I can only describe this movie by one of it’s climactic scenes: Bam Margera proceeds to call his mother, April. Sitting on a sand dune, he is flying a kite explaining to his mother about how nice the weather is. He goes on to explain he’ll be flying a kite… with his ass. How? With Anal beads. So with lube liberally applied, he inserts 4 beads deep into his anal cavity. With Bam kneeling on Miami Beach, the kite takes off in full force. Sailing high, he begins to scream and the kite runs tense. It occurs to everyone how excruciatingly painful and how much of a bad idea it was. Doesn’t matter though, everyone is laughing so very hard and can’t focus on the fact he’s begging for relief.

Typical Jackass? Nay.

Jackass has always been skit based, over and over till it’s bone-shattering conclusion. 2.5 is a documentary. It’s a culmination of bad ideas and failed skits that didn’t make it into Jackass 2. Segments include how the director couldn’t film because Johnny Knoxville would continually try to pee on him and Steve-O walking a plank above a firewalk and trying to up the danger because he knows a skit is going “straight to dvd”. Each time, the boys up the violence trying to make the movie, and failing because more violence adds to more screams and drama, but loses the Jackass feel.

Bonuses on the DVD include random skits that don’t make the movies, Making of “Jackass: The Game”, a photo gallery and a preview for Wildboyz. Most of these bonuses are commentary based, assuming that the boys are coherent in the act of the stunt. There are a few where alcohol or xanax were persuasive enough to make people climb on port-a-potties and swat down remote control planes like king kong, or have a strong man hit a phallic object into Bam’s ass… at high speed.

If sick movies, and twisted humor are your thing. Awesome, this DVD is a great item. CKY fan, a collector of all things Jackass? Buy it immediately. This is a cringe worthy pain fest. Weak stomach? Afraid of pubic hair, or vomit? Can’t watch guys being inherently gay while inflicting pain? Or a fear of cobras. Avoid this at all costs. I am a sick bastard, so this movie tickled me pink. But.. if you’re not sick.. Go fly a kite.

I give it a B- on the premise of “it is what it is”. It’s Jackass. If you don’t like it, haven’t liked it, you won’t like it and have no business buying it. If you like it, know it, love it. This is your DVD.

Grade: B-

Don’t you feel like you’ve been here before? How many times can we take a half-baked movie centered around a semi-pro sport? How many times can a bully be defeated in order to save a girl and earn back the pride of a chubby hero? How many times can we really watch a film about ping pong? I know what your saying, “But Josh, I love ping pong. I always watch it at 3 am when I’m drunk and laying next to a woman… well I think she’s usually a woman”. Ultimately though, that’s how Balls of Fury would best be taken in… totally drunk.

I’ll go out on a limb. Christopher Walken shows up, but his whole shtick of being Christopher Walken is starting to wear thin. Some of his best work was the Fatboy Slim video in which he dances on tables. That was different for him, and that’s what made the this movie potentially interesting. I was categorically disinterested in George Lopez and Dan Fogler. Both of whom seem to have been cast relative throw away roles. Rounding out the cast is James Hong, who.. in what stretch of truth, plays a Chinese man who’s good at ping pong. Wow… Careful, don’t strain you’re writing chops. Holy shit.

Long story short, Randy Daytona (Dan Fogler) is an amazing young Ping Pong player who becomes a legendary loser at the ’88 Olympics. In doing so, he causes the death of his over-bearing father (Robert Patrick), an event that puts Daytona into a tailspin of bad career moves. Years later, an FBI agent (George Lopez) comes to Daytona with the idea that he could avenge his fathers death. In doing so, Daytona also helps the US Government. Basically this is like Miss Congeniality, with the same amount of suck and some added douchebaggery.

The highlight of the film is an excellent crotch shot via use of the Ping Pong Paddle. That’s about it, from here on, I can’t take it anymore. Balls of Fury was simply bad. I give it a D-, but only based on the inclusion of Christopher Walken; and because someone takes a shot to the junk in an original manner. I had to search for reasons not to fail this movie. I did, honestly, I sat alone and even wondered how “The Walken” could fail me. I know that I will need to sacrifice my “Man Card” for saying this, but he was better in Hairspray.

The Upside: Raunchy “balls” comedy usually owns.

The Downside: It didn’t. Neither did this movie.

Okay, I promised more JLA rumors and I never fail. IESB has a snoop over at the studios and seem to be getting an incredible amount of detail about the movie and how it’s being forced through, due to an impending strike. I wont spoil the actual story in the article, so you can scroll down if you want to read script notes and someone DYING in the movie!!!!

However whats clear is nothing is truly clear. Brandon Routh was in and then out, Tom welling did the same. Directors will be adding Martian Manhunter and are fleshing out storyboards as we speak. We’re looking as fans to a 2009 launch of this movie, which is a blistering pace for what we’ve come to expect for the industry.

