Film School Rejects » Essential Viewing

Tommy Lee Jones and Sam Jackson Team Up for Sunset Limited

Paul Sileo — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 15:22:01 +0000

Looks like my man Tommy Lee Jones just can’t stay away from the works of Cormac McCarthy. After starring in the Coen Brother’s adaptation of McCarthy’s novel No Country for Old Men (which, as we all know, won the Oscar for Best Picture) and himself adapting the novel Blood Meridian, Jones has set his sights on directing and starring in Sunset Limited, an adaptation of McCarthy’s play of the same name, for HBO. According to the folks over at Variety, Jones will be joined by badass motherfucker Samuel L. Jackson, whose character saves a man (Jones) from throwing himself in front of a subway. McCarthy’s script, which he adapted himself, follows the two very different men has they discuss their life’s worth in what I imagine to be a sort of existential pissing contest.

As a huge fan of McCarthy and Jones, I think this is one to keep on our radar. HBO is obviously known for quality productions, and I think Jones is a great choice to handle the type of story and environment McCarthy is known for. I loved Jones’ first feature film directorial outing The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada, so I’m delighted to see him once again hopping behind the camera. He’s also one of my favorite actors, and the addition of Samuel L. Jackson just ups the acting ante, in my opinion. With any other pair and any other script, it would be easy to write off the seemingly cliché story of two men from different sides of the tracks debating the meaning of life, but McCarthy isn’t just any writer and both Jackson and Jones easily have the weight to anchor a solid character piece.

Production on Sunset Limited will begin next month in New Mexico.

Relax: 20 Films From the 80s That Aren’t Being Remade

Dr. Cole Abaius — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 19:37:20 +0000

Over the past few months, I’ve felt like my job was merely to report which films were getting remade. And a lot of the victims come from the 1980s. After dropping news that Footloose, Karate Kid, Conan the Barbarian, Short Circuit, Flight of the Navigator, Little Shop of Horrors, Masters of the Universe, Bright Lights Big City, They Live, Red Dawn, Top Gun, The Warriors, Robocop, and about a dozen more were getting the remake treatment, I was starting to get depressed. Christ, that’s a long list.

So I know you were. In fact, you should have called me so we could listen to The Cure and eat a Pizza Hut Meat Lover’s topped with Rocky Road Ice Cream together.

But instead of being all sad and blue, I’ve decided to look on the bright side by taking a look at more than a handful of films that haven’t been slated for remakes yet. I realize that you’d be able to find news of a remake for just about anything these days, but so far these titles haven’t had serious studios looking at them (or the productions that tried have already fallen apart).

What should make you even happier to know is that I had a tough time whittling it down to just 20. It turns out there are a lot of movies left from the 1980s that haven’t been pillaged yet. Hopefully I can put a smile back on your face by reminding you that there are still a few things sacred in this world. Here they are, in no particular order:

20. Sixteen Candles

With the fixation on teenagers and teenage problems and teenage underwear, I’m almost shocked that an executive out there hasn’t pitched revamping the film for the sole purposes of getting a bunch of sexy sixteen years old all trying to sleep with other. And, of course, they’d be trying to sleep with the hot Asian exchange student who brings racing and Tokyo drifting to the campus fad collection. Then all hell breaks loose on Spring Break or something.

19. The Sword and the Sorcerer

Massive battles, an epic adventure, and a three-bladed sword? What’s not to love about this science fiction fantasy? It’s gained a serious cult following which is exactly the kind of reason that Hollywood would want to tap it for a remake. It’s not nearly well-known enough for people to get outraged, the fans that are outraged will still go see it out of curiosity, and the studio could plunder the name-recognition and general love for fantasy going around these days. The only reason they haven’t, I think, is that they heard King Richard tell Talon, “If they remake this film, it falls on you to avenge me.” And no one wants Talon coming after them.

18. Popeye

A comic property of such recognizable stature that could feature the talents of some super popular comedian du jour – it’s almost absurdly naive to believe that some exec somewhere deep in the bowels of Hollywood isn’t drooling over this right now. Still, it seems for now that we’re safe from seeing Popeye 2012 where Jim Carrey dons fake biceps and a corncob pipe in order to save the world from imminent destruction.

17. Blue Lagoon

I’m not sure what the original pitch for this film was, but it must have been something. Two attractive kids grow up on an island learning to survive on their own, racing sharks, and doing it with each other despite being totally related. Sort of. What male growing up in the 80s didn’t instantly grow up after watching Brooke Shields go through puberty on screen? Although it could be argued that the sequel was basically the same movie done all over again, there’s no earnest attempt to bring this one back – at least not outside of the soft-core porn world. Plus, I doubt studios would let a fifteen year old get all naked on screen these days. Oh damn, they’re going to do it with Miley Cyrus aren’t they? Aren’t they?!

16. Soul Man

When Robert Downey Jr kept getting praise for putting on blackface last year, all I could think about was when C. Thomas Howell was going to get his due credit. It’s enough to make you wonder if the film was remade today, if controversy would still crop up. After all, the production got into major trouble for filming at Harvard without permission! Oh, and for being really offensive to some in the African American community. So what young, up-and-coming young actor wants to throw on some blackface and go to college? Zac Efron? Chace Crawford? Anyone?

15. The Blues Brothers

Thank the Lord on High that this flick hasn’t been remade. We came really close with Blues Brothers 2000, but so far we haven’t had to endure anyone thinking they could don the black suits and glasses to go on a mission from God. Even if Ghostbusters III helps out Dan Akroyd’s career, I think he learned his lesson with 2000 - that you just can’t do it without Belushi. Hopefully no one else is foolish enough to think otherwise.

14. A Christmas Story

Is there any commercial viability to remaking a movie that plays for 24 hours straight on TNT every Christmas? Probably. It’s a really celebrated film featuring almost no known actors, a host of memorable moments, and a ton of quotable lines that some screenwriter out there is convinced he can improve upon. Plus, I’m sure there’s a studio producer out there that believes the moment he flashes a leg lamp on the screen, the audience will be won over.

13. Stand By Me

Coming of age stories are always going to be popular, especially if it’s the starting point for four careers. I thought about including The Outsiders (which also hasn’t been remade) on this list as well for that very reason. It’s a sweet story, brilliantly told through the genuine eyes of young men, and it being remade would be tantamount to The Sandlot being remade. So let’s keep our fingers crossed.

12. Das Boot

Can you imagine what would happen if Wolfgang Petersen’s fantastic film was turned into an action flick starring Matthew McConaughey? Me too, which is why I’m really thankful that this one is staying off the remake docket. Of course, the author of the book that the film was based off thought Petersen’s version was a cheap action flick and has sought to get an American studio to take another whack at it. So who knows what the future may bring.

11. Caddyshack

Yes, the hat does come with a free bowl of soup. No, this movie isn’t looking to be remade. If it was, it would probably be a shameful collusion of comedic talent coming together to try to out-ego each other. I’m not saying that the original didn’t work because of that very reason, but the egos just seem a bit bigger these days. So are the paydays. Can you imagine paying out $40 million just to bring the talent together for a blockbuster comedy hit of the summer! It’s about golf! And teen pregnancy! And candy bars in the pool! Thankfully, no one is pitching this, probably because we already have Caddyshack II to torture us.

10. Labyrinth

Don’t think it could happen? That’s what people said until we heard rumblings of that Rocky Horror Picture Show remake. I can almost guarantee that there’s a producer out there that grew up with this movie and wants to see a remake done with Jennifer Connelly playing the evil Jaretha the Goblin Queen. If you do a quick search, you’ll see that they’re remaking another film called Labyrinth, but so far this one is too treacherous a ground to walk on for studios wishing to avoid falling into the Bog of Eternal Stench.

9. Little Monsters

Yet another entry tailor-made for a remake, Little Monsters is known enough to carry water, but not famous enough for too many people to even realize what they’re watching is a remake. That’s the perfect balance. Luckily, no one has noticed that balance yet or no one cares. Either way, I’m glad that Howie Mandel’s recent success hasn’t spawned the studio think tanks into envisioning him with horns on again.

8. Beetle Juice

Not only is it a good thing that no one is interested in a remake, it’s a good thing that the sequel fell apart. Beetlejuice Goes Hawaiian told the story of the Deetzes heading to the island chain to open a resort that happened to be on an old burial ground. When they start getting haunted, Beetlejuice saves the day by winning a surfing competition. I shit you not. As Kevin Smith once famously said, “Must we go tropical?” Luckily, no one even wants to return to the original, so give thanks.

7. The Princess Bride

Oh, the big one. If there was ever a movie to be happy about not being remade, it’s this. Any attempt to catch lightning in a bottle again – the blend of actors, story and direction that came together perfectly for this comedy – would undoubtedly pale in comparison to the original. Hell, any attempt to remake this movie would probably pale in comparison to 13 Going on 30. This is one of the most beloved movies of the generation, if not all time, and it would take a particularly egotistical, delusional moron to think he could bring it back. Good thing Hollywood doesn’t have any producers like that.

6. Real Genius

Is it wrong of me to love this movie simply for the moment where Knight gives a student a demonstration of gravity by slamming his books to the ground? Didn’t think so. This is one of those campy, fantastic, really average movies that fit the mold for what studios are looking for when it comes to remakes. Plus, Val Kilmer is still around to do a cameo or to, seriously, play a professor or something.

5. The Goonies

Sacred ground. If you breathed a sigh of relief that no one is talking about a Princess Bride remake, you should breath double for this one. Richard Donner and Sean Astin have both talked about doing a sequel – in fact, they’ve both talked about being passionate about doing one – but I imagine fans would love a sequel while hating the prospect of a remake. Think of it – Data’s wacky antics would all be done with an iPhone.

4. Revenge of the Nerds

In the height of realism in the 1980s, a group of nerds who is constantly picked on eventually triumphs, and a guy with a horrible overbite has sex with the hottest blonde on campus. That may or may not have been the plot to High School Musical 3, I didn’t see it, but so far there’s only been one poorly executed attempt at bringing back Lewis, Gilbert and Booger. So let’s all rejoice that McG wasn’t able to get his remake (with Adam Brody and Kristin Cavallari!) through the finish line.

3. Purple Rain

It’s no secret that Prince is an insane person. But he’s an insane person that makes incredible music and, once upon a time, made a brilliantly awesome movie that spawned one of the worst sequels of all time. All in a day’s work for the planet’s sexiest Jehovah’s Witness (sorry, Jedidiah). Maybe because it’s too insane to attempt to tackle, or maybe because studios just don’t want to see naked women jumping into lakes or dudes getting tossed into dumpsters, no one has publicly claimed to be returning to this source material. Except for Ne-Yo. So, yeah, no one.

2. Chariots of Fire

Maybe it’s a strange entry considering that the theme song is far more pop-culturally popular, but it’s a story about triumph and not running fast on Sundays. Hollywood loves that sort of thing. The original film grabbed four Academy Awards including Best Picture. If it sounds too iconic to remake, just remember that nothing is too iconic to remake. Plus, American audiences are probably totally ready again for a film that’s titled from a line in a William Blake poem.

1. Mad Max

Sure there have been some rumblings about a sequel to the cult Aussie flick, but so far there haven’t been any whispers about attempting to remake it. On the one hand, that seems odd considering how obsessed Hollywood has been with post-apocalyptic wastelands lately (like Imagine That). On the other, how do you bring back the MFP’s top pursuit man without angering fans or turning off audiences that don’t know the film?

A Final Thought

Hopefully I’ve offered a gentle reminder that there are still a ton of great 80s movies out there that aren’t being targeted for modernized ruination. Sadly, there are some out there that will ultimately come down the pipeline to boos and outrage only to get the mediocre take of the box office that the studios aimed for in the first place. Sadly, while researching this, I actually discovered that there are remakes circling around for Scanners, Porky’s and Terror Train. In fact, Terror Train may have already been remade, but I’m not sure if Train counts.

So, sure, there are a decent amount of films being remade, and it seems like we announce a new one every week but remember 1) not all of those are going to make it all the way through the production process and 2) there are still a lot of classic films that remain untouched. So celebrate! But remain cautious.

The 7 Must-See Monster and Alien Movies of the 1950s

Dr. Cole Abaius — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 04:30:35 +0000

As everyone knows, there are only three simple joys in life: making love to a beautiful woman, getting a tax refund, and watching campy sci-fi films from the 1950s. This is indisputable. Luckily, since Monsters vs. Aliens is coming out on Friday (and Alien Trespass is coming out the next week), we have an arbitrary excuse to plop down on the couch with some of our favorite selections and check out the glory of a genre that’s being parodied by Dreamworks. Crappy UFO effects, paper-thin plot lines, cartoonish pro-American fervor, regional-theater level acting, and questionable relationships between older men and young boys that seemed perfectly innocent at the time. I challenge anyone to find a better group of movies. Go ahead, give it a shot. I’ll wait.

