller of all-time. So it only makes sense when it comes to sex you’d also cast the greatest ballers of all-time Okay, some idiotic director may cast Cedric the Entertainer, but not me. Kevin Smith understands this idea, it’s why he cast Katie Morgan and classic porn star Traci Lords in Zack and Miri. Both actresses have made their rounds … in mainstream film and television. Morgan recently appeared on “Entourage” and Lords deserves a paragraph of her own. So let’s give it to her. Damn, everything comes out sexual doesn’t it?

Traci Lords may be one of the most taboo adult film stars, and I use the term adult very loosely. The majority of her porn films were made while Traci was underage. However, you can check her out in a plethora of cameos and major roles alike. Lords’ most famous film cameo previously was probably as a vampiress in Blade, but she is better known for her role in John Waters’s Cry-Baby and her television run. She’s been on “MacGyver”, “Married with Children” (a guest starring appearance I saw when I was a child and may very well have been my first awkward moment), “Gilmore Girls”, “Will and Grace”, “Roseanne”, and “Melrose Place”. She may have been an adult film queen in the 80s but she has shaken that title, also stepping into the music scene. Adult film star or not, she also is one of the prettiest women I have ever seen.

Some adult film stars have become so popular that they’ve had documentaries made about them. Ron Jeremy, the star of such classic adult film titles as Honey We Blew up Your Pussy 2, defies all rules of attraction with his ability to get laid. He also ranks in the top tier of porn stars who have made cameos. Consider this, Jeremy has been in Boondock Saints, Ronin (his scenes didn’t make the cut), Citizen Toxie: The Toxic Avenger IV, Orgazmo, and is set to show up in Whore (which Transformers’ Megan Fox appears in) and Crank 2 with another porn star, Jenna Haze. It’s only a matter of time before “The Hedgehog”, as Jeremy has been nicknamed, makes his way into a Pixar film.

And whether you’re an adult film-watcher or not, you have to know who Jenna Jameson is. Her role in Howard Stern’s Private Parts ranks as one of the most tantalizing cameos ever. Jameson is perhaps the most recognizable figure in adult film and is set on making her way to mainstream cinema. Imagine that, you can watch Jenna without having to lock your bedroom door! And you said miracles don’t happen. Tsk Tsk.

It seems only logical to loosen up a bit and accept the fact that adult film stars are making more cameos now than Adam Sandler is making bad films. Let’s face it, America is conflicted about it, but no other subject sells as much as sex. It’s everywhere and whether we want to admit it or not, we love it. And look on the bright side, if you’re not comfortable watching an adult film you can always get an appetizer by watching the biggest names in porn show up in some of your favorite mainstream masterpieces. And don’t be afraid to point out that you know who they are. The time where you had to pretend you didn’t watch porn is disappearing. Hopefully it will be replaced with a healthy helping of intelligent discussion, an ability to accept sexuality for what it is, and an understanding that you can’t stop the rise of adult stars making their break into the mainstream. Sit back, relax, and enjoy it. You will later tonight anyway.

Shouting Match: Can Porn Stars Change the Mainstream?

Dr. Cole Abaius — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 00:20:21 +0000

At Film School Rejects, we like to have the final word, even when we’re arguing with ourselves. Although mostly, we just like to yell the loudest. We figured we should channel that energy into a feature we like to call “Shouting Match.” This week’s contenders? Cole Abaius and Rob Hunter. This week’s point of contention: Smoking Hot Porn Stars.

Opening Statements

COLE: Not only is the answer, ‘yes,’ but we’re already seeing it happen. It was negligible with Jenna Jameson becoming a stripping zombie with ravenous lady-bits, but now that Sasha Grey has been cast in a major flick directed by Steven Soderbergh, the game is changed. Yes, she’s playing a sex-worker, so it’s not a huge stretch (as I’m sure a ton of movie website headlines will point out), but it’s a giant leap for pornstarkind. Plus, Katie Morgan will warm the hearts and groin-areas of millions when Zack and Miri Make a Porno is released this weekend and she takes her turn as a supporting actress with a fair amount of screen time. Put her and Ms. Grey together and you’ve either got one hell of a sapphic scene or the start of a trend that could be game-changing. Or at the very least, could widen the pool of available actresses for director’s to acceptably choose from.

The correlative to that widening pool is that actresses might actually be able to use pornography as a viable means to taking their act mainstream. Another road to the red carpet that might involve eating some carpet. The big lie of the Casting Couch might become true after all.

