The inaugural TCM Classic Film Festival brought the cable channel to the silver screens of Hollywood Blvd. movie theaters for four days playing the likes of Grauman’s Chinese and the Egyptian. Much like the channel, the festival’s programming spanned the medium’s history, and as a bonus, many of the selections featured introductions and Q&A’s from participants, their relatives, and peers.

Living in Los Angeles, I am spoiled. There are quite a number of venues throughout the county to catch classic films, some of which include discussions with participants, so while I completely understand out-of-towners taking advantage of a 70mm screening of 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) or watching a comedy like The Producers (1968) and the silent Safety Last (1923) with a large audience, I more often than not chose rare films or ones I had never seen before.

Friday

Friday afternoon, writer/director Curtis Hansen introduced Nicholas Ray’s In a Lonely Place (1950), a movie that inspired him, as a “unique portrait of Hollywood.” He stated it was a film noir and there were elements of that genre, but I found this tale about a physically abusive relationship involving a screenwriter (Humphrey Bogart) with anger issues who is a suspect in a murder of a young woman more of a romantic melodrama.

Continuing the Hollywood theme was a brand new print of Richard Rush’s The Stunt Man (1980). This bizarre tale tells the story of Cameron (Steve Railsback), a Vietnam Veteran on the lam who hides out as a stuntman on the set of a WWI movie directed by Eli Cross (Peter O’Toole in an Academy Award-nominated performance). Rush talked beforehand about the film playing with illusion and reality, which it deals with as events happening to Cameron turn out to be events in Cross’ movie. However, I found The Stunt Man to be a chaotic mess. It was interesting to hear Rush, Railsback, and co-star Barbara Hershey knock studio executives for the poor handling of the film, but there’s no way it would have played well across the country.

My last screening of the day was No Orchids for Miss Blandish (1948) a post-WWII British film that tried to be an American gangster picture. Bruce Goldstein had a very good presentation that showed reaction at the time by religious and political leaders. It was alleged to have been a complete, uncensored version, but a scene told to the audience by Tim Roth where the barkeep gets his eye taken out wasn’t shown. It’s not a classic, but it was a fun time laughing with an audience at the below-average acting and odd story of a woman who falls for a gangster that saves her from kidnappers.

Saturday

Unbeknownst to me, Saturday would be bookended by Peter Bogdanovich introductions and I could have spent the whole day listening to him tell compelling stories. In the morning, before a brand new print of The Magnificent Ambersons (1942), a story about the downfall of a wealthy family, he told charming tales about his time with Orson Welles and discussed what is the “greatest damaged film” in his estimation. Forty-four minutes were cut and destroyed by RKO.

The day ended with a midnight showing of The Bride of Frankenstein (1935), which featured a new audio restoration. Bogdanovich had directed Boris Karloff in Targets (1968), one of his final films, and told bittersweet tales about what a professional he was in his latter days. I almost skipped it because I was tired after a long day of movie watching and I am so glad I didn’t because it turns out, even though there are multiple sequences I have seen many, many times over, I had never seen it in its entirety before. “Bride” is very good and can be used to support anyone arguing in favor of sequels. While thrills and chills are expected, there is a smart story and even moments of humor.

Back in the afternoon, Leave Her To Heaven (1946) is a color film noir starring Gene Tierney as a sociopathic woman who won’t let anything get between her and the man (Cornel Wilde) she loves. That includes his handicapped brother (Daryl Hickman) and her unborn child. She won’t even let death stop her obsession. The melodrama here is so over the top it was unintentionally laughable. Though there are problems, it was a pleasure to see Vincent Price do well in a non-horror related role. Film Foundation had restored the print, and a promotional clip of their mission preceded the film. Afterwards, TCM’s Robert Osborne interviewed Hickman.

Part of the theme throughout the weekend was a tribute to the three generations of Hustons: Walter, John, Angelica, and Danny. Angelica was represented with Woody Allen’s brilliant Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989). She was interviewed about herself and her family beforehand and was later joined by Martin Landau afterwards for a discussion about the film and working with Allen and each other. I was most intrigued by the different endings that were shot.

The Story of Temple Drake (1933) was a world premiere of a restoration in progress. Based on William Faulkner’s Sanctuary, the film was pulled from theaters because of its scandalous story. Naturally over 70 years later, it’s difficult to see what the issues were especially because the most shocking material from the book isn’t even hinted at. Miriam Hopkins delivers a very good performance and it’s too bad it’s been unavailable for so long.

More material pulled from public consumption was highlighted in “Out of Circulation Cartoons”. Film historian Donald Bogle gave an enlightening presentation about eight Warner Brothers cartoons understandably shelved in 1968 because of their racial insensitivity to African Americans. They were made over the years by legends in the animation business like Tex Avery, Bob Clampett, and Friz Freleng, better known for creating Merrie Melodies and Looney Tunes. Not all the material was offensive. The caricatures of Fats Waller and Cab Calloway seemed similar to other celebrities of the time, but there was an unfortunate and ugly pervasiveness in stereotypes from old, servile Uncle Toms and lazy coons resembling Stepin Fetchit to sexualized light-skinned woman and dark-skinned mammies. There was some good humor but also a lot of stale jokes due to an over reliance on things like shooting dice.

Alongside introductions by Eli Wallach for The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly (1966) and centenarian Luise Rainer for The Good Earth (1937) as well as The Alloy Orchestra accompanying Metropolis (1927) to close out the event, Sunday found a third of the screenings repeating films from earlier in the festival, which was no doubt welcomed by those who may have missed the cut.

Even before the second TCM Classic Film Festival was announced for Spring 2011, the event was a success for me, so it’s fantastic to learn more people will have the opportunity to take part in this celebration of film history.

With its vast and ever-evolving film library the cable channel Turner Classic Movies is a cinephile’s dream and serves as a benchmark to other movie channels. Since its debut in 1994, TCM has offered a wide array of movies covering the medium’s history, from silent pictures to foreign films, all uncut and commercial free. This spring the brand will be venturing out with the inaugural TCM Classic Film Festival, scheduled for April 22-25 in Hollywood, CA.

Previously announced events were already very impressive. The Opening Night Red Carpet Gala is to feature a newly restored version of George Cukor’s A Star Is Born. Fritz Lang’s Metropolis is also newly restored and will be accompanied by Alloy Orchestra performing an original score. Roger Ebert calls them “the best in the world at accompanying silent films.” Continuing the science fiction theme, visual effects artist Douglas Trumbull presents Stanley Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey. Long overdue, Mel Brooks will finally be awarded a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. He will also introduce The Producers.

The TCM Classic Film Festival has just added a number of intriguing events to the schedule:

Recent centenarian Luise Rainer will introduce The Good Earth. She won her second of two Oscars in this adaptation of Pearl S. Buck’s novel. Cinematographer Karl Freund won an Oscar for his work as well.

Two other actors will be on hand to present what are arguably their best film performances. Jerry Lewis will introduce a new print of Martin Scorsese’s The King of Comedy and Tony Curtis will do the honors for Billy Wilder’s Some Like It Hot.

Family members step into the spotlight to honor their ancestors. Joan Crawford’s grandson, Casey LaLonde, introduces A Woman’s Face and Harold Lloyd’s granddaughter, Suzanne Lloyd Hayes, does double duty on An Eastern Westerner and Safety Last. Both Lloyd films feature music composed and conducted by Robert Israel.

Attention will be drawn to the restoration work of the Museum of Modern Art and their partners with premieres of the musical Sunnyside Up with Janet Gaynor and Charles Farrell and Raoul Walsh’s Western The Big Trail starring John Wayne in his first lead role. Also planned is a screening of the work-in-progress on The Story of Temple Drake. Based on William Faulkner’s controversial Sanctuary, this Pre-Code film inspired the Roman Catholic Church to create the Legion of Decency.

The festival offers a number of films about Hollywood. Currently scheduled are Wilder’s Sunset Blvd., Nicholas Ray’s In a Lonely Place, Stanley Donen and Gene Kelly’s Singin’ in the Rain, and Vincente Minnelli’s The Bad and the Beautiful. Just added is The Stunt Man with director Richard Rush on hand.

