Film School Rejects » Cinema Sleuth

Cinema Sleuth: Fox and the Case of the Outraged Fans

Dr. Cole Abaius — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 00:21:39 +0000

There are some questions in life that one puzzles over furiously. Who built Atlantis? Who framed Roger Rabbit? Who was the twenty-eighth President of the United States? They are mysterious that WILL NEVER BE ANSWERED. Today, we examine a tricky one by asking: are movie fans justified in hating Fox?

The question of course stems from the recent outrage at Fox’s legal bravado that (never really) could have stopped Watchmen from seeing the light of day. There’s a lot of ire floating to the surface that’s lain dormant since the last time Fox did something ridiculous or ruined a fanboy franchise.

In investigating this particular conundrum, I realized that instead of theories to develop, it would be much easier for you to give you pieces of evidence. So, like a private dick presenting you with photos of your girlfriend cheating on you, I give you Exhibits A through P and will let you decide.

Exhibit A: 27 Dresses
Budget: Unknown
Domestic Gross: $76.8 million
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 41% (Rotten)

Exhibit B: Meet the Spartans
Budget: $30 million
Domestic Gross: $38.2 million
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 2% (Rotten)

Exhibit C: Jumper
Budget: $85 million
Domestic Gross: $80.1 million
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 16% (Rotten)

Exhibit D: Nim’s Island
Budget: $37 million
Domestic Gross: $48 million
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 49% (Rotten)

Exhibit E: What Happens in Vegas
Budget: $35 million
Domestic Gross: $80.2 million
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 27% (Rotten)

Exhibit F: Deception
Budget: $25 million
Domestic Gross: $4.5 million
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 12% (Rotten)

Exhibit G: The Happening
Budget: $60 million
Domestic Gross: $64.5 million
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 19% (Rotten)

Exhibit H: Meet Dave
Budget: $60 million
Domestic Gross: $11.8 million
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 19% (Rotten)

Exhibit I: Space Chimps
Budget: $37 million
Domestic Gross: $30.1 million
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 38% (Rotten)

Exhibit J: The X-Files: I Want to Believe
Budget: $30 million
Domestic Gross: $20.9 million
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 32% (Rotten)

Exhibit K: Babylon A.D.
Budget: $60 million
Domestic Gross: $22.5 million
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 7% (Rotten)

Exhibit L: City of Ember
Budget: $38 million
Domestic Gross: $7.8 million
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 51% (Rotten)

Exhibit M: Max Payne
Budget: Unknown
Domestic Gross: $40.6 million
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 18% (Rotten)

Exhibit N: Australia
Budget: $130 million
Domestic Gross: $47.7 million
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 54% (Rotten)

Exhibit O: The Day the Earth Stood Still
Budget: $80 million
Domestic Gross: $77.3 million
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 20% (Rotten)

Exhibit P: Marley and Me
Budget: Unknown
Domestic Gross: $123.7 million
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 60% (Finally Fresh!)

My exhibits are, obviously, the 2008 Fox Release Slate in its entirety. These are the films that Fox set loose upon the public last year.

There’s a lot going on here to investigate. On one hand, they made quite a bit of money – at least enough here and there to deal with the massive bombs they had until cleaning up with Marley and Me. On the other hand, they didn’t really make too much on domestic sales alone, and there’s only one movie in the whole damned slate that got a Fresh RT Rating (and a lukewarm 60% at that.

Their output received an abysmal average of 29% when it came to RT Ratings, so it’s clear that the critics were not in Fox’s corner.

Perhaps the biggest crime committed against fanboys was the destruction of two beloved franchises: the unnecessary remake (that failed to break even) of The Day the Earth Stood Still and the unnecessary reboot sequel X-Files: I Want to Believe. It’s clear that these transgressions got fanboys ready for a fight against Fox. And Fox was willing to give them even more cannon-fodder with their 11th hour lawsuit against Warners for Watchmen rights.

I leave it up to you to play judge and jury in this mystery. Sure Fox is hitting below the average as far as critics are concerned, but is the anger and aggression felt toward the studio really warranted?

Cinema Sleuth: Kate Hudson and the Case of the Collapsing Career

Adam Sweeney — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 20:22:49 +0000

There are certain questions in life one puzzles over furiously. Stonehenge. The Lost Colony of Roanoke. Child-proof Packaging. Today, we examine a tricky one by asking what the hell happened to Kate Hudson’s career?

It was in Cameron Crowe’s Almost Famous (2000) that Penny Lane was in our ears and our eyes. Hudson gave a captivating performance as the love-struck Band-Aide, gaining a Golden Globe win and an Academy Award nomination for the role. At this point it seemed like Hudson was ready to step out of the shadows of the celebrity family that clouded over her, having been raised by Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell. Then for whatever reason, something went wrong. Very wrong.

