Film School Rejects » Fat Guys at the Movies

Fat Guys at the Movies Ep. 100 – A Fat Guy Centennial

Fat Guys at the Movies — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 11:00:51 +0000

On This Week’s Show: Neil is still schmoozing in Park City for the Sundance Film Festival, so Kevin is holding down the fort with guest host David Medsker from Bullz-eye.com. It’s a lighter week for movies, so in the midst of talking about werewolves, vampires and Brendan Fraser reading (ha! like he reads!), Kevin and David discuss what might happen to sexy tattoos in 40 or 50 years, TV girlfriends and Rhona Mitra’s lumpy knees. And it’s the 100th episode of Fat Guys at the Movies, so you have that to be happy about!

Films Reviewed this Week: Underworld: Rise of the Lycans, Inkheart and Last Chance Harvey.

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Episode Schedule:

Segment 1 [8:50] – Review of Underworld: Rise of the Lycans

Segment 2 [10:40] – Review of Inkheart

Segment 3 [12:45] – Review of Underworld and Box Office Predictions

Segment 4 [6:35] – DVD Round-Up, Review Recap and a look ahead to next week.

Next Week’s Show:

We welcome Neil back to the Virtual Studio in the Sky to talk about his Sundance shenanigans, and possibly some Oscar comments. Plus reviews of New in Town, Taken and The Uninvited.

Show Links:

FSR’s Weekly Report Card for Inkheart, Last Chance Harvey and Revolutionary Road
David Medsker from Bullz-Eye.com

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Fat Guys at the Movies Ep. 99 – Notorious F.A.T. Guys (and a Girl)

Fat Guys at the Movies — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 08:11:37 +0000

On This Week’s Show: Neil is hobnobbing around Park City, Utah with his flunkies, hoping to score some make-out moments with John Stamos or Garry Shandling. So, Kevin is left in the Magical Studio in the Sky with special guest host Kristin Dreyer Kramer from NightsAndWeekends.com. Together they take a look at the infamous (and dare we say Notorious) January releases. They also vent about Megan Fox, Mickey Rourke and the Golden Globes while welcoming back another guest appearance by the Neil Miller Sock Puppet mascot. And Kristin is afraid that she is being stalked by a guy in a blaze-orange coat. Eeek!

Films Reviewed this Week: Hotel for Dogs, Paul Blart: Mall Cop, My Bloody Valentine 3D, Notorious and Defiance.

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Episode Schedule:

Segment 1 [8:50] – Review of Hotel for Dogs

Segment 2 [10:40] – Reviews of Paul Blart: Mall Cop, My Bloody Valentine 3D and Notorious

Segment 3 [12:45] – Review of Defiance, Box Office predictions and a reaction to the Golden Globes

Segment 4 [6:35] – DVD Round-Up, Review Recap and a look ahead to next week.

Next Week’s Show:

Neil will still be gallivanting around Park City at the Sundance Film Festival, so Kevin will welcome in another surprise guest host while making fun of Neil and not really reviewing much because the studios aren’t screening most of the releases… and you know what that means! Enjoy partial reviews of Inkheart, Underworld 3: Rise of the Lycans, Possession and Last Chance Harvey.

Show Links:

FSR’s Weekly Report Card for Hotel for Dogs, Paul Blart: Mall Cop, My Bloody Valentine 3D, Notorious and Defiance
Kristin Dreyer Kramer’s NightsAndWeekends.com

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Fat Guys at the Movies Ep. 98 – Get Your Unborn Fat Guys Off My Lawn!

Fat Guys at the Movies — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 15:14:40 +0000

On This Week’s Show: Neil is sick, but Kevin still makes him do the show in the Virtual Studio in the Sky. They had a week off for the holidays, so now the Fat Guys get ready for the January releases and recap what they thought was the best of 2008. Kevin is also stunned at the fact that porn star Katie Morgan has seen him naked on the Internet. The boys drool over Odette Yustman and complain about Tyler Perry wannabes and 4 1/2 award movies like Che. But most of all, they want you to get off their lawn!

Films Reviewed this Week: The Unborn, Not Easily Broken, Bride Wars and Gran Torino.

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Episode Schedule:

Segment 1 [8:50] – Review of The Unborn

Segment 2 [10:40] – Reviews of Bride Wars and Not Easily Broken

Segment 3 [12:45] – Review of Gran Torino, Box Office predictions and the Fat Guy Five (aka, Kevin and Neil’s picks for the best of 2008)

Segment 4 [6:35] – DVD Round-Up, Review Recap and a look ahead to next week.