See? Of course you couldn’t do it. But now that you’re back, let’s get on with a list of movies that either directly or indirectly gave rise to this week’s animated release:

Attack of the 50-Foot Woman (1958)

The Tagline: A titanic beauty spreads a macabre wave of horror! A terrifying masterpiece of shock and chills!

The Pitch: With the success of other films featuring the growth or shrinking of an otherwise normal person, Attack of the 50-Foot Woman was a hallmark in putting a woman in the main role as the monster. You can tell by its 4.8/10 rating on IMDB that it’s a brilliantly misunderstood piece of cinema, far above the heads of most audiences. It spins a classic tale of a scorned wife who seeks revenge on her husband…after growing to outlandish proportions and meeting some aliens. Shakespeare couldn’t have written a more universal story. Face it, we’ve all been there.

The Impact: It seems pretty clear that the character of Ginormica in MvA is an homage (if not an outright theft) of Nancy Archer from 50-Foot Woman. Although it looks like she’ll be using her powers for the greater good instead of just taking her cheating husband to task.

The Blob (1958)

The Tagline: Beware of the Blob! It creeps, and leaps, and glides and slides across the floor.

The Pitch: The original working title for The Blob was The Glob that Girdled the Globe. For some reason, the filmmakers foolishly changed the name, not realizing the frightening power inherent in alliteration. Nevertheless, this truly incredible movie has a distinct place in history as being at the beginning for two iconic stars: Steve McQueen and Burt Bacharach. Okay, and Hal David, too. It also has the distinction of having one of the coolest scenes in all 50s B-moviedom – an early scene where an elderly man goes out to investigate a meteorite, only to open it up to find an oozing being. That oozing glob jumps on his hand, causing him to panic and run into the road where he’s hit dead on by Steve McQueen’s car. If you wanna read deeply into it, the blob is also a great metaphor for the way movements attract and consume people. But try not to think too deeply while actually watching this bad boy.

The Impact: Seth Rogen is voicing a formless blob of goo named B.O.B. in MvA. Although he does have an eyeball and a personality.

The Creature from the Black Lagoon (1954)

The Tagline: Not since the beginning of time has the world beheld terror like this!

The Pitch: This movie was so good that it spawned two sequels and attacked audiences in glorious 3D. In a rare move away from aliens attacking or dropping innocent-seeming goo on the planet, this movie explored what happens when science gets out of the labratory and heads up the Amazon. What happens, apparently, is that a huge fish-human attacks the shit out of you in one of the best rubber suits of all time. The only question I have is about the tagline. “Not since the beginning of time?” What happened at the beginning of time that was so terrifying? I demand a movie be made about it.

The Impact: Yet another character inspiration – The Missing Link in MvA is a fishy-type creature that walks upright yet doesn’t seem to be in a rubber suit at all. Also, he’s being voiced by Will Arnett meaning he’ll probably also have lighter fluid up his sleeve – making him even more dangerous a foe.

The Fly (1958)

The Tagline: If she looked upon the horror her husband had become…she would scream for the rest of her life!

The Pitch: This is one of my favorite movies of all time for one very simple reason – Vincent Price. In the original version, the scientist is testing out a teleportation device when things go terribly awry and his body is spliced with that of a fly. Brilliantly, the story is told in flashbacks as his wife explains why she had to kill him – because he’d become a monster who begged to be put out of his misery. In one of the better movie twists, Price’s character and the scientist’s son end up finding the fly who originally flew into the chamber trapped in a spider web. What happens next, I wouldn’t want to ruin, but I have a strong inclination that you’ll scream for the rest of your life. Something tells me.

The Impact: Although it’s not as direct, or maybe it is, the character of Dr. Cockroach PhD in MvA seems at least borrowed from this concept. Either that, or its just a horrific, animated version of Gregor Samsa, and I would hope Dreamworks would realize that children hate Kafka references.

The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951)

The Tagline: A robot and a man…hold the world spellbound with startling powers from another planet!

The Pitch: Ah, the grandfather of them all. This flick is in the pantheon of all-time sci-fi greats. It manages to be earnestly frightening despite being terribly, terribly campy. And despite the awkward relationship between Klaatu and Bobby. He’s an adult alien from another planet wanting to hang out with a young boy. Nothing wrong with it people. Now stop giggling and calling Child Protective Services. Say what you will about the film holding up over time, but there’s not many images as striking as Gort standing against that spaceship – a hunk of metal unmoved by the plight of man.

The Impact: I have no idea whether characters were spawned from this stunning masterpiece, but the campy feel and tone of the trailers seems obviously influenced by The Day the Earth Stood Still and others of its kind. The smiling, glad-handy, hair-parted government officials and the complete fervent support of the United States. If anything, the inclusion of Stephen Colbert as the voice of the President leads me to believe we’ll see some major shades of the Earth standing still.

The Thing From Another World (1951)

The Tagline: Howard Hawks’ Astounding Movie

The Pitch: Despite a severe lack of exclamation points in the tagline, The Thing is a brilliant film that balances its cheesy effects work with strong acting. If the premise of a group of scientists encountering an alien menace in the arctic seems familiar, it’s because the film was remade by John Carpenter in 1982. Or you happened to have read the novella, “Who Goes There?” that it was based off. As a hallmark of the time, the film begins with a group of scientists investigating some sort of aircraft that has crashed down. They then go on to accidentally thaw out a monstrous presence with an electric blanket – the 1950s version of the Snuggie.

The Impact: The sensibilities of the film ride alongside those of The Day the Earth Stood Still although the films are very different in feel. With the beginning of the Korean War and a propaganda campaign against communism well underway in the country, the theme of Americans fighting (and triumphing) over a soulless, unwavering force seems like an obvious correlation. Plus, The Thing gives us the presence of a straightforward yet compassionate military leader in the form of Captain Patrick Hendry.

Earth vs. The Flying Saucers (1956)

The Tagline: Before you scoff at flying saucers – see the the greatest SHOCK film of all time!

The Pitch: The United States government has proven itself to be a reckless, idiotic entity from time to time in films, but with this one, they accidentally fire upon a group of aliens, leading said aliens to kill everyone at the scientific test site save two. The resulting events compound until the saucers are attacking every major city on the planet. The best part about this film, as well as it being in line with the tone of other alien B-movies, is that Ray Harryhausen did all of the UFO effects, so they are actually really cool.

The Impact: The use of the word ‘versus’ in a title.

Also for consideration: Invaders From Mars, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, It Came From Outer Space, When Worlds Collide, The Day of the Triffids, Plan 9 From Outer Space, and Killers from Outer Space – we could go on and on, but all of these films have the same basic impact on Monsters vs Aliens, namely the same sensibilities mentioned above with the other brilliant, totally underrated 1950s (and, fine, some 1960s) sci-fi works.

15 Films You Absolutely Must See at SXSW 2009

FSR Staff — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 03:30:37 +0000

We’ve been through the schedule for the upcoming South by Southwest (SXSW) Film Festival, a few times. In fact between our own scouring of the schedule and the countless emails from publicists, producers and directors — which we like because they make us think that people like us — we are confident that we’ve got a handle on which films you should absolutely see at all costs should you be coming here to Austin this weekend. Therefore we humbly present our definitive list of the 15 Films You Must See at South by Southwest 2009:

The Horseman

When, Christian Forteski’s (Peter Marshall) drug addicted daughter dies after appearing in an amateur Porn Video, he deals with his grief by burning, kicking, smashing and stabbing his way through those responsible. And as you know, we are huge fans of the burning, kicking, smashing and stabbing stuff. Sounds badass. Screening times: Monday March 16th @ 11:30p (Alamo Lamar 2), Tuesday March 17th @ 11:30p (Alamo Lamar 2).

Humpday

Lynn Shelton’s much applauded Sundance debut that follows the journey between two friends (Mark Duplass and Joshua Leonard) and their journey to film the one thing that the people need: two completely heterosexual men having sex on camera. Having seen this ourselves, we can attest to the fact that it is the single most awkward, but fun movie that you will see this year in Austin. Screening times: Sunday March 15th @ 7p (Alamo Ritz 1), Thursday March 19th @ 12p (Paramount).

Make-Out With Violence

If you’re down for a long, strange trip about unrequited love and a young man with the hots for a missing girl who shows back up undead, this movie is a strong bet. It defies being nailed into any specific genre – looking a bit like if Stand By Me ended with the body coming to life, and then the real story started up. It deals with death, friendship, and the perils of having a crush on a zombie. Screening times: Saturday March 14th @ 8p (Alamo Ritz 2), Tuesday March 17th @ 9p (Alamo Lamar 1), Saturday March 21st @ 9:30p (Alamo Lamar 3).

Best Worst Movie

In 1989, unwitting Utah actors starred in the undisputed Worst Movie in History: Troll 2. Two decades later, the legendarily inept film’s child star unravels the improbable, heartfelt story of an Alabama dentist-turned-cult movie icon and an Italian filmmaker who come to terms with this genuine, internationally revered cinematic failure. Now we know that some of you may not have ever heard of Troll 2, but that’s okay. No one’s perfect. Screening times: Saturday March 14th @ 9:30p (Alamo Lamar 1), Monday March 16th @ 4p (Paramount), Friday March 20th @ 9:30p (Austin Convention Ctr).

Observe and Report

Seth Rogen and Anna Faris star in a mall cop comedy that may actually appeal to the readers of this site. No goofy humor, no Kevin James sliding across the floor and getting stuck — this time we get Seth Rogen trying to pick up the make-up counter girl (Faris) who also happens to be a raging drunk lady. It comes from The Foot Fist Way director Jody Hill, so that works perfectly for us. Another thing that works perfectly for us — word on the street is that this movie is everything you wouldn’t expect it to be; very dark, very “f*cked up,” as the kids might say. Screening times: Monday March 16th @ 9:30p (Paramount).

Grace

After losing her unborn child, Madeline Matheson insists on carrying the baby to term. Following the delivery, the child miraculously returns to life, but when the baby develops a desperate appetite for human blood, Madeline is faced with a mother’s ultimate decision. That’s the premise. Here’s something else that matters: people who saw this at Sundance this year were passing out, literally. It’s hardcore horror at its best. Screening times: Saturday March 14th @ 11:59p (Alamo Ritz 1), Tuesday March 17th @ 11:59p (Alamo Ritz 1), Saturday March 21st @ 11:59p (Alamo Ritz 1).

Made in China

Slinkys, Pet Rocks, Ant Farms, behind each of those great novelties is the story of a great Novelty Inventor. And this is a story about one such novelty inventor, a wannabe named Johnson. And in order to get his big idea — a “humorous domestic hygiene product” — into production, he travels to China, where anything is possible and everything has its price. As he attempts to climb into the world of novelty, Johnson quickly finds out that it takes more than a million dollar idea to make it big. Screening times: Sunday March 15th @ 11a (Alamo Ritz 1), Monday March 16th @ 11:30a (Alamo Lamar 2), Thursday March 19th @ 6p (Alamo Ritz 2).

We Live in Public

On the 40th anniversary of the Internet, We Live in Public tells the story of the effect the web is having on our society as seen through the eyes of ‘the greatest Internet pioneer you’ve never heard of,’ visionary Josh Harris. Having seen this movie at Sundance, we can attest to the fact that it fits perfectly in the SXSW lineup. SXSW is a festival flanked by one of the most prominent interactive festivals in the world, and whether you are here for film or interactive, this is a perfect movie either way. It’s compelling and revealing, but also very relevant to the way many of us live our lives on the internet today. Screening times: Tuesday March 17th @ 4:30p (Austin Convention Ctr), Wednesday March 18th @ 11:30p (Paramount).

Ong Bak 2

The first Ong Bak hit the world like a heat-seeking guided missile. A missile in the shape of Tony Jaa, touted as the new Bruce Lee and the can’t-miss martial-arts superstar of his generation. This prequel, set in medieval Thailand, features Jaa as a young nobleman who masters many martial arts disciplines in his journey of revenge. And did we mention that it has Tony Jaa in it? Screening times: Friday March 13th @ 11:59p (Alamo Lamar 1), Sunday March 15th @ 11:59p (Alamo Lamar 2).

Sin Nombre

The Sundance 2009 Directing Award winning debut of Cary Joji Fukunaga, Sin Nombre tells the story of two youths traveling from Central America and Mexico toward the United States border. Standing in their way is a series of challenges, including severe instances of gang violence. We just saw this one this week and can confirm what the reviews from Sundance are correct: this movie is an intense and incredibly well-crafted drama that deserves to be seen. Screening times: Sunday March 15th @ 7:30p (Paramount).

Anvil! The Story of Anvil

At fourteen years old, best friends Steven “Lips” Kudlow and Robb Reiner made a pact to rock together forever. Their band Anvil, hailed as the ‘demi-gods of Canadian metal,’ influenced a musical generation including Metallica, Slayer and Anthrax. Though Anvil never made it, they never stopped playing or believing. And you won’t stop believing in the human spirit either after having seen this amazing doc, quite possibly one of the best I’ve seen in a long time. Screening times: Sunday March 15th @ 10p (Alamo Lamar 3), Wednesday March 18th @ 9p (Alamo Ritz 1).

