
Name: Mister Hand
Location: Memphis, Tennessee
Reject Since: June 2007
Email: misterhand@filmschoolrejects.com
Bio: Mister Hand is a 36 year-old Memphian, a non-graduate of the University of Memphis. There he managed to non-successfully acquire a bachelor’s degree in Film and Television Production, having left college to play in a rock and roll band for five years. After traveling all over the Southwest United States, drinking a lot, developing an ephedrine habit, and becoming a typical egotistic, unmanageable lead singer, he left the life of rock and roll and settled down to be a raging film geek. In his free time, he writes bad screenplays and incomplete novels. His favorite food is butter.

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The Adventures of Young Indiana Jones: Volume One FSR’s Mister Hand, resident Indiana Jones freak takes a look at the long awaited release of The Adventures of Young Indiana Jones on DVD. Comments (2) |
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Watching the opening moments of Kazuaki’s Kiriya’s Casshern, you might find yourself thinking you’ve found a serious science fiction gem. Set in the 21st century, mankind has endured a fifty year war, and is now suffering the consequences. Nuclear fallout, rampant disease from biological weapons, and horrible mutations threaten the human race. Comments (1) |
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Does anyone remember Jarts? They were large darts with metal ends. You set a target in your yard, hurled the lawn dart in the air, and hoped it landed within the target. One of the few times Reeker tickled my imagination was in a scene where a blind man describes how he was blinded by a Jart, leading to a recall of the item. Be the First To Comment |
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Fright Night To Be Remade. And Really, Just Stop Already! Not too long ago, I realized that my girlfriend, some years my junior, had never seen the film Fright Night. I had fond memories of the 80’s Hitchcockian vampire flick, so I rented it, and we watched. Whoa. There’s a movie that didn’t age well. Still, for its time, it was a very fun B-movie with an eager cast, featuring the last good role Roddy McDowell would ever play before his death. Be the First To Comment |
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Macy, Walken and Freeman Team Up? Don’t Get Too Excited… That sounds like an awesome match up, doesn’t it? The only thing I could imagine more badass would be Spider-Man, Batman, and Wolverine. But there’s some off-putting details to accompany the news that these three powerhouses will star in a movie together, as reported by Variety. Be the First To Comment |
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FSR Recommends: The Agony Booth I discovered The Agony Booth a number of months ago. The name of the website refers to an old Star Trek episode that features a chamber which exists for the sole purpose of inflicting unspeakable pain upon anyone unlucky enough to be locked in it. (It gives William Shatner an excuse to engage in some classic high thespian staggered screaming and convulsing when his Captain Kirk character is victimized by the contraption.) Comments (2) |
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Jim Broadbent Joins the Next Harry Potter Jim Broadbent will play Horace Slughorn in the next Harry Potter film, according to an interview he gave to Garth Franklin over at Dark Horizons. He also discussed some minor details regarding his role in the upcoming Indiana Jones flick. Comments (1) |
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Anti-War Movies Tank in Toronto. And Maybe That’s a Good Thing. Todd McCarthy at Variety has some words about films depicting the Iraq War and how they didn’t fare so well recently at the Toronto Film Festival. He then proceeds with a short but challenging rant describing how these films fall into two basic categories, and they are both (according to him) essentially predictable and dull. Be the First To Comment |
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New Friday The 13th Movie In The Works The original Friday the 13th was nothing but a pale imitator of countless slasher flicks that were pale imitators of John Carpenter’s Halloween, which itself was nothing but a pretty good imitator of Dario Argento (The Bird with the Crystal Plumage, Deep Red Hatchet Murders). So now Shock Till You Drop.com announces that Platinum Dunes is working on a remake of the film that is a basic reworking of a genre invented some thirty-odd years ago and filtered by a decade of derivative crap. Comments (2) |
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Young Indiana Jones on DVD… Finally Those of us who have been waiting for a very long friggin’ time to own Young Indy’s adventures on DVD are about to be all sorts of happy. In case you are unaware, George Lucas produced the relatively short-lived Young Indiana Jones Chronicles for network television back in 1992. At the time, it was pretty groundbreaking television–with each episode shot on location in various exotic settings all around the world. It was an early attempt to make the T.V. experience something more cinematic. Comments (1) |
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Actor Jesper Christensen (aka Mr. White), is set to reprise his Casino Royale role for the latest entry in the Bond franchise, according to Cinematical. But that’s not the coolest part. Not by a long shot. In case you haven’t seen it, I won’t spoil the ending of Casino Royale here (there is a spoiler in the Cinematical article), but trust me when I say it was twenty-four karat awesome. Comments (2) |
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What sounds more fabulously awesome than a movie about the last days of Pompeii, directed by Roman Polanski, with production values out the yoo hoo (to the tune of $100 million)? Nothing. That’s what. There is officially nothing on the planet that sounds more awesome than that. And if you disagree, then you need to brush up on your history. Comments (3) |
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Kathy Griffin Censored Following God’s Puzzling Refusal to Smite Her Kathy Griffin, according to Yahoo News, will have her Emmy acceptance speech censored when it airs on E! and Fox this weekend. In her speech, she said, “a lot of people come up here and thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus.” Kathy is reported to have made other “off-color” remarks in regards to Jesus. Comments (7) |
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It is widely known that film critics love to hate films that some moviegoers just plain love. We all have those films that are guilty pleasures, but not necessarily because they were bad, yet more because they got the ole’ critical shellacking. FSR’s Mister Hand runs down his list of Ten Films that were great, despite what the pesky critics said. Comments (12) |
