Greed is good.

Wall Street was a searing look at the short-term, out-for-yourself, attitude that was borne of 80′s excess. Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps looks to be a searing look at the short-term, out-for-yourself, attitude that was borne of 00s excess. Will we ever learn?

IMDb has the teaser trailer and it fills me with hope and, more than that, excitement. So much excitement that instead of writing this last night I immediately visited the DVD shelf and got out Wall Street for a well overdue re-watch. The themes in the first film have crystallized and I genuinely believe this should be regarded as one of Oliver Stone‘s very best films.

Back to the task at hand though, the sequel. Filling the Charlie Sheen role we have current wunderkind Shia LaBeouf, who brings the necessary sheen which will no doubt be muddied as he gets tangled in the money game. Josh Brolin seems a good fit as well, although we don’t see much of him in the trailer. And then we have Michael Douglas. Michael Douglas filling the role that he says made him. Michael Douglas back on form. Thats a guess based on how fantastically he seems to slip back into the snakey Gordon Gekko. Oh how I love the leaving jail scene, and even more than that just the looks that let you know he’s back. Much like Oliver Stone I hope.

The big question this film raises in my mind is, given the current anger at the bankers and wall street players, and yet little action, will this film have quite as happy an ending as the first?

Remember Greed isn’t just good anymore, it’s legal.

Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps is out April 23rd 2010.

What do you think? What’s the best Oliver Stone film?

I love The Muppets. I Love Jason Segel. I Love “Flight of the Conchords.” Someone apparently loves me because this match made in my personal fanboy glee may be about to take shape. Vulture claim James Bobin is being offered the gig to direct Disney’s new, Jason Segel/Nicholas Stoller written, The Cheapest Muppet Movie Ever Made.

James Bobin is the co-creator, co-writer and director on the fantastic HBO comedy “Flight of the Conchords” which taught us valuable lessons such as “rappers have feelings” and of course to ensure there isn’t “too much dick on the dancefloor.” As well as this he has worked in a similar capacity on “Da Ali G Show” – another slice of comedy gold.

I’m sure that’s convinced you he’s qualified so lets look at the potentials for this film. Forgetting Sarah Marshall not only showed Segel and Stoller can write comedy, but that they can write muppet comedy, a true skill if ever there was one. James Bobin is a director who can direct comedy. We have the potential for not just a kid’s film, but a truely great comedy. I would be remiss to add that Jason Segel previously mentioned writing some very funny cameos, so maybe now with Bobin on board may we see a cameo from Bret and Jemaine? Or, whisper it, Rhys Darby?

If that was to come to pass you’ll need to get someone else to write about this film because my glee will make breathing a difficulty.

The Cheapest Muppet Movie Ever Made movie doesn’t have a release date but hopefully details will soon come to pass.

What do you think? Does James Bobin’s attachment excite you?

According to Pajiba.com Tom Hanks production company Playtone is developing a movie based on the ‘golden era’ of comedy in the late 70s. The film will show the ruckus caused when Mitzi Shore, owner of The Comedy Store and mother of Pauly Shore, decided not to pay comedians to play there, seeing the opportunity to grow as a performer as payment enough. This led to top comedians of the time going on strike and to the eventual suicide of Steve Lubetkin.

It’s the top comedians themselves who could prove to be the attraction for this film, as the list of comedians who frequented the top L.A. spot was numerable – Eddie Murphy, Tim Allen, Bob Saget, Chevy Chase, Jim’s Carrey and Belushi – not to mention current late night war-er’s David Letterman and Jay Leno. With talent like that involved I’d imagine the whole debacle was humorous at the very least.

The film is to be based on William Knoedelseder’s book “I’m Dying Up Here: Heartbreak and High Times in Stand-up Comedy’s Golden Era” and certainly seems like a rip-roaring yarn that would make a perfect HBO film. That is to say I am a huge fan of HBO’s faux-ality films such as The Late Shift or Tyson which give us a fly-on-the-wall view of celebrity brou-ha-has.

If this film is handled in a similar way, with solid actors playing the ‘celebrity’ roles, I will eagerly await it.

Who would you like to see play the iconic roles? Are you excited?

Flying under the radar at this year’s Sundance Festival is the new comedy by celebrated satirist Chris Morris, mostly known as the guy who takes aim at the most taboo subjects. His new film for example, Four Lions, is an Islamic terrorist farce. Testy to say the least. The film centers on four young Muslims from Northern England who become radicalized and attempt a terrorist atrocity… with hilarity sure to ensue!

Personally I find Morris a bit too eager to shock sometimes with laughs an apparent afterthought, so this seemed dangerous ground. This being said, The Guardian have an exclusive clip which packs in the laughs, all rooted in the intricacies of stockpiling bleach for bomb making. The jokes are nuanced and quite frankly hilarious and the Northern English accents add a realism that grounds it firmly in the working class world of Billy Elliot and The Full Monty. Morris himself has said he wants to show terrorists as “scary but ridiculous” and treat them much the same way as the Nazi’s are treated in many a comedy. It should also be stated that Morris has put incredible work into this to make it not only real, but sensitive of ordinary Muslims who do nothing wrong.