For animation aficionados there is “Removed from Circulation: A Cartoon Collection” featuring shorts with negative racial or cultural stereotypes. The event is hosted by Donald Bogle, author of Bright Boulevards, Bold Dreams: A History of Black Hollywood, who will discuss the attitudes of the times. Titles include “Clean Pastures”, “Coal Black and De Sebben Dwarves”, “Goldilocks and the Jivin’ Bears”, “Hittin’ the Trail for Hallelujah Land”, “The Isle of Pingo Pongo”, “Sunday Go to Meetin’ Time”, “Tin Pan Alley Cats”, and “Uncle Tom’s Bungalow”. Of a less awkward nature, The Adventures of Robin Hood will be paired with Bugs Bunny’s “Rabbit Hood”.

Festival passes and additional information are available at the Turner Classic Movies website.

10. The Departed (2006)

I enjoyed this film when I saw it in the theatre, but it completely falls apart on repeat viewings. It has a lot going for it in terms of story and acting, yet those are the same areas where it fails. We are supposed to believe that Costello, “the” major crime figure in Boston, couldn’t figure out the new guy Costigan was the rat. It’s rather obvious, and yet Costello even explained that in the old days he would just wipe everyone out. Awfully convenient that he doesn’t do that now. As is unfortunately typical of many of his recent performances, Nicholson slips out of character and occasionally gives us “Jack,” such as the scene in the bar where he talks about having a rat in the organization and the scene in the porno theatre. They completely disrupt the movie. Don’t get me started on the CGI rat running through the final shot.

While there are many other Best Pictures winners that are admittedly worse movies, The Departed secured a spot in this top 10 because the film did not win on its merits (The Queen was a much better film), but was instead given as a Lifetime Achievement Award to Scorsese. Through envy or ignorance the Academy members have missed honoring a number of great filmmakers (Hawks, Hitchcock, Kubrick) through the years. Scorsese used to be on that proud list as his seminal works (Taxi Driver, Raging Bull, Goodfellas) were bypassed. The Academy even had a chance to honor him for The Aviator, which was technically fantastic, but that year they decided to stick it to conservatives, since Bush was re-elected, by selecting Million Dollar Baby, a good film but there was no comparison. If the Best Picture of the Year is going to be determined, it should be based on the film in question not be used by the Academy to save face with history. It won four awards.

9. Cimarron (1931)

The film tells the story about the expansion of America in the late 19th Century, particularly around the Oklahoma Land Rush. What certainly is a period full of great potential in American history is completely sabotaged by lead actor Richard Dix’s overacting, no doubt left over from silent films, the racist attitudes towards non-whites, and a terrible script. Some of the action scenes are impressive in their execution, but those aren’t enough to make up for this odd, rambling film. It won three awards.

8. Around the World in 80 Days (1956)

Producer Michael Todd took Jules Verne’s compelling adventure story and turned it into a boring travelogue. Having to compete with television many movies during the 1950s used the medium to its full advantage by telling massive stories that could only be fully appreciated in a movie theater. Shot in 70mm Todd-AO, the film has a lot of location footage from different parts of the world that at the time must surely have been impressive, but viewers today have seen all these locations through the myriad of cable channels, so there’s no longer any novelty. It is also filled with over 40 cameos, so it’s likely that everyone who voted for this had a friend in it. It won five awards.

7. Cavalcade (1933)

While the British have made some fantastic films over the years, it must be some secret cruel joke that their Best Picture winners rarely hold up over time. Mrs. Miniver may have been inspiring upon its release, but it comes off as a hokey WWII propaganda piece. Tom Jones is basically an extended Benny Hill episode and says more about what a terrible year 1963 must have been. Other than Vangelis’ score, was there anything memorable from Chariots of Fire, other than the SCTV sketch with Hall & Oates?

However, the worst of the British imports is Calvalcade. Based on a Noel Coward play, it is a boring melodrama about two families as they experience major events through the turn of the 20th Century: the Second Boer War, the death of Queen Victoria, the Titanic, and the WWI. A documentary on the History Channel would be more entertaining. Yet, it won three awards.

6. A Beautiful Mind (2001)

A terrible film written by Akiva Goldsman, a man who has written many terrible scripts. How a writer could get so many facts wrong about John Nash’s life when he has access to them in the book he’s adapting speaks to his abilities.

Nash didn’t have visual hallucinations, but the medium is visual and the filmmakers were limited in their imagination. What we do get for hallucinations is surprisingly rational and coherent, which is another crutch filmmakers use since there shouldn’t be a logic that the entire audience can understand.

Many other notable facts were omitted or altered from Nash’s life, but the worst has to be the casting of Jennifer Connelly, who won an Oscar for her performance, as Nash’s wife who is from El Salvador. Are we supposed to believe that in 2000 there were no Latina actresses available? The film only won Best Picture because Ron Howard and Brian Grazer are such nice guys in the industry. It won four awards.

4. & 5. An American in Paris (1951) & Gigi (1958)

What the heck was there about Leslie Caron in Paris, France that made Academy voters swoon during the 1950’s because both these movies are stinkers? These MGM musicals are hard to take as we are forced to believe that someone could fall in love with the annoying Caron. Her suitors are Gene Kelly, a struggling American painter, and Louis Jordan, a rich Parisian, both completely uninteresting characters, so there’s no interest in seeing anyone get together.

An American in Paris has many great Gershwin tunes in it, but it goes completely off the rails with the 18-minute ballet that concludes the film. Gigi is by Lerner and Lowe, who have two very good songs in the film, “Thank Heaven for Little Girls” and “I Remember It Well,” but they were unfortunately prophetic with “It’s a Bore.” An American in Paris won six awards and Gigi won nine out of nine awards.

3. Broadway Melody (1929)

Unfortunately the years have not treated this backstage Broadway drama well as two sisters try to make it on the Great White Way. This film suffers like many of the time do from an overabundance of melodramatic storytelling and acting. It has some historical significance being the second Best Picture winner and the first to have sound, as well as its early use of Technicolor in a sequence, but leave this to the hardcore film historians. The film won one award.

2. Driving Miss Daisy (1989)

The fact that this snoozefest beat out Born on the Fourth of July, Dead Poet’s Society, and Field of Dreams in the category is astounding. This film thinks its insightful by letting us know racism was bad and blacks weren’t treated well in the South, as if no one had been aware of that before 1989.

We are supposed to feel empathy towards Miss Daisy, an old southern Jewish widow, becomes enlightened over the years to the plight of African Americans, but considering the story opens in 1948 when she is 72 and six million fellow Jews have recently been slaughtered in WWII because they were different, it is nearly impossible to care about this ignorant woman.

Rather than voters feeling good about themselves because they selected a film that shows the ills of racism, why couldn’t they have gone a step further and nominated the much more worthy Spike Lee’s Do the Right Thing?

1. Ordinary People (1980)

The movie is tolerable with its navel-gazing story about an upper middle class family falling apart due to the death of a son. What earns the film its ignominy as the worst choice by the Academy is that it and its director Robert Redford beat out Martin Scorsese and his masterpiece Raging Bull, which has since gone on to not only be dubbed the best film of the 1980s by many critical groups, but in the 2002 Sight and Sound Director’s Poll was voted the sixth greatest film of all time because of the excellence it achieved in all categories of filmmaking.

The Academy made a similar error awarding Kevin Costner’s Dances with Wolves over Scorsese’s Goodfellas, but Dances is a more impressive achievement compared to Ordinary People, which barely raises above the level of Lifetime movie.

Regardless of the number of Best Picture wins, deservedly or not, Scorsese earns moving forward (See #10), it will never erase the epic mistake Academy members made overlooking Raging Bull.

Of the 79 Best Pictures named, some films have stood the test of time and remain classics while others are have become duds that leave the viewer scratching their head, wondering what the voters of the time saw. While it’s completely unfair to compare the spectacle of Ben-Hur alongside the intimacy of Marty, this hasn’t stopped the Academy from their annual apples-to-oranges competition.

With this list, I chose to attempt to showcase the breadth of the honorees. Having the list reduced to ten means a great many titles are left out.

10. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

The Best Picture award for Peter Jackson’s final chapter in the Lord of the Rings trilogy was really an award to recognize the work done on all three films since it was in essence one giant project. It is one of four films to sweep the categories it was nominated in, going 11 for 11, tying the record of wins held by Ben-Hur and Titanic.

9. All About Eve

Joseph L. Mankiewicz’ film of deceit and betrayal is still compelling as the world of celebrity and show business forever continues to fascinate and draw people to take part. Eve pretends to be a fan, but she’s really come to take the life of Margo Channing in a figurative sense. Hard to believe Bette Davis came in to replace Claudette Colbert shortly before filming because it’s one of her greatest roles. The film won six awards.

8. Midnight Cowboy

Even more so than Billy Wilder’s The Lost Weekend, Midnight Cowboy displays a stark, gritty realism rarely seen in Hollywood films even today. Joe Buck has come to New York City to ply his trade as a male prostitute, but has a tough go of it. Ratso Rizzo is a crippled con man who lives on the streets. Together, they maneuver through the mean streets as best they can. The film won three awards and it is the only X-rated film to ever receive an Oscar.

7. Unforgiven

Clint Eastwood’s film reveals the reality behind the accepted myths of the Western genre. The heroes and villains aren’t clear-cut, violence has ramifications, and alcohol not bravery or nobility fuels the fighting. The film won four awards and is the last Western to win Best Picture.

6. West Side Story

Stephen Sondhiem and Leonard Bernstein’s take on Romeo & Juliet transports the story to the streets of New York with the warring families replaced by street gangs. There’s a purpose to Jerome Robbins’ choreography beyond dancing for its own sake. The film won 10 awards and in addition Robbins was presented an honorary award for Brilliant Achievements in the Art of Choreography on Film.

5. Annie Hall

The film is the perfect synthesis of Woody Allen as it retains his sense of humor like the early, funny ones, but he stretches out as both a writer and director, using the medium like he never had before. While the events as presented in a fantastic manner, it is a realistic love story. The film won four awards.

4. One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest

Based on the brilliant novel by Ken Kesey, who initially wasn’t happy with the loss of the narrator or the casting of Jack Nicholson, the film tells the story of McMurphy, who fakes insanity so he can serve out the rest of his prison term in the perceived comfort of a mental institution. There’s a surprising amount of humor for a film that plays out like a classic tragedy. The film won five awards.

3. The Godfather

Marlon Brando leads the Corleone family and an amazing cast in Francis Ford Coppola;s adaptation of Mario Puzo’s novel. The film spans ten years and presents the transformation of Michael from civilian to Don. While some understandably find Part II to be a superior film, it needed The Godfather to lay the foundation. The film won three awards.

2. Lawrence of Arabia

David Lean’s glorious epic based loosely on the life of T.E. Lawrence and his time in Arabia during World War I. Freddie Young’s amazing Super Panavision 70 cinematography and Peter O’Toole’s star-making performance are the standouts in this film whose story of war in the Middle East unfortunately still resonates today. The film won seven awards.

1. Casablanca

Voted the best screenplay of all time by the Writers Guild of America, west in 2006, this classic film tells the tale of Rick and Ilsa, whose relationship was interrupted when she discovered her husband Victor was still alive. Their love triangle plays out in Morocco as Victor and Ilsa are on the run from the Nazis and need the letters of transit Rick has obtained. It’s a flawless film about love and sacrifice. The film won three awards.

With the slasher-film Black Christmas and the raunchy teen-sex comedy Porky’s on his resume, director Bob Clark would seem an unlikely candidate to have created a beloved family film, but his source material was Jean Shepherd’s, the film’s narrator, brilliant writings about growing up in Indiana from In God We Trust, All Others Pay Cash and Wanda Hickey’s Night of Golden Memories. The two men worked together on the script for ten years and the hard work is evident as the language is sheer poetry.

In the fall of 1983, A Christmas Story came and went quickly. It began to get airplay in the late ’80s/early ’90s on cable. Then in 1997, the film made the transition from cult hit to mainstream holiday classic as TNT began airing a 24-hour marathon starting on Xmas Eve, a tradition that continues this year.

I used to have a videotape of it and would watch it with the fellas during my Xmas Eve parties. It seemed like a film only our circle knew about. Even though TNT had already been running the marathon, I never fully understood its widespread appeal until a 20th Anniversary screening of the film in 2003.

Held at the Edward Big Newport Theatre with Clark and the main cast sans Melinda Dillon scheduled to attend, the event was a benefit for the Marine Corps Toys For Tots campaign, so admittance cost one new toy. People began lining up four hours before the doors opened and even though the theatre held 1,100, over 1,500 showed up. A later screening was set to quell the angry latecomers.

This appeared to be the first event of its kind for A Christmas Story because the place was a madhouse. Fans looking for autographs mobbed the actors at nearly every turn. The actors appeared surprised to find themselves the focus of Beatlemania-level adoration, yet all were very gracious.

The most poignant moment of the evening was the introduction of Darin McGavin, who played Ralphie’s father, known as The Old Man. He sat in the last row of the theatre. He was still recovering from a recent stroke and appeared weak and frail. His handlers understandably kept autograph hounds and picture-takers at a distance. During the opening Q&A, McGavin was introduced and received a standing ovation. Buoyed by the audience, he straightened in his seat, pulled himself up, and acknowledged the outpouring of affection. There was hardly a dry eye in the house.

As the familiar scenes of Ralphie’s pursuit of the Red Ryder 200-shot Carbine Action Air Rifle despite the grown-ups’ protestation that he’ll shoot his eye out, of Flick getting his tongue stuck to the flagpole after being triple-dog dared, of The Old Man winning a major award (the leg lamp) due to his brain power played out on the screen, it was amazing that watching and laughing at A Christmas Story with 1,500 new friends made the film even better.

Clark had lobbied the studio to re-release A Christmas Story for years, but the small-minded executives didn’t agree. If they had been there that evening, they would have seen Clark had been correct about the potential. Hopefully, Clark’s dream will come true as Ralphie’s did and the film will return to the big screen.

Evan Almighty is a change in tone for the series. Bruce was a romantic comedy. Evan is a children’s movie, which may explain why the writers felt they could get away with such a dumb script. Setting aside serious theological contradictions of the plot, there are a lot of things not dealt with because the writers didn’t care or weren’t smart enough to figure them out. For example, Evan didn’t bother to point out to his detractors his beard appearing full after shaving it or the wild animals, including polar bears, coming to his home.

The movie is mildly amusing at best and most suited to young children who like animals. Carell tries hard with the material, but can barely squeak out laughs. The movie’s one saving grace for adults is Wanda Sykes, who has all the funniest lines. If they consider making another one, and considering it is currently the most expensive comedy ever made, that’s not likely, it should be Rita Almighty starring Sykes or nothing.

The HD DVD release, which offers the standard DVD on the flipside, comes with U Control, a function that changes the entire experience. No longer a movie to watch or a story to follow, but a multimedia presentation to immerse yourself in as three features can be set to happen or notify the viewer when they are available. “Picture In Picture” shows interviews and behind-the-scenes footage that correspond with what’s playing on screen.

U Control also offers two different forms of pop-ups. “Ark Building For Dummies,” also the title of the book God gives to Evan, presents instructions on how to build an ark. When “Get On Board” is engaged, animals appear at the bottom of the screen offering trivia about ecology and tips about improving the environment.

Additional features include deleted scenes and outtakes, a number of behind-the-scenes segments on different aspects of production, and a game.

The HD version of movie is presented in 1080P High Definition Widescreen 2.35:1. The colors are vibrant and crisp, although the CGI work with the animals is too obvious at times. The Standard is in Anamorphic Widescreen 2.35:1.

The HD version audio is available in Dolby Digital Plus 5.1 in English and French. This isn’t really a movie where there’s a great deal of unusual sound design other than the occasional animal in surround. This won’t be the movie you use to show off your system to your friends.

While I can’t recommend owning it, Evan Almighty is a passable “family film night” rental.