ROB: I’ll label this folly as wishful thinking at best, as it’s never going to happen. Let’s hit your flaccid little points one at a time.

Yes, Jameson’s stripper role was negligible, but how is Grey’s any different? As you said, she’s still playing a sex worker, but more importantly, the movie will be far from the “major flick” you predict. This is the ultra low-budget follow-up to Soderbergh’s Bubble, which pretty much no one saw. In fact, I predict Zombie Strippers will out-gross The Girlfriend Experience. Katie Morgan in Zack & Miri will be seen, but do you honestly think she could handle a normal role? The girl is mentally retarded, albeit in a sexy and naked way, and while it plays well for porn I don’t see that persona working in “normal” films.

And widening the pool of available actresses? Seriously? Hollywood already has plenty of shitty actresses (and actors) so a few more that will also be happy to show their cooter really won’t make the slightest difference. Besides, can you actually name a porn star that’s successfully made the jump to mainstream so far?

The Rebuttal

COLE: It’s nice to see you don’t have any real points of your own. Your premature argumentation is easier to rebut. Grey’s role is a whole new ball game. For one, the horror genre is regarded as almost as niche as porn is – and no, not in terms of audience; it’s clear that they both have a ton of viewers – which is why Jameson’s role was negligible. But Grey’s appearing as the headliner in a film directed by an Academy Award-winning director, one who is highly respected and regarded in his field. It may not make much money or get much notability, but the role is about trend-changing, and Grey will definitely be gaining notice for scoring such a major role even if the film is a tiny little indie flick.

Of course you’d only see the short-run and apply the concept to these three actresses, but what they are doing is opening doors for others. And I’m sure you of all people realize that there are a few actresses working in porn who don’t fit the cliche of crappy acting. We’re on the cusp of the trend, not the end of it.

ROB: I didn’t realize I needed points of my own when yours were so absurd. So Grey’s role as a “headliner” in a film “directed by an Academy Award-winning director” is a “trend changer” eh? Just like Debbie Doebereiner’s headliner role in Bubble started a trend of of non-actors starring in movies? Who were the amateurs that scored starring roles after her again? What were the follow-up films Doebereiner went on to star in? Exactly.

Actresses who’ve done porn have three possible roles in non-porn films. They can do cameos as themselves (Entourage), minor roles for the in-joke crowds (Superbad), or soft-core sex films for the late night cable crowd (anything on Cinemax). And while the odds would predict that at least some porn stars can actually act (and I don’t mean the faked orgasms you’re so familiar with) I have yet to see one.

Closing Arguments

COLE: I could always tell by your bitterness and collection of guns that you were afraid of change, so I’ll have to chalk up your denial to that, I suppose. No, a pornstar getting a major role isn’t a trend on its own, but when it’s the third in a series of porn actresses crossing over and every role has moved increasingly up the chain of credibility, the trend is solidified.

But I’m not here to argue that a trend exists, since it clearly does, I’m here to argue that it’s possible that it could change the game in Hollywood. I’m not expecting a major leap, but I can see the trend expanding.

You’re right. Debbie Doebereiner’s career didn’t go anywhere – although do I really need to point out all the no-names who started careers out of nowhere? – but Debbie didn’t do Dallas or have a major brand machine behind her. Some porn stars are already household names, even if some men and women would feign ignorance. They just have to transfer that stardom credit over into a new bank. So I’ll leave with this thought and let you get the final word in: these porn stars have opened the door for others, if others successfully bridge the gap, the World of Porn and the World of Mainstream Film might have to replace that bridge with a superhighway.

ROB: No denial here, just a recognition of the obvious. Porn stars won’t get major roles, and Grey’s role in Soderbergh’s film is far from major. It’s also not the third in a series of cross-overs… porn stars have been showing up in the mainstream for years. The best example, and possibly the strongest argument you failed to use, is Traci Lords. From porn to soft-core to genre films to a recurring role on Roseanne. She’s the singular exception to the rule that will never change, but even she couldn’t move beyond the confines of a waning white-trash sitcom.

Your argument is as empty as your bed, and this trend is non-existent. Folks may recognize porn star names, but they recognize them from, wait for it, porn. No doors have been opened any further than they have been for years, but do they really need to be? Porn stars are already stars in their chosen field. If they were as good at acting as they are at taking it up the ass then this wouldn’t even be an issue.