Sadly, the notes also have some contradictions. Leo, Jake Gyllenhaal, Jessica Biel, Bruce Willis, Mel Gibson are names being tossed around, however “Action Boy” says it’ll be young actors early in their career. The JLA will be almost in full effect so expect a serious ensemble cast — and a film that could end up on par with Batman and Robin.

Below is the actual letter from “Action Boy” to IESB. It’s got spoilers, so beware!!

This is an actual and direct quote from Action Boy to IESB, quoting a friend who apparently was hired by George Miller and hand selected to help on this movie. Take that for what it is worth.

-martian manhunter will be added to the league. he’s a george miller favorite.

-previously, flash was set to be killed. after word leaked about that, they’re changing who dies (See script summary for who).

-the heroes will be younger, and in the first couple years of their career. this not an origin film though. the league already exists. manhunter though, will be played older and wiser.

-WB is planning to cast very big for the heroes. names thrown around: jake gyllenhaal, leo dicaprio, jessica biel. mel gibson is liked for max lord. scarlett johanssen for talia. bruce willis was mentioned for lex. tom welling isnt happening.

-george miller already has a small group of men working on storyboards, script revisions, concept designs, costume designs, etc. WB wants this for 2009. miller isnt wasting time.

george miller has some script revisions already underway. heres the general summary of the whole story based on miller’s personal treatment that i read, major major spoilers:

max lord and talia al ghul are the black king and black queen for checkmate, the government agency. they have a mutual agenda against caped heroes. talia’s reasons for despising super heroes is ambiguous, but there are some vague references to her father and his ideals. max’s reasons are far more defined: a couple years ago his fiancee was caught up in a battle between superman and metallo, she lost her life. he’s since seen heroes as a plague that need to be exterminated. this is one of the reasons he creates the OMACs. he plans to use them to rid the world of super heroes, since the robots can be the perfect policing unit which can also be controlled by the government and work for their agenda. he is even going head to head against lex luthor for the contract, who has created similar technology. max also plans on using the OMACs for his own personal agenda…believing that checkmate should be running the government, a sort of coup would put him in power. the OMACs will also be using human hosts, the technology takes over the body. max lord plans on using heroes as host bodies to result in stronger OMACs (a superman omac being the big prize). theres even a few scenes planned for early on in the film where OMACs take over b-list DC characters, fun cameos for the fans. at one point in the film, even flash and GL will become OMACs.

the JLA will consist of: superman, batman, wonder woman, flash (wally), green lantern (jon), aquaman, and martian manhunter. there will be a bunch of humor earlier on at their headquarters showing what heroes do when they are bored with no crime to fight. meanwhile, batman is off investigating heroes that have been picked off by OMAC’s.

anyways, a group of shape-shifting white martians travel to earth and find max lord, well aware of his status in the government (it would appear white martians have a past with checkmate). they ask for refuge on earth to escape an aggressor who is at war with them. max denies them, knowing they will then invade earth and take refuge anyways (how he knows this and why he wants it will be later revealed). the white martians leave very angry and sure enough make plans to invade earth.

as the martians invade, the heroes come out, and so do max’s OMACs. this is max’s chance to prove to the government their worth and how much better they are than the super heroes. the fight against the white martian invasion will be the chunk of the film. during this time, the heroes become very aware of max lord, his story, and his agenda. they come into direct conflict, and more is revealed about him. about half way through the film, it will be revealed that max is a shape shifting white martian himself (not even the other martians knew this), but he was banished from the white martian community long ago which is when he traveled to earth. also, he’s not only been disguised as max lord infiltrating the american government plotting a take over…but he’s also been disguising himself as JLA member martian manhunter! working to infiltrate the heroes, learn their secrets, so he can eventually take them down using the OMACs. enraged at his betrayal, wonder woman snaps his neck, killing him! breaking the league’s no killing policy. she stands behind her actions against a very pissed off batman and superman. still fighting the invasion, batman ends up being able to reprogram and take control of the OMACs and they use them to defeat the martian invasion.

but in the last 20-30 minutes of the film, a new threat will arrive. its the agressor that has been at war with the white martians. they have followed them to earth. its darkseid! darkseid and his army finds the white martians defeated and a new challenge in the JLA. the JLA goes to battle with him and his personal cronies, while his army attacks the country. in battle with darkseid himself, superman is killed! now regretting her actions, and recognizing superman’s heroism, wonder woman begs her gods to take her life force and spare superman’s. her gods comply. wonder woman dies, and superman is revived. he single handedly takes out darkseid. the heroes are overwhelmed by the rest of his army though. lex luthor appears on scene with his tech army (the one he was using to get the government contract against max lord). together they stop the invasion.