Fast-forward eight years later and we see Hudson yukking it up with soon to be Academy Award nominee Anne Hathaway in the painful Bride Wars. Now even the greatest talents are afforded a few critical bombs. Robert De Niro made Showtime … and a few other stinkers. Brad Pitt and Julia Roberts made a date with film disaster in The Mexican. So nobody’s perfect. However, when your single best performance is followed by nearly a decade of awful entries, then it’s time for a talk. So let’s discuss why Kate Hudson slid down instead of climbing up the hallowed halls of Hollywood.

Keeping it in the Family

It’s not up for debate whether Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell have staying power in film. Both actors have been swimming in the acting pool since at least the 60s, and both have put on memorable performances (Russell particularly is close to my heart with films like The Thing). But would anyone say either is an amazing actor? Hawn won an Academy Award for Cactus Flower but isn’t known for substance so much as her looks. Russell is at his best in action films, which isn’t necessarily the highest form of art. Both have made their fair share of trash with The Out-of Towners, Poseidon and who could forget Sky High? Well, many have tried to. One can look up the fractured family tree and make a case that Hudson is perhaps just playing below the level of her parents.

Mirroring Jennifer Lopez

Some actresses aspire to be scream queens. Others stake their turf in period pieces. But Hudson seems to be leaving her legacy in the genre of romantic comedy. Why she or Jennifer Lopez, aka The Ass That Ate Chicago, chose to do so is beyond me. Both gave solid performances in their young careers before flaming out. In less than a decade Hudson has done a career’s worth of damage with films like My Best Friend’s Girl, Alex & Emma, You, Me and Dupree that are below her talent level. Sure, it’s an easy paycheck and it gives couples something to watch on dates, but Hudson has nearly focused all of her efforts on films that are as light and unsatisfying as eating a rice cake.

The Matthew McConaughey Syndrome

Sure, you have heard of How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, but did anyone not on drugs watch Fool’s Gold? And did you know its working title was How to Divorce a Guy in 10 Days? There should be a Hollywood axiom when it comes to choosing co-stars that goes like this, “Act with Matthew McConaughey once, shame on the agent. Act with McConaughey twice, shame on you.” Yes, McConaughey has shown acting chops in Dazed and Confused and A Time to Kill, but Kate Hudson and McConaughey will never be mistaken for Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. And I bet there is a romantic comedy chock full of dance numbers Hudson and McConaughey’s agents are trying to attach them to because of that last sentence. Damn it, Kate. Don’t do it. Think about the children, Kate! Think about your future!

Eating Black Crowe

Hudson not only had a rock star romance in Almost Famous, but she brought in the blues with The Black Crowes frontman Chris Robinson. Why didn’t Drew Barrymore pull Hudson aside and say, “look at me sweetheart. Seriously, look at me and see why you don’t date rock stars.” Since then Hudson has separated from Robinson, doing the Austin two-step by dating Owen Wilson before later dating cyclist Lance Armstrong. Showing up on TMZ more than awards lists is never a good thing, I don’t care what Paris Hilton tells you.

The Marisa Tomei Factor

There are critics aplenty that still shake their heads when they remember that Marisa Tomei won an Academy Award for My Cousin Vinny. Some say she found lightning in a bottle that year, and perhaps that is the case with Hudson’s performance as Penny Lane. Is it a case of the right role coming along at the right time? Maybe. Where the similarities end between Tomei and Hudson is seen in their resumes. Tomei spread out her bad films (The Watcher, What Women Want) with a fair share of films with weight (In the Bedroom, Chaplin, Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead), and has now jumped back on the radar in a big way with The Wrestler. Hudson has stuck her feet in romantic comedy cement the past eight years, and could do well by taking a turn to the dark side in the vain of Tomei. (Somewhere a critic wants to shoot me for advising an actress to imitate Marisa Tomei. Deal with it.)

The Verdict:

We’ve sifted through acting equations like Russell Crowe in A Beautiful Mind and given you all the variables. There is no single answer as to why Kate Hudson’s career isn’t flourishing. It instead remains a mystery, like the riddle of the Sphinx … or how they get cream filling into a Twinkie. If it is any consolation to fans of Hudson, she is still a young talent and 2009 might regain some of her sparkle in the highly anticipated Nine and Big Eyes, a drama centered around the life of painter Margaret Keane. Hopefully in the future we will look at Hudson’s career and be able to debate as to what was her most brilliant performance, instead of watching Almost Famous, sighing and asking, “what happened?”

Film School Rejects » Cinema Sleuth

Cinema Sleuth: Fox and the Case of the Outraged Fans

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