Film School Rejects » Development Hell

Trick ‘r Treat Trailer Trepidation

Brian Salisbury — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 05:16:04 +0000

Trick ‘r Treat is a film of various, entwined Halloween-related vignettes that unfold into one small town’s ultimate nightmare. Unlike John Carpenter’s Halloween, wherein the eerie holiday serves as merely the setting, Trick ‘r Treat seeks to explore the autumnal celebration as an inevitable, and mythic catalyst for evil and terror. If you haven’t seen this trailer yet, stop reading these words and click to experience it.

I am terrified of this film, and not because the trailer is uber creepy; nor that I think I will have to sleep with the lights on until Christmas. I have been waiting to see this film for over two years. I first became cognizant of its existence in late summer 2007 when it was announced it would play Fantastic Fest III. I was living in Baton Rouge at the time and Fantastic Fest was to be only my second excursion to the land of cinematic milk and genre honey known as Austin. But then, as if fate were playing that titular, festive game with me, I was tricked out of seeing it when the film was pulled from the roster. It got a screening at Butt-Numb-a-thon that year, another Austin film fest of sorts, and then vanished like a ghost into the ether. It was enough however for every respectable, and even the hack, geek-elite critic to laud it with full fervor. It was then apparently swallowed by some immeasurable chasm in the Earth’s crust and no one had any idea whether it would ever be seen again.

Advance two years to the “treat” portion of this ordeal as it was nearly simultaneously announced that the film would be released directly to video and would be among the films slated for this year’s Fantastic Fest. The trailer we present to you, more expansive than any I had seen prior, does little to quench my desire to see it. But the truth is, with the insane roller-coaster the release of this film has maneuvered, I am terrified by my own anticipation and what it may do to color my enjoyment of it. Trick-r-Treat now faces the dilemma for me, and I expect many others who have followed its volatile journey, that it cannot fail to be completely spectacular or I will be entirely disappointed with it.

It’s really not fair at all that a small film must shoulder this much hype, and I hope that most people do not have the kind of time to chart horror projects the way I do, but the simple fact is that Trick ‘r Treat’s daunting voyage to release is the stuff of legends. As such, the film will incur a backlash of horror geek angst if it fails to deliver in even the smallest of areas. When I see this film at Fantastic Fest, I am going to try with all my might to not expect one of the greatest horror films ever made. I am going to fight against my expectations and all the hype in order to give Trick ‘r Treat a fair shake. Until that day, less than two weeks hence, I will keep drooling over the trailer. Sigh.

Scoop: ‘Murder in Samarkand’ Stuck in Development Hell

Dr. Cole Abaius — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 20:00:03 +0000

Three years ago, a book came out that became one of my favorites from the non-fiction shelf of the year. Craig Murray, an activist and diplomat tells his side of a very tangled story involving his time as the Ambassador from the UK to Uzbekistan from 2002-2004 – a time where he spoke vehemently about human rights violations by President Karimov’s government (he’s still in power). This obviously came at a serious professional price, especially when the issue turned to Murray’s own government’s involvement in using torture in Iraq.

It’s a strong narrative – despite the frequent detours into Murray’s personal life and his hard-drinking hobbies while in Tashkent.

The project was optioned for adaptation to the screen by Palme d’Or nominee Michael Winterbottom and set to feature his 24 Hour Party People star Steve Coogan.

I got a chance to talk to Coogan yesterday, and unfortunately, the news isn’t good news:

Murder in Samarkand is in development hell, and you can quote me on that, but it’s still a project I’d very much like to be a part of.”

It’s a worthwhile project, so I hope it can crawl out of the development ditch at some point soon. Obviously, the story is compelling (and yet, absolutely hilarious at times), and Winterbottom paired with Coogan would be a strong pair to bring it to life.

Depp Will Read the ‘Rum Diary’ Next

Dr. Cole Abaius — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 05:08:48 +0000

As you may know, I’ve read every book ever written. This includes Hunter S. Thompson’s “Rum Diary” – a fantastic sex-tale told in a style that Hunter somehow lost and honed after years of chasing the long, strange trip to political fear and loathing. As you may or may not know, the film adaptation of the novel has been in development hell since before Depp was swilling rum for a different franchise and Thompson was ending his own life.

Luckily, we’re seeing some movement on the project that seems to be slowly crawling out from development hell. We’re getting word from The Bad and The Ugly that casting calls are going up for the role of Chenault, a young woman who the main character, Paul Kemp, eventually grinds deep into a love triangle with. It’s a clutch role – basically a woman who heads down to San Juan to be with her lover only to fall way in over her head in a world of alcohol, confused by the prospect that her lover is a violent, dangerous man.