How many times did you find yourself, dodging axes from VILE henchman wielding axes thrown at you, because you got too close. Ruth Less or Sarah Nade would have stolen the sphinx and it was your mission to bring it back! Creating a warrant, and trying to bring that bitch in. However, she was always so hot, and it was like you could never catch her, and her voice was always… borderline phone sex operator hot.

Why hasn’t this been made into a movie you ask? There was one attempt with Sandra Bullock in 1997 (who would have been excellent casting) honestly, but it fell through for no good reason. Now is the time to strike, while the iron is hot. I will give you definitive reasons why Carmen Sandiego needs to go into production.

1. Because the Oregon Trail couldn’t be made into a movie. If I can’t get dysentery, or lose a wagon wheel and 5 days, then I want the next best thing. Carmen Sandiego was fun. It was something you got into with little commitment and knew how it’d end but you didn’t care. The perfect movie, you know what it is and isn’t and it doesn’t apologize for it’s self. Carmen would escape in the end. That’s how it has to be, and no one would feel bad if it happened. You’d root for this badgirl!
2. Angelina Jolie now exists in bad ass form. If she could channel her Mrs. Smith body and style she’d be the perfect woman for it. Tall, busty brunette, smooth and sexy. She personifies who you’d root for too. The gumshoe could be Chris Evans, give him an opportunity to be a little dapper in a suit and go upscale spy movie. He’s got it in him, and anytime I could see Jolie as a sultry spy, you can sign me up for.
3. Hot women movies always rock. When a girl dresses up like a badass, and kicks ass or long periods of time, men applaud. Women feel a sense of feminism and love that too. It feeds the egos of both sexes while still delving into an awesome movie which is a simple make.
4. We’ve not seen women really play the bad spy with success, and she’s the quintessential thief. We all root for Carmen Sandiego even though she promotes villainy worldwide. She’s hot, and smart, and her henchmen are classic. They could be the bumbling bad guys we all root for, but still be ultraphysical. Think Bourne Identity, with much more upper class and stealthery.
5. It couldn’t suck worse than the show. That show was a colossal disaster, it sucked so bad I can’t even tell you. The show was a big fat smothering bowl of suck, with a side order of hash-crap. We all watched it, because you wanted to see someone get their huffy white heat, or a boombox with new cassette decks. Man did that suck worse than a $2.15 Donkey Show I saw in Tijuana once. I’ve seen much better Donkey Shows before.
6. It could go on forever, Time, Space, American history, mathematics. Do you remember how many spin off games their was. This could be the new female James Bond, except more badass, and evil. This could be the anti-hero series we root for, and that’s awesome. I totally cheer for the bad girls, mmmm bad girls.

I can’t think of more reasons why other than, I said so. Because if I’m going to watch my entire childhood relived, because the 80′s sucked so bad. I at least want to make the correct choices as to what I’m going to be forced to see. I’d see Carmen Sandiego.

I’m writing this letter to you, in hopes it finds you in the middle of JLA, Superman 6, or whatever bastardization of TMNT you think will sell you a few movies. I’m taking a stand. If I wanted my childhood molested any more… I’d offer it candy and a seat in the back of my Jeep.

Electra, Daredevil, X-Men: The Last Stand, Spawn, Dick Tracy, The Hulk… Okay, this list is already pissing me off. I’m a 24-year-old guy sitting behind the computer I paid for — I realize that other than the occasional episode of Rocco’s Modern Life that I see, I really have gotten past the childhood I had. Occasionally I go back to the nostalgia of seeing my He-Man set, and Castle Greyskull, or the GI Joe hovercrafts. I have a few Lion-o minis in moving boxes, but that’s the extent. Why can’t we be happy with that? No, you just can’t, can you?

What the hell? X3 was a big steaming pile of cinematic feces. I defy anyone here to find a comic book where Cyclops dies and it’s still the freaking X-Men. Electra stunk of gay so badly, that even blockbuster can’t give it away fast enough. The Hulk? Yeah.. that went over well. My childhood is taking a brutal sphincter pounding, so I’m standing up for it.

League Of Extraordinary Gentleman, Catwoman, Judge Dredd, and Howard the Duck all had comic book fans, and how did they do? They flamed out and crashed in slow, painful box office deaths. Honestly, how much better was GI Joe, or Captain Planet when I was little and watched it the first time? I woke up one day and realized that I used to watch a show that involved the superpower “heart” and it made me question not only my sexuality, but the sensibilities of parents worldwide.

You’ll never make movies cooler than they were in the comics. There are occasional aberrations that are $200 million investments because they have to be. Transformers was a mega movie; if it wasn’t, it never would have worked. You’ll never put that much effort into any of the comics I used to love. I’ll reference Batman and Robin if you doubt me.

And now a fellow Reject, Paige just informed me that Thor and Voltron are also in the writing stages of production. That’s it. One is a pre-Power-Rangers robot which was incredibly overrated and painful to watch. The other is a Pseudo-fag with a long blonde mane who will bring his hammer of might and… give you a… pounding… with.. Okay, I can’t finish that.