Grade: C

Release Date: October 9, 2007 Rated: PG Running Time: 96 minutes Cast: Steve Carell, Wanda Sykes, Morgan Freeman, Lauren Graham Director: Tom Shadyac Studio: Universal Studios Buy: Amazon.com

I admit I’m a fan of the horribly kitschy B horror movies out there. None of them are really scary, but they’re all hilarious in their own way. Each October there are two movies I have to see. The first is Attack of the Killer Tomatoes. It is about what you would imagine. Some mutated giant tomatoes are killer and some scientists do their best to fight back and save the world. The film is pretty much lacking in every aspect: special effects, acting, even the plot is lame. But Killer
Tomatoes certainly embraces the “so bad it’s good” mentality of so many cult horror films. And with a name like Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, it’s pretty much guaranteed to be a cult classic.

Killer Klowns From Outer Space

The other freaky film that makes the cut each year is Killer Klowns From Outer Space. I already find clowns to be pretty damn scary, they’re always happy and in your face and it’s just not natural. Killer Klowns certainly delivers exactly what you want. Hell, one clown eats people with his shadow puppets. and you have to admit it doesn’t get much better than that. The movie has some slightly scary elements thrown in so it isn’t all kitsch, but it is still funny and memorable.

Night of the Living Dead

It begins and ends with George Romero’s Night of the Living Dead. Produced in 1968 on a shoestring budget ($114,000), with no-name actors, and yet still manages to rise above all obstacles and create a subtly brilliant film. The pace is suspenseful, the acting superb, and the direction allows for continued edge of the seat terror as the audience is pulled into the situation due to the simplicity and intensity. This film established the zombie genre, and has lead to numerous sequels, remakes, and similarly themed films.

In a simple story we find seven people boarded up in a farmhouse attempting to defend themselves against flesh eating zombies. In what has become a staple in horror movies, our characters include both a protagonist and antagonist, and the dynamic of our group dealing with the situation is as intense as the situation. The beauty comes in the ending. No Hollywood sellout here. A list of scary movies must include this classic genre-establishing zombie fest.

1408

Mikael Hafstrom’s 1408 gets to take a seat of honor next to The Shining as the second of two truly great haunted hotel movies to spark from the mind of Stephen King. John Cusack plays Mike Enslin, the author of two books of haunted hotel reviews. Having separated from his wife after the untimely death of their daughter, Enslin would like nothing more than to believe in the afterlife; unfortunately, he’s never seen any proof. That all changes when he spends the night in room 1408 at New York City’s Dolphin Hotel.

Room 1408 is spectacularly haunted. The screenwriters and director refuse to cut the audience apart with cheap thrills. Even when they have something jump out of the shadows, you feel like those moments were earned because of the more subtle terrors filling the screen for most of the movie. The horror starts slow and then builds and builds. Every possibility is loaded into that room, from ghosts and gruesome murders to fire and ice. This is one roller coaster that is ninety percent slow movement up a long hill, ripe with tension and fear, and ten percent gut-wrenching drop. It’s all about timing and special effects, and the editors and artists work some great magic.

1408 does exactly what it sets out to do, send shivers down your spine with an intelligent story. I’m not sure it could have worked without John Cusack in the lead; he is the perfect everyman. That aside, 1408 is a smart psychological drama with some great bumps in the dark.

Don’t Be Afraid Of The Dark

As a TV-junkie child of the Seventies, I didn’t have VHS, DVD or the Internet to keep up on horror films. In fact, my parents weren’t taking me to see the likes of The Exorcist or Rosemary’s Baby in the theaters (I’d have to wait until we had a VHS player to catch up with those!). My exposure was through the TV. In the pre-cable days, that was mainly through made-for-TV movies. In their heyday these pieces were as quality as most anything showing in theaters (e.g. Spielberg’s Duel).

For a scary film, I first thought of Bad Ronald (1974) with Ronald left in a sealed off room in the house for an accidental killing and a new family moves in the house. My second thought was the similarly creepy Crawlspace (1972). But the scariest film of my early TV days was hands down, Don’t Be Afraid Of The Dark (1973) from the Crawlspace director. This terrifying film aired for years almost every October. I first saw it at my grandparent’s house on a Friday night and it was nightmare inducing. Although it predates these movies, it’s equal parts Amityville Horror, Gremlins, and Omen.

In short, a couple inherits an old mansion but when they open a boarded-up fireplace, a bevy of horrible demon creatures are released. The gremlins are afraid of the dark. The two greatest things about this movie . . . the little voices of the creatures that we hear long before we ever see them, chanting “Sally, Sally. Free, free . . . she set us free.” and the fact that only Sally sees them attack and no one believes her. This leads to some very tense scenes as Sally loses her sanity throughout the picture culminating in a final scene with a drugged Sally, a terrible storm, a power outage and a husband racing to get home.

The fact that this movie only aired occasionally and couldn’t be found on video only made its legend grow in my mind. To this day, I can put myself back in my grandparent’s living room turning off the TV during commercials, and then relenting and turning it back on to see the end. Frightening.

The Descent

It’s too new to be considered a classic or even in the upper echelon of horror greats, but The Descent (2005) is a recent flick that scared the pants off of me. Here’s the thing, a story about a group of women who get lost in some unexplored caves while on a spelunking expedition is terrifying on its own. It’s dimly lit, with most of the light being given off by flashlights and glowsticks, and it’s “totally” claustrophobic. That alone would have me on the edge of my seat, but they had to take it a step further and add monsters. Not just any old run-of-the-mill monsters, but freaky, pseudo-science, evolution-gone-wrong, sonar-using, Gollum-looking creatures. GAAAHH!!! It’s the type of movie that demands to be watched with all the lights in the house turned off, viewed between your fingers or out of the corner of your eye, because you’re just too scared to stare at the screen. Just make sure you get the unrated version with the original ending intact.

The Thing (1982)

For those who like to have their cake and eat it too, John Carpenter’s The Thing (1982) is the perfect mix of horror and science fiction. Carpenter is at the top of his game with this story of a group of scientists stranded at a remote Antarctic research base, being hunted by a shape-shifting alien. It’s suspenseful as hell, because neither you nor the characters know who the killer is. It’s also gory as all-get-out, with some of the most awesomely disgusting special effects I’ve ever seen. Throw in a soundtrack by the legendary Ennio Morricone, and Kurt Russell sporting the sweetest beard this side of Jeff Bridges in the ’70s King Kong remake, and you’ve got yourself a modern classic!

The Haunting (1963)

This movie knows what so many imbecilic horror filmmakers of today can’t seem to understand, that the scariest things imaginable are the unseen. Sound is used magnificently in the film, much like in an old radio show, where aural clues allow the audience’s own imaginations to craft their own visions of the terrors hounding the film’s characters. The wonderful result of this is that it grabs the viewers and pulls them right into the haunted house alongside the characters they’re watching. If you’ve ever been scared by a sound in the night that you weren’t exactly sure what it was, 1963′s The Haunting is sure to chill you. Some houses may be “born bad” but it takes a lot of restraint and skill to make a movie this good.

Slither

Slither is your classic drive-in monster movie about a parasite from outer space, bent on taking over whatever planet it lands on next. In this case, a jelly-like, slithering, space vagina, born from a meteor that has recently crash landed in the woods of a small farming town, Anywhere, USA, where the recent start of deer-hunting season, appears to be all that is on anybody’s mind.

Slither is gross, suspenseful, and at times genuinely scary. It hails back to a time in horror movies that we haven’t seen in quite some time. A time where a lot of directors are now claiming to go, but usually fall short. Drive-in, grindhouse, splatter, 42nd street, whatever you want to call it, Slither beckons back to the good old days when nothing was taboo. When kids (yes kids) were just as prone to an on-screen demise, as their grown-up counterparts (usually a telltale sign that the studio system was in no way involved).

They just do not make them like this anymore, my friends. This is what they mean by a ‘B’ movie. Most people confuse ‘B’ movies with really shitty attempts at ‘A’ movies. Not this one. It was a ‘B’ movie from its inception. No stars, nobody big backing it, no budget but surprisingly well made, and Rated R, it is a CAPITAL B+++ (A), a fucking riot!