The casting call sheet lists a March 2009 start date.

Of course, there is still a possibility that Depp might be focusing on Shantaram, another novel project that’s been in development hell for quite some time, this time because of the writer’s strike. However, it’s looking more and more likely that Rum Diary is going to be next up on Depp’s plate.

Disney Makes Orphans of the Children of ‘Narnia’

Neil Miller — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 22:14:24 +0000

Walt Disney Pictures and Walden Media have confirmed that for budgetary and logistical reasons the Burbank-based studio is not exercising its option to co-produce and co-finance The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader with Walden.

The Hollywood Reporter is saying today that the third entry in the series, based on the classic books by C.S. Lewis, was in preproduction and set for a spring 2009 shoot for a planned May 2010 release. Director Michael Apted (The World is Not Enough) was on board to direct a script by Steven Knight. The key players of the second installment, Prince Caspian — Ben Barnes, Georgie Henley, William Moseley and Anna Popplewell — were to return for the third film. All of this has been uprooted though, in the wake of Disney’s decision to ditch the franchise after two frames.

The most interesting part of the development is that Walden Media has said that it will continue to pursue the project, hoping to find another distributor to take Disney’s place. The most likely candidate at this stage is Fox, which markets and distributes Walden fare under the Fox Walden banner.

This does come as no surprise though, as we’ve known that the Mouse has been cooling to the idea since back in March when Disney-focused blogger Jim Hill reported it as a rumor. Combine that with Prince Caspian’s underperformance at the box office in May and you’ve got yourself motive for a studio bailout. And from where I’m sitting it isn’t a bad decision on Disney’s part — the further down the road toward the seventh movie they travel, the more risk will be involved. Unfortunately the Narnia movies have not worked in the same way that the Harry Potter movies have. Though for fans of the series, keep in mind that this is not the end of the road. It is merely a giant, gaping pothole.

Are you interested in seeing all seven of C.S. Lewis’ books adapted to film?

George Miller Confirms The Death of Justice League: Mortal

Neil Miller — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 14:21:26 +0000

In a recent appearance on a morning talk show in Sidney, Australia, director George Miller revealed that he is no longer involved in the Warner Bros. production known as Justice League: Mortal. The project, which has long been one of great interest to folks online, had stalled earlier in the year due to the writers strike and other production complications, and now it finally appears to be dead in the water. That is, until Warner Bros. can line up another director.

According to a Dark Horizons report, Miller explained that studios only want “bigger stars in their superhero movies now.” Meaning that having Adam Brody play the Flash, Armie Hammer play Batman and Megan Gale play Wonder Woman isn’t going to cut it. And when you really look at it, stars or no stars, it never seemed as if Miller had the chops for a superhero movie of this magnitude, with this many iconic characters. In fact, I would contend that Warner Bros. still isn’t ready to make a Justice League movie — their DC Comics line of films is still so disheveled, despite the success of The Dark Knight. They have a long way to go before they can start throwing these characters into the same movie. Who knows, they will probably continue to try, even if it is a terrible idea.

Should Warner Bros. choose to keep this project alive, who do you think should take over as director?

Garth Ennis Loses ‘Preacher,’ Picks Up ‘The Boys’

Rob Hunter — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 10:00:01 +0000

I was never huge into comic books as a kid. There are several reasons for this, most of them related to my strict religious upbringing and complete inability to read or write. Over the years I did manage to sneak a peek at several of these illustrated books, and one series in particular caught my eye. That series was Preacher, and between the bright, breathing art of Steve Dillon and the sharp and hilarious writing of Garth Ennis (read and dramatized for me by the later Sister Hermina) I soon realized that this was the best comic book series of all time. With Preacher as my textbook, I learned the English language, earned a Bachelor of Arts in Creative Writing, and went on to teach ESL and atheism to impoverished children throughout upstate New York and parts of Canada.

The Preacher comic book series ran from 1995 to 2000, and it followed the alternately serious and hysterical adventures of a preacher gifted with angelic powers, his gun-toting girlfriend, and his Irish vampire pal. It has been in Hollywood development hell for the past several years. Kevin Smith’s View Askew Productions held the rights for several years, and in 2006 HBO began a two-year struggle to serialize the books into hour-long episodes. It was announced this week that the cable channel has officially given up on the adaptation. Mark Steven Johnson, director of Ghost Rider and Daredevil, was the guiding force behind HBO’s efforts, and he broke the bad news in an interview with Comics Continuum.