All in all, do you see where I’m going, Hollywood? For every Transformers, there is Tank Girl, Howard the Duck, and Barb Wire. Don’t put a leash and gimp mask on my childhood. It has been raped enough by teen Hollywood fashion and new TV. If you decide to run train on the remnants of my childhood, lube up and go. Just know, I won’t stand for it.

Crying Rape Against Your Brutish Ways,

Joshua Martin
Reject

P.S. If you’re going to rape my childhood this much, then where the hell is my Carmen Sandiego movie?! Come ON, guys!

This news week has been all a-twitter with the possibility of a JLA movie getting fast tracked through the pipeline, making sure it gets done as quickly as possible, with the possibility of making a mega movie.

First, today news broke that Brandon Routh may stay Superman, but wouldn’t agree to JLA at the moment. Now on the denial bandwagon is Christian Bale. In talking to the boys and girls at IESB, he came out with a very flat and meaningful quote. After saying not only he wouldn’t do JLA, but he’s not even been approached about it.

Bale told IESB, “It’d be better if it doesn’t tread on the toes of what we’re doing, though I feel that it would be better if it comes out after Batman 3.”

There you go. Not only has he not been approached, but he won’t do it, and wouldn’t consider it. He also subtly hints that after this trilogy, he may be out. Leaving us with the impression, he’d not want to waste his three movies without the director and vision.

So you’d have two concurrent superhero franchises, and a movie that would be pertaining to those movies with different actors as them. Does that sound like the worst idea ever? It does to me.

Lets hope that JLA either falls through, or they have the balls to cross over good movies. I’d not mind Superman Vs Batman IN a movie. Guest appearance of Flash in the Superman movie… coming in and out enough they could make a separate movie. I just think that would be the best. JLA, seems bound for failure.

And if you’re looking for more failure, stay tuned to our site pertaining to JLA.

The site also has a video in which Reynolds dances around like a coy little fairy because “he doesn’t know if he’s allowed to talk about it.” However, Reynolds does know that he attaches well to the alter-ego and the character Flash, and he’d be honored to play them. How he’d know that? Oh, Probably because they plan to shoot in the next year. That would insinuate he’d seen opening scripts for the movie, or at least been pitched.

Most of the time that’s industry code for “I have the part, but I can’t talk because my contract has me on lockdown like a little bitch.” I really hope they go back and watch Blade: Trinity really closely. They’d see an over the hill black vampire, one Man/woman, and the worst male super hero actor in existence. All compliments to Ryan Reynolds because he has played some quality parts, but he’s not THAT guy. Not to mention that once you date Alanis Morrisette your man card is immediately and unconditionally revoked. He might as well try out for Mystery Men 2, because Justice League would never let anyone who’s been inside that hippy onto their crime fighting team.

There seems to be a glut at the top of the Comic movies as of late, and it seems we’re on a crash course with another one? Why does this matter to me you ask? There is more money to be made, and production companies want their fingers in as much as they can. There has been talks of a Wonder Woman movie, Aquaman TV show, and everyone knows The Green Lantern.

What better way to cram all that down our throats but a Justice Leauge of America movie. They want to start production in 2008. 3 Months after Dark Knight finishes and right before Man Of Steel starts. Which brings havok on the existing superhero franchises. The boys and girls over at IESB gave us this little tidbit:

“When the news broke that JLA (Justice League of America) was moving forward with a script written by Kiernan and Michele Mulroney, speculations began that the follow-up to Superman Returns, The Man of Steel, would be delayed or even completely scrapped.

WB studio sources quickly said that was just mere speculation and The Man of Steel was still planned for a first quarter 2008 start date. Even recently, Brandon Routh told us the same thing during a quick red carpet interview at the premiere for Transformers.”

What does this mean to you. Routh and Bale each only have 3 movie contracts, and one of those three can be an ensemble movie. Which would mean, after Dark Knight and Man Of Steel… No more Routh or Bale without serious re-negotiations.

This all fits in with the Katie Holmes as Wonder Woman rumors, among others. The question is, who the crap are they going to fight and what is the budget going to be on this movie? I’m trying to list the times comic movies have gone ensemble and won? Uh none, that’s right folks none. It just doesn’t out for anyone in those movies. It’s a way to dump second tier heroes into the market and make me suffer.

I’m pretty sure this is going to end up a marketing rape situation. They’ll dump this on the market. I’ll eat JLA lays, cereal, drink JLA pepsi, and puke them all up during their atrocious movie.

Okay. We’ve all been virally addicted to The Dark Knight. I’ll even admit to thinking this movie will bring the freaking house down. Boy was I wrong, It’s not going to bring the house down. It’s going to implode a freaking building. Holy shit, I guess this town is getting an enema.