Henry, Portrait of a Serial Killer

While I enjoy the obvious classics like the Universal Monsters, I am not a big horror fan. To me, being frightened or scared is not entertaining. Even more so with today’s films that are filled with tricks like loud noises and editing to startle or gore that is supposed to gross me out. I find real life much for scary, which is why I was awed by Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer. The character was so believable, a regular guy who could be any person you walk by or live near, except for key moments. And the depiction of the murders is simply brilliant. On screen, the audience sees the aftermath while the soundtrack plays the event as it took place, so it’s all in your imagination where all great horror a rises from. It was a sunny Saturday afternoon as I walked back to my car with two friends and I was scared the whole time.

Editor’s Note: This list was compilled by our own El Bicho and his friends, The Masked Movie Snobs. Check them out!

Eleven of the greatest American films will be screened concurrently at 7pm, each being introduced by a star from the film or its director.

The evening’s program features:

Event Details:

Location:
ArcLight Hollywood
6360 W. Sunset Boulevard
Los Angeles, CA 90028

Time:
All film programs will begin at 7:00pm. Doors open to ticketed guests at 5:30pm.

Arrive Early!

The first 100 guests in each auditorium will receive a commemorative AFI 40th Anniversary Tribute Book.

Price:
Tickets are $25 per person and include popcorn and soda. Tickets can be purchased online through www.afi.com or in person at the box office starting September 19.

What rules the universe: order or chaos? Is there a plan set forth by a supreme being or are we all making it up as we go? How do your answers affect the way you live your life? Are you bound by the rules agreed to by society or do you instead choose to do what’s best for you? And does that change when life treats you unfairly? Director James Mangold deals with thought-provoking ideas in this update of the 1957 western based on Elmore Leonard’s short story.

Dan Evans (Christian Bale) is a former Civil War soldier struggling to make a life for his family. He bought a ranch in Bisbee, AZ with the money he received after being badly wounded in the leg, but his cows are dying due to a drought. He has to choose buying medicine for his youngest son over paying the mortgage. That decision further proves to the property owner the land is worth more selling it to the railroad. The situation is grim and the doubt felt by his wife and oldest son, Will, weigh heavy on Evans’ shoulders.

Ben Wade (Russell Crowe) stands in sharp contrast to Evans as a man appearing in control of his fate rather than beaten down by it. He is a well-known outlaw responsible for many robberies and deaths. Yet, he is an appealing figure to some, including Will, who reads dime stores novels that tell Wild West tales similar to ones Wade has lived, because he is smart, resourceful, and charismatic.

After the latest of many heists of the Southern Pacific Railroad’s payroll, Wade and his men celebrate in Bisbee. The gang takes off, leaving Wade behind to enjoy some female companionship for the night. With his confidence high and his guard down, the local sheriff captures Wade the next morning. He needs to be escorted to the town of Contention, three days away on horseback, so he can be put on the 3:10 train to Yuma where he will be tried and put in federal prison. The railroad offers a reward to any who help transport Wade, enough in wages to save Evans’ farm. The money is so high because Wade’s men will kill to get him back. Evans decides to take the risk because it’s the only way to save his farm.

As they head towards Contention, Wade gets away only to be caught by men who act no different than he does. When Evans and the others catch up, they find Wade tied up and being electrocuted, receiving a punishment many feel he deserves: vengeance, Old Testament style. However, Evans and the others see this lawlessness no different than Wade’s and demand he is turned over.

In Contention, Wade’s men catch up. Not even the railroad man is willing to risk his life against the overwhelming odds. Similar to High Noon, Evans becomes the lone man to stand against the bad guys and is determined to bring Wade to justice. Wade tempts Evans with five times the amount of money the railroad offered and safe passage. Besides, he’s already escaped from Yuma before. Whose will and determination will win out?

The story of both men slowly unravels and is smartly revealed by the writers throughout the film. The two characters grow to respect each other as they and the audience learn more about what drove the choices they made and who they really are. They aren’t simply good guy and bad guy as they first appeared and could have ended in each other’s places if different decisions had been made.

Both men know The Bible. Wade quotes it, but has rejected the path suggested. Evans struggles with it, but ultimately believes. He is Christ-like and the film is filled with religious imagery throughout. That’s not to say the film proselytizes Christianity, but like many great stories, such as Cool Hand Luke and One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest, it uses the metaphor of the Christ myth to speak about the human condition. Wade takes the role of Lucifer with his “Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven” attitude, but he comes across like an avenging angel at times. Notice the people who receive punishment at his hands.

3:10 to Yuma (2007) tells a marvelous story that can be taken solely as a straightforward adventure film while also offering themes to explore and contemplate. The acting performances by all, especially the leads, are great to watch. Bale and Crowe are two of the best actors working today and they compliment each other well. All the crew departments excel in their roles, creating authenticity in all the scenes. It is the best film so far this year and deserves to be honored as such.

Over the 12 years, Woody goes through a metamorphosis. Originally, he started out as an antagonistic wise guy, borderline lunatic, reminiscent of the early appearances of Warner Brothers’ Daffy Duck. This is no coincidence as two of the same men worked on both birds. The legendary voice actor Mel Blanc voiced Woody on his first four shorts; however, Woody’s iconic laugh, which Blanc had used previously for Happy Rabbit, a precursor to Bugs Bunny, was re-used for many years afterwards until Blanc sued. Storyboard artist Ben Hardaway was also at Warner Brothers in the late ’30s. Not only had he worked on characters like Daffy Duck, but his nickname “Bugs” was bestowed upon a soon-to-be-famous rabbit. He worked on Woody’s stories and, combined with some post-production work, took over the voice the character until 1949.

Woody is barely recognizable in his early days. He is more birdlike, his head and beak are elongated, he has a red belly, and his eyes don’t always look the same way. He’s much harsher than the cute little bird so many know today. His features get slightly refined over the years. In 1946 Disney veteran Dick Lundy began directing Woody’s cartoons and toned the character down unless provoked. Lantz’ wife, Grace Stafford, took over as the voice of Woody from 1950 on, although the character didn’t talk as much.

Eventually Woody had regular foils to play off. The Swedish-accented Wally Walrus first appeared in 1944′s The Beach Nut. Buzz Buzzard debuted in 1948′s Wet Blanket Policy as did the Academy Award-nominated “The Woody Woodpecker Song” recorded by Kay Kyser. That was one of the eight nominations for the cartoons in this set, the other seven being for short subjects.

The remaining 30 cartoons are a varied lot. There are five Andy Panda cartoons including the first from 1939 and the last from 1949; five Chilly Willy cartoons; five Swing Symphonies, which were cartoons worked around popular hit songs; ten Cartune Classics from 1933′s King Klunk, a King Kong spoof, to 1955′s Sh-h-h-h-h-h, where a man is prescribed to find silence to keep his nervous system from shattering; and for the serious cartoon buff, five cartoons from the ’30s starring Oswald the Lucky Rabbit, who was created by Walt Disney and Ub Iwerks in 1927.

The work of other cartoon legends graces these discs. Tex Avery directed four cartoons: I’m Cold, The Legend of Rockabye Point, Crazy Mixed Up Pup, and Sh-h-h-h-h-h. The first two listed starred Chilly Willy and the middle two were nominated for Academy Awards. Writer Heck Allen worked on a few of the stories throughout.

Bonus features include a 13-minute biography about Walter Lantz and Woody’s origins from 1982; a Universal feature short from 1936 called Going Places that looks at how an Oswald the Lucky Rabbit cartoon is created; a six-part behind-the-scenes look with Lantz taken from The Woody Woodpecker Show that covers where story ideas come from, animation techniques, and Woody’s development over the years; and a special Halloween episode with the only original Woody Woodpecker cartoon created for the television series, “Spook-a-Nanny,” which featured a lot of Lantz characters.

Of course, it wouldn’t be a collection of cartoons from the ’40s and ’50s without the inevitable yet unfortunately expected embarrassing characterizations of Indians, Africans, Italians, etc., but for the most part this is a fantastic set with a lot of laughs. The Woody Woodpecker and Friends Classic Cartoon Collection belongs in the library of every serious fan of animation and those who enjoy a good laugh.