Lesbian Vampire Killers

Two hapless losers find their idyllic country holiday is shattered by the arrival of an army of thirsty lesbian vampires. It sounds like Shaun of the Dead, but with lesbians vampires instead of zombies. With the promise of gratuitous skin, violence and on screen consumption, Lesbian Vampire Killers was a movie born in the UK, but certainly one made to be shown late-nite at the Alamo Drafthouse. Luck for us, it is playing there next week. Screening times: Monday March 16th @ 11:59p (Alamo Lamar 1), Wednesday March 18th @ 11:30p (Alamo Lamar 2).

True Adolescents

Meet Sam Bryant (Mark Duplass). He’s an aging Seattle rocker with no job, no record deal, and no place to stay until he finds some room at his aunt’s house in the suburbs. He’s also the last guy anyone would pick to take two teens camping for some quality dude time. Mark Duplass has made our list twice for a reason — the man is very funny and has a knack for picking great projects, mumblecore or not. Therefore we are excited to see this movie as well, and you should be too. Screening times: Saturday March 14th @4:30p (Alamo Ritz 1), Sunday March 15th @ 1:30p (Alamo Lamar 2), Saturday March 21st @ 5p (Alamo Ritz 1).

Moon

Sam Rockwell stars as Sam Bell, a contract worker for a corporation with a mining base on the far side of the moon. And after three years of working in the cramped base, Sam is about to go home — but not before some strange, strange situations begin to emerge around him. Now he must question everything about his own existence in order to find a way back home. This is another Sundance holdover — and again, one of the best. Director Duncan Jones has created a fantastic slice of indie sci-fi for anyone who loves (a) a good story or (b) a creatively made film. Screening times: Saturday March 14th @ 7:30p (Paramount).

The Hurt Locker

Forced to play a dangerous game of cat-and-mouse in the chaos of war, an elite Army bomb squad unit must come together in a city where everyone is a potential enemy and every object could be a deadly bomb. Director Kathryn Bigelow brings her intense thriller to SXSW and should be met with much excitement, as the buzz around this one is red hot. Super intense, well-layered and raw action unlike anything you will see all year. Of this, we can promise you. Screening times: Tuesday March 17th @ 6:30p (Paramount).

Honorable Mention: Metropolis with Original, Live Score – The Golden Hornet Project is presenting a special film event, the playing of Fritz Lang’s 1927 classic silent masterpiece Metropolis with the live, original score. While not a regular SXSW film, this is one of those very special events that you really shouldn’t miss. Screening time: Wednesday March 18th @ 2:30p (Alamo Ritz 1)

For more of the best SXSW Film 2009 coverage on the web, keep it locked to our official SXSW ‘09 homepage.

Couch or Curb: Cinematically Test Your Girlfriend’s Love

Dr. Cole Abaius — Sat, 14 Feb 2009 02:45:39 +0000

As is the American tradition, you’re about to be bombarded by Love. Absolutely overwhelmed, punched in the face, anvil to the groin knocked over by the damned thing. You’re also about to be awash in every possible Best Romantic Movie List out there. In protest, we thought about re-running Rob Hunter’s Movies to Watch While F*cking, but instead we’re trying something a little different.

As a single man (I’m picky) who hasn’t been able to trick a girl into dating him for longer than two weeks (I’m intimidatingly handsome), I feel completely qualified in giving you relationship advice. Of course, I only feel qualified doing so cinematically.

This time of year raises questions. Maybe you’re unsure about your lady friend. Maybe you’re convinced she’s The One. Either way, this list will help you face the hard truth about your relationship and (potentially) force you to make some tough decisions. Or it’ll strengthen your love, and you’ll be visited by animated blue birds. Either way.

And it couldn’t be simpler: Pick any (or all) of the films on this list (they range from Easy to LOVE), and if your girlfriend loves it, KEEP HER ON THE COUCH. If she doesn’t, KICK HER TO THE CURB. This may seem harsh, but who doesn’t want a perfect girl you can also curl up on the couch with watching your favorite movies? If you want to ease into the process, start with #10, and if you’re ready to put your love’s feet to the fire, hit her with #1.

A quick note to any ladies reading this: if, in the process, you think, “This isn’t a good test – I love these movies,” it’s not that the list isn’t an accurate gauge, it’s that YOU’RE AN AWESOME GIRL. Immediately find a man who will appreciate you and judge him by Cinematically Testing Your Boyfriend’s Love.

10. Saving Private Ryan (1998)

Beautiful cinematography, brilliant acting, and a fantastic story will draw your girlfriend in although the opening landing on the beach might scare her away. If she thinks the beach landing is awesome, you’ve got quite the girl on your hand, but you should feel lucky just for her to dig the film as a whole. If she doesn’t, why are you wasting time with her?

9. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969)

The consummate tale of two men of honor living through a time when their way of life has become obsolete. All because of that damned bicycle. It shouldn’t be difficult for your girlfriend to love Robert Redford and Paul Newman being handsome and saying witty things while going out in a blaze of glory. Bonus points if she suggests a romantic trip to Bolivia after viewing.

8. Caddyshack (1980)

Contrary to belief, most girls didn’t spend college quoting lines from this movie and Stripes. They also didn’t continue to quote it well into their mid-20s. That’s why if you find a woman who jokingly calls you a tremendous slouch and then wants to blow up gophers, lock that down.

7. True Grit (1969)

John Wayne is a badass. And he wears an eye patch in this film. Those two things may not necessarily appeal to most women, but Rooster Cogburn is a man’s man. And she should appreciate you being a man’s man by emulating Rooster. Drink a lot, swear a ton and be as stubborn as possible. And wear an eye patch.

6. Enter the Dragon (1973)

Right in the middle of the Medium category of difficulty here, there isn’t a whole lot here to appeal to most women. The plot is absolutely ridiculous, and most women do not fantasize about becoming a spy, infiltrating a mad man’s martial arts tournament, and kicking a ton of ass. They normally just fantasize about kicking ass in a general sense, but won’t openly admit it.

5. Fight Club (1999)

It’s hard to believe it’s been ten years since this film came out and gave men everywhere a beacon of hope and a litany of quotes that speak to every middle-class working warrior’s hell. Every man wants to be Tyler Durden, but it’s not clear whether many women want to be his Marla. Nihilism isn’t always sexy. Thus, if a woman turns over after sex and claims she hasn’t been fucked like that since gradeschool, get on one knee and propose immediately. Marriage proposals are always better in the nude.

4. Re-Animator (1985)

Starting off the Difficult category, this film involves vomit-inducing horror imagery and a woman being eaten out by a severed head. Women do not like either. If she stomachs through it but doesn’t fall in love with it, you might want to cut her some slack – but do you really want to have to hide your VHS copy when she comes over?

3. Evil Dead (1981)

The consensus among FSR staffers was that “Evil Dead = Love.” It includes the gruesome, campy horror imagery of Re-Animator, it’s more of a cult phenomenon, and it’s got Bruce Fucking Cambell. Groovy. It turns out that most women aren’t huge fans of watching a woman getting raped by trees, but if you find one that can go quote for quote with you, treat her like a gore princess.

2. The Godfather (1972)

For being the best movie of all time (subjective), I’m always surprised by how many women I know that haven’t seen it or don’t find it all that entertaining. Thus, it’s a no-brainer. It’s one of those movies that when you ask for a girl’s opinion on it, and she says she hasn’t seen it, the natural response is confusion and shock. Really? You haven’t seen it? Don’t like it? There is nothing wrong with a horse head in bed every once in a while, and you deserve a girlfriend that realizes this.

1. The Big Lebowski (1998)

This tops the list because out of all the women I’ve known in my life, only five women I know finished it, and of those, only three loved it. But those three absolutely loved it, of course. For some reason, the story of a slacker, his Viet Nam War vet friend, and a total spinal delving into a world of pornography, nihilists with amphibious rodents and missing Midwestern hotties doesn’t quite appeal to many women. This is our concern, dude. You can comb through a ton of movies, but if your gal doesn’t dig The Dude, you may have to have a serious discussion with her. They are few and far between, but when you find a girl who loves this flick, breathe a sigh of release knowing that you’ve finally found a soul mate.

What do you think? What movies do you use to gauge your interest in a woman?

Couch or Curb: Cinematically Test Your Boyfriend’s Love

Dr. Cole Abaius — Sat, 14 Feb 2009 02:44:30 +0000

I know, ladies. I understand the grand conspiracy – you don’t really give a crap about Valentine’s Day. You don’t care about the schmoopy, lovey-dovey stuff. You don’t care about the stuffed animal with a heart that you’ll probably hide in a closet somewhere or donate to charity. You just like watching your boyfriend sweat, you like watching him pretend that he’s into the feminine side of things for just a day, you like torturing him knowing that you are the true masters of the universe.

It’s evil, but I can respect it.

However, the side effect of this time of year is that it puts a lot of relationships in perspective. It makes you start to wonder if your mate is really the best you can do. After all, you dropped a few pounds in January – when’s the last time he opted for the salad?

In the spirit of that inquiry, we’re offering a handy, totally proven, scientifically formed list to check whether your man is up to par. Maybe he’s about to propose or maybe you just need to see if he’s worth a second date. Have no fear! This completely legitimate and in-no-way-arbitrary list will help you decide beyond a shadow of a doubt just how into him you should be.

And it couldn’t be simpler: Pick any (or all) of the films on this list (they range from Easy to LOVE), and if your boyfriend happily watches it with you, he’s a keeper. If he watches it reluctantly, he’s a good guy – just needs a little work. If he won’t watch it with you, KICK HIM TO THE CURB. Seriously. You deserve better than that. If you want to ease into the process, start with #10, and if you’re ready to put your love’s feet to the fire, hit him with #1.

Confused, yet? Great! Here’s the list!

A quick note to any gentlemen reading this: if, in the process, you think, “This isn’t a good test – I’d definitely watch these with my girlfriend,” it’s not that the list isn’t an accurate gauge, it’s that you’re a really quality catch. Immediately find a woman who will appreciate you and judge her by Cinematically Testing Your Girlfriend’s Love.

10. Pretty Woman (1990)

Every so often you’ll have a guy admit to liking this movie. Mostly, they watch it alone, claiming it’s on in the background or they use Julia Roberts being a hooker as a valid excuse to watching the whole thing. Still, a guy should be up for spending the evening with this in the DVD player, even if he won’t conquer his fear of heights by climbing a fire escape to come get you.

9. Titanic (1997)

Oh, Titanic. The first film I ever made out with a girl at. It has a special nostalgic place, but can you blame guys for not being open about liking a film whose tagline is “A woman’s heart is a deep ocean of secrets?” Plus, every guy is still pissed that it beat out L.A. Confidential for Best Picture in 1997. If he’s down to watch it with you, show your appreciation by letting him draw you naked.

8. Pride and Prejudice (2005)

Really any incarnation of this adaptation will make guys run for the hills. It’s long, dry, and way too British. It’s a love story where flirtation and hand holding is socially scandalous, so men know going into it that Elizabeth Bennet and her sisters definitely aren’t getting naked. Also, there are zero, count ‘em, zero explosions. It is, in most male eyes, the stay-at-home version of going to the opera.

7. Dirty Dancing (1987)

Swayze! Moving into the medium level difficulty, not only does this film feature a ton of dancing (which doesn’t seem all that dirty) and a story about a young woman blossoming, it also takes a bad ass icon who tore a guy’s face off in Roadhouse and puts him in tights. If your guy is down to watch this just to spend time with you, you’re headed toward taking him home to mom. Bonus if he reenacts the “Sylvia and Mickey/Come here loverboy” scene with you afterward.

6. The Cutting Edge (1992)

Yes, most guys know what you’re referring to when you say, “Toepick!!” but the bulk of men are not going to flock to a film where a hardcore hockey player is completely domesticated steadily throughout the film. Also, it’s still unclear as to why Moira Kelly’s Kate is worth pursuing since she’s admittedly a spoiled ice princess.

5. Sleepless in Seattle (1993)

Yes, we’re getting serious here. The prototypical tearjerker. Men hate movies where they need to bring a box of tissues unless they also wear a trench coat to see it. It’s hard to concentrate on the characters when sobbing and sniffling is filling the air. The transcendent nature of love bends the limits of believability so that the only hope for your boyfriend is that you won’t notice his snoring over your own snot-filled crying.

4. Romeo + Juliet (1996)

Cracking into the Difficult section, Baz Lurhmann’s visual style is arresting, but wallowing through Leonardo’s melodrama and Claire Danes’s boredom style of acting is almost too much for most men. In addition to that, it usually makes guy’s feel inadequate because they didn’t sweet talk you into kissing while staring at you through an aquarium. Also, there’s more climbing involved.

3. How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days (2003)

So far, most of the films have some artistic value to them. Even if most guys groan about having to watch them, there’s still solid writing, good camera work or beautiful people involved. This one only has one of those things. Getting a guy to watch Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan is hard enough, but it’s still much easier than repeating that formula with Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey.

2. Sex and the City (2008)

Whether or not you actually like this movie, which is a decent question since a lot of women were in love with it while others were insulted, you have to admit that testing your man’s resolve by suggesting it on Movie Night is a serious test of love. Unfortunately, you’ll have to figure out whether you having to stomach through it as well is worth the test.

1. Mamma Mia! (2008)

Last year was such a strong year for testing boyfriends. Abba. Musical. Sing-Along. Love story. Wacky Meryl Streep. No male sensibilities were considered when putting this film together. It has somehow launched to the forefront of movies that a large swath of women love yet an almost equal number of men cringe at. This is the nuclear option of testing your love. If a guy claims he loves it, he’s probably lying or you may have another difficult conversation to have – but he at least has to sit through it with you and try to keep the sound of his fingernails digging into the couch to a minimum. Otherwise, dump his ass.

Editor’s Note: You wouldn’t believe how difficult building this list was. I consulted more than a dozen women to help me in the process, and they all had different ideas for what movies should top the bill, what movies’ inclusions would be insulting and which were spot on.

We started with a list of about thirty movies that had to get whittled down to ten, so, no, Breakfast at Tiffany’s, The Princess Bride, and Sixteen Candles didn’t end up making the list. Besides, most guys will openly admit to loving those films.

There was also a consensus that your boyfriend liking Mamma Mia! either meant he was a stone-cold keeper or that he might leave you for your brother. I have a new-found respect for the plight of women movie audiences.

What do you think? What movies do you use to gauge your interest in a man?

Everything That Can Go Wrong: A Brief Look at Terry Gilliam’s Productions

FSR Staff — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 04:38:53 +0000

Terry Gilliam has had the most consistent luck of any director working today. Unfortunately, that luck has always been bad. In fact – not just bad, but catastrophically bad, earth-shatteringly awful, the kind of setbacks that any average filmmaker would curl up and die in the face of. Yet, Gilliam continues to create astounding pieces of art that echo through in creativity, and he still manages a blockbuster every now and again.

Recent news has him working on his next project, The Zero Theorem, but also on the front burner is another crack at tackling The Man Who Killed Don Quixote, a production that seemed doomed to failure from some other power beyond human control. Gilliam seems unafraid, but we Rejects would like to take a look at his past productions and their hardships in order to ultimately predict what will go wrong with his latest adventure tipping at windmills.

Brazil (1985)

This is probably Gilliam’s most well known fiasco (aside from killing Heath Ledger, of course), and it serves as a warning for all the creative souls with pipe dreams hoping to work in Hollywood someday. Brazil is a brilliant satire on bureaucracy, idiocy, and totalitarian governments, which is ironic and greatly enhances the nightmare that followed the film’s completion.

Gilliam turned his 142-minute cut of the film into Universal and was immediately told that it needed editing before it would see a U.S. release. “Too long!” yelled the suits at Universal. “Too dark!” whined the test audiences. (Cole just informed me how similar that sounds to dialogue from Black Dicks, White Chicks Vol.5…) Gilliam flipped both groups the bird and refused to compromise so dramatically. He even took the fight public with a full-page ad in Variety. Universal responded by preparing their new 94-minute cut of the movie behind his back resulting in the infamous and thematically unidentifiable “Love Conquers All” version. Gilliam’s equally sneaky next move was to hold secret screenings of the complete film, and when Brazil was named Best Picture by the Los Angeles Film Critics Association (even though it had yet to officially see any domestic release) Universal finally buckled. Not completely of course… but they did allow Gilliam to release a slightly edited 132-minute version. The entire debacle is detailed nicely on Criterion’s 3-disc DVD release of the film.

An interesting side note, 20th Century Fox handled international distribution and released Brazil in its entirety to both critical and commercial acclaim. A nice reminder that Fox didn’t always suck.

The Adventures of Baron Munchausen (1988)

The time-line for what went wrong with Munchausen is a little fuzzy, but the trouble started almost immediately. Gilliam came out of his experience with Brazil furious and set up a poorly-chosen partnership with producer Thomas Schuhly. It was Schuhly who set up the production in Italy, failing to get anything properly prepared and severely underestimating the cost of the film. Production was moved to Spain, but the financier began growing rightfully concerned, and saddled Gilliam with a production drop dead date.

Later, they would threaten to sue Gilliam when the film wasn’t finished on time, also threatening to replace him in the director’s position – which was absurd because they didn’t have contractual power to do so. With that problem solved, cue the discovery of close to $5 million in unpaid bills being hidden by Schuhly.

The rest of the production was scaled down dramatically as a result, and Sean Connery dropped out of a decent cameo part (he was replaced by Robin Williams who took the role while declining to have his name on the film anywhere). When all was said and done, Columbia reduced the release and Munchausen only saw $8 million in revenue from the US.

Time Bandits 2 **and A Tale of Two Cities (Never)**

In 1994, Gilliam was set to direct Mel Gibson as the lead in an adaptation of A Tale of Two Cities, but Gibson pulled out deciding instead to direct a little film called Braveheart. Despite Gibson being replaced by Liam Neeson, Neeson on the verge of stardom with his role in Schindler’s List, and Gilliam cutting the budget in half, the studio wouldn’t give the go ahead.

After the critical and commercial success of The Fischer King in 1991 and Twelve Monkeys in 1995, Gilliam had his eye on creating a sequel to his 1981 hit Time Bandits despite the deaths of several of the main cast including Dave Rappaport, Jack Purvis and Tiny Ross. Gilliam went to collaborator Charles McKeown, and a story dealing with God ending the world at the millennium was fleshed out. Then the pair ran into trouble securing the rights back from Canadian-based Paragon, and the project lost steam. Every few years, rumors about it being picked up by Gilliam or being created as a BBC serial pop up, but so far nothing has come of it. Very likely, Gilliam lost interested in retooling it after the year 2000 came and passed.

These are just two projects in a long list of aborted productions including The Defective Detective (which would have starred Nicolas Cage), an adaptation of Neil Gaiman’s Good Omens, Theseus and the Minotaur, an adaptation of Philip K. Dick’s A Scanner Darkly, adaptations of the comic Elektra, novel The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy and, of course, Watchmen. This list is in no way exhaustive.

The Man Who Killed Don Quixote (2000 and Forthcoming?)

If there was ever proof that there is a higher power and that it hates Terry Gilliam, the epic fail of The Man Who Killed Don Quixote is it. After two years spent searching for an actor to play Don Quixote, Gilliam chose Jean Rochefort who then spent seven months learning English in order to play the part. Financing seemed solid – especially on the back of Johnny Depp’s involvement – and shooting started in October of 2000. On day one, jet fighters doing drills for a nearby military base made the sound unusable. On day two, a flash flood destroyed the set, a ton of equipment, and the previous days visuals were worthless as the landscape had changed drastically. In the first week, Rochefort experienced pain on set while riding a horse and was diagnosed with a double herniated disc. Foolishly continuing to shoot scenes that didn’t involve Quixote, the project’s death knell came when it became clear that Rochefort wouldn’t be able to continue. Production ended in November 2000.

The only positive thing to come out of the experience was that it was all documented in one of the most bittersweet pieces of film you might ever watch – Lost in La Mancha. Gilliam might as well have been attempting to drag The Fitzcarraldo up a steep cliff on the Amazon river.

The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus (2009)

Of all Gilliam’s troubles and tribulations, this one was the least entertaining. And by least, I mean it was a tragic loss of life that offers very little fodder for porn jokes. Star Heath Ledger died during production, but the film was too far along to simply replace him. What to do? Gilliam (no doubt with pressure from the film’s bonding company) had a radical idea…Ledger’s character steps through a mirror at a certain point of the story to find an alternate reality, and the scenes that were reportedly finished prior to his death included everything before and after he enters that other world. So Gilliam brought in Johnny Depp, Colin Farrell, and Jude Law to all take a crack at playing variations of the character beyond the mirror. Or something. The solution was rather ingenious actually, although we’ll reserve judgment until the movie is released.

And now for something completely different… Our list of Ten Things That Will Go Wrong with Gilliam’s Next Attempt at Quixote:

10. Johnny Depp will suffer a triple herniated disc and be replaced by Colin Farrell.

9. Vendors, actors and crew will complain when foreign financial backers attempt to pay costs with Monopoly money.

8. Gilliam will be unable to afford using windmills as they are all owned by T. Boone Pickens, a man who also doesn’t accept play money as payment.

7. Colin Farrell will be killed in a freak accident involving prop windmills and be replaced by Gary Coleman.

6. Sandworms!

5. Clumsy midgets from the future will travel back in time to the set, and one of them named Vermin will infect the craft services table with E-Coli.

4. Gary Coleman will be incapacitated in an accidental shooting when he’s confused for one of the hilarious, time-traveling, virus-spreading midgets. He will be replaced by Jude Law.

3. The Ghost of Graham Chapman, who has haunted every Gilliam production since 1980, will be forced off the production by a studio hoping to attract the much larger marquee name of The Ghost of Heath Ledger.

2. Jude Law will not die.

1. Production will end, post-production will go swimmingly, and the film will gross less than Tideland did.

Editor’s Note: This list was lovingly compiled by Cole Abaius and Rob Hunter. Hunter contributed the funny paragraphs while Abaius’s are informative and probably involve obscure Werner Herzog references.

Second Editor’s Note: This feature would have been published two weeks ago, but there were several hangups. We’re contemplating doing a feature on all the things that went wrong while attempting to create this feature.

The 13 Best Films of Sundance 2009

Neil Miller — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 05:19:48 +0000

Before I made my trip to Park City, Utah for the 2009 Sundance Film Festival I gave you a list of the 13 films I was most interested in seeing. And now that I’ve come and gone, surviving another year in the hustle and bustle of America’s great festival, it is my duty to bookend my coverage with a list of the best films of this year’s fest. In total, I saw 37 films during the 10 day festival and reviewed them all — for individual reviews, please feel free to head over to my Sundance ‘09 Review Index. Out of those 37 came these 13, the almost undisputed best of the fest. And before we go any further, a disclaimer: If you are one of those nit-picky folks who is going to go back and compare the grades from my reviews to the order of these films, save yourself some time. The grades don’t exactly match — but looking back on the festival as a whole, these are the 13 best films, in order. (Click any of the titles below to see my full review)

13. Don’t Let Me Drown

Authentic and raw, the feature debut from director Cruz Angeles combined a smart, moving story with an amazing cast of youngsters. On the shoulders of their performances, Don’t Let Me Drown established itself quickly as one of the best dramas of the fest. Not to mention one of the best urban dramas we’ve seen in a long, long time. Think Boyz in the Hood meets Romeo and Juliet.

12. Black Dynamite

As predicted, Black Dynamite was funky fresh and filled with laughs. A cleverly written spoof on 70s Blaxploitation, Scott Sanders’ film is a badass throwback to an era of big hair, pimp canes and plenty of kung fu. With a hilarious delivery from the film’s star Michael Jai White and an assortment of fun characters, this movie starts with a burst of energy and never lets up. In the end my theory is that it is best served as midnight fair, but I have a feeling that it will still be enjoyable even when it hits DVD.

11. I Love You Philip Morris

This selection is the first in what will probably be a few romantic comedies on this list. What can I say, it was a really good year for romantic comedies, quirky or otherwise, at Sundance. And for every romantic comedy that did make it onto this list, there were probably 2-3 more that didn’t, but deserved to nonetheless. Philip Morris though, is a special one. Jim Carrey gives one of his career best performances as a resourceful gay conman who falls in love with one of his prisonmates (Ewan McGregor) and risks life, limb and dignity to find a way to be with him. I laughed, I cried (from the laughter, of course) and I was caught off guard by the films clever irreverance. Put simply, its as if the Farrelly Brothers and Coen Brothers teamed up — seriously.

10. The Girlfriend Experience

This year’s Sundance surprise screening — a surprise we all saw coming days in advance — was a look at a rough cut of Steven Soderbergh’s upcoming film The Girlfriend Experience. And despite the fact that Soderbergh’s last “on the fly” film Bubble was a wreck and the fact that he’d cast porn star Sasha Grey in the lead role, this one turned out to be great. The visuals were fantastic, the story was strong and the performance from Ms. Grey was a big surprise. Who knew that porn stars could act? Beyond that, who knew that Steven Soderbergh could actually pull of a solid film with minimal budget and scripting? I for one, was pleasantly surprised.