I’m not even kidding. As Peter at /Film explains, on August 29th the Batman crew plans to implode a 4 story building (The former Brach Candy factory) in Chicago. It will be filled with gasoline and other flammables to really make it look spectacular. It’ll then be CGI’ed into the movie for a scene in which I can only speculate that will be the beginning of Gotham on fire.

Whats yet to be known, will public be able to see it. Will it be on TV everywhere? Currently, The Dark Knight is in the IBM building and is on location as it’s “Wayne Enterprises” for the next week. However, as more things get totally obliterated, I’m sure we’ll keep you updated with more news!

The Dark Knight is due to hit theaters in July 2008.

Now, I’ve sacrificed enough GI Joes in my microwave to know just who stands up well under pressure. And I also know GI Joe rumors have abounded as of late. Most circling around directors and lead actors. I for one can tell you most of the director rumors have fallen through. However, there is one rumor that has turned out to be true.

Apparently, the original script of this was written for Mark Wahlberg to be Rusty and Jason Statham to be Action Man (as reported by IESB). Wait.. who the crap? ACTION MAN?! Yes I said it, apparently the English didn’t like GI Joes so they had Action Man. What does this mean, while 99% of the characters will be familiar to us Americans, there will be an international cast that reference the international toys. The goal was to not eliminate potential viewers.

First, Marky Mark has done one too many “I can shoot guns” movies, but Jason Statham? The guy comes fully equipped with a Kung Fu Action grip, just watch just about any movie he’s in. But Action Man? Ugh. This movie is plummeting quick, soon Teddy Ruxpin will replace Cobra Commander. Opinions? Hopes? What do you think of Jason, and who should play Cobra Commander?

Editor’s Note: It was also rumored today by Mania.com that Stephen Sommers (Van Helsing), who was originally attached as the director of the ‘Joe’ flick is now off the project. Allegedly he wanted $10 million for the project hand the studio said, “Um… No.” [via Screenrant]

Strap your turbans on folks, there is a new Michael Meyers movie coming June 20th 2008. “The Love Guru,” an original character from Michael Meyers is the first since Austin Powers and looks to be hysterical. Also in it are Romany Malco, Jessica Alba, and Verne Troyer.

Meyers plays Pitka, an orphaned child left in India and raised by gurus. Once moved back to America, he is assigned to fix a relationship between a star hockey player (Malco) and the scorching hot owner (Jessica Alba). Pitka has to reunite the couple and get the coach (troyer) on board to get the player and owner back on track toward a championship, but will the owners love for another player on a rival team get in the way? How could it not.

Don’t forget June 20th 2008, Michael and Jessica hit the ice!

Your favorite red underwear having superhero is coming back in September 2009. News has recently been leaked about the movie by none other than the screenwriter, Michael Dougherty. He, in talking to some dude on the street, spilled some beans about the upcoming sequel, to a sequel.. to… damn how many of these movies are there? Anyways, Dougherty leaks that there is going to be two villains in the movie!

From CHUD: “In a recent conversation with an average joe (who happened to be a Superman fan posting over at the Man of Steel forums), Dougherty said that Superman: The Man of Steel was still on track for a Summer 2009 release, and would continue following where Schumacher dared to tread by adding two villains this time.”

One of the movies is the whiny, bald headed Lex Luthor, played by Kevin Spacey. He played an above average Lex, but nothing too special. I think he was a little too gay and weak as Lex. Lex always struck me as what Tony Stark would be, if he was bad. The other villain however is up in the air. Fans have called for Brainiac, I would call those fans retarded. I, personally, want to see Doomsday. I don’t need some brutish musclebound, plane-lift fest. I want to see someone ruin Supes. He deserves a total thrashing, as he never TRULY catches an ass-whipping. It’s always the Kryoptnite. Doomsday truly ruins him in a way that makes everything superman real. I love it and I hope they go that route!

What do you think???

The movie is directed by a straight-to-dvd director Joe Nauesbaum, and debuts September 21st. The premise is a college bound Bynes tries to become a Kappa sorority girl, but doesn’t get accepted and goes a different way. She falls in love with a guy, look I’m rehashing a story that’s been told what…. 3.4 million times? Just check the trailer, it looks interesting. Either that, or you’ll totally watch it 4 times like I did.

From FirstShowing.net:

Also, take a look at the poster below:

SYDNEY WHITE hits theaters on September 21. Will you be ready?

Shia Lebouf, Megan Fox, Tyrese Gibson, Josh Duhamel…. oh, and OPTIMUS FREAKING PRIME… all performed outstandingly under the direction of Michael Bay.

Holy crap.

No one can deny that there has been a whole shit storm of bad movies and sequels this summer, all of which feature an average story with weak-at-best appeal. Transformers, however, was orchestrated by a man who defines summer blockbuster, and was delivered on the back of a FREAKING TRANSFORMING SEMI WHO NOW OWNS PART OF MY SOUL. I will revoke your man card if you don’t go see this movie at least once.