Sorry Cole, but while porn stars will continue to show up in mainstream films it will be in minor roles only. The only bank they can move their “pornstar credits” to is a sperm bank. They’re the ones in line behind you.

Final Verdict

As usual, we have to leave the final verdict up to you. Do you see a trend starting with porn stars in major motion pictures? Could the trend be a game-changer? Be sure to sound off in the comments section.

Oh Yeah, We’re Doing Porn Week

Dr. Cole Abaius — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 03:23:25 +0000

So we’ve already introduced you to Porn Week with our Top Ten Sex Scenes, but that’s just the foreplay. For some reason – whether it be that a porn-themed film from sexy beast Kevin Smith coming out on Friday or that fact that Neil foolishly left the FSR offices for a burrito, and we locked him out. Now we’re posting whatever we want, drinking milkshakes and watching Neil try to break into his own office. He’ll never give up!

Will our feature change the world? Will it be more important than the home stretch of the Presidential election? Will it bring the people together in such a way that revolutionizes the way we think about existence and our role in it? We’re not kidding ourselves.

Of course it will.

Because ten years from now, people won’t remember who the President was or what national crises were going down, but they will remember this feature and the time they spent getting to know it, the relationship they built, and the eventual marriage that took place.

So be prepared to fall in love this week. Or at least, enjoy some really good sex in film.

Really Good Sex: The 10 Hottest Sex Scenes On Film

FSR Staff — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 00:31:15 +0000

The beauty of film is its ability to portray the moments of life both quiet and heated. The part of life we think about the most, the one we obsess about, the one we should be doing more is having sex. Rough and sweet, fast and fragile, down and dirty. It’s not always pretty, but it’s always beautiful.

We here at Film School Rejects felt it fitting that we kick off Porn Week by examining what we felt were the ten best sex scenes committed to celluloid – at least the ones that were released to theaters, but we’re sure your private collection is just as awe-inspiring.

Without further ado, let’s get down to it.

10. Damage

Jeremy Irons lusts after Juliette Binoche and shows it by fucking her on every hard surface in his house. And make no mistake, the duo is not making love, they’re fucking. One scene starts on his desk before moving to a stand-up position against his counter top and, eventually, the floor. Binoche is on her back with her feet up around Irons’ neck, her thigh-high stockings rubbing against his face as he thrusts into her French patisserie, gently knocking her head against the floor each time. Her moans begin to match the impacts until finally they both stop happily and simultaneously… and then they move to the bed.

9. Secretary

Maggie Gyllenhaal and James Spader have built up considerable sexual tension by the time she makes an intentional error in typing and is ordered to come into his office. “Put your elbows on the desk. Bend over. Get your face close to the letter. And read it aloud.” She does as instructed and is surprised by a loud, hard, and electrifying smack to her backside. Her expression is one of shock and arousal, and as she continues to read, he continues to spank. It’s kinky and romantic, and as he collapses against her in orgasm her pinkie finger moves to lay across his hand. As erotically odd as this scene is, it pairs up nicely with the film’s ending as one of the most beautiful sex scenes ever. Spader carries her home, bathes her, lays her out on some indoor grass, caresses her smiling and nude body, and makes love to her as only a pre-portly Spader can.

8. Brokeback Mountain

One of the hottest things is when sexual attraction ignites out of nowhere. It rarely happens in real life, but it happens a lot in films – one of the best examples is the spur-of-the-moment passion that’s shared between Ennis and Jack. Shoved together in a tent barely big enough for one person, the two are almost mid-coitus before realizing it. It’s raw, unthinking, and beautiful. It’s also filmed simply, with Ang Lee opting for the sound of rustling blue jeans and animalistic grunts filling the entire soundscape.

7. Boys Don’t Cry

Even though the only part of HIllary Swank that’s even in this scene is her hand as it caresses Chloe Sevigny’s entire upper body, the heat comes from that body writhing under the cunning tongue work Swank is performing just offscreen. Sevigny’s facial expressions are soft and intense, her breath rising and falling faster and faster until the shot becomes a close up of her face as she releases. Definitely Oscar-worthy work.