“We were budgeting and everything and it was getting really close to going,” Johnson said. “But the new head of HBO felt it was just too dark and too violent and too controversial. Which, of course, is kind of the point! It was a very faithful adaptation of the first few books, nearly word for word. They offered me the chance to redevelop it but I refused… So I’m afraid it’s dead at HBO.”

While HBO would have been ideal for getting as close as possible to a perfect Preacher adaptation, all is not lost. “I’ve heard someone is in the process of getting the rights to turn it into a feature film,” Johnson added. Personally, I’d prefer to see Showtime pick up where HBO left off as they’ve proven they can do dark and edgy with series like Dexter and Californication.

Better news on the Ennis front came yesterday when it was announced his most recent comic book series, The Boys, had not only been optioned but already had writers assigned to script duties. The Hollywood Reporter says Matt Manfredi and Phil Hay will adapt the ongoing series into a feature film. Ennis and illustrator Darick Robertson created the series in 2006, and a trade softcover of the first six issues was released with a forward by Simon Pegg. The only bad news here can be found in Manfredi and Hay’s portfolio… Crazy/Beautiful, The Tuxedo, Aeon Flux…

The Boys takes place in a world where irresponsible, hedonistic, and immoral superheroes exist and the secret government squad of the title is tasked with monitoring their activities. The books poke fun at Marvel and DC heroes but also push the boundaries of what to expect in a comic. Here’s a sample, per Wikipedia, of Billy Butcher’s (one of The Boys) motivation for joining the team, watching the heroes, and killing them when necessary…

“The cause of his campaign against superheroes stems from the rape and death of his wife, Becky. Butcher woke up to find his wife disemboweled on their bed, with her prematurely born, superpowered child crawling out of her. After it attacked Butcher with its heat vision, he killed it by beating it to death with a lampstand. After reading Becky’s diary he learned the identity of his wife’s rapist, who is described as ‘one of the big boys.’”

Add in political commentary, cunnilingus on a menstruating superheroine, celebrity satire, paraplegic fetishes, incredibly dark comedy, and hamsters in assholes, and I may have found my second favorite comic book series of all time. Now pardon me, I need to go read The Boys to some street urchins.

George Miller Continues to Hold Out Hope for ‘JLA’

Neil Miller — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 15:19:25 +0000

I’m growing tired of this George Miller guy. First it was the dancing penguins in Happy Feet, who were fun for a while but ultimately they were annoying. Then it was the ridiculous penguin-esque garb that he wore to the Oscars in 2007, seen below to the left with Cameron Diaz in his arms. He annoys me. I want Mad Max George Miller back.

Then of course, there is the whole situation around the film Justice League: Mortal, which most likely the root of my annoyance at this point. We’ve been reporting on this film since last fall, when casting was said to have begun. From there, it has been a roller coaster of ups and downs for the production, with casting rumors running rampant, production issues all over the place — heck, they even got kicked out of Australia, Miller’s home country — and ultimately Warner Bros. chose to put it on the back burner, taking it off the board for 2009. Making the situation worse was the fact that Marvel, DC Comics’ mortal enemy, had struck out on their own and found success with both Iron Man and The Incredible Hulk, leading to the announcement of a live-action Avengers movie for 2011. This had the higher-ups at WB scrambling for a way to better utilize the DC Universe. They have since announced absolutely nothing. But to their credit, The Dark Knight is doing alright.

Now, as the success of The Dark Knight pushes the superhero genre into what could be its golden age, this ugly beast that is Justice League: Mortal has once again reared its ugly head. In a recent interview with the Herald Sun, Miller apparently “conceded production had been moved offshore, with a plan to resume filming next year.”

As well, actor Jay Baruchel, who was originally cast as Maxwell Lord in the film, made some comments to the gents over at JoBlo regarding the production, saying that while no progress has been made, he would be ready to drop everything if production should once again ramp up:

“Well it’s been postponed indefinitely. And it keeps getting postponed. And each time it gets postponed, the chances of it getting made seem to decrease…It’s never been officially over. So there’s always that. In a heartbeat I would drop whatever I had going on to do that. That movie and what I get to do in it is like nothing I’ve ever seen or would ever get a chance to do again.”