No joke.

I’ll Google-map your house, show up, and revoke your privileges as a human male.

This experience was emotional, heart wrenching, and amazing. I’d argue it’s borderline a religious experience. There is action and story within 5 minutes of the start of the movie. I promise you after this movie, you want to stand up and clap like the members of a southern Baptist Church.

This movie revolves around a group of robots from a planet far from our own who go to war. The planet splits into two factions of war: the noble and honest Autobots, on earth to protect humanity, and a violent, unkind, destructive force known as the Decepitcons. Both are brought to earth to find an elusive cube called the “alspark” which will create life of whomever possesses it. The Autobots are on earth to find it and protect it, use it for rebuilding their planet, or destroy it. The Decepticons are on earth for one purpose alone, to get the cube and create an army to take over earth.

Placed square in this middle of the story is Shia LaBoeuf, or Sam as his character is called. Sam’s great grandfather found the cube a long time back, and hid how to communicate with and find this in clues he left. Sam was never intuitive enough to find it. That is… until Sam buys a yellow car, which is his baby. Bumblebee, as it’s affectionately known, is along to make sure that Sam doesn’t fall into the wrong hands and create havoc.

The robots owned.

I wont give up ANYTHING on them (i.e. who they are or why they come), however. If you want to see them, go see them for yourself. If you spend $10 at your movie theater to see it, you simply didn’t spend enough. The robots are amazing, outstanding, lifelike and hysterical at moments. It was great. I won’t tell you which ones other than Optimus and Megatron. Every single robot in this movie is amazing.

Megan Fox plays Sam’s love interest. She’s beautiful in the movie, and she’s not too froofy. She’s sexy when she has to be, so that viewers can buy the romance aspect of the film, but by no means is Megan a damsel in distress. This fact makes the storyline work beautifully. I didn’t have to suffer through too much love story. Yes, there was sexual tension. Most of the sexual tension was comedic and enjoyable for everyone. There were a few moments that wouldn’t be great for LITTLE kids, but that’s to be expected.

Josh Duhamel and Tyrese Gibson gave great performances in their roles as U.S. Army soldiers. I know they didn’t get top billing, but they were amazing for second and third billing. Personally, I was impressed with how well Duhamel performs in the movie. Most people canned the notion of him and Gibson, but as a team they were funny and entertaining; an asset to the film. I’d like to see Bay expand these characters more in the future. You felt genuine emotion for both guys and that’s a hard thing to accomplish with a motion picture.

Holy sweet crap. A++. I couldn’t and wouldn’t see this movie any other way. 15 minutes into this movie, I wanted a sequel.

If you want things to love about this movie, look no farther than the scintillating performance of Mr. Depp as the somewhat morally challenged, always lovable, Captain Jack Sparrow. He finds his inner rock star in a character that he has played to perfection not once but twice before. This time the good Captain stumbles, cajoles and schemes his way through several exotic locations. From the end of Dead Man’s Chest, you know the terminally wishy washy Elizabeth Swann, seduces Sparrow into Davey Jones locker. When the crew is posed the question, “would you travel to the ends of the earth to fetch back wicked Jack?”, all members present agree to take Captain Barbossa, played to evil perfection, by Geoffrey Rush, as their leader to fetch back Jack and the Black Pearl. Depp is at his best in this movie when everything around him is disintegrating into oblivion. Depp also reaches down and every little bit of compassion that Jack Sparrow has to give, and brings it to the screen. He was nominated for an Academy Award for the first POTC, this performance could easily match that acclaim.

As for the rest of the ensemble cast, there were serious chops being flexed as well some acting that was so pedestrian that it makes Stephen Segal look like a master thespian. Orlando Bloom reprises his role as the eternally sat upon pseudo-pirate Will Turner, who has more internal strife than a wino on dollar beer night. He seems to me, that he is a school kid waiting for the school bully to come and give a super-wedgie. It’s a small wonder why Keira Knightley would consider the Swashbuckling uber-pirate Sparrow over the brow beaten orphan. As far as the lovely Elizabeth Swann, Miss Knightley finally finds solid ground to stand on with the big boys, she more than holds her own when sharing the screen with larger than life actors such as Depp, Rush and Chun Yao Fat. When she is required to command the screen she reaches down and finds a pair of brass ones. There are still many other performances to include the super slimy Davey Jones, portrayed by the ever ghostly Bill Nighy. Even his oft wooden performances find new emotional life in this POTC.

After icing my butt cheeks for two days, I find that the entire spectacle of POTC: At World’s End really found a soft spot in my heart. With a solid plot, and exceptional action it works on many levels. The giant scenes, sets and characters make for an enjoyable and long viewing at the movies. The action and tongue cheek humor work as much now as they did in the first POTC. As with all the POTC franchise it wets your appetite for more and more, hopefully someday we’ll see Captain Jack Sparrow and the Black Pearl on the high seas again.