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Sean Penn Really Needs to Lighten Up According to The Hollywood Reporter, Gus Van Sant is set to direct Sean Penn as openly gay politician Harvey Milk in a new film. Matt Damon is set to play Milk’s assassin. Okay, that sounds really cool. Really. I can’t wait to see it. And I am not being in the least bit facetious. But anytime I see the name Sean Penn, I wish I could somehow pull him out of the newsprint by the lapels and scream, “Lighten up, dude!” Comments (1) |
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Tim Burton Gets Lifetime Achievement Award (Perhaps Twenty Years Too Early) Lifetime Achievement Awards tend to lose their luster when they get passed out like candy. Recipients are given the award based on what they have achieved over a lifetime, which can be a pretty long stretch. Maybe it’s just me, but I expect the honoree to basically have one foot in the grave. Be the First To Comment |
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Contrary to Hollywood Wisdom, Nicolas Cage is NOT Right for Every Part Nicolas Cage is considering playing the part of Thomas Magnum for a new Magnum, P.I. movie. First of all, in my humble opinion, there’s no good reason to make a Magnum, P.I. movie. The show is now very old, and has dated about as well as most television shows about private investigators (which is to say, not very well). Comments (1) |
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John Singleton has mentioned Ejiofor as a good fit for the role of the Black Panther, should a film about that comic book hero ever be made. I read my first Black Panther comic when I was a kid. Stranded at my grandmother’s house in Durant, Mississippi (Population: 100) by my parents for the summer, I walked into a convenience store and found exactly one comic on the shelf: Black Panther. Comments (3) |
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Howard Stern Porky’s Remake On Track John Campea at The Movie Blog is not optimistic about Howard Stern’s upcoming remake of Porky’s. The project (which I first heard about before Stern made the jump from so-called “terrestrial radio” to Sirius Satellite) has been long on development and, thus far, short on results. But last week on his radio program, Stern pointed out that his film Private Parts was in the script stage for four years. So by that standard, Porky’s has been right on track all along. Comments (1) |
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Norton Getting Writing Credits on New Hulk Film Sometimes you get news about an upcoming film that inspires such an intense reaction, you have to wonder about your priorities in life. (And when I say “you,†of course, I mean “me.â€) I’m certain it’s not normal to get so all a-flutter over comic book movie news as I do at times. If it is normal it probably shouldn’t be, because that’s sort of sad and maybe a little sick. I mean, really, they’re just movies we’re talking about here. It’s not like these people are out there developing cures for cancer. Be the First To Comment |
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Oh, sure, I could wait until tomorrow and actually see the film and then review it, but then you wouldn’t have the benefit of my opinion until tomorrow, when the film is actually released–at which time you could very well go and see it for yourself and write your own damn review. Be the First To Comment |
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I’m getting older now, and I get a little fatter with each passing year. And I have other habits that are bound to lead to my early demise. So I’m offering this as an open letter to any movie producer who might want to help a guy out. Here is a suggested [...] Comments (1) |
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Wiseman, Butler Team Up to Remake Escape from New York It’s remake season again, and if you keep yourself very quietly crouched in your geek blind, you can hear the fanboy squawks as they drift gently over the water. What are they squawking about today? How about an Escape from New York remake from the dude that directed Underworld and a badass king from Sparta. Be the First To Comment |
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Where Did Mr. Woodcock Come From? And Who is this Neil Gaiman Guy? While I was reading an article on Cinematical about David Slade (Hard Candy, the upcoming 30 Days of Night, which may wind up being the most awesome movie ever) being tapped to direct Gaiman’s Neverwhere (which I’ve never heard of), my eye was drawn to an advertisement for a film called Mr. Woodcock starring Billy Bob Thornton. Comments (5) |
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Trailer: Reservation Road (Mmmm… Jennifer Connelly) Thompson on Hollywood has the trailer for the upcoming film Reservation Road, which, to my thinking, could only look better if the title was Jennifer Connelly Naked for 120 Minutes. I try to not be a pig. I really try. Be the First To Comment |
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Shatner and Nimoy Mix it up over ‘Trek’ Reboot Who is the finest actor to ever walk the Earth? If your answer wasn’t William Shatner, you got it wrong. Take Shatner and imagine him in the Brando role in Apocalypse Now. What happens? It’s suddenly a much better movie. Or, at least, the last half hour is. Comments (1) |
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Raimi Set to Direct Hobbit film? Ryan ‘The Rican with the Irish name’ McLelland over at Latino Review says that the rumor that Sam Raimi is “the new Hobbit director is FACT rather than fiction”. This rumor has been circulating awhile over at TheOneRing.net, but it now seems to be gathering force, like a dark cloud over Isengard. Be the First To Comment |
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The Five Best Scenes from a Comic Book Movie There are an awful lot of lists out there arguing what’s the best comic book movie. But after watching some of these films, I wanted to give some credit for going balls out with a scene–a single, passing bit of business that really takes your breath away, even in cases where, overall, the movie might not be all that great. Comments (2) |
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Bourne Remembers Everything; O’Reilly Knows Nothing Our friends at /Film have dug up a review of The Bourne Ultimatum, as written by Bill O’Reilly. O’Reilly points out that Matt Damon and Julia Stiles are progressives, and accuses the film of anti-American propaganda. Comments (1) |
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And We Thought We’d Seen the Last of McG… After CHARLIE’S ANGELS: FULL THROTTLE bombed like the fist of an angry God slamming into a 10,000 megaton super dooper hydrogen bomb, I was worried. I mean, surely the genius of McG could not be stifled so soon? Fear not! McG’s brief candle is not so easily snuffed! Be the First To Comment |