It appears that we have conflicting statements from different parties. Then again, the word of the director is usually the one we go with in a situation like this, as they are more closely tied to the production. And by that logic, it would seem that George Miller (at least within his own mind) is gearing up to shoot some sort of Justice League movie next year, placing a release somewhere in 2010 territory, possibly going head-to-head with the likes of Iron Man 2 and Thor.

And even if you believe all of this, that still leaves us with a production that was a complete cluster to begin with. There are still plenty of other production hurdles to overcome, including continuity issues with the current Batman and Superman franchises, as well as the upcoming Green Lantern production that Greg Berlanti is working on.

Here is my solution to this problem: Ditch a Justice League movie. It is clear that Warner Bros. was not prepared for this, otherwise the damn thing would be in production already. George Miller commented that actress Megan Gale (pictured right) absolutely blew him away in her Wonder Woman screen test, so why not use that to its fullest potential. Why not just make a damn Wonder Woman film already? Boot up that franchise, combine it with a kick-ass Green Lantern flick and then someday down the road, maybe in 2012 or 2013, rock our worlds with a Justice League movie. Is that so hard? Personally, I would rather see two quality franchises get started than see one big one become the epic failure of the next decade. Then again, that is just one fan’s opinion.

Anyone else have an opinion they’d like to share?

Hancock vs. Tonight, He Comes: What Is, What Was, & What Will Smith Could Have Been

Rob Hunter — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 22:47:24 +0000

Will Smith’s Hancock has had a rough two weeks. The reluctant hero may be impervious to bullets and trains, but that hasn’t stopped critics from unleashing a barrage of verbal vitriol in the hopes of knocking the high flying film back down to Earth. The Metacritic average score sits at 49 out of 100. Rotten Tomatoes scores even lower at 36%. And while Hancock is a box-office hit making over $100 million in its first five days (yes naysayers, $165 million and rising still counts as a hit), it seems to be less of a blockbuster than it could have been.

The most common slams against Hancock seem to focus on the lack of a cohesive story and a poorly handled plot twist halfway through the film. For some people, the film reeks of test screenings and too many sticky fingers in the cookie jar. Or sticky cooks in the kitchen. Or fingers in the cooks. You get the idea. Not coincidentally, FSR’s resident tae kwon do instructor and porn aficionado, Robert Fure, recently ranted about studio meddling, and he used Hancock’s reported changes from script to screen as his trigger. For all the studio’s bone-headed thinking though, it could have been worse. Smith recently revealed to MTV.com that he was offered the title role in Bryan Singer’s Superman Returns relaunch, but (wisely) passed on it. “You mess with white people’s heroes in Hollywood, you’ll never work in this town again!”

Hancock first reached public awareness in 2002 when Variety announced a spec script sale by Vy Vincent Ngo (although the script was apparently written six years prior.) Tonight, He Comes was the script’s title, and it was reported to be a dark tale about responsibility, redemption, and a morally bankrupt “superhero”. The script was recently leaked online and having read it and seen the final film version, it’s easy to see both the initial attraction and the eventual disdain from studio heads looking for a new summer blockbuster franchise. How dark and different is the original script from the eventual film? By way of comparison, there was a depressingly gritty screenplay several years back called $3000, about a coke-addicted hooker who falls for a john only to get kicked out of his car, and ends with the hooker on a bus heading for Disneyland. You’ll remember it as Pretty Woman.

A few caveats about the script for Tonight, He Comes. First, while I believe the script is legit, there has been no official confirmation or denial from Ngo or his representatives. Second, film scripts often list the version or revision date/# on the title page as a way to differentiate between drafts. There’s no such mention here, so odds are good this is the initial 1996 spec script and not one of the many revisions that followed through the years. Third, the goddamn heartless bastard who first posted the script online didn’t realize that one of the pages was blank. This wouldn’t necessarily be a big deal… but it’s the second to last page of the script and there’s some pretty heavy shit going down during the ending! (So Mr. Ngo, if you’re out there, feel free to send over page #125… I’ll do my best to find you some FSR swag in exchange.)

There are SPOILERS ahead for Tonight, He Comes since few people will actually take the time to read it. There may also be minor SPOILERS for Hancock, although I probably won’t reveal the twist or the film’s ending.