The biggest difficulty this film will have is getting people to go see it, especially in America where the terrorist threat is very real after the Christmas day scare. Whether people are ready to laugh at this subject matter hasn’t been tested, but if they are, we could well have this years In The Loop, which as an aside should be nominated for it’s suberb writing at the Oscars if life is fair. Four Lions can be seen at Sundance, but go quick, in case it doesn’t get picked up for distribution, which let’s be honest is likely.

I’m having a crisis of faith in humanity. As I write, the laughs from my entire family echo upstairs as a pleasant visit home has descended into a group viewing of Jackie Chan’s The Tuxedo, which has been described as “The funniest thing I’ve ever seen” by my own mother. Flesh and blood people! This is the same person who didn’t want to watch Inglourious Basterds as it “looked crap”. What is wrong with the world?!

I’m getting dangerously close to a point that I’ll make now, what makes a film good? The Tuxedo is technically funny, it isn’t actually funny, but technically it’s creating humourous situations out of a freaking tuxedo. I know this to be terrible, and yet my family enjoy it. Does that make it good? Is enjoyment the only real barometer? Rejects, have you ever watched a film that has been hounded by those in the know and thought, “I loved it!” or are these decisions made for us by the shady people known as ‘critics’?

I’d love to know, as its literally impossible to avoid preconceptions on films. We are hounded by trailers, posters and such months in advance including commentary that attempts to sway you on what the film will be like.

Can you realistically make an honest judgment in this environment?

Maybe The Tuxedo is a hidden masterpiece and maybe Basterds an overhyped crap-a-thon. How can we say for sure which is true?

What say you? What makes a film good?

Did you see RocknRolla and think to yourself, I like Toby Kebbell’s crazy Johnny Quid, but maybe Bill Murray would be a better choice? Or maybe a remake of Lost in Translation would retain the same themes and poetic sadness with 27-year-old Kebbell in the role? Me neither but apparently the two are one and the same, as Toby Kebbell has been replaced by Bill Murray in Mitch Glazer’s currently filming Passion Play, according to Production Weekly. Murray will take over the role of “Happy Shannon”, a murderous mobster that drags down Mickey Rourke’s troubled trumpeteer, only for him to be eventually saved by Megan Fox‘s caged circus freak with wings that is actually an angel.

How in the hell have I not heard about this batshit crazy film? Suffice to say batshit seems to work in its favour, as I for one can’t wait to see more on this film. I also can’t really work out why Murray’s been brought on, other than maybe in filming it didn’t look as if Kebbell had the stature to convincingly bitch slap Mickey Rourke, who let’s be honest could tear his face off. Bill Murray however has more gravitas, and more than that has busted Slimer, who had more in common with a human face than Rourke. Regardless of the reasons for this, I am a happy camper as Murray is on my will-watch-anything-with-him-in-it list.

Four Brothers, the John Singleton directed 2005 thriller, is set to be sequel-ized according to THR. It will literally be called Five Brothers. Lets all imagine for a second that Mark Wahlberg, et al get a new baby brother, that while only being a child, has picked up their gangstorial habits so shoots up local nurseries. But unfortunately my spec-script “Gangsta Baby” lays unmade.

Instead what we have are no details whatsoever, not even on casting. Mark Whalberg seems to have a full plate laid out with at least three projects hurtling screenward, but maybe this will career up his career plan with a nice paycheck? I can’t think of another reason than money to make a sequel, as the artistic merit hardly warrants it. So who’s back and what they’ll be doing when their back is a mystery wrapped in a crap film, sorry enigma. I don’t mean to trash John Singleton, I love Boyz-N-The-Hood and Higher Learning is an underrated gem. Maybe a new dawn is coming when John Singleton doesn’t make derivative films that are loosely urban. We will find out in due course I’d imagine.

Someone over at Collider must be good with their Italian to catch this Spider-Man 4 related nugget. John Malkovich was a guest on Italian football (i.e real football) show ‘Quelli Che il Calcio’ and decided this was the place to reveal that he was interested in playing The Vulture, but that he wanted to see a script first and that he hoped they’d pull the finger out and get going with it.

I’m not sure of the track record on Italian football shows breaking movie news, and I speak no Italian past ‘leave the cannoli,’ but I can safely say that John Malkovich is a maverick who plays by his own rules and if he wants to tell the world via an Italian football program, then that’s damn sure what John Malkovich will do. Entertainment Tonight may be fine for your Brad Pitt’s and George Clooney’s, but Malkovich takes the rule book and throws it all the way to little Italy and for that I thank him, as scouring Italian news to check the veracity of this was darned insightful.