Next Week’s Show:

Neil is off to snowy Park City for the Sundance Film Festival. Kevin will be staying in snowy Ohio with a special guest to talk about My Bloody Valentine 3D, Paul Blart: Mall Cop, Defiance, Hotel for Dogs and Notorious.

Show Links:

FSR’s Weekly Report Card for Bride Wars, Not Easily Broken, Gran Torino and The Reader

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Fat Guys at the Movies Ep. 97 – The Big, Fat Christmas Special!

Fat Guys at the Movies — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 22:00:51 +0000

On This Week’s Show: Kevin and Neil bring on the fruitcake with their big, fat Christmas special. They question the correlation between Nazis and Christmas with the release of Valkyrie and The Spirit. With the huge slate of releases this week, it’s a flurry of movie reviews before choosing their favorite DVD picks from the product sent to them by the studios to review. Just consider yourself lucky if you receive an unopened DVD from Neil this week.

Films Reviewed this Week: Valkyrie, Bedtime Stories, Marley and Me, The Spirit, Revolutionary Road and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.

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Episode Schedule:

Segment 1 [8:50] – Review of Valkyrie

Segment 2 [10:40] – Reviews of Bedtime Stories, Marley and Me and The Spirit

Segment 3 [12:45] – Review of Revolutionary Road and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and Box Office predictions

Segment 4 [6:35] – DVD Round-Up, Review Recap and a big fat Christmas kiss for all.

Next Week’s Show:

The Fat Guys take a break at to recover from New Year’s Eve hangovers. You’ll hear from them again in 2009 when the Fat Guys wrap up the last year of movies with their best and worst lists of 2008.

Show Links:

FSR’s Weekly Report Card for Valkyrie, Bedtime Stories, Marley and Me, The Spirit, Revolutionary Road and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

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The Ten Worst Christmas Movies of All-Time

Fat Guys at the Movies — Sun, 21 Dec 2008 17:00:21 +0000

Editor’s Note: In honor of the 2008 Christmas Holiday, we’ve decided to resurrect the following article — our Ten Worst Christmas Movies of All-Time list, which was written during Christmas 2007. Oddly enough, the following choices still hold up today.

Just as Hollywood launched us into the summer movie season with Spider-Man 3 in early May, they’ve jumped the gun on the Christmas season with Fred Claus. However, this wasn’t as heartwarming as the umpteen radio stations playing Christmas music before Thanksgiving, ‘cause Fred Claus really sucked ass.

So that got us thinking… What other Christmas movies suck ass? For every It’s a Wonderful Life, there’s gotta be a crapstorm of a film to balance it out. So we looked at the holiday movies over the years, and we came up with our list. To make the list, the film had to either be about Christmas (or Santa Claus) or have Christmas an integral part of the plot. (It can’t be like Gremlins, which did suck ass, but really was just set during Christmastime rather than being about the holiday.)

Flame on!

10. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)

With a title like this, it’s almost too easy. And while you most likely have seen this one during the good old Mystery-Science Theater 3000 days, you can still catch it on video and even aired by one of the Turner networks in December. It features a wino Santa and Martians so crappy they put Plan 9 from Outer Space to shame. Oh, and it’s got Pia Zadora in it, too!

9. The Nativity Story (2006)

We can just imagine the pitch meeting in Hollywood. Some lunkhead producer yelled, “The Passion of the Christ made more than $300 million! What else can we mine from the Bible?” So they cast the 15-year-old Keisha Castle-Hughes, who got herself pregnant for the film’s release (which really pissed off the Pope). Here’s a hint… she wasn’t carrying the baby Jesus.

8. Fred Claus (2007)

Vince Vaughn and Paul Giamatti were cobbled by the family-oriented bent of this film. It just goes to prove that Vince Vaughn just ain’t funny if you don’t let him swear (or if he is wearing a dress and killing people).

7. Miracle on 34th Street (1994)

Who the hell had the brilliant idea of remaking this indelible classic… again? The cast was lame, and the climactic courtroom scene was ruined with an unnecessary rewrite. In the 60th anniversary DVD of the original, Maureen O’Hara giggles at the fact that every remake of this film has bombed. You go, Mo!

6. The Santa Clause 2 (2002)

Yeah, we know this is a cash cow for Disney, but that doesn’t make it any good. The first film was okay, but this one was lame. Even worse, the moronic director did the entire DVD commentary as if he got permission to shoot in the North Pole with the real Santa and his elves. I guess he didn’t realize that second graders don’t listen to DVD commentaries.

5. Christmas with the Kranks (2004)

Hey look! Another Tim Allen movie has made the list! Written by legal novelist John Grisham, this awkward holiday comedy showed that even a bestselling author can inspire crap.