The gruesomeness starts during the opening credits as a young woman, naked, filthy, and chained to a bed, gives birth to some thing and is immediately killed with a blow to the head. Then title cards explain what had happened in the previous film and how the military were setting up surveillance equipment in the area. Mutants start killing the scientists, although there is one mutant who appears different. He looks slightly child-like and warns a scientist to run a moment too late. National Guard troops have been unsuccessfully running training exercises in the field. On their return, they discover the missing personnel and begin a rescue mission with predictable results.

Horror fans should enjoy the frightful/humorous moments as the make-up and special effects departments show what they can do. Standouts are one soldier getting dragged through a hole in a cliff wall, causing his leg to be bent the wrong way, and another solider having his arm cut off while climbing only to have a mutant wave with it as he plummets to his death.

Yet, once the soldiers started getting killed, I found myself uncomfortable. To see members of the National Guard murdered and raped for entertainment purposes when many fellow Americans are fighting overseas was more disgusting than anything that happened in the film. Not that I am against telling stories that include soldiers, but their pointless exploitation illustrate a deficit in the tact, if not also the talent, of Craven, his son Jonathan, who co-wrote the movie, and music video director Martin Weisz. Could they not have come up with any other idea for victims? The Hills Have Eyes 2 should not be seen in order to encourage filmmakers to put some thought into what they are creating.

The DVD includes many extras including deleted scenes, which could have included the entire movie, considering how bad the acting and dialogue was, and gag reels, an apt description of my reaction while watching.

Playing off his Stern notoriety, Kallenbach has created a 90-minute DVD out of a number of skits, phony phone calls, man-on-the-street interviews, and footage from his stand-up comedy act and band gigs. While he does occasionally do intentionally funny things, most of the humor is laughing at how unfunny and untalented he is. Kallenbach provides links between the material by disguising himself as a reporter and interviewing himself with questions that make it seem like Kallenbach is already a comedy legend. At one point he reveals, “I just enjoy acting — acting stupid and crazy on TV.” Truer words were never spoken.

The skits run from dumb, like his “The Douches of Hazzard” parody, to insulting and racist, “Towelheads” is a take on Abbott and Costello’s “Who’s On First?” using band names like Rush and Inxs. His phony phone calls are annoying to those on the other end and only occasionally entertaining, depending on the other person’s reactions; they don’t come anywhere near the hilarity of Red at The Tube Bar. During the calls, Kallenbach is shown at a pay phone, but he makes no attempt to move his mouth, so the visual made no sense until he hung up the phone when the call was over.

The stand-up material is passable for an amateur night. He basically does the same act twice. His jokes are goofy and some sound familiar, as if they came out of a humor book. It’s hard to tell if the crowd is laughing at the jokes or at him, but he does get a better response with the second version and his timing is much better.

Kenneth Keith Kallenbach – American Icon is essentially 90 minutes of cable access programming. There’s little to no production value. During his interview, the set is dressed with a chair, a tree, and a black sleeping bag as a backdrop. It’s hard to watch the whole DVD in one setting and only Howard Stern fans will be likely be interested. Stern limits the airtime of guests like Kallenbach, who do much better in small doses, and this DVD proves him correct. Drugs and alcohol may help, but you are going to need a good amount.

To see if Kallenbach is your cup of tea, a lot of his clips, including some from the DVD appear at YouTube.

O’Neill is assigned to an undercover operation that has him working as an assistant to Hanssen, who is revamping the bureau’s information security systems. O’Neill is led to believe he is investigating Hanssen because of sexual deviancy. As they work alongside each other and O’Neill gets to know Hanssen away from the office, the former doubts the voracity of his assignment, in part because Hanssen is such a devout Catholic. His superiors inform him of the true nature of the operation: Hanssen is suspected of providing information to the Russians for well over a decade. However, they don’t have the evidence they need to stop him. O’Neill continues the charade, putting a strain on his relationship with his wife, who can’t handle the presence of the overbearing Hanssen in their lives. Hanssen is finally arrested at a drop spot on February 18, 2001.

The best element of Breach is the acting. Chris Cooper as Hanssen once again delivers a brilliant performance. It’s a pleasure to watch a man so good at his craft. Ryan Phillippe plays O’Neill and is impressive, holding his own with Cooper. The limitations of some young actors are often revealed when they act in scenes with their more gifted elders, like Brad Pitt with Morgan Freeman in Se7en, but in this film a delicate balance is achieved through a combination of both men’s abilities and the characters as dictated by the script.

Billy Ray is an actor’s director. The photography and editing are unobtrusive. He wisely hires talented people and gets out of their way, allowing the camera to record their performances. Not to imply that Ray doesn’t do anything, as if filming a stage play and just turning the camera on, but his decisions show that he is focused on presenting the story rather than his directing.

Extras. The extras include an extremely informative commentary track by Ray and the real-life O’Neill. As a film rather than a documentary, creative choices were obviously made to tell this story under two hours. O’Neill provides details of the actual events as Ray explains the creation of the film. There are 18 minutes of deleted and alternate scenes with commentary by Ray and editor Jeffrey Ford. “Breaching The Truth” has the principals explain how the story became a film. “Anatomy of A Character” looks at how Chris Cooper and others created the role of Hanssen. Volkswagen sponsored this feature. It’s an interesting marketing strategy, being unobtrusive yet reaching many people. In a great example of synergy by NBC Universal “The Mole” is a news segment from NBC’s Dateline that aired on 3/05/01. Chris Hansen is the reporter, years before his claim to fame as the host of To Catch a Predator.

Bottomline. Breach is a good spy thriller, although the realism of the job might not captivate viewers expecting James Bond. There are no imaginative gadgets, wild stunts, and sex scenes, rather basic investigative work and quick thinking, which is equally impressive. Anyone could handle the wild adventures of exotic locations, but what is impressive are the agents’ performance of required, mundane routines day in and day out. Although O’Neill’s story is one small chapter in the Robert Hanssen saga, Breach is a great place to start.

Rather than focusing on Americans without health insurance that politicians usually talk about, Moore examines those who have it. He starts with a series of sad stories about the hardships people have had with insurance companies and then interviews those who have worked on the inside, allowing them to explain the tricks of the trade of denying coverage and saving the company money. Insurance companies are business so obviously profits are their motive, but how much is a human life worth? Would you understand if a company saved $500 as opposed to performing a test that could save your life? Your spouse’s? Your child’s?

The film looks at the U.S. government’s involvement in health care from Nixon’s interest in Kaiser Permanente’s HMOs once he found out they were private enterprise to Hillary Clinton’s work as the chairwoman of the Task Force on National Health Care Reform and President Bush’s Medicare prescription-drug plan, whose main supporter, Congressman Billy Tauzin, went to work for the Pharmaceutical Research and Manufacturers of America the same day he left Congress.

Moore compares and contrasts the U.S. health care system with those of Canada, England, and France, all of whom come out better, but who is to say how accurate it is? Just because we don’t hear any complaints doesn’t mean there aren’t any, and I know from family experience that Canada has its flaws. However, it’s hard to argue, although surely some will, with the World Health Organization ranking the United States 37th in part due to our infant morality rate and life expectancy, placing us between Costa Rica and Slovenia. If our national basketball team were that bad, sports radio would be on fire with outrage.

Moore meets with people who have gotten sick from their volunteer work at Ground Zero, cleaning up Twin Towers debris and looking for survivors. These people are patriots who have severely damaged their health in the service of their country and only received lip service in exchange from the state and federal government. With many politicians boasting about the treatment of prisoners at Guantanamo Bay, Moore takes these American heroes down to the detention center, reasoning it only fair that they receive health care as good as Al Qaeda gets.

Not surprisingly, they don’t get in, so they enter Cuba and go to a hospital. Moore asks that they be treated just as anyone else would, but considering there are cameras around, it’s likely that they received the best care available, and since we see no other Cuban hospital, there’s nothing to compare. Undercover cameras would have provided a more accurate picture. However with that being said, Moore absolutely should not have been able to find anyone who worked or volunteered at Ground Zero who needed his assistance. That fact is an absolute embarrassment to the nation.

