Hollywood is Dumb

We can’t make this stuff up — seriously. Variety is reporting today that David Hasselhoff and High School Musical’s Lucas Grabeel will headline Beverly Hills Ninja 2.

It’s been common and unfortunate knowledge for a few years that a remake of John Carpenter’s classic, The Thing, was in development somewhere in Hollywood. Since that initial announcement there’s been nothing new to report. Until now.

Max Payne has been hit with an ‘R’ rating by the Motion Picture Association of America, and director John Moore is more than a little irked.

Fox has a legitimate court case against Warner Brothers for making Watchmen. Hopefully we can shed a little light on why.

Over the years I did manage to sneak a peek at several of these illustrated books, and one series in particular caught my eye. That series was Preacher, and between the bright, breathing art of Steve Dillon and the sharp and hilarious writing of Garth Ennis.

As far as I know, Kevin Smith hasn’t really seen Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen yet. It’s still filming so I wouldn’t expect this headline to come true for another few months.

Due to the overwhelming audience response to the recent The Mummy: The Tomb of the Dragon Emperor, Rob Cohen and friends are already planning (threatening?) to birth a fourth film in the family friendly franchise.

Disaster Movie appears to be a spoof on films such as The Day After Tomorrow and An Inconvenient Truth, but you wouldn’t know that from this new trailer, or the new poster.

It appears that that the ratings board of the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) is on the warpath once again, using their strong liberal bias to limit the amount of sex between a man and a woman that appears in movie theaters across the country.

Here they come again! Those cinematic geniuses who brought you Scary Movie, Date Movie, Epic Movie, and Meet the Spartans now plan to hit you smack in the face with Disaster Movie.

Rumors are starting to emerge that Superbad star Jonah Hill turned down a role in Transformers 2 in order to avoid being typecast. This is only interesting when we consider that he is signed on for another Apatow film.

When Ridley Scott presses his eye up to the lens, he’s a genius. He leaves audiences speechless whether from the irrational fear of alien attack or the hauntingly beautiful imagery of a wheat field in a memory. When he opens his mouth for an interview, he leaves us at a loss for words for a different reason.

I’m still waiting for someone to make Ghetto Movie, which will star Jack Black as a young Hispanic man, just trying to make a life in the hoods of Orlando, Florida.

And if that sounds disgusting, well, it just might be.