The premise of this movie is Cris Johnson was born with an ability like any other. Cris was born with the ability to see into his future. How far? Two minutes into his life, and only thing directly affecting his life. Except he’s found one exception. He has had one vision in his life of a female who comes into what appears as a waffle house. He has a time and where, but he doesn’t know when and it could be weeks in the future. He’s never seen this far and it could be directly related to his life somehow, but he knows he’s in love with her. Can this really make a good movie?

Sitting in the screening, I didn’t mind it for the beginning. Look, I’ll be honest. Suspend disbelief when you watch this movie. As you fall right into this story, Cris keeps his talen a secret from everyone. However, there is a character you never ever meet who knows about his talent and the entire FBI know about this talent. The FBI starts tracking him because the antagonists in this movie have stolen a 5 kiloton nuke with plans of exploding it somewhere between LA and Arizona. Pin meeting a girl and sleeping with her in a day on that, and you’ve got the beginning of the story.

Nicholas Cage plays the hero, whom can see the future. Honestly, the role will remind you a lot of a Sci-Fi National Treasure-esque guy. Not a bad role by any means, honestly in this movie he’s almost funny. His character has a little bit of style and flair but it’s still like Nick Cage. There is no way around that, and if you are into him, then okay. It’s no Con-Air though.

Jessica Biel is the love interest in the movie. She doesn’t play a butch superwoman for once. I was happy to see her in her role, and I liked it. She was believable and really gave his love interest some fun. I thought she did really well, so I was impressed with her second billing on this movie. Jessica showed a compassion and emotion that was enjoyable and exciting.

Julianne Moore? No. Horrid. She honestly was one of the worst parts of the movie. She’s not a believable cop. She’s stiff, awkward and compensates for control with bitch in this movie. It doesn’t work, and she comes across as a douche. In no way does she seem like someone that would become this top level agent. On all of that, what FBI group goes after a guy who can see only 2 minutes into the future, or whom even believes that?

The ending is what ruined this movie. I won’t spoil the ending, but it just keeps it from being a good movie. I gave the movie a 79.95. You can round it up to a B-, because Jessica Biel walks around in a towel, but if you’re a hard grader it’s a C+. You won’t be mad at yourself for spending the money to watch it, but there are better choices.

Recently everything except See No Evil have been decent movies for wrestlers. Lets call it what it is, action movies have been more about gore and shock factor than they have been what they’re supposed to be. I am a male, I want to see hot girls, explosions, death, and some really great one liners. We don’t get that vary often, and that’s the general problem with movies recently. Why can’t this be a good movie?

It can, and it is. Steve Austin and 9 other people are criminals bought and sent to a secret island off the south pacific with the intent of filming them. Why? The last one alive on the island will be set free and given a new lease on life. Yeah there is a bunch of stereotypes and clich©s. They’re funny, so shut up. I love the fact that it is every clich© and story you’ve heard before. If you even bring up Battle Royal I’ll punch you in the ovaries. That movie was a copy cat too, it just had kids. It’s been done a million times before, but not like this.

This movie isn’t gory at all. The killings however are outstanding, and there are some genuine moments you’re feeling emotion. From a woman getting raped, and you half see it through the television, to someone getting shot with an arrow, and set on fire alive you feel for them. The camera is shaky in a crack kind of way, but in a blatant mocking of reality TV kind of way.

Vinnie Jones is one of the best villains I’ve seen in a while. He’s incredibly hate-able, and you grow to detest him. As you get more and more into it, he’s almost someone you root for because of his mean streak. There is a bit of a preachy moment, but it’s almost campy to the point you love it. That’s the sheer beauty of this film. It’s a little campy, it’s a little over the top. Just what to fix what ails you.

Look, overall. I liked it. There are some killings you’ll turn to your friends and have to talk about. From where someone totally jobs someone, to the craziest things you’ve seen in a while with an ending worth the price of admission.

10. Indiana Jones
Okay. I’m going to hear he was a super badass who constantly won. First off, without his whip, he dies early in a lot of movies. Relying on a prop really kills your badass-ititude, even for Indy. Plus, if there is a female in a 30 mile radius, he’ll forget about your fight and drop his zipper like a bitch. So, whip-less I’d just like to punch him in the face. Plus the whole act was overdone, and it just seemed like all the jocks in high school put him in his locker. Reason enough to keep the stereotype going. No teacher should be a badass without totally getting his world rocked. My right hand could be the deliverance of such.

9. Jackie Chan (Rush Hour)
Back in the day, I’d not come near this dude with a 40 foot pole. Jackie Chan went pansy in this movie. I totally would fight him in this movie. Anyone who dances with Chris Tucker needs punched in the face anyways. If you take away the super kung-fu of Chan, he is a horrible actor. So for that reason alone, ruining a whole catalog of movies, I’d want to fight him. Plus, like I said, he dances like a fool and tries to fit in. It just never works and he acts like a puss the whole time.