6. Bolero

Bo Derek is currently better known for her political leanings than for her acting, but for a brief stint in the eighties she was known for being a perfect ten. Bolero is an absolutely terrible movie but it features quite a bit of Derek in the nude. If nothing else though, it gave us the honey scene. A nude and candle-lit Derek has golden honey poured across her lean yet busty body. As the honey slowly rolls down and in between her breasts, stomach, and thighs, her Arabian lover begins to lick and kiss the nectar from her skin. Technically the scene may not end with sex, as the dude inexplicably falls asleep, but screw it… the way her stomach undulates up to his mouth, the honey dripping from his lips and face… it looks like sweet, messy sex.

5. Lust, Caution

After some shockingly rough sex early on, where Tony Leung whips Wei Tang with his belt before binding her arms and taking her from behind, things get more tender, romantic, and elastic. The duo meet in their motel room, disrobe, and begin a lengthy session of sex that would make members of Cirque du Soleil wince. The positions Leung and Wei inhabit alternate between sexy, challenging, arousing, and obvious CGI. Him on top, her on top, both on top, etc. Per Wikipedia, the ten minutes of sex took over one hundred hours to shoot making us think Ang Lee is a bit dirtier than we realized.

4. Unfaithful

Diane Lane is not just one of the hottest women over 40 in Hollywood, she’s one of the hottest women period. She’s especially hot when heatedly rushed into a lunchroom quickie that involves groping hands flying over her white panties, hurried breathing, and her colleagues just a few feet away enjoying their salads. Her facial expressions alone is enough to raise the blood pressure level of an audience, and the flirtatious note of her friend noticing her button being undone when she returns to the table further highlights how sexy the danger of being caught and having a secret can be.

3. Betty Blue

A film with more nudity in it than necessary (if there is such a thing), there’s still nothing quite as shocking, sweet and sensual as the opening scene – a lengthy, unflinching look at the two main lovers glued to each other and grinding closer and closer to orgasm. The audience is thrust into the copulation just as it reaches a fever, and with his hand sliding up between her thighs, and her hand following, the pair begin trembling, tightening, and by the time she bites his shoulder, you realize this might be the best opening scene in film history.

2. Risky Business

Tom Cruise has ordered a prostitute for a house call, and after the first one ends up being a dude he finally gets it right with Rebecca De Mornay. She stands before the window seat, beside the porch doors and says “Are you ready for me?” Cruise comes behind her and as she undoes her button-up dress, he moves his hands up her legs and across her bare hips until they reach her exposed breasts. The porch doors burst open with a fierce wind, and she arches her basically naked body into him in the most perfectly poetic form imaginable, the curves of her bare ass pressing into the front of his pants… He spins her around, lifts a leg to his waist and we see two short scenes of sex on the stairs and sex in a chair. We know – the train scene is hot, but upon a second viewing, the living room is much, much hotter. This and the Phoebe Cates’s red bikini scene from Fast Times at Ridgemont High are probably responsible for more teen masturbatory release than all other films combined.

1. 9 1/2 Weeks

The food scene is legendary and hot as hell. It’s a combination of perfect trust, a couple having fun, and suggestion that slips beyond the pale. There’s nothing like Kim Basinger’s eager awaiting mouth ready to taste and swallow the next item Mickey Rourke has for her. The symbolism is striking, leaving everything and nothing to the imagination. It’s unmistakable as Kim feels the length of a jalapeno with her tongue then pours milk down her throat, letting it spill down her cheeks and chin. Of course, this is followed up by Rourke jerking a seltzer bottle until it explodes all over her face, chest and between her thighs. As soon as you think it’s at the peak of sensuality, Kim sticks out her tongue as Rourke squirts honey onto it, and as it covers her legs, he slides his hands from her knees toward her sweet spot.

Hit the Cold Showers

There are a ton of scenes out there, so it was almost impossible to pick a top ten. However, we did our best. If we missed anything, let us know – we’re sure our writers won’t mind checking to see if you’re right. After all, a little extra research never killed anybody.

Editor’s Note: This list was compiled by staff writers Cole Abaius and Rob Hunter.

Film School Rejects » Porn Week

The Top Six To Nine Movies to Watch While F*cking

Related Reading:

A Peek at Porn Star Cameos in Mainstream Films

Related Reading:

Shouting Match: Can Porn Stars Change the Mainstream?

Opening Statements

The Rebuttal

Closing Arguments

Final Verdict

Related Reading:

Oh Yeah, We’re Doing Porn Week

Related Reading:

Really Good Sex: The 10 Hottest Sex Scenes On Film

Related Reading: