Early Edition

It’s been a few days, sure, but you know that you can’t resist another wonderfully packed edition of the Early Edition…

Since I know that your life is not complete if you don’t get your morning news, I am happy to be back with you on this fine Monday morning for this week’s first Early Edition.

Like LL Cool J said, “Don’t call it a comeback. The Early Edition’s been here for weeks.” Or something like that.

Ricky Gervais is still chubby but now is animated, J.J. Abrams discusses lens flares, Elizabeth Banks hits on Zac Efron, The Goonies, Michael Bay’s penis size. This is your very special humpday Early Edition!

Come for the Spider-Man 4 news and stay for the shot of Megan Fox in leather. You know you love it here in the Early Edition.

I’m back today to try and make it up to you with a buffet of news to get your movie loving motors running. Of course, my hope is that your motors are hyrbid engines, as today is Earth Day and we should be doing what we can for the old gal.

Today’s Early Edition may not be as early as it normally is, but it is still morning in California — and since much of our readership is out there on the West Coast, I’m not ready to title-swap to “Not-So-Early Edition” just yet.

Upon my rise from the depths of slumber this morning, I was greeted with a few options: (a) take a shower and eat breakfast like a normal person or (b) check Twitter and see what has been going on for the past 9 hours. I chose the latter, as I always do.

Start your morning right with a full blast of news. It’s better than coffee because it won’t get you all jittery and stunt your growth. Although, it might lower your sperm count. We’re still running some tests.

It is time to get this whole thing started — and we do that with the Early Edition, our ironically named homage to the CBS TV show of the mid-90s in which we take the day’s biggest headlines and modify them slightly, making them interesting…

It might not exactly be early — unless you live in Hawaii, which people do — but it is still the Early Edition here at FSR. And since we know that you can’t start your day until we give you some news, we’d like to get you going…

Today brings the birth of The Early Edition, FSR’s latest daily feature — its your new first stop for movie news in the morning. Period. Seriously.