Tonight, He Comes is neither blockbuster material nor the beginning of a franchise. It’s not even an action movie. If a genre label absolutely had to be applied it would be drama with a dash of black comedy and a splash of spooge. (The script’s title is both an ominous warning and a filthy statement of fact.) As in the film, the hero chooses the moniker “Hancock” after someone asks for his John Hancock… except instead of a nurse it’s a seedy clerk in a sweaty and sex-stained motel. Hancock here is one foul, confused, depressed, pissed-off, fucked-up, sex addicted asshole. Will Smith is not the first actor you think of when reading this script. He swears, smokes (and encourages a child to smoke), shits, jerks off, watches porn, screws hookers… the role seems tailor made for Philip Seymour Hoffman actually. At least until he starts killing police officers and attempts to rape a woman. A Will Smith summer tentpole movie this isn’t.

He’s more than just a murderous asshole though, he’s also a tormented soul. In a cape. He has Superman-like powers… he can fly, he’s impervious to bullets, etc., and he’s chosen (or feels obligated) to use them for good. “I gotta do what I gotta do,” he says repeatedly throughout the script, a credo that applies to more than just his role as the city’s protector. He can literally do just about anything, and he’s not above using his powers for his own base desires. Hancock would like to walk away from it all, but guilt and obligation get in his way even in his dreams. He longs for a role reversal from savior to the saved… he just needs someone to save him.

The Longfellow family is comprised of Horus the flaccid father, Mary the strong and sweet mother, and Aaron their bully bait son. Horus is a security guard for a company whose motto is “To Observe and Record”, and he has taken to applying that principle to his daily life as well. Real cops (and even neighborhood kids) mock him on a daily basis. He tells his son to turn the other cheek when confronted by bullies and violence. Circumstances have beaten him down to the point where he’s more of a witness to life than a participant. He knows it, his wife knows it, and Aaron is learning it as well.

“Horus, battling the ketchup bottle. Face bright red, knuckles white to the bone – like he’s taking a constipated shit. Aaron watches this: his father wrestling ketchup… and losing.”

Hancock’s first contact with the family comes when he foils a bank robbery/hostage situation that had ensnared Mary. He finds himself later that night outside the the family’s home listening to Mary singing to her son, and he decides she’s his best chance at salvation. Hancock soon ingratiates himself in with Mary and Aaron, helping him with the bullies and attempting to win her over in the process. The two are soon meeting outside of the home and away from the family… Mary intrigued and unaware, Hancock intent and obsessed. The sweetest moment in the script comes when Hancock tries to impress her with a gift from the cloudy sky above.

“He is wet from his flight and his hands, we notice, are cupped together tightly… Hancock uncups his hands, releasing a billowy mass of white something – it hangs in the air, and then dissipates into moisture. It showers into his open hands. Mary reaches for it. Too late.”

Mary’s in awe and wonder of this superman, but when his attentions turn more intimate she draws a clear line. Horus may not have super strength, but his love for her and Aaron, his dedication to his family, the fact that he is a good man, these are the things that make him super. When she refuses to capitulate to Hancock’s desires he takes matters, and Mary, into his own hands.

“Hancock takes her away – like booty. Aaron dangles from his cape, trying to save his mother. In vain. The superhero springs into the night – with his woman.”

Horus meanwhile thinks he has seen the writing on the wall. His lovely wife Mary married down, and in the presence of a real man like Hancock she’s come to realize her mistake. He’s wrong of course, weak in both action and thought, but this belief fires him up with an anger he’s never felt before. When the warehouse he “observes” is raided by thugs he has the option to escape, but instead returns to face the threat. Horus defeats the intruders before catching a news report regarding Hancock and Mary. The hero and the hostage are holed up in an abandoned factory with the town’s entire police force surrounding them. After retrieving his son and hearing what happened, it’s Horus’ turn to spout the familiar mantra… “I got to do what I got to do.”

The script climaxes at the old textile factory with a bloodbath of epic proportions. Hancock leaves Mary stranded on an upper floor, flies down to face the police, and proceeds to rip them limb from limb. Helicopters and cars are tossed like toys, heads and limbs are severed like the fleshy nubs they are, and soon the town’s entire police force is no more. Hancock returns to Mary for a carnal reward, but is interrupted by Horus. Horus, who before tonight chose to ignore and avoid confrontation, now confronts certain death by facing Hancock in a feeble but valiant attempt to save his wife. Hancock’s battle with the police and with Horus takes its toll on the textile structure and it suddenly collapses with Mary inside. The two men stop fighting… Horus rushes to dig out his buried wife… Hancock drops to his knees, roars, and cries.

Page #125 is blank… and then the Longfellow family is happy at home, Horus and Mary canoodling in bed, and Aaron peeking in contentedly. The end.