As is the footage of a taxi dumping an old woman on Skid Row when a hospital decided her stay was up, unfortunately not an uncommon practice in Los Angeles. Again, hospitals are businesses, so they have to make money, but can’t a better way be found to treat people more humanely? Was it necessary for civil and criminal lawsuits and over a half million in penalties to get Kaiser to treat people better? Does a dollar really mean so much to some people?

However it’s not all tears and tragedy as Sicko has many humorous moments. An insurance company had agreed to give a young toddler who was losing hearing in both ears only one cochlear implant, but when her father wrote a letter claiming he was going to contact Michael Moore, they were somehow able to do both.

In Sicko, Moore presents his version of the story of the U.S. health care system. Even though every single person does the same, he will be chastised for it because some people have yet to realize that documentaries are op-ed pieces. Is everything presented in the film accurate and true as presented? Who knows, but while you shouldn’t trust everything Moore presents, that same standard should be applied to his detractors. Seek out information on your own and make your own decisions.

Both versions of the film tell the same basic story. A strange gigantic meteor crashes in the wilderness of a Japanese mountain range. During a plane trip to Japan, a disembodied alien saves a princess mid-flight right before her plane is blown up in a coup attempt. When we next see her, dressed like a street urchin, she proclaims to be an alien prophet and foresees the end of the world. When her picture makes the newspapers, her enemies back home wonder if the princess foiled their plans. An assassin is sent to Japan to discover the alien’s true identity.

After an odd television appearance, the twin fairies from Mothra vs Godzilla are set to sail home to Mothra Island. The princess appears warning of more danger, but the captain doesn’t believe her. A female news reporter befriends the princess, meaning she sees an opportunity for an exclusive, and takes her in.

King Ghidorah hatches from the meteor. It is a slight cross between Rodan and Godzilla, but looks like a Chinese dragon. It has large wings and, as the film’s title suggests, three heads, all of which shoot some type of energy/lighting beams. Whenever it is in a scene, there is a great electronic noise on the soundtrack. Left unchecked, Ghidorah will cause the end of the world as it did on the alien’s home world.

As Ghidorah wreaks havoc, Rodan and Godzilla fight out in the countryside. The Mothra fairies are asked to get their master from his island to save the day. Unfortunately, the previous Mothra has died, and the current one is only a caterpillar. However, the fairies think that the combined force of the Earth monsters could defeat Ghidorah. Mothra arrives and breaks up the fight–although it could very well be a version of Hackey Boulder they are playing–between Godzilla and Rodan by shooting his silk on them. They stop and in a very funny scene the monsters talk, which is translated by the fairies. Considering the way they have been treated, Godzilla and Rodan see no need to help the humans. Mothra decides to go it alone.

Will the monsters help save Mothra from a certain death? Will Ghidorah destroy mankind? Will the assassins kill the princess? All these questions are answered, and the producers wisely leave open a sequel opportunity.

As long as you can get past the nonsensical script, Ghidorah is a lot of fun. It was a brilliant move of Toho Studios to follow the Universal example of the 1940′s and team up their monsters. While the film is admittedly goofy, the effects and miniatures are very well done, even despite with the occasional appearance of wires. Curiously, Godzilla’s atomic breath looks like smoke in some of the fight scenes. I would have preferred more time of spent on the monsters fighting and causing destruction, and most likely will skip to the fight scenes more often than watching the entire film.

The DVD contains a brief biography about special effects legend Eiji Tsuburaya, the original Japanese trailer and a gallery of movie posters. Author and film historian David Kalat provides the commentary track on the English version. He talks about both versions, but since there’s not a lot of time needed with plot or themes, he provides a wealth of information about the actors and Japanese film history. Kalat’s sense of humor is poor and he is a little dry at times, but he presents the best argument I have ever heard in support of dubbing. His point to the “subtitles only”-supporters is that dubbing allows children to enjoy the films, and surely no one can argue that the Godzilla films shouldn’t be accessible to children. Presenting the film in both formats should be widely accepted, especially when both versions can easily fit onto one DVD.

Mr. Magoo made his first appearance in “Ragtime Bear” (1949), a theatrical cartoon from United Productions of America, a studio formed by former Disney animators. He continued appearing in theatrical shorts, two of which won Oscars, and feature-length cartoons. He also appeared on an album, in his own comic book, a number of television series, and was given the live-action treatment in a 1997 film starring Leslie Nielsen.

No offense to the writers and animators, but what made Mr. Magoo such an engaging character and cultural icon is the brilliant voice work of Jim Backus, known to many TV watchers as Thurston Howell III from Gilligan’s Island. Backus provided Magoo’s voice for over 30 years, and his performances are hysterical, especially Magoo’s rapid alternations between sweet and cantankerous when he gets frustrated.

The Mr. Magoo Show collects 130 cartoons from his first series, which ran from 1960-62. There are 26 shows, each containing five cartoons; however not all focus on them on Magoo. A few cartoons feature the exploits of Magoo’s nephew Waldo with his friend Prezley, whose voice characterization is a very poor W.C. Fields, and others have Magoo’s pets on the loose in the house a la Tom & Jerry. The non-Magoo cartoons are average and thankfully on DVD are easy to skip over. Although the animation is very basic throughout the series, fans will enjoy the meeting between Mr. Magoo and UPA’s other character, Gerald McBoing Boing, as well as hearing legends in the field of cartoon voice work Mel Blanc and Daws Butler.

However, I pause before recommending this set because of Mr. Magoo’s Chinese houseboy, Charlie. He is drawn with beaver-size buckteeth and his broken English is pretty abysmal, always calling Mr. Magoo “Bloss” and referring to himself as “Cholly.” His character is startling and cringe-inducing. I am amazed there have not been any groups protesting this set. For some odd unexplained reason on two of four discs Charlie’s voice has been dubbed by at least two different people who don’t use broken English. Unfortunately, their insertion into the soundtrack is jarring because the sound doesn’t match the original audio. Regardless of historical accuracy the cartoons with Charlie shouldn’t have been released. The only positive aspect is the Chinese shouldn’t feel singled out as Indians and Mexicans don’t get flattering portrayals either.

The film opens with a rocket ship heading toward Planet X, “a mysterious planet…discovered beyond Jupiter.” The crewmembers are Japanese astronaut Fuji and American astronaut Glen. When they get to the planet, they discover aliens who live underground because a creature known as Monster X has made the surface uninhabitable with its wanton destruction.

The alien leader is known as The Controller. He requests the Earthlings’ help in battling Monster X, who turns out to be King Ghidorah, last seen flying away from a battle with Mothra, Rodan, and Godzilla. The aliens request that they be allowed to bring Monster 01, Godzilla, and Monster 02, Rodan to their planet. In exchange with being allowed to retrieve the monsters from Earth, The Controller offers a miracle drug to cure all disease. As the astronauts leave, The Controller issues a maniacal laugh.

Once the astronauts return, the Supreme Council agrees and seeks to determine if the monsters are where The Controller said. As they search a lake Godzilla is supposed to be in, The Controller and his spaceships are discovered already on Earth, casting suspicion on their actions. After Rodan is collected, Glen and Fuji return with the aliens to Planet X. The monsters battle and Ghidorah is driven away.

But something isn’t right as Glen discovers the women on Planet X all look like his girlfriend back on Earth. The astronauts return home with the medical secrets, but unbeknownst to them they’ve been had. When the scientists play the audiotape that is supposed to contain the miracle cure formula, the people of Earth are order to surrender and become a colony of Planet X. The aliens threaten the people by explaining that they control the monsters through magnetic waves and set a deadline of 24 hours for humanity’s capitulation. Of course, by boasting of their plans, the aliens provide a solution.

The aliens set the monsters loose and the Japanese army does its best to fight them. The scenes of the models in battle look spectacular. When the aliens’ hold over the monsters is broken, Godzilla and Rodan battle Ghidorah. The Earth monsters combine for arguably the greatest and funniest fighting tactic from all Japanese monster movies as Rodan carries Godzilla by shoulders, resembling a giant hang glider. As they barrel into Ghidorah, all three plummet off a cliff and into the sea. Only one monster is shown surviving the fall.

