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Penis biting snakes, flipping golf carts, and pooing in a plumbing store. If these things interest you, then Jackass 2.5 is your DVD.

Don’t you feel like you’ve been here before? How many times can we take a half-baked movie centered around a semi-pro sport? How many times can a bully be defeated in order to save a girl and earn back the pride of a chubby hero? How many times can we really watch a film about ping pong? I know what your saying, “But Josh, I love ping pong. I always watch it at 3 am when I’m drunk and laying next to a woman… well I think she’s usually a woman”. Ultimately though, that’s how Balls of Fury would best be taken in… totally drunk.

Okay, I promised more JLA rumors and I never fail. IESB has a snoop over at the studios and seem to be getting an incredible amount of detail about the movie and how it’s being forced through, due to an impending strike. I wont spoil the actual story in the article, so you can scroll down if you want to read script notes and someone DYING in the movie!!!!

Where is Carmen Sandiego could have been one of the most formative franchises ever. I would wreck on 5th grade Geography because Carmen would always be hiding in Cairo, Egypt. But, why has it translated to music, TV, and other pop culture but not movies? Mostly that the people who write the movies, are monkeys with typewriters. I firmly believe this is one of the biggest ball drops since The Oregon Trail stopped getting made.

I’m a 24-year-old guy sitting behind the computer I paid for — I realize that other than the occasional episode of Rocco’s Modern Life that I see, I really have gotten past the childhood I had. Occasionally I go back to the nostalgia of seeing my He-Man set, and Castle Greyskull, or the GI Joe hovercrafts. I have a few Lion-o minis in moving boxes, but that’s the extent. Why can’t we be happy with that? No, you just can’t, can you?

First, today news broke that Brandon Routh may stay Superman, but wouldn’t agree to JLA at the moment. Now on the denial bandwagon is Christian Bale. In talking to the boys and girls at IESB, he came out with a very flat and meaningful quote. After saying not only he wouldn’t do JLA, but he’s not even been approached about it.

Batman, Superman, Thundercats, JLA, now we’re talking the Flash. Apparently, IGN has an exclusive interview with Ryan Reynolds from the debut of the movie, The Nines in which he, in no uncertain terms, makes clear that he is definitely involved… somehow.

There seems to be a glut at the top of the Comic movies as of late, and it seems we’re on a crash course with another one? Why does this matter to me you ask? There is more money to be made, and production companies want their fingers in as much as they can. There has been talks of a Wonder Woman movie, Aquaman TV show, and everyone knows The Green Lantern.

Okay. We’ve all been virally addicted to The Dark Knight. I’ll even admit to thinking this movie will bring the freaking house down. Boy was I wrong, It’s not going to bring the house down. It’s going to implode a freaking building. Holy shit, I guess this town is getting an enema.

Now, I’ve sacrificed enough GI Joes in my microwave to know just who stands up well under pressure. And I also know GI Joe rumors have abounded as of late. Most circling around directors and lead actors. I for one can tell you most of the director rumors have fallen through. However, there is one rumor that has turned out to be true.

Strap your turbans on folks, there is a new Michael Meyers movie coming June 20th 2008. “The Love Guru,” an original character from Michael Meyers is the first since Austin Powers and looks to be hysterical. Also in it are Romany Malco, Jessica Alba, and Verne Troyer. Meyers plays Pitka, an orphaned child left in India and raised by gurus.

Your favorite red underwear having superhero is coming back in September 2009. News has recently been leaked about the movie by none other than the screenwriter, Michael Dougherty. He, in talking to some dude on the street, spilled some beans about the upcoming sequel, to a sequel.. to… damn how many of these movies are there? Anyways, Dougherty leaks that there is going to be two villains in the movie!

Amanda Bynes is out pimping her new movie on MySpace. “Sydney White” appears to be another movie where Amanda Bynes plays an awkward girl who’s innocent humor seems to make her the belle of the ball. Lets be real here, a now legal, Amanda Bynes gets hosed with a super soaker, and does jumping jacks in a tank top and short shorts. She also apparently takes residence in a house with seven dorks. Man, this might just be my fantasy in the making.

There has been a whole shit storm of bad movies and sequels this summer with a bunch of average stories with even weaker appeal. This movie was orchestrated by a man who defines summer blockbuster, and was delivered on the back of a FREAKING TRANSFORMING SEMI WHO NOW OWNS PART OF MY SOUL. 15 minutes into this movie, I wanted a sequel. I will revoke your man card if you don’t go see it once. No joke. I’ll Google map your house, come to your house, and revoke your privileges as a human. After this movie, you want to stand up, and clap like a southern baptist church.