If you’ve seen Hancock, then you know that 95% of the events above didn’t make it in to the finished film. Nor could they in a PG-13, summer blockbuster starring Will Smith. Hancock has a villain, albeit a very weak and uninteresting one, but the script has none (aside from Hancock himself.) Hancock loosely (and unsatisfactorily) explores his origin, but the script doesn’t even try. Hancock on the page is the only one of his kind, but in the film… well, the less said about that the better. Hancock’s hero is redeemable, but as scripted his brutality has crossed a few too many lines for his character to recover.

Tonight, He Comes uses the conceit of a superman to explore what it means to be a regular man. It’s fresh, funny, and has a very distinct voice. Filmed as written, the film may have found critical and niche success and possibly gone on to become a cult hit on DVD. But no studio aims for a “cult hit”… they want as big a box-office return as possible. Hollywood is more than a dream factory, it’s a business with a bottom line which means their goal will always be making money. And a movie where the superhero masturbates in a bathroom doesn’t exactly scream blockbuster fun for the whole family.

“Hancock drops his pants… latches on to his magnanimous member… our superhero stands, bent over a bit, yanking up a storm. His body convulses under said stimulation. He GROWLS… and BOOM, we hear a baby explosion… Debris everywhere, in shambles. Smoke. And in the ceiling, a gaping hole, seething still from the launch.”

‘Friends’ Like These Coming to the Big Screen

Rob Hunter — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 09:00:09 +0000

It seems FSR Exec. Editor Neil Miller isn’t alone in his jealousy of Sarah Jessica Parker’s wardrobe and recent success with the Sex and the City movie. Jennifer Aniston has reportedly gone green with envy over that film’s boffo box-office, and has channeled it into a green light for a film version of her own hit series, Friends.

Aniston has long been rumored to be the lone holdout since talks of a movie version first began, which was most assuredly mere minutes after the series finale in 2004. This makes sense as Aniston is the only cast member with any real film success in the past four years. She hasn’t actually made any good movies mind you, but she’s had some box-office winners like Along Came Polly and The Break-Up. The Daily Mail Online is reporting that after Sex and the City’s much better than expected haul Warner Bros. has started scouring its television library for more potential hits. An inside source, always a guarantee of reliable information, says “Jennifer, Courteney and the rest of the cast are keen to reprise their roles, under the right circumstances.”

What could those circumstances be I wonder?

The insider continues… “It really comes down to money, and I don’t think Jen has a problem with all of the Friends getting huge paydays for the movie.” Wow! Not only is Aniston the most successful Friend, she’s also the most caring and considerate! None of the cast should be hurting for cash as their last few seasons of the show found them each earning record paychecks per episode. Courtney Cox, Lisa Kudrow, and David Schwimmer have worked steadily since the show’s end… Schwimmer directed the recent comedy-lite, Run Fatboy Run. Matthew Perry seems to be taking a break after the failure of his preachy but fun tv show, Studio 60. Matt Le Blanc? No one knows where he is. But hey, much like friends, you can never have enough money.

Warner Bros. hopes to have the aging sextet in front of the cameras within the next eighteen months. It’s too early for word on any potential storylines, but as the plot isn’t as important as the paydays don’t expect anything earth shatteringly original or exciting. My only request would be to bring back Brad Pitt as Will Colbert, co-founder with Ross of the ‘I Hate Rachel’ club. The episode he starred in from season eight is easily the funniest of the series, and I think he may have had a relationship with Aniston off camera too… which makes his character so humorously ironic!

Would you be interested in a Friends movie?

Indie Comedy ‘Nailed’ to the Ground

Paige MacGregor — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 17:25:23 +0000

Production of the indie comedy Nailed, starring Jessica Biel and Jake Gyllenhaal has been shut down yet again, making this the fourth time the film has been put on hold. According to Variety, the halt was due to financial problems (although I suspect that the real problem lies in the production team’s casting choices…). Variety reported:

Below-the-line crews refused to work Friday. After members of the Intl. Alliance of Theatrical & Stage Employees were not paid, IATSE leaders ordered them not to show up at the South Carolina set.

A person familiar with the situation said the production’s expected to resume Monday for the final two days of principal photography, including a key restaurant scene.

IATSE crews also stopped production twice in May after not being paid, then resumed after receiving paychecks. The Screen Actors Guild also ordered its members to stop working on May 9 after film financer Capitol Films failed to deposit enough required money in SAG accounts set up to pay the actors.