4. Deck the Halls (2006)

Why does Matthew Broderick keep getting cast in movies? He hasn’t done a live-action film worth a bucket of snot since Election. And how could Danny DeVito sign on for this stinker? He must have needed rent money. A war of holiday lights turns into wacky family comedy… so much so, you’ll want to throw up.

3. Black Christmas (2006)

After the Weinstein Company’s dismal release of Wolf Creek on Christmas Day 2005, they tried to repeat their mistake with a horror movie remake in 2006… and they were successful in failing. Maybe they should have had some of the young hotties in the cast (e.g., Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Lacey Chabert or Michelle Trachtenberg) do a gratuitous nude scene.

2. The Santa Clause 3 (2006)

It’s Tim Allen again, dishing out more holiday pain. But this time, he’s joined by the show-tune loving Martin Short as Jack Frost. Arguably a better premise than #2, the movie melts down in the end with the cheesiest ending since V: The Final Battle.

1. Surviving Christmas (2004)

Nothing says Christmas in October like James Gandolfini in a Santa hat. ‘Nuff said.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Jingle All the Way (1996) – We thought this would be a shoe-in, considering what a joke people remember it to be. But watch it with your kids, and you might agree it doesn’t even belong on this list.

The Preacher’s Wife (1996) – Okay, we admit it… neither Fat Guy actually has seen this film. We just figured that since it had Whitney Houston in it, it must suck ass.

For more lists, banter and random shenanigans, visit Fat Guys at the Movies.

Fat Guys at the Movies Ep. 96 – The Tale of Seven Hundred Pound Fat Men

Fat Guys at the Movies — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 06:17:47 +0000

On This Week’s Show: Kevin and Neil wind down through a massive month of movies, commenting on everything from characters’ heart conditions to tattooed strippers past their prime (but still fun to watch). Kevin laughs at Neil, who has offended one of their biggest fans… twice. They take some swipes at Will Smith, try to figure out the connection between big-eared mice and soup, and they welcome Jim Carrey back from the brink of The Number 23. Kevin bemoans the fact that he contributed a significant sum to the weekend box office of Delgo, and Neil defends his ambiguously gay DVD picks of the week.

Films Reviewed this Week: Seven Pounds, The Tale of Despereaux, Yes Man and The Wrestler.

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Episode Schedule:

Segment 1 [8:50] – Reviews of The Tale of Despereaux and Yes Man

Segment 2 [10:40] – Reviews of Seven Pounds and The Wrestler

Segment 3 [12:45] – Review of The Reader, Box Office and a voice mail from Dawn from California

Segment 4 [6:35] – DVD Round-Up, Review Recap and a look ahead to Valyrie, Bedtime Stories, The Spirit, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Revoutionary Road and Marley & Me next week.

Next Week’s Show:

Join us next on Christmas Eve for our Big Fat Holiday Special, featuring dogs, Nazis and campy superheroes.

Show Links:

FSR’s Weekly Report Card for Seven Pounds, The Tale of Despereaux, Yes Man and The Wrestler

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Fat Guys at the Movies Ep. 94 – Punisher: Fat Zone

Fat Guys at the Movies — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 06:00:49 +0000

On This Week’s Show: Kevin and Neil drive a Cadillac through the War Zone and take some shots at David Frost and Richard Nixon. They continue with their proselytizing for the cause of Fatguyenatics and the Church of Fatguyentology, in which they canonize their first patron saint. They also get ramped up for the winter television season with the Fat Guy Five: The five shows they’re looking forward to the most come January. Kevin offers up some love for the Spanish thriller TimeCrimes while Neil admits to not watching it.

Films Reviewed this Week: Punisher: War Zone, Cadillac Records, Frost/Nixon and TimeCrimes.

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Episode Schedule:

Segment 1 [8:50] – Review of Punisher: War Zone

Segment 2 [10:40] – Reviews of Cadillac Records and Frost/Nixon

Segment 3 [12:45] – More on Frost/Nixon, plus the Indie Spotlight (TimeCrimes) and Box Office

Segment 4 [15:00] – Fat Guy Five (most anticipated television shows in January) and the canonization of Peter Dinklage as the Patron Saint of Badassness (aka Lil’ God of War) in the Church of Fatguyentology

Segment 5 [6:35] – DVD Round-Up, Review Recap and a look ahead to The Day the Earth Stood Still, Nothing Like the Holidays, Wendy and Lucy and Delgo next week.

Next Week’s Show:

Join us next Friday when we will be exhausted from a week of early press screenings.