8. Val Kilmer (Batman Forever)
He gets outsmarted by Jim Carrey. Now, Riddler was one of my favorite Batman villains, but lets call a spade a spade, He was surpassed by only Clooney as making batman a big vag. So, in it’s self he almost ruined Batman and he needs punched in that reason alone. Honestly though, Bruce Wayne seriously needed his ass kicked royally at that point in the Batman series. How many people didn’t want to punch him in the wedding tackle for that movie, and for once I felt like I could lay out batman.

7. Buffy Summers
We could mud wrestle. I’m just saying… A fights a fight, even if she ends up naked. That’s how it always goes in the Girls Gone Wild movies. I swear. So, oil wrestling, Buffy summers, and a bikini. Deal.

6. Johnny Knoxville
I DEFY anyone to not laugh when Johnny Knoxville gets hurt. When I saw an 8 ball get dropped on his junk from 3 stories, or when he got bitten by an alligator baby. The shit he can physically take outpaces most real actors, which makes him an instant badass. However, I’ve got to admit, I’d love to beat the shit out of him. Each time you really fought him, he’d giggle, and you’d laugh so hard you’d want to beat his ass more.

5. Nicholas Cage in any movie he’s ever done
He constantly tries to be a badass. Ghost Rider, Con Air, The Rock, blah blah blah. Each one of his movies, he needs his ass beat hard. Honestly, name one time you didn’t see him in a movie and you didn’t want to re-arrange his grill. If I punched him in that fivehead he has, I’d feel so much fucking better. I’ve probably spent $300 on movies of his, and each time I spend money on it I remember why. From the movie National Treasure, where I’d love to pound his face in just on the sole fact that he was a huge bitch. That nerd in his movie could kick his ass.

4. Johnny Depp (Pirates of the Caribbean)
Single braid in his hair, and mascara. He may say something grammatically dominating, but he’s in makeup. Odds are you’ll end up half drunk, or putting him in an island someplace. He’d be a great fight just on the single fact that his acrobatics and situations would be the most entertaining.

3. George Clooney (Oceans Eleven)
Danny Ocean is a badass. Lets all own up to this now, he’s got a serious pimphand, and he’s got amazing friends. The problem here is, he’s a pansy. He can’t get his hands dirty at all. For not closing the deal with Julia Roberts, for being Matt Damon’s bitch, I think you need your ass beat. Plus he got strong armed by Andy Garcia. Wouldn’t you just want to be the living sweet shit out of him once, and steal his lunch money. Knowing that odds are, the worst your going to get is a quirky Brad Pitt? Lets all be honest, We’re all tired of George Clooney being the sexiest man alive. This movie he oozes that guy, and for once. I’d like to be the guy to ruin that plan.

2. Sly Stallone (Rocky Balboa)
Okay, So I liked Rocky when he beat Apollo Creed, but come on. He’s a steroid using bastard, and got caught by the aussies. Plus, lets be brutally honest Antonio Tarver wasn’t that good either. Eventually they take old horses out and shoot them and send them to the glue factory. At what point do we get to shoot Sly and not have to hear him. I swore I saw that whole movie and couldn’t understand 3 words he said. When do I get to punch this guy in the kisser? What… will you not understand him?
Yeah, I’d fight him, and I’d hand it to him. I’m no slab of meat.

1. Hayden Panettiere (Heroes)
Okay. An invincible cheerleader. It’s not a movie, so I’m sure some of you will balk. Whatever. If you could be as rough as you wanted with Hayden, doing whatever you needed to, and she’d heal?…. That’s all I’m saying.

So that’s my top 10. Have beef? COMMENT IT, let me know and hear who you’d replace and why. I’m always entertained at what badass you’d want to stomp a mudhole in and walk dry. All I’m saying is, Hayden Panettiere can be in every top 10 of mine, until she’s in the top 10 of my pants.

It will be formally named Jadarite when it is described in the European Journal of Mineralogy later this year. This mineral is nothing like the green glowing powerful rock that us fanboys know. Sadly it’s a powdery substance. It’s white, powdery, and has no flourine or no radioactivity. I call shenanigans! First off it SHOULD BE GREEN, whatev. Plus JADARITE? Come on, why can’t it be like… Kentonium, or something awesome. Leave it to the Brits to ruin the material that made people cringe worldwide.

Source: Yahoo

Jigsaw still haunts the living in “Saw IV,” forcing them to appreciate life, or face death. As a continuation of “Saw III,” Jeff must find his daughter and escape the building to which they are confined before they both die. After finding another tape of Jigsaw, Jeff realizes there may be a newly added piece of the puzzle that he must decipher before it’s too late.