9. Mary and Max

Its hard to predict whether or not the opening night selection will be good or bad, even though we should assume that it will be good. And this year’s opening night selection, a claymation film about friendship, depression, autism, alcoholism, procreation and turtle flatulance was really something special. Director Adam Elliot’s attention to detail and ambitious storytelling made Mary and Max the perfect offbeat opening night film, setting the tone for a very unique slate of films throughout the entire festival.

8. An Education

Behold the rise of Carey Mulligan, Hollywood’s next ‘it’ girl. In this adapation of a novel by Nick Hornby, Mulligan shines on screen as a 16-year old British schoolgirl who willingly risks her bright future to follow an older, more cultured man into a world of art galleries, hip parties and weekends in Paris. Its a wonderfully directed 60s period piece, showing off a brilliant attention to detail and some amazing performances — not the least of which belonging to Ms. Mulligan.

7. The Yes Men Fix the World

Over the course of the fest’s final weekend I took in a few really awesome documentaries. Among them was the second film from the infamous activist troublemakers known as The Yes Men. In their sophomore effort, these sneaky anti-consumerists take on some of the world’s biggest corporate criminals in some of the most creative ways you could possibly imagine. And all along the way, we get to have a lot of fun as we watch their devious schemes play to near perfection. No matter where you sit on the political fence, there is no denying that these guys have a certain charm about them.

6. Push: Based on a novel by Sapphire

Winner of both the Dramatic Grand Jury Prize and the Audience Award — this doesn’t happen often. But underneath all the acclaim, Lee Daniels’ film is a brutal yet hopeful story told through a few fantastic performances. It is shocking, tragic and at times very intense, but it never loses its amazing energy, making it an overwhelmingly special moviegoing experience. It also gets bonus points for being the first film to prove that Mariah Carey might be able to act.

5. Moon

Sam Rockwell was all over this year’s festival, and for good reason — he had two great performances in two different, but good film. The best of the two was Moon, from director Duncan Jones. A truly amazing achievement in indie filmmaking, Jones crafts the engaging story of a man whose mind begins to slip away as he finishes a 3-year term as the solo operator of a mining station on the surface of the moon. It goes beyond his mental state though, dealing with layer upon layer of interesting themes, including corporate responsibility and genetic manipulation. It’s a must-see for anyone who loves a clever bit of sci-fi in their life.

4. We Live in Public

If you are reading this article, then this is the documentary for you. Before YouTube and MySpace allowed us to sacrifice personal privacy for moments of internet fame, there was Josh Harris. Describes as the greatest internet pioneer you’ve never heard of, Harris is the subject of director Ondi Timoner’s fascinating doc. We follow along as Harris creates a cult-like experiment in a bunker in NYC, broadcasts his relationship and mental meltdowns across a fledgling internet and ultimately becomes so connected to technology that it drives him mad. Its riveting, insightful and for lack of a better word, frightening for anyone who spends their time online.

3. Mystery Team

Many of you were already familiar with the Derrick Comedy group prior to the release of their first feature film. They are the cats that brought us popular online shorts such as “Bro Rape” and “Blowjob Girl.” And while those videos, each earning millions of views on YouTube, are hilarious, you haven’t seen anything like the shenanigans they pull off in Mystery Team. Trust me, this is something entirely different and even more ridiculous — which translates into even more fun.

2. 500 Days of Summer

I have a rule about Zooey Deschanel — if she’s in a movie, I’m seeing it. And nine times out of ten, I’m also liking it. This is no exception. In fact, 500 Days of Summer is the epitome of what I love about quirky romantic comedies. It sports some really charismatic performances from Zooey and Joseph Gordon Levitt (among others), has a killer soundtrack and is delivered in a very clever and unique way. That and it has a really infectious quality about it — the kind of film that makes you want to see it over and over again.

1. World’s Greatest Dad

The minute I walked out of the press screening for Bobcat Goldthwait’s super-dark comedy about teen suicide, I knew that it was the best film of the festival. Never have I laughed so hard at such off-color material than in that room. Combining a dark sensibility with two fantastic performances from Robin Williams and Spy Kids’ Daryl Sabara, Goldthwait has delivered a comedy that exists on another level — a comedy so provacotive and dark that no studio would dare make it. A comedy made with two giant brass balls.

The Ten Best Transformation Movies

Dr. Cole Abaius — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 02:48:08 +0000

Most films are about transformation in some way. We have to get characters from Point A to Point B, and to make it interesting, they’d better change somehow. But with this list I’m not talking about transforming your Sweet-But-Selfish Guy Next Door into the Sweet-But-Selfless Guy Next Door who gets the girl. In this list, the guy next door is more likely to turn into a blood-thirsty beast who could rip your throat out at the first sign of the full moon.

Tomorrow’s release of Underworld: Rise of the Lycans has reminded us that there’s a whole host of magical beings, beasts and monsters that characters can turn into, and we love them all. So I present to you The Ten Best Transformation Movies.

**10. Transformers (2007)**

Look! It’s even got the word ‘transform’ in the title. Despite my complete lack of love for this movie, its plot or its stale characters, I will admit that what Michael Bay does best is focus on machines that are more than meets the eye. The CGI was solid, and the audience was rewarding for sitting through the garden scene by watching some cars flip out into giant fucking robots.

9. Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956)

The original film version directed by Don Siegel achieves an incredible feat in displaying a basic human fear: that our bodies are not our own. That without our notice or permission we could change into something else, something inhuman. It plays on paranoia – showcasing the fear that the world is changing around you, and there’s nothing you can do to stop it. Although the transformation form human to alien is always subtle – no need for a huge FX budget – it is always unnerving.

**8. Ginger Snaps 2: Unleashed (2004)**

Even more so than the first, this film uses the change from human to werewolf as a frightening metaphor for growing up. This is never more obvious than the group-masturbation fantasy scene that results in the pun/sight gag of Brigitte removing her hand from her pants to see the wolf hair covering her palms. The scene is incredibly jarring and eludes to the inevitability of violent change. Although she spends most of the movie trying to avoid the transformation, she eventually comes face to face with the werewolf hunting her – giving audience’s the gore pay off they deserve.

**7. Night of the Living Dead (1968)**

Oh, Zombies. I could have chosen just about any zombie flick, but I decided to go with the original genre explosion created by George Romero in the late 60s. The transformation theme is obvious with humans changing into brain-hungry somnambulists. What puts it over the top is its message for social change that lies beneath the subtext. There’s nothing more blood-chilling than surviving a relentless horde tearing through your farmhouse only to realize that hatred, bigotry, and racism are the real killers.

**6. Interview with the Vampire (1994)**

Similar to zombie flicks (or werewolf flicks for that matter) I could have gone with just about any vampire movie, but Interview deals so directly with the long process of the change from human to undead killing machine. It shows the transformation of Louis at the hands of Lestat as well as the bothersome change of Claudia, the little girl staying by her dead mother’s corpse’s side. It then goes on to show how the effects of that change over a lifetime. Through use of make-up, it shows a drastic change from healthy vamp to the near undeath of Lestat after he goes without blood for years. All vampire stories deal with transformation, but none so pointedly as this.

**5. Big Fish (2003)**

Getting away from monsters just slightly, Big Fish is one long tall tale that eventually results in an old man’s ultimate transformation. A natural storyteller becomes what he was always meant to be – a very big fish. The metaphor for death is a particularly moving one that works in concert with exactly how Edward Bloom lived. Along the way, we see little girls transform into witches and Amos Calloway, the circus owner, turn into a werewolf (bonus!) who’s desperate to play fetch.

**4. Howl’s Moving Castle (2004)**

An all-you-can-eat buffet of transformations. Sofi is changed in the beginning of the film into an old woman, Howl changes form at will – opting usually for a giant blackbird-dragon that battles freelance in the war – the Witch of the Waste changes from gorgeous dame to a blob of flesh melting in over itself, the Fire Spirit transforms into a star, and even the scarecrow that befriends Sofi near the beginning changes. As fans know, Miyazaki is big on transforming characters into animals, spirits and monsters just as he’s big on taking simple fairy tales and turning them into complex works of art.

**3. Videodrome (1983)**

Back from our short fantasy reprieve, we dip back into the world of horror. Or is it science fiction? The genre-bending cautionary tale from Cronenberg is a triumph of the odd. If nothing else, the scene where Max Renn grows what appears to be a stomach-vagina big enough to lose his arm in is enough to have this film near the top of the list. Luckily, Cronenberg doesn’t stop there – transforming Max from a simple sleaze ball into a living television. All the while turning the audience into unwitting voyeurs.

**2. The Fly (1986)**

An updated look at the nightmare Franz Kafka gave to Gregor Samsa, Cronenberg (again!) uses the entire run time to change Dr. Brundle into a human fly. There’s at least a dozen incarnations of the stages of transformation, and every time, his body is more and more grotesque. Even in his own words, Brundle claims he’s “working on something that will change the whole world and mankind itself.” Obviously Cronenberg, who makes a cameo as a gynecologist, was obsessed with change and how far it could go. Turns out, in the case of Dr. Brundle, it goes as far as impregnating his girlfriend Veronica with larvae in a birth scene that – to this day – I can barely watch without losing it.

**1. An American Werewolf in London (1981)**

Feel free to accuse me of having werewolves on the brain, but for my money, there’s no better transformation flick than John Landis’s masterpiece of change. Is it because of the basic theme of uncontrollable urges present within the mythos? Sure. Is it because Landis is a fantastic storyteller? Definitely. But most of all, overarching themes and metaphors aside, this movie transcends because of one scene. When David Kessler first shifts from man into beast, for the first time in history, filmmakers showed the complete, unadulterated transformation. It wasn’t like the old days where a few shadows moved, a beast emerged from off screen, or stop-motion took six phases to throw on some hair and spirit gum. Through the genius of legend Rick Baker’s special make-up effects, Landis was able to show the agony of what it means to have your flesh ripped apart by something emerging from inside you.

Honorable Mentions: Scanners, The Serpent and the Rainbow, Spirited Away, and The Stepford Wives.

The Seven Greatest Puking Scenes of all Time

J.L. Sosa — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 20:59:39 +0000

Some people call me the space cowboy.
Some call me the gangsta of love.
Some people call me Mo’Reese (whaw-whowww!)
Cuz I speak of the vomitus of love
-Steve Miller, poorly paraphrased

Since its release a few weeks ago, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button has been hailed as a triumph of tasteful cinematography and groundbreaking visual effects.

However, one criminally overlooked aspect of David Fincher’s latest stylistic triumph is its amazing Barf Scene. Quite often, when filmmakers depict a character upchucking, they shy away from actually showing the flowing gorge. Fincher, ever the fearless auteur, pulls no punches. Brad Pitt spouts his emesis convincingly, in mid-line no less. The singular beauty of Pitt’s cookie-toss has inspired in me a new appreciation for cinematic vomit.

Regurgitation is a versatile tool in a visual storyteller’s palette. No other bodily function can be used to illustrate such a full range of a character’s possible internal states. Or, for that matter, the full range of a character’s possible stomach contents.

In this chunderous spirit, it’s time for a closer look at the Seven Greatest Puking Scenes Of All Time.

7. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008)

The Puker: Benjamin Button (Brad Pitt)
The Cause: Overconsumption of alcohol
The Scene: Benjamin Button is 14 going on really fucking old. He goes out for his first-ever night of drinking and whoring, returning home in the wee hours. His adopted mom is worried sick and demands to know where he’s been. Benjamin’s reply? “I listened to some music … I … I met some people … I think mama… I’m going to…” Benjamin blows sepia-toned chunks. Comedic gold, with a ring of verisimilitude.

6. Repo Man (1984)

The Puker: Otto Maddox (Emilio Estevez)
The Cause: Overexertion, perhaps combined with radiation exposure
The Scene: After spending much of the movie thus-far-unsuccessfully attempting to repossess a ’64 Malibu bearing rotting alien corpses in its trunk, repo man Otto spies the car while walking on foot. He chases the car for several blocks before spewing what looks like chicken soup over the edge of an overpass. I’m not sure what purpose this beat serves, but it fits perfectly with the overall seedy, nihilistic ambience of the film.

5. Ronin (1998)

The Puker: Spence (Sean Bean)
The Cause: Carsickness
The Scene: Spence is a wannabe gun-for-hire given to braggadocio and unable to keep his dinner down. Both these traits are displayed during this film’s first car chase. He’s all swagger … “It’s a job well done, a job well done! That’s a fact!” … moments before he has to step out of the car to ralph all over the sidewalk. Needless to say, he’s cut from the team of badasses.

4. The Fly (1986)

The Puker: Dr. Seth Brundle (Jeff Goldblum)
The Cause: A donut
The Scene: Dr. Brundle is mutating into a giant fly/human hybrid. His metamorphosis advances to the point where he can no longer digest food normally. Like a fly, he retches up stomach acid to break down food, then slurps up the whole mess. Brundle stuns his girlfriend (Geena Davis) and the audience the first time he demonstrates this, then realizes his social faux pas. “That’s disgusting,” he admits. It’s one of many welcome bits of dark humor in Cronenberg’s otherwise oppressive masterpiece.

3. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (1998)

The Puker: Dr. Gonzo (Benicio del Toro)
The Cause: Overconsumption of red salmon and mescaline
The Scene: Dr. Gonzo and Raoul Duke (Johnny Depp) are co’ chillin’ on the Vegas Strip. Over the strains of The Ohio Express’ “Yummy Yummy Yummy,” Gonzo tell his partner-in-crime, “Let’s find a nice seafood restaurant and eat some red salmon, I feel a powerful lust for red salmon.” Cut to Gonzo violently spraying red chunks into a toilet bowl. With strings of pukesnot hanging from his lips, Gonzo laments, “Goddamn mescaline. Why the fuck can’t they make it a little less pure?” I challenge you to find a more perfectly subversive juxtaposition of bubblegum pop and drug-induced nausea.

2. The Exorcist (1973)

The Puker: Regan MacNeil (Linda Blair)
The Cause: Demonic possession
The Scene: The faithless Father Damian Karras (Jason Miller) is trying to debunk the idea that young Regan MacNeil is actually possessed by the devil. Regan goads Karras by telling him, “Your mother’s in here with us.” He challenges Regan to tell him his mother’s maiden name. Regan’s reply comes in the form of a thick, pea-green jet of liquid aimed squarely at Karras’ face. This scene is such a familiar part of Hollywood canon, it’s not as shocking as it once was. But it’s high on my list because of its cultural significance.

1. Stand by Me (1998)

The Puker: “Lard Ass” Hogan (Andy Lindberg), and multiple others
The Cause: A thirst for revenge
The Scene: Davie Hogan has a weight problem. The cruel townspeople have for years taunted him, dubbing him “Lard Ass.” Then one day … he unleashes a Gastric Hell on Earth. Words can’t do this Godfather of barf scenes justice. Just watch the YouTube clip below and marvel. Not since the days of Caligula has such a spectacle of spew graced the Earth.

The Twelve Films of Christmas

Dr. Cole Abaius — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 23:43:26 +0000

So it turns out that tomorrow’s Christmas, and since I have no one to love me and give me presents, I’ve been forced to slave away in the FSR offices until, as Neil puts it, I “beat the internet.” Apparently, the last mini-boss is nearly impossible.

But since I have so much free time on my hands, and since Neil left a disc of Christmas Carols on repeat just out of reach, I’ve been inspired to make a list of films based on the most famous Holiday Song of All Time That No One Knows All the Lyrics To – The Twelve Days of Christmas.

You’re welcome.

12. Twelve Drummers Drumming – Drumline (2002)

This is probably the most literal interpretation of a lyric that I could do, and I admit to geeking out a little bit about this movie just because I was in drum line back in high school. Although, my band director never did any “Make 7. Up Yours” commercials. So that was a plus.

11. Eleven Pipers Piping – Endless Summer (1966)

Perfect for the winter weather of my hometown, there’s something noble about the pursuit of the perfect half-pipe even in freezing temperatures. It’ll get you thinking warmer thoughts, and you can tell your friends you watched a documentary over the break, so they’ll assume you’re smart.

10. Ten Lords a’Leaping – Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)

I have no idea why you’d buy your true love what amounts to ten men jumping around. Statistically, at least one of them has to be a home wrecker, and it’s already been established that he’s wealthy. Don’t risk it. Get your honey this movie on DVD, and she can admire stunt work and FX work that still holds up after eight years of innovation.

9. Nine Ladies Dancing – Showgirls (1995)

For the win! I can’t necessarily advise anyone to watch this one, but it definitely has at least nine ladies dancing in it. Plus, it might get you in the holiday mood by reminding you how awful life really is. I’m so excited! I’m so…excited! I’m so…so…scared.

8. Eight Maids a’Milking – Visitor Q (2001)

Oh, Takashi Miike. Just when we need a film to correspond with the concept of maids milking something, you come along with a scene where a mother lactates with such force that people in the room have to bust out umbrellas, and the floor ends up soaked in two inches deep of breast milk. Just like any good Ugly Sweater Party should.

7. Seven Swans a’Swimming – The Swan (1956)

While the title is pretty direct, the movie itself is really about Grace Kelly being a princess (before she actually quit acting to become a princess), and it’s one of her last films. It also features Alec Obi-Wan Guinness as a character named Prince Albert, although he stays out of the can most of the film.

6. Six Geese a’Laying – Octopussy (1983)

I have to assume that the song lyric refers to geese laying eggs and not getting it on, so this Bond classic is a perfect match. The entire film he chases (in a wild-goose-manner, some might say) for an incredibly expensive Fabergé Egg. Which we all know has a rich nougat center.

5. Five Golden Rings – The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)

Like I wasn’t going to choose this one.

4. Four Calling Birds – When a Stranger Calls (1979)

No one knows what a Calling Bird is. Go ask someone – they won’t know. Based on name alone, I have to assume they are a species of super advanced Quail that use cell phones to communicate. These Super Quail are also probably the ones responsible for making the calls from inside the house. On a side note: some film scholars believe this film may have been remade in 2005, but there’s little evidence to support that theory.

3. Three French Hens – La Cage Aux Folles (1978)

What’s with all the bird gifts? It’s hard to take this song seriously anymore. But a film about French birds seems appropriate – even if those birds are really men masquerading in lipstick and bras. Watching this film with your family over the holidays is guaranteed to bring you all closer together. Or cause a massive fist fight.

2. Two Turtle Doves – Romeo and Juliet (1968)

We’ve finally made it out of the birds and into a gift of some rare breed of turtle. I was told that Turtle Doves are a symbol of love, so what better movie than one about two star-crossed lovers confused over whether it’s the lark or the nightingale singing?

1. And a Partridge in a Pear Tree – The Passion of the Christ (2004)

It’s clear that when this song was written, the most popular gifts were all avian-based, but some came with their own fruit-bearing tree. There’s a great email chain working it’s way around claiming that the original song was written in code to represent a ton of stuff from the Christian religion. While that’s completely false, it still gives me a decent reason for choosing this as the final film. It has a lot of fantastic lessons for your family during this rich yuletide season – specifically that beating the hell out of a guy for three hours will cause an earthquake. Something to think about.

Editor’s Note: This list was compiled with the twisted help of Kevin Carr and Rob Hunter.

11 Films To Watch On Election Night

Josh Radde — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 13:38:55 +0000

We dabble in politics when we absolutely need to here at FSR. It’s not a stated mission statement or anything, so we don’t waste your time going off on political diatribes (very often). FSR wants to appeal to all readers, and to quote Michael Jordan, “Republicans buy sneakers too.” So we know that the Election Night coverage can be a bit monotonous, but while you’re waiting for the results to trickle down, you might as well watch a couple movies. And since a list of movies may not appeal to red- and blue-blooded Americans, we’ve grouped them into specific categories:

Classics…

Democrats: Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

You true-blue Democrats can take refuge in the Stanley Kubrick’s 1964 Cold War send-up. The movie talks about nuclear war very cavalierly and shows an American president utilizing the horrible judgment of making a Nazi physicist his scientific advisor. The satire is among the funniest films ever made, voted in as the #3 Funniest film by the American Film Institute. George C. Scott’s Buck Turgidson is a shoot-first-ask-questions-later type of leader, and also includes the sardonic cowboy Slim Pickens as a man who mounts a nuclear weapon on its ride to the surface, hootin’ and hollerin’ along the way.

Republicans: Citizen Kane

The unofficial fictional biography of William Randolph Hearst is the topic of this classic referred to as one of the greatest films of all-time. Orson Welles directed, wrote, and star as Charles Foster Kane, a billionaire newspaper tycoon who uses his power to launch a failed attempt at the presidency, eventually alienates everyone who loves him, and ultimately dies alone. Republicans can revel in the irony of a billionaire running a failed campaign and remark at how it’s less like John McCain’s sketchy campaign, but more like John Kerry’s disastrous presidential run.

Modern Day Presidents…

Democrats: W.

Still in theaters, W. shows the story of George W. Bush’s rise from Texas oil-hand to Governor to President of the United States. More notably, through Josh Brolin’s fantastic performance, we see how Bush was manipulated and tricked into attacking Iraq because even he was lied to about the existence of WMDs. Brolin’s performance and Oliver Stone’s direction don’t necessarily make us feel bad for Bush or excuse his actions, but it does help us see him as a human being, a quality he lacks in his public-speaking skills. Democrats who want change in this country can watch W. because it’s a fine film, and also to see re-creations of some ridiculous moments in Bush’s presidency, such as the time he choked on a pretzel while watching a UT game.

Republicans: Primary Colors

A movie loosely based on the 1992 Presidential Primaries shows John Travolta and Emma Thompson as faux Bill and Hillary Clinton. It shows that even though a man’s heart can be in the right place, his weiner might be in the hands of a woman that’s not his wife. The movie, told through the narration of campaign manager Henry Burton (Adrian Lester), talks about Governor Jack Stanton’s race for the white house and all the lives he interrupts on the way. The film was largely forgotten about because it was released at the height of the Monica Lewinsky scandal, but it sports a killer performance from Kathy Bates. Primary Colors is a movie that would appeal to those people that thought getting a Blow-J in the White-H was worse than sending soldiers into an ill-conceived war.

Conspiracy Theories…

Democrats: All the President’s Men

Robert Redford and Dustin Hoffman take down Richard Nixon and reveal the Watergate scandal in this classic. Democrats, who have a knack for adding “gate” to the end of words to make them controversies should rally around the story of two hard-working Washington Post journalists, Bob Woodward (Redford) and Carl Bernstein, who put together the puzzle that is Watergate piece-by-138-minute-run-time-piece.

Republicans: JFK

Although the protagonist (Kevin Costner) is a Democrat, and many Republicans are looked at as malicious and conspirators in John F. Kennedy’s death. We also learn that it may have been a ploy, played out by Kennedy’s V.P. Lyndon B. Johnson, to get the U.S. to agree to war in Vietnam, a position that Kennedy fervently disagreed with. Basically Costner comes to believe that JFK’s assassination was an effective coup de gras. I think Republicans can watch this and gain satisfaction that the Democrats, the FBI, the CIA, the mafia, Cuba under Castro-rule, the Masonic order, and the Soviets are all more sinister than they are.

Black Presidents…

Democrats: Morgan Freeman in Deep Impact

Freeman starred in Mimi Leder’s 1998 disaster film as President Tom Beck. If you want to see how a black president can handle a disaster, Deep Impact is a solid barometer for that. After the comets devastate New York, President Beck calmly tells the American people “Cities fall but they are rebuilt. Heroes die but they are remembered.” He also gets to utter the film’s tagline, “Life will go on, we will prevail.” Democrats can see this Morgan Freeman potential in Barack Obama, a man who is pretty cool and calm whatever the situation. His steady hand and consistency has won over many Americans…Freeman, that is. Though, I have to say that if this were the race for “President of the Eclectic Voice-Over Committee,” Freeman gets my vote.

Republicans: Tommy “Tiny” Lister in The Fifth Element

Lister, who famously portrayed Deebo in Friday, was the President in Luc Besson’s 1997 Bruce Willis actioner The Fifth Element. Lister’s President Lindberg is a cross-eyed dude who looks to others to solve the country’s problems. But even if the character is not the best president, we still have to appreciate that Lister is a giant, no-nonsense man. He was also known as “The Human Wrecking Machine” when he hit the WWF circuit as Zeus. If you remember, he took Hulk Hogan to the limit in the film No Holds Barred. So even though I wouldn’t want Lindberg as President, I wouldn’t want to face Lister in a cage-match.

Kick-Ass Presidents…

Democrats: Bill Pullman in Independence Day

Good morning. In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world. And you will be launching the largest aerial battle in the history of mankind. “Mankind.” That word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can’t be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. Perhaps it’s fate that today is the Fourth of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom… Not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution… but from annihilation. We are fighting for our right to live. To exist. And should we win the day, the Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day the world declared in one voice: “We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight! We’re going to live on! We’re going to survive!” Today we celebrate our Independence Day!

President Whitmore gives me shivers.

Republicans: Harrison Ford in Air Force One

Ford plays President James Marshall in this 1997 action flick that had him proclaiming “Get off my plane” at the end of the film. If only we had a president that was as badass as Ford. Republicans would like this because Ford’s president is a fighter and won’t back down no matter how insurmountable the competition. Also, he has a female Vice President who is belittled by his cabinet (”rogue,” “diva,”–ring a bell?) played by Glenn Close. Now that I think of it, Gary Oldman is in over half of the films I’m recommending to Republicans. You Republicans would also like Oldman in Sid and Nancy, the Harry Potter series (excluding you Christian conservatives), and The Dark Knight (because everyone likes The Dark Knight).