After icing my butt cheeks for two days, I find that the entire spectacle of POTC: At World’s End really found a soft spot in my heart. With a solid plot, and exceptional action it works on many levels. The giant scenes, sets and characters make for an enjoyable and long viewing at the movies. The action and tongue cheek humor work as much now as they did in the first POTC. As with all the POTC franchise it wets your appetite for more and more, hopefully someday we’ll see Captain Jack Sparrow and the Black Pearl on the high seas again.

Sometimes when you see a trailer you come in expecting to feel a certain way about a movie. I, for one, love Jessica Biel as an actress. To me, the prospect of Julianne Moore and Jessica Biel could really set the scene for some intense moments. Nicholas Cage isn’t my favorite sometimes and that really made me feel almost ambivalent about the movie coming into it. I’m all for Sci-fi movies, and anything that potentially really can get into a genre and kind of tear into the ideas of the time and space make me giggle at heart. However, a basic lesson on quantum mechanics is what I didn’t want. This movie is all about Schrodingers cat, and the thought that you are everywhere and nowhere at once.

The premise of this movie is Cris Johnson was born with an ability like any other. Cris was born with the ability to see into his future. How far? Two minutes into his life, and only thing directly affecting his life. Except he’s found one exception. He has had one vision in his life of a female who comes into what appears as a waffle house. He has a time and where, but he doesn’t know when and it could be weeks in the future. He’s never seen this far and it could be directly related to his life somehow, but he knows he’s in love with her. Can this really make a good movie?

Have you ever heard a bunch of namby pamby critics trying to compare a movie to something and you just care if it’s good or not? This movie doesn’t make any illusions as to what it is. You see a poster with a WWE logo, and one of their biggest stars in recent history plastered all over it. The Marine with John Cena didn’t do so bad, but it got panned by those same namby skirt wearing critics for being low brow. Well buckle up you hippies. Get ready to burn this one down, but you can’t take away from it what it is. An unapologetic action movie made by lumberjack, hairy chest, real men, for real men. It has explosions, decent breast shots, and use of the worth “Motherfucker”, “Fuck you”, “Fuck Your Mother”, and a judicious use of the word “Cocksucker”. Juvenile? Maybe, but honestly it’s for men.

Recently everything except See No Evil have been decent movies for wrestlers. Lets call it what it is, action movies have been more about gore and shock factor than they have been what they’re supposed to be. I am a male, I want to see hot girls, explosions, death, and some really great one liners. We don’t get that vary often, and that’s the general problem with movies recently. Why can’t this be a good movie?

Okay, So we all love the movie badass? Chuck Norris, Vin Diesel, even Jack Bauer and James Bond. Yet, have you ever seen a movie that the badass is a big skirt wearing vagina? Yes. I know I know that there are some of you that will disagree with this list, fine you suck too. I’m just saying that if I had to fight a movie bad ass, I want a piece of someone on this list because I have a chance of me escaping alive. Most movie badasses really destroy everything in their wake. Most on this list, are on the ropes for most of a fight to save their battles in a final wind. No, no more of this hippie, crunchy granola having bitch-ness. I demand a brutality from my badasses that is unmatched and unwavering. So, I throw down the gauntlet right now. I bring you the “Top 10 Badasses that I’d fight,” or “Top 10 Movie Heroes that Were Vaginas.”

You won’t believe who made #1. Find out after the jump…

Sodium lithium boron silicate hydroxide. That was the mineral stolen by Lex Luthor in Superman Begins. A drill core of the unusual mineral was unearthed in Serbia by the mining group Rio Tinto PLC, which turned it over to mineral expert Chris Stanley at the Natural History Museum for analysis.

Over at Shock-till-you-drop, there has been some news finally leaked about the upcoming Saw movie. Saw IV seems to pick up a lot where Saw III left off. It appears that Angus McFadden will be back as will Shawnee Smith among others. At what point has a scary movie outworn it’s welcome? Look here and keep up to see if Saw IV is jumping the shark.

Jigsaw still haunts the living in “Saw IV,” forcing them to appreciate life, or face death. As a continuation of “Saw III,” Jeff must find his daughter and escape the building to which they are confined before they both die. After finding another tape of Jigsaw, Jeff realizes there may be a newly added piece of the puzzle that he must decipher before it’s too late.