“One more shutdown will kill the movie,” a film executive told The Hollywood Reporter this month. The shoot around Columbia, which started in mid-April, was supposed to end Sunday, but it is unclear as to whether or not filming did indeed resume Monday. This fourth setback probably means that we can expect to see Nailed in theaters, assuming it is ever finished, sometime towards the end of 2009, or perhaps even in the early months of 2010.

Nailed is directed by David O. Russell (I Heart Huckabees) and co-written by Russell and Kristin Gore (Arctic Tale). According to the film’s IMDb plot summary, Nailed centers on a small town waitress who accidentally ends up with a nail lodged in her head, causing unpredictable behavior that leads her to Washington, D.C., where sparks fly when she meets a clueless young senator who takes up her cause. Even without such a terrible plot and “financial problems,” Nailed is doomed to failure. Need proof? Just take a look at what Jessica Biel did to seasoned actor Nicholas Cage in that box office bomb Next (2007), which was in theaters about as long as Southland Tales and other movies (both good and bad) that you’ve never heard of.

Editor’s Note: FSR is officially mourning the loss of the opportunity to make references to Jessica Biel and the word Nailed without being inappropriate. That loophole in decency will be sorely missed.

More Spider-Man from Sam Raimi?

Robert Fure — Sat, 07 Jun 2008 01:09:05 +0000

Sam “I used to be the Man until I directed the toilet bowl of a film called Spider-Man 3” recently talked about the future of the Spidey series. I’ll cut right to the chase and show you what he said:

“James Vanderbilt is writing the script and I’m excited to read it. I think it’s going to be done in a few months,” Raimi told us, adding, “I’m hoping it’s as great as our discussions were about it and I’m hoping it feels right for me because I love Spider-Man. I’m hoping I’m well rested enough to embrace it and I’m hoping Sony wants me to do it. If all of those things come together, I would love to do it. There are a lot of unknowns about the future.”

In terms of casting, the Evil Dead helmsman had this to say:

“I’d hate to re-cast anybody in the future, I can’t imagine that.”

So what’s good about this? James Vanderbilt. He wrote Zodiac, which was a good film. Hopefully he can bring some of that to the Spidey franchise. Also good, there will be a Spider-Man 4. Even though the third installment was about as good as a poop covered stick being shoved up your urethra, I love Spider-Man and want more.

So what’s bad? Raimi wants to keep the original cast. I’m so over Tobey “The Face” Maguire and Kirsten “The Tooth” Dunst. She was miscast from the start and Maguire has grown stale in the role and doesn’t seem to give a damn anymore. I wouldn’t mind one bit if we got a new cast in there, as long as it was Shia LeBeouf or someone under 24.

So what’s neutral? Sam Raimi coming back. I used to be a huge Raimi supporter, but Spider-Man 3 was Bataan Death March of films. I’m still seething with anger over it to this very day, and its been more than a year. RAAAAAAAGE!

Source: ComingSoon

Sound Off: Should Raimi stay on to direct? Would a new cast keep you away from theaters?

Tom Cruise is Ready for His Close-Up Again, Mr. Singer

Neil Miller — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 18:11:34 +0000

Variety editor-in-chief Peter Bart is blogging — and yes, I know that is one sign of the apocalypse — today that superstar of fake religion Tom Cruise, who was most recently seen giving Adam Sandler a hysterical into at the MTV Movie Awards, is engaged in some reshoots for his forthcoming Nazi assassination flick Valkyrie.

In the film, which is being directed by Superman Returns helmer Brian Singer, Cruise plays Col. Claus Von Stauffenberg, a Nazi officer who leads a secret group of defectors in a Hitler assassination attempt. As you can imagine if you’ve read a history book, the plan probably doesn’t work, as Hitler was not assassinated by Von Stauffenberg. And just as the plot failed back in the day, the film seems to be continuing the trend with a few release date changes, signs of production problems. It is currently slated for a February 13, 2009 release date — nothing like releasing your Nazi film on Friday the 13th, Tom.

As for the reshoots, Bart is reporting that Cruise will be shooting three scenes in North Africa over the next three weeks. One of the scenes is allegedly a “key moment” in the film’s first act. Hopefully it is the “key moment” where the fuzzy bunny shows up and teaches the Nazis the meaning of Hanukkah, because that would be the only entertaining thing I can think of out of a film that stars a bunch of American and British actors playing Nazi officers.