For the Bi-Partisan Crowd…

Predator

Forget all the TV attack ads. The liberal media and Fox News mean dick. There’s only one movie that truly shows a “United” States of America: Predator. The film features the current Governor of California, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and the former Governor of Minnesota, Jesse “The Body” Ventura (who’s now an Independent). Even though Ventura was technically elected as part of the “Reform” Party, I still consider him a Democrat since CNN brought him on their post-RNC coverage when they refuted the convention (to which Ventura replied, I shit you not, that he hadn’t watched the convention–way to go CNN). Anyway, this may sway a little right since Schwarzenegger is the lone soldier who makes it through this mess and single-handedly kills the Predator. But since there were subsequent Predator sequels and a crossover with the Aliens franchise, we can consider Arnold’s proverbial “Mission Accomplished” banner as flying a bit too soon.

The 10 Remaining Must See Movies of 2008

Neil Miller — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 22:00:04 +0000

Summer is now officially over, the leaves are getting ready to turn, and the Oscar bait movies have begun showing at various fall film festivals around the world. But just because the Oscar train is getting ready to leave the station, that doesn’t mean that every upcoming release is going to be a 3-hour long heavy-handed drama. There are still plenty of must see movies — plenty of action, plenty of comedy and plenty of popcorn butter-flavored goodness. And to get you ready to tackle the rest of 2008 at the movies, we’ve assembled our list of the Ten Remaining Must See Movies of 2008.

10. Twilight (November 21)

Yeah, I know that it’s a teenie-bopper movie. It is all over the programming schedule of MTV and it looks like it could play on The CW, but Twilight is more than just another teen romance, it is becoming a pop culture phenomenon in the same way that Harry Potter did back in the early 2000s. Aside from that, I hear that the book is actually pretty good, no matter who you are. So prepare yourself for the brooding and the vampy sap-story, because you really shouldn’t miss Twilight when it hits theaters.

9. The Spirit (December 25)

This list is about “must see” movies, not necessarily “sure to be great” movies. Sure, Frank Miller’s adaptation of the classic Will Eisner comic may have all the makings of a massive, bloody, CNN headline-grabbing train wreck — but like all great train wrecks and epic disasters in history, there is the distinct possibility that we won’t be able to look away.

8. RocknRolla (October 31)

Guy Ritchie returning to form, delivering another classic London gangster film with tons of energy and bullets flying everywhere? Yeah, I think we can get into that. On top of all that, it was clear at Comic-Con that the cast, which includes Gerard Butler, Idris Elba and Jeremy Piven, had a boat load of fun making this movie — and if it comes off half as fun as it sounds, we’re in for a real treat.

7. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (December 25)

Of all the fall and winter Oscar Bait movies, this one might just be the most peculiar. How do you effectively tell the story of a man who is born old and ages in reverse? For starters, you bring in David Fincher and a stellar cast that includes Brad Pitt, Tilda Swinton, Cate Blanchett and Julia Ormand. The only problem we’ve heard so far is that it is long, very very long. That’s okay though, no matter how long it is, it can’t feel longer than Spike Lee’s latest film.

6. Choke (September 26)

You’ve seen the commercial: “Sexy, Devious and Fun.” I’m not sure who said that exactly, but give that guy a medal, because that assessment of Choke is spot on. From the mind that brought us “Fight Club” comes a movie that tackles a topic that all men, including David Duchovny, can relate to: sex addiction. As well, it also deals with our addiction to Kelly Macdonald and Bijou Philips — which, coincidentally relates back to the aforementioned sex addiction — man, this Chuck Palahniuk guy is good.

5. Body of Lies (October 10)

After the miserable showing last year of movies that dealt with the War on Terror, we thought we might not ever see one that was worth its weight in popcorn butter. Then, just like that, two longtime favorite directors come along and make their own, explosive dramas, both set to be released in late 2008. But while we will have to wait and see when Kathryn Bigelow’s The Hurt Locker will actually be released, we will definitely get a good showing from Ridley Scott’s Body of Lies. From The Departed writer William Monahan and starring Russell Crowe and Leonardo DiCaprio — yeah, that should work just fine.

4. The Wrestler (December 19)

The clear winner of the “most buzzed about” title from the Toronto Film Fest is Darren Aronofsky’s The Wrestler. It could have been, in part, because of the memorable performance of Mickey Rourke, an actor who’s been a little more than out of the spotlight for a long time. Either way, we know what the critics have said about it, and we know that we need to see it.

3. The Road (November 26)

Last year, the film that won the Academy Awards for Best Picture and Best Adapted Screenplay was based on a novel by Cormac McCarthy. And from what I hear, McCarthy’s novel “The Road” is just as good, if not better than the novel “No Country for Old Men.” Combine that with a cast that includes Viggo Mortenson, Charlize Theron, Robbert Duvall and Guy Pearce, and this becomes a no-brainer. See it when it hits theaters in November, because you might need to remember it come February.

2. Zack and Miri Make a Porno (October 31)

All of the festival reviews from Toronto and Austin’s Fantastic Fest have just confirmed what some of us already knew — Kevin Smith is at the top of his game, and he’s bringing the comedic talents of Seth Rogen, Elizabeth Banks and Craig Robinson along for the ride. Some fans have missed this Kevin Smith, and others are convinced that he never left — either way, everyone will be rubbing their lucky “Buddy Christ” statue on the way out the door when Zack and Miri’s Porno rolls into theaters.

1. Quantum of Solace (November 14)

Back in 2006, Daniel Craig gave us a taste of what he could do as James Bond, successfully rebooting the iconic character and giving him new grit. Now, he takes Bond to the next level, coming out in Quantum of Solace with guns blazing. Hmm, I seem to remember another iconic character who recently had a franchise restart and delivered a bigger and better sequel in 2008 — and that seemed to work out quite well. And while it’s unclear yet whether Bond’s fate will be similar to that of The Dark Knight, we certainly shouldn’t miss the opportunity to find out.

Which movies are you most looking forward to in between now and the start of 2009?

Eight Ghoulishly Great Ghostly Comedies (and Five That Should Have Stayed Dead)

Rob Hunter — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 04:16:26 +0000

Mixing horror and comedy together successfully can be a daunting prospect for a filmmaker. It’s a difficult balance to master between the spooky chills and effects of a horror film and the laughs and light-hearted tone of a comedy. For every Gremlins, Saturday the 14th, or Shaun of the Dead there are ten Dead Heat’s. (Just imagine that for a second… nine sequels to Joe Piscopo’s Dead Heat. That is scary.) Ricky Gervais takes his stab at mixing comedy with ghosts and the afterlife this weekend with Ghost Town, where he stars as a man who dies on the operating table before being brought back to life with a little extra baggage… namely the ability to see and hear ghosts. Here’s hoping he’s following in the tradition of some classic ghostly comedies, and not in the wake of the horrifically bad ones.

Eight Great Ghostly Comedies

8.Casper – Yes, it’s a kid’s movie, and as such it stars Cristina Ricci before she grew up and turned all hot and trampy for Black Snake Moan, but it’s still a fun movie. Great effects and a strong, classic story combine to bring the friendly ghost to life. Seriously, this list isn’t complete without Casper. Or so I’ve been told. Although now that I’m thinking about it, a crossover would be nice… a sexually frustrated and eternally child-like Casper kidnaps a scantily-clad adult Ricci and chains her up in the mansion’s basement where he proceeds to swede himself a copy of The Entity…

7. Topper – Cary Grant was the George Clooney of his day (minus the good will and conscience) meaning he oozed class, charisma, star power, and pheromones. Here he plays one half of a couple who just so happen to be dead. The duo take it upon themselves to help out a living friend and find that it just may be the good deed that gets them into Heaven. Isn’t that a great (if ultimately empty) message?

6. Ghost - Remember when Whoopi Goldberg was more than just an annoying windbag on daytime TV? She doesn’t either. But her Oscar-winning turn as psychic Oda Mae Brown added the comedy into this tale of ghostly revenge, eternal love, and erotic pottery. Jerry Zucker (Airplane!) shows he can turn down the pratfalls and wordplay and play up the action, suspense, and love story at the core of the film. Patrick Swayze and a never-been-hotter Demi Moore co-star.

5. The Frighteners - Peter Jackson’s first foray into Hollywood was a disaster for him, Michael J. Fox, and the studio because it bombed big time at the box office. It’s found revenge on DVD though and more people have had a chance to enjoy Fox’s physical comedy and delivery. As a fake paranormal investigator with real paranormal gifts, he finds himself joking with apparitions one minute and facing down a frightening demon shrouded in black the next. And yes, the reaper does look suspiciously like a Ring Wraith from Jackson’s little Tolkien trilogy. As good as Fox is, the twisted-as-hell comedy gold in this movie is found in Jeffrey Combs’ portrayal of the Hitlerish-looking FBI agent, Milton Dammers. He’s a little out there and over the top, but he plays it just right, and it adds an interesting dynamic to the main plot.

4. House – I won’t deny that this is a cheap-looking movie. But as William Katt trudges through the horrible Vietnam sets, fights rubber-suited monsters in his quest to find his missing son, and warns George Wendt about the giant raccoon in his closet, you also realize the that House has heart and laughs to spare. It’s like a hooker with a heart of gold who’s memorized the stand-up routines of Mitch Hedberg, Steven Wright, and Patton Oswalt. Or something. Point is, it’s an underrated gem of a movie. Just be sure to avoid the lame sequel starring the other bar bum from Cheers, John Ratzenberger.

3. Beetlejuice – The first of Tim Burton’s four great films, Beetlejuice is a madcap romp about an affable dead couple who hire a bio-exorcist to scare away the living folks who’ve moved into their home. Alec Baldwin and Geena Davis are the likable couple and Michael Keaton is the disgusting, foul, mean, and funny as hell poltergeist eager for their business. Burton’s use of miniatures, puppets, and other practical effects is refreshingly old-school in today’s world of CGI. And you can’t help but smile when the shrunken head dude shows up in the waiting room scene.

2. Poltergeist – As scary as this movie is, people often forget it’s also pretty damn funny. Craig T. Nelson has some great lines and the final shot of the motel room’s TV getting wheeled out the door is classic. A family of five drops to four after their youngest gets sucked into the TV set, and only a diminutive Zelda Rubinstein can save her from the white light. JoBeth Williams falling in the muddy pool? Terrifying. Researcher clawing his face off in the mirror? Disgusting. Clown beneath the little boy’s bed? The scariest fucking thing you’ll ever see in a PG movie. Goddamn that clown. Goddamn him.

1. Ghostbusters – This is a no-brainer for the number one spot. Ghosts are plentiful and outnumbered only by the laugh-out-loud quips and conversations. Bill Murray, Dan Akroyd, and Harold Ramis are stellar, and their chemistry as a threesome is unrivaled (although the trio from Wild Things gives some pretty stiff competition.) Murray’s deadpan Dr. Venkman is a particularly sarcastic joy. The keymaster/gatekeeper combination of Rick Moranis and Sigourney Weaver provides some laughs but also some chills, and of course, the Stay Puft Marshmellow Man terrifies beyond the capacity for rational thought.

Five Ghostly Comedies That Forgot to Add the Comedy

5. Ghost Rider - I never said this list could only contain intentional comedies… If you must watch Ghost Rider, and I’m not recommending you do, watch it as a comedy and you won’t feel so bad when it’s over.

4. Ghostbusters 2 – I’ll catch heat for this one, but anyone thinking about resurrecting the franchise for a third film should sit down and watch this stinker a few times. There are some laughs to be found, but it suffers in my mind (possibly unfairly) due to its severe inferiority to the original. The entire team returns from the first, including Weaver and Moranis, but even they can’t help the flat jokes and inane storyline. A river of slime beneath New York City that gains power from all the hatred and bad thoughts above? Some old czar in a haunted painting trying to possess Weaver’s newborn baby? The Titanic? The sloppy shotgun approach just doesn’t work, and an animated Statue of Liberty pales beside the genius terror that is the Stay Puft Marshmellow Man.

3. Over Her Dead Body – Oh, Paul Rudd. Did someone have pictures of you fellating a hamster or urinating on a small boy? Why else would you say ‘yes’ to a movie pairing you with the comedic black hole that is Eva Longoria? There’s not a single funny line in the movie which most likely means Rudd stuck to the script verbatim, collected his paycheck, and went home. He provided more laughs in Halloween: Curse of Michael Myers than he musters here.

2. High Spirits – Is there anyone funnier than Steve Guttenberg? I know, stupid rhetorical question. But the rest of the cast looks so good… Peter O’Toole can be funny, but he’d be the first one to tell you that he’s a whore who accepts any film offer period. Beverly D’Angelo can be funny, but she was in between Vacation movies and needed something to keep her SAG membership current. Liam Neeson, well I don’t know if he can be funny, but he’s usually a lot better than this. Director Neil Jordan can’t be funny (see We’re No Angels for further proof.) Darryl Hannah and Peter Gallagher were a lot more humorous together in Summer Lovers when his eye brows were at their bushiest, and her body was at its nakedest.