Show Links:

Read Neil’s review of Punisher: War Zone
Read Kevin’s review of Punisher: War Zone
Read Kevin’s review of Frost/Nixon
FSR’s Weekly Report Card for Punisher: War Zone, Frost/Nixon and TimeCrimes

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Fat Guys at the Movies Ep. 92 – Team Fat Guys

Fat Guys at the Movies — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 05:30:45 +0000

On This Week’s Show: Kevin and Neil swoon over the CGI Disney dog and show their fangs about a certain high school vampire. They also talk about their favorite vampire movies and run down their Fat Guy Five to discuss which fake movie-within-a-movie they’d like to see the most. Neil gives some love to the new Star Trek footage while Kevin proceeds to offend him with some smarmy suggestions about the forbidden love of Bella and Edward.

Films Reviewed this Week: Bolt, Twilight and Special.

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Episode Schedule:

Segment 1 [8:50] – Review of Bolt

Segment 2 [10:40] – Review of Twilight

Segment 3 [12:45] – Indie Spotlight (Special), Box Office, Star Trek footage review

Segment 4 [18:00] – Fat Guy Five (favorite fake movie trailers we’d love to see), offensive Twilight suggestions and some Star Trek love for Zoe Saldana

Segment 5 [6:35] – DVD Round-Up, Review Recap and a look ahead to Australia, Four Christmases and Transporter 3 next week.

Next Week’s Show:

Join us next Wednesday when we drop an early Thanksgiving show for the holiday movies.

Show Links:

Read Neil’s review of Twilight
Read Kevin’s review of Twilight
Read Kevin’s review of Bolt
FSR’s resident TwiGuy Cole Abaius discusses the Twilight novel
FSR’s Weekly Report Card for Bolt and Twilight

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Fat Guys at the Movies Ep. 91 – Quantum of Fatness (Special Guest: Bruce Campbell)

Fat Guys at the Movies — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 03:56:34 +0000

On This Week’s Show: Kevin and Neil take to secret agent mode as they emulate James Bond, and Kevin describes his Venus-like emergence from the sea in a Speedo. Since Quantum of Solace is the only new film this week, the Fat Guys spend some time reminiscing about other James Bond films. But they still make time to interview Bruce Campbell and review Charlie Kaufman’s new film, Synecdoche, New York.

Films Reviewed this Week: Quantum of Solace and Synecdoche, New York.

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Episode Schedule:

Segment 1 [8:50] – Review of Quantum of Solace

Segment 2 [10:40] – Fat Guys James Bond Retrospective (Favorite Bond girls, gadgets and leading men)

Segment 3 [12:45] – Indie Spotlight (Synechdoche, New York), Box Office, Fat Guy Five (Favorite Bond Movies)

Segment 4 [19:00] – Presidential Dogs and our interview with Bruce Campbell

Segment 5 [6:35] – DVD Round-Up, Review Recap and a look ahead to Twilight and Bolt next week.

Next Week’s Show:

Join us next Friday when we are joined by Film School Rejects Editor and resident Twilight expert Cole Abaius to discuss Twilight and Disney’s Bolt.

Show Links:

Neil’s review of Blindness
The 8 Movies to See in the Month of October
Netflix Wants to Test Your Movie Watching Endurance – Starring Crazy Legs Conti

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Film School Rejects » Fat Guys at the Movies

Fat Guys at the Movies Ep. 100 – A Fat Guy Centennial

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Fat Guys at the Movies Ep. 99 – Notorious F.A.T. Guys (and a Girl)

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Fat Guys at the Movies Ep. 98 – Get Your Unborn Fat Guys Off My Lawn!

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Fat Guys at the Movies Ep. 97 – The Big, Fat Christmas Special!

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The Ten Worst Christmas Movies of All-Time

10. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)

9. The Nativity Story (2006)

8. Fred Claus (2007)

7. Miracle on 34th Street (1994)

6. The Santa Clause 2 (2002)

5. Christmas with the Kranks (2004)

4. Deck the Halls (2006)

3. Black Christmas (2006)

2. The Santa Clause 3 (2006)

1. Surviving Christmas (2004)

HONORABLE MENTIONS

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Fat Guys at the Movies Ep. 96 – The Tale of Seven Hundred Pound Fat Men

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Fat Guys at the Movies Ep. 94 – Punisher: Fat Zone

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Give the Fat Guys some love:

Related Reading:

Fat Guys at the Movies Ep. 92 – Team Fat Guys

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Fat Guys at the Movies Ep. 91 – Quantum of Fatness (Special Guest: Bruce Campbell)

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