Yet, while there is a lot about this project that bothers me — note the non-accent issue — I am not going to fully pass judgement until I see the thing. I also refuse to be against the film just because Cruise is a Scientologist, as some people have already done. Just because the guy kidnapped Katie Holmes and forced her to birth the second-coming of Xenu, that doesn’t mean all of his movies will suck. He is not John Travolta and this is not Battlefield Earth… yet. Plus, to hate someone famous because they are crazy is total BS. There are probably other, more acceptable reasons to not like Tom Cruise.

Sound Off: Do you hate Tom Cruise because he is a Scientologist, or because his recent movies are bad?

New Spider-Man? Sony Says Tobey’s Still Their Guy

Robin Ruinsky — Fri, 30 May 2008 16:16:58 +0000

Musical Interlude to the Spider-Man Theme Song:

“Spider Man 4, Spider Man 4. Looks like Maguire, might be shown the door. If he’s gone, what to do? Looking for a Spidey, that’s really new”

Who will don the suit? Who will have the power to leap from building to building using sticky web gunk shot from his wrists? Is there anyone out there that looks good in Spandex?

A rumor has been circulating that the hunt is on for a new Spider-Man to star in Spider-Man 4 and Spider-Man 5. Spider-Man 3 wasn’t exactly good, so why not just soldier on and make a couple of more Spider-Man movies?

I’m thinking the franchise does need a change. Call it “Spiderman” in which a mild mannered New York proctologist, Al Spiderman, is a super hero by night fear inducing doctor by day. Do something really new! Cast an older Al Spiderman. Dustin Hoffman! Al Pacino!

Alright, alright, back to reality.

One of the names that has popped up to take over the spandex suit is Patrick Fugit, from Almost Famous and White Oleander fame. But Sony shouts “No!” it’s all a lie! Tobey is still our guy. The exact quote from Sony was:

“Tobey Tobey, He’s our man. If he can’t play Spidey, No one can!”

Okay, it wasn’t the exact quote.

Alright, then, if Maguire is still the man, the main arachnid, at least let Spidey really mature. I know, I know, he was allowed to graduate from High School and go to college and become his evil twin Skippy in the scary black spandex.

But what if Spider-Man has a kid? Will he pass his spidery attributes on to his offspring? Will he marry Mary Jane? Will she spin a big egg sack and have a zillion little Spideys who will fly around the Parker house leaving webs stuck to the walls?

Okay, I know, I know, it’s all too much, but it’s Friday.

Tarantino’s Inglorious Bastards in 2009?

Robert Fure — Tue, 27 May 2008 19:48:08 +0000

Recently at Cannes, director Quentin Tarantino gave an announcement of sort, talking about what his next film will be. If you’ve followed QT news over the past 8 years, you’ve undoubtedly heard the man promise Inglorious Bastards was next up year after year. The World War II action flick would follow a group of Allied soldiers marked for execution being given a chance to redeem themselves by taking a suicide mission against Nazi Germany.

Rumored stars include QT staple Michael Madsen and Reservoir Dogs co-star Tim Roth. The film takes its title from the Italian WWII movie Quel maledetto treno blindato, which in America, was released as, surprise surprise, Inglorious Bastards. Because Tarantino clearly lacks originality (lets be honest here people) you can tell the film is clearly borrowing from notable World War II films such as The Dirty Dozen, Where Eagles Dare, and The Great Escape.

Let’s also take a moment to break this down. It is basically April 2008. Tarantino said that he wants to bring this flick to Cannes 2009. That gives him under a year to produce a finished cut. Even on a rushed schedule, that’d be something like 10 weeks of prep, 6 weeks of shooting, and 10 weeks of post. That’s a full 6 months in an absolute best case scenario. Considering financing hasn’t even begun and the shooting period and post period could easily be double what I allotted, the odds of this happening are low. On top of that, Quentin has taken like 5 years to just do the first draft, meaning that we still probably have another 2 or 3 drafts to go. What I’m really trying to say is don’t hold your breath for Inglorious Bastards.

Here is a transcript of what the man said, from our friends at /Film.

“Oh, yeah, no. The next movie I’m doing is my WWII movie Inglorious Bastards. I actually just finished the first draft of the script and when I go home I’ll be finishing it up…and if all goes well [pregnant pause] I will be here 2009 at Cannes with my war film INGLORIOUS BASTARDS!!! [applause].”

There you have it.

Source: Cannes 2008 via /Film

Sound Off: When do you think we’ll actually see Inglorious Bastards?

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