1. Ghost Dad – Comedic genius Bill Cosby died during production on The Cosby Show, and he was replaced by the guy who starred in Leonard Part VI, Ghost Dad, and who hates black people. True story.

The Ten Must-See Shows of the Fall TV Season

Neil Miller — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 17:35:58 +0000

Blood, sweat and tears were poured into this week’s Fall TV Preview by the FSR staff, and what better way could there be to bring it all to an end than to compile our favorite upcoming shows into one of our world famous top ten lists? Of course, we still have a few shows to talk about in Friday’s line-up, but it doesn’t look like any of them will be making it onto this list. The likes of NBC’s “Life” and Sci-Fi’s “Stargate: Atlantis” probably deserve an honorable mention, but they certainly aren’t going to top the ten shows below. That said, we’ve mixed the new with the old and dug through this fall’s entire prime time line-up to bring you the Ten Must-See Shows of the Fall TV Season:

10. Fringe (Fox) Airs Tuesdays 9/8c, Premieres September 9th 8/7c
One of several new shows for Fox this year, Fringe is the latest from the evil genius JJ Abrams, examining the relationship between science and the paranormal. When a flight from Germany to Boston lands with a crew and passenger manifest of grizzly bodies, Special FBI agent Olivia Dunham is brought in to investigate the cause. Dunham’s trails lead her to a mad scientist named Dr. Walter Bishop, (John Noble, aka the Steward of Gondor himself!) whose experiments in the area seem tailor made for the situation but the only way to him is through is his estranged son, good ol’ Pacey Witter. Sorry, Peter Bishop (Joshua Jackson). Cue much experimentation on Dunham in a desperate effort to solve the case, experimentation which may have lasting effects. Despite the pilot’s storyline revolving around an airline disaster, the show seems to share more elements with “The X-Files” than “Lost.” Though it has buckets of potential, it remains to be seen whether Fringe will have the popularity of JJ’s other smash. - Michelle Graham

9. Entourage (HBO) Airs Sundays 10/9c, Premieres September 7th
The finale of season 4 was less than stellar for our favorite posse, unless you count Johnny Chase’s three hour sex encounter with his new French love interest. Season 5 will offer a chance at redemption for Vincent Chase and friends, including Ari, who overplayed his hand on the Cannes bomb Medellin. Can Harvey Weingard, who bought the flick for a dollar, turn it into the next Shakespeare in Love? We don’t know. We do know this, the 5th season of “Entourage” will bring more laughs, more Johnny Drama, more women, and the return of Vinny’s publicist, Shauna. Vince’s friend, Dom (who fans were mixed about) also will show up, possibly in a more serious storyline where he deals with terminal cancer. Now’s a good time to join the entourage, if you aren’t in already. - Rob Hunter

8. True Blood (HBO) Airs Sundays 9/8c, Premieres September 7th
HBO is a reliable home for cutting edge series, and this fall’s “True Blood” seems to be no exception. Japanese scientists have perfected a synthetic blood which aside from more common medical uses also is found to satiate the thirst of vampires. Now that the bloodsuckers are no longer a threat to humanity, they find themselves “coming out of the coffin” and attempting to join society. While events around the world are discussed, most of the action centers on a small town in Louisiana where one psychic waitress (Anna Paquin) will confront intolerance, mystery, and bad tips. “True Blood” is created by Alan Ball (”Six Feet Under”) and based on the novels of Charlaine Harris. I personally find vampires to be incredibly boring, but I’ll be giving True Blood a chance based on its pedigree and possibility. - Rob Hunter

7. The Shield (FX) Airs Tuesdays 10/9c, Premieres September 2nd
This was a very tough preview to get done, because it turns out that very few of our staff members are all caught up on “The Shield,” but many of you probably are. So here’s what you need to know: “The Shield” is a television powerhouse, a multiple Emmy award winner and one of the most heralded cable shows of all-time. This year, it enters its seventh and final season, a season that will finally answer the burning question that is on the minds of all of its fans: How will it end for Detective Vic Mackey (Michael Chiklis)? All will be revealed by the end of this final season to this extraordinary show. If you are a “Shield” fan, then you don’t need me to tell you to watch it — your DVR is already set. If you aren’t on this bandwagon yet, then you’ve got 6 seasons to catch up on, so get moving. - Neil Miller

6. It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (FX) Airs Thursdays 10/9c, Premieres September 18th
Prostitution. Dumpster babies. Mental and physical disabilities. Abortion. These are just a few of the less-controversial topics dealt with in “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.” The breakout show that may have cost as little as $85 to get off the ground has become an institution for those bored with conventional television. Mac, Dennis, Charlie, Sweet Dee, and Frank are hands down the worst people in sitcom history, doing and saying things that would leave Archie Bunker slackjawed and making the sign of the cross. They’ve exploited a faux-religious miracle, pretended to be pro-life in order to score chicks and developed a hilarious crack addiction. Hilarious. Crack. Addiction. Basically, it’s not so much pushing the envelope as it is shoving it to the ground, pissing on it, and then making love to its mother in front of it. And we’ll be laughing the entire time. - Cole Abaius

Gossip Girl (The CW) Airs Mondays 8/7c, Premieres September 1st
That’s right. I watch “Gossip Girl.” And not just for Kristen Bell. Although it would be easy to do the macho thing and claim that the two main reasons I watch are Blake Lively, I’ve never been known to pull off the macho act. Besides, it’s probably the trashiest, most unrealistic, bourgeoisie-infested show on TV, and that’s a great thing. It’s eye candy in more ways than one. Pretty, young things living the high life and sleeping around are good to look at, but the plotlines are incredibly easy to digest despite being hard to swallow. Still, marketing the show by using the negative quotes from major outlets was ingenious, and the continuing current of attractive people doing things we wish we could do with money we wish we had make it difficult to deny. After the first season of following around Dan and Serena fall in and out of love, Blair and Nate falling in and out of love, and Chuck falling deeper in love with himself, the second season promises more of the same dramatics. This time, from scenic The Hamptons! - Cole Abaius

4. 30 Rock (NBC) Airs Thursday 9:30/8:30c, Premieres October 30th
There’s only one question to ask when it comes to the Emmy Award winning comedy. Why the hell aren’t you watching it? The show is the funniest and most random show on television, thanks in large part to show creator and star, Tina Fey, Alec Baldwin, and the highly underrated Tracey Morgan. Season 2 ended with Liz (Fey) ready to adopt a child after a false pregnancy. Jack (Baldwin) returns from his horrendous government job after coming up with plans for a “gay bomb”, and the rest of the ensemble continued to live out their lifelong dreams, whether is was Tracey Jordan making Benjamins off a porn video game, or pageboy Kenneth ending up with Asian beauties at the Beijing Olympics. The third season will bring stars galore with “Friends” and John Mayer alum Jennifer Aniston stopping by. Aniston will play a stalker who grows lose to Jack. The biggest ratings boost for “30 Rock” might be coming, however, with a guest spot by media mogul and creator of the largest female cult following since Tampax, Oprah Winfrey. Seriously, this woman could tell ladies everywhere to shave their heads because it helps cool them down, and the next day America would be filled with Natalie Portman in V For Vendetta clones. Hell, whatever it takes to keep this brilliant show on the air, I am up for. I’ll just have to buy wigs for all the female viewers. - Adam Sweeney

3. The Office (NBC) Airs Thursdays 9/8c, Premieres September 25th
After each season finale of “The Office” I expect to hear that the show has been canceled. Not due to anything negative mind you, but because lead Steve Carell is now a movie star, and when TV stars get big enough to open a film they usually kiss the boob tube goodbye and never look back… Ted Danson and David Caruso for example. We’re heading into the fifth season this month, and the show’s still going incredibly strong thanks to sharp writing and the best ensemble cast on TV. ‘The Office’ also managed to survive Jim and Pam’s “will they won’t they” friendship changing into a romantic relationship, which has been a death knell for other great shows. Last season did end on a downer with the departure of Toby (Paul Lieberstein) whose understated and subtle comedic genius will be sorely missed, but after four solid seasons I’m no longer doubting that the quality and character of ‘The Office’ will continue. - Rob Hunter

2. Heroes, NBC, Airs Mondays 9/8c (Premieres September 22)
If there’s one thing “Heroes” do well, it’s saving the world, right? So they did again in the Season 2 finale, destroying a deadly strain of the Shanti Virus. The stakes have been raised in Season 3, titled Villains, as each hero’s loyalty will be tested, new foes will emerge, some from Level 5, the prison to the deadliest threats to the world, and some within the heroes themselves. Mohinder and Maya look to turn up the heat with a possible relationship, we will get the much anticipated return of Sylar, Season 1’s supreme badass, as he sets out to turn everyone’s favorite cheerleader, Claire’s world upside down, and Hiro will meet his match, a lightning fast vixen who’d give Usain Bolt a run for his money. For the heroes, this is only the beginning of their sensational saga. “Heroes” has changed the way we watch television, made it cool to like superheroes, and the 3^rd season “Villains” will be groundbreaking, Earth shattering, and as compelling as any show on television. - Adam Sweeney

1. Dexter (Showtime) Airs Sundays 9/8c, Premieres September 28th
“Dexter” is all about upping the ante. When you’re telling the story of a serial killer who works as a blood splatter technician for the Miami metro police who still hasn’t told his sister or girlfriend about his hellish hobby, it’s easy to keep the tension at the breaking point. Dexter Morgan has braved his psychopathic brother, the looming threat of a suspiciously obsessed coworker, and the wiles of a gorgeous woman with a penchant for arson. It stepped out at the end of Season 2 uncaptured, unscathed, and back in the arms of the woman he loves. But all is not well. Dexter is on the brink of existential crisis – questioning the very foundations of why he does what he does, hoping to create lasting relationships for the first time in his life, and destroying the mental idol he’s created of his father Harry’s memory. Season 3 promises to find Dexter getting sloppy, violating his moral code and discovering spontaneity. From a show that’s already kept audiences breathless and cheering for the serial killer, the next frontier is to give that charismatic anti-hero the freedom to do anything he wants. And with freedom, comes an even greater chance of getting caught. If you aren’t already obsessed with this show, now’s a good time to breeze through the first two seasons and start settling in for an unsettling Sunday night. - Cole Abaius

For more, check out our 2008 Fall TV Preview page.

What shows are you looking forward to most in the upcoming Fall TV season?

Film School Rejects » Essential Viewing

Tommy Lee Jones and Sam Jackson Team Up for Sunset Limited

Related Reading:

Relax: 20 Films From the 80s That Aren’t Being Remade

20. Sixteen Candles

19. The Sword and the Sorcerer

18. Popeye

17. Blue Lagoon

16. Soul Man

15. The Blues Brothers

14. A Christmas Story

13. Stand By Me

12. Das Boot

11. Caddyshack

10. Labyrinth

9. Little Monsters

8. Beetle Juice

7. The Princess Bride

6. Real Genius

5. The Goonies

4. Revenge of the Nerds

3. Purple Rain

2. Chariots of Fire

1. Mad Max

A Final Thought

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The 7 Must-See Monster and Alien Movies of the 1950s

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15 Films You Absolutely Must See at SXSW 2009

The Horseman

Humpday

Make-Out With Violence

Best Worst Movie

Observe and Report

Grace

Made in China

We Live in Public

Ong Bak 2

Sin Nombre

Anvil! The Story of Anvil

Lesbian Vampire Killers

True Adolescents

Moon

The Hurt Locker

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Couch or Curb: Cinematically Test Your Boyfriend’s Love

Related Reading:

Everything That Can Go Wrong: A Brief Look at Terry Gilliam’s Productions

Brazil (1985)

The Adventures of Baron Munchausen (1988)

Time Bandits 2 and A Tale of Two Cities (Never)

The Man Who Killed Don Quixote (2000 and Forthcoming?)

The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus (2009)

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The 13 Best Films of Sundance 2009

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The Ten Best Transformation Movies

10. Transformers (2007)

9. Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956)

8. Ginger Snaps 2: Unleashed (2004)

7. Night of the Living Dead (1968)

6. Interview with the Vampire (1994)

5. Big Fish (2003)

4. Howl’s Moving Castle (2004)

3. Videodrome (1983)

2. The Fly (1986)

1. An American Werewolf in London (1981)

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Classics…

Modern Day Presidents…

Conspiracy Theories…

Black Presidents…

Kick-Ass Presidents…

Time Bandits 2 **and A Tale of Two Cities (Never)**

**10. Transformers (2007)**

**8. Ginger Snaps 2: Unleashed (2004)**

**7. Night of the Living Dead (1968)**

**6. Interview with the Vampire (1994)**

**5. Big Fish (2003)**

**4. Howl’s Moving Castle (2004)**

**3. Videodrome (1983)**

**2. The Fly (1986)**

**1. An American Werewolf in London (1981)**