Special features include an image gallery, a biography about Japanese film producer Tomoyuki Tanaka, and the original Japanese trailer. Film historian and author Stuart Galbraith IV provides the commentary track on the English version. Unlike some commentators, he doesn’t feel the need to fill every moment. He provides a lot of in-depth information about the film’s actors and producers. For hard-core Godzilla enthusiasts, he provides detailed info about the monster costumes.

Invasion of Astro-Monster is an enjoyable romp and doubles the number of fights between the three monsters from the previous film. While plots have never been the strong suit of Godzilla films, this story really doesn’t make any sense. If the aliens from Planet X were already here and could control the monsters, including Ghidorah, why go through the whole charade? Why pretend to be at Ghidorah’s mercy? Why bring the Earth monsters to their planet? They could have taken over Ghidorah, transported it to Earth, taken over the others, and sent them all on a wild rampage. I am obvious thinking too much, but since they tried to make this sequel bigger and better by heading to outer space, it’s slightly surprising there was obviously no concern about the story. However, the plot holes don’t take away from the fun.

Writer-producers Barbara Corday and Barbara Avedon shopped the project around for years. CBS was finally interested as a vehicle for Loretta Swit, who was working on M*A*S*H, so they greenlit a TV-movie version in which she would play Christine Cagney. Corday’s husband, Barney Rozenzweig was the executive producer and Tyne Daly starred as Mary Beth Lacey. The show did so well a series was ordered, but Swit couldn’t get out of M*A*S*H.

The producers wanted Sharon Gless, but she was under contract to Universal, so Meg Foster was cast as Cagney. The series got poor ratings and was cancelled after its six episode run in the spring of 1982. Negotiations took place to get the show back, but they had to lose Foster because she was considered masculine and aggressive, which really means people saw her character as a lesbian. Foster having played one in A Different Story probably contributed to this view. Gless became available and the rest is television history.

Quoting from Rozenzweig on the show’s website, “Cagney & Lacey was never a police drama; it was about two women who happened to be cops.” Cagney is a single, career woman. Lacey is a wife and mother. They have an interesting dynamic as they struggle to make in this male world as each take different paths. Cagney is usually willing to accept circumstances at work to get in good with the males. Lacey is her own woman and won’t compromise. For example, when a stripper performs at the police station, Cagney joined the fellows, but Lacey had no part because she found it degrading. Cagney pointed out that a year ago they wouldn’t even have been asked.

The show was canceled at the end of this season. Fans wrote in complaining and Rozenzweig told them rather than write the network, write letters to newspapers. Dorothy Swanson asked what she could do and started a letter-writing campaign. It was the first act of Viewers for Quality Television, a non-profit group that ran until 2000 with the mission of saving “critically acclaimed programs from cancellation despite their Nielsen program rating.” CBS couldn’t ignore the response, and asked for the show to come back, which it did in the spring of 1984 for a truncated seven-episode season. Before the hiatus, the 1982-83 season was awarded an Emmy to Daly for Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series and nominations to Gless in the same category to the series for Outstanding Drama.

Even though Cagney & Lacey contains its fair share of melodrama, it was well written and dealt believably for a network drama about issues such as drug use, homosexuality, date rape, and domestic violence. Women issues are explored and not always through one point of view. There is a constant reminder of the male attitude towards women in the workplace, both subtle and overt. The series is entertaining and thought-provoking.

The DVD comes with a two-part featurette called “Breaking the Laws of TV” about the show. The cast, crew, and people like Gloria Steinem discussed the show’s history and its impact. “Pt. 2” focuses on the supporting cast, a talented group, although it is impossible for me not to see Martin Kove as that evil bastard John Kreese from The Karate Kid. I kept waiting for a bad guy to sweep his legs.

The pilot, created by Colin Young, aired as an NBC television movie in March 1966. The series ran from September 14, 1967 to January 16, 1975. Young served as executive producer for the first five episodes and was replaced by Frank Price. A few scenes of the pilot are cut at an extremely rapid pace, causing unintentional humor. Thankfully, that editing style doesn’t transfer to the series. Quincy Jones created the theme song and music for some of the episodes.

When we first meet Ironside, he is man’s man. He drinks bourbon, eats chili, and talks tough, using “flaming” to get around the censors. His drinking and swearing lose their prominence over the season. Ironside provides a lot of the story’s exposition to the viewers as he solves the crimes from his wheelchair, which limited the plot’s action.

Raymond Burr played Ironside after a successful eight seasons as Perry Mason from the show of the same name that ran on CBS from 1957-66. The shows were slightly similar; Mason solves mysteries in a courtroom and Ironside solves mysteries on the streets. Both were excellent at their jobs and almost always prevailed. These factors may have helped viewers accept Burr’s transition, which has always been a notorious one as many actors have failed to have lightening strike twice.

One of the more enjoyable aspects in watching old television dramas is that you’ll never know who is going to show up. Over this first season, some of the more recognizable talent and future television stars are Tiny Tim, Jack Lord, John Saxon, Bruce Lee, Robert Carradine, Norman Fell, Robert Reed, Edward Asner, and Susan St James, appearing as two different characters only a couple of months apart.

Unfortunately, as with many of the Universal Television DVD releases, there are no extras. For those that want to see the series in the order the episodes were produced rather than aired, which will make more sense for those who notice hair and character development, the list is as follows:

Ironside Pilot
Leaf In The Forrest
Eat, Drink, And Be Buried
The Monster Of Comus Towers
Something For Nothing
Tagged For Murder
Message From Beyond
Dead Man’s Tale
The Man Who Believed
An Inside Job
The Taker
Let My Brother Go
Light At The End Of The Journey
A Very Cool Hot Car
The Past Is Prologue
Girl In The Night
The Fourteenth Runner
Force Of Arms
Memory Of An Ice Cream Stick
To Kill A Cop
The Lonely Hostage
The Challenge
All In A Day’s Work
Barbara Who
Perfect Crime
Officer Bobby
Trip To Hashbury
Due Process Of The Law
Return Of The Hero

Judd Apatow’s directorial debut, The 40 Year-Old Virgin, belongs to this new genre and he returns to it with his latest romantic comedy, Knocked Up. Ben Stone is aptly named because he is a stoner with no job. He hasn’t figured out how to get paid for having a head full of pop culture and pot smoke. Alison Scott works at the E! Channel as an on-air personality interviewing celebrities. They meet at a club, and if allow yourself to believe the fantasy that not only would Alison let Ben chat her up and that no better-looking, more-viable man for dating/sex would approach someone as attractive as she is, the hard part is over.

You don’t have to be Mark Brazill to see that the film covers extremely familiar material without adding anything new to it. It reuses the The Honeymooners template of average-looking chubby guy with delusions of grandeur and a heart of gold having a relationship with a great-looking woman who seems to have everything going for her, except for her choice in men. The relationship observations are unoriginal and weak. Women are moody bitches and men are lazy oafs.

What the film excels at are its brief scenes about Hollywood, which should be no surprise as Apatow worked on one of the best “inside Hollywood” shows, The Larry Sanders Show. The executives at E! and the cameos, especially and unexpectedly Ryan Seacrest hilarious turn, who is usually at the other end of these gags, were the most insightful and funny. I wanted more of that rather than returning to the relationship and its predictable path.

There are some unintentionally funny moments as well during Ben and Alison’s sex scenes because she always has her bra on. The movie draws attention to it indirectly due to Ben and his buddies attempting to create a website filled with information about actresses’ nude scenes. I understand if actress Katherine Heigl has come a long way since Bug Buster and doesn’t want to do nude scenes anymore, but why didn’t Apatow shoot around it? It’s not live show; it’s a film where cameras can be placed and bodies positioned to create illusions. It’s part of what directors do.

Fans of films like The 40 Year-Old Virgin should enjoy Knocked Up. The film has some amusing moments, but no great comic scenes that stand out. Waiting to see it on home video in a few months or even skipping it all together won’t have you missing out on what everyone is talking about.