As far as the news though, it backs up what’s previously kicked around villain-wise but in my opinion old people aren’t what I thought was missing from Spider-Man 3. If anything, old people did their best to screw that movie to the wall (I’m looking at you Aunt May) so what I hoped was for some hip, cool electric dudes or young and sprightly serial killers covered in alien symbiote. But you get what you’re given and surely Sam Raimi will know to avoid dance sequences and moping this time out. This said, the resolute fact is that John Malkovich is a maverick who can bastardize any language, chew up any scenery and still come out smelling of roses, so flying green men shouldn’t be an issue. With release times still up in the air we’ll find out sometime between now and the future.

I am moving flat in the coming week and one question has plagued me, so you dear readers may be able to provide the answer. How should I order my DVDs? Easy sounding sure, but in practice a logistical nightmare. Some background – in my current flat I was hindered by a lack of space necessitating a great amount of my DVDs to be under my bed, whilst the great and the good were squashed onto a shelf. Then came Blu-rays, which turned my ‘University’ shelf into my ‘Blu-ray’ shelf pretty quickly. But now I will have all of my shiny discs in one place, hopefully in some semblance of order.

The first, most obvious, solution is alphabetical. A simple A through Z would make it easy to find anything and everything, but it would also put the ill advised American Pie 4-play box set at the forefront of my collection along with no less than three Adam Sandler ‘comedies’. Not that these should be hidden, I’m very proud of my whole collection (well apart from Pledge This! starring Paris Hilton that was bought at 5 in the AM under the influence of alcohol) but maybe they shouldn’t be leading the pack when casual visitors try to assess my tastes.

So possibly I should go for ordering by genre. Still simple to find what I’m in the mood for and allows for me to have a ‘shit’ genre in which to hide my indiscretions. But wait, what genre is Fight Club? Drama? Comedy? So what genres do I allow? Too many and it’s scattershot, but too few and picking one over t’other becomes a crapshoot.

All tough decisions and that’s just the start. Should Blu-ray be integrated or separate? Should I have a TV section or can they mingle? Too many questions, too few answers.

How do you organize your DVD collection?

Entertainment Weekly slipped out a little nugget of news last night that makes me very happy – Robert Downey Jr. has seemingly signed on to co-star in Todd Phillips’ next project Due Date. Not excited yet? That’s Todd Phillips who directed The Hangover, oh and breakout star of that film, Zach Galifianakis, is also on board.

Pause while I do a little dance/get down tonight.

This small casting tidbit has cruised this up my must-see list and I can quite confidently say I think this will be one of the funniest films of next year. Too soon I hear you say? Well I’ll just briefly give a plot overview that will hopefully have you won over – Downey plays a soon-to-be dad who must rush cross country, with his unexpected friend Zach Galifianakis, to see the birth of his first child. EW said expect Trains, Planes and Automobiles with Downey in the Steve Martin role. Now that’s a film I want to see.

Its great to see Todd Phillips get a lot of kudos these days, he has been crafting great comedies for quite a few years, stand-outs being Old School and Starsky and Hutch, so it’s good to see him being ‘in demand’. We all know this is the case because Hollywood moguls have seen the dollars roll in for The Hangover, but I hope they also realize it wasn’t luck, The Hangover is one of the funniest films I’ve seen in years and Galifianakis in particular blew me away, he will no doubt whatsoever be the next breakout star in comedy. Obviously we all know what dry wit to expect from RDJ, his career resurgence has been astronomical and I would happily have him be a requisite for all films.

Filming could begin in the fall, giving this a ‘due date’ of early summer, which Phillips has shown can be a gold mine. If we’re that close though, expect the rest of the cast to be filled in soon. Although with these two as the leads you could pad it out with Rosie O’Donnell and Roseanne Barr and I’d still be excited as all hell.

What do you think? Great comedic team-up?

This following piece of news would usually go in the speculative folder, but after Quentin Tarantino’s Inglourious Basterds, maybe he’s a film-maker instead of a film-talker. Obviously I’m being harsh, I’m a fan so I just like new material, and If he wants to take years about it, that’s his business. As long as it’s worth it. Well next up on the talk list is the fabled Western he’s mentioned in the past. Every genre must be Tarantino’d after all. Empire got the scoop at the Basterds Brit premiere last night:

“Well I still want to do a Western, I haven’t done a Western yet. I keep flirting about with it, but I haven’t done it yet.”

The flirt goes on Mr. Tarantino, feel free to whip up a script any time. It seems he’s not really that sure what will be filling his time after the war, not really that odd considering how long he generally takes between films. This is something I thought Basterds could have changed. I mean he went from script to screen in less than a year, normal for your Woody Allen’s, but hardly QT style. If he did decide to do this, I’m sure it would curb most western rules anyway, much like Basterds apparently casts history to the wind.

Anyway, none of this is out of his head yet, never mind on the page, so I’d suggest not holding your breath. I mean don’t do that at any time really, it’s dangerous. I’m just not sure I want to see his western that badly. If it did come to fruition, I’d see it and it would most likely be good, but given the choice I’d rather see something more Pulp Fiction-y. Not a repeat by any means, just him doing what he does best, dialogue and gangsters it seems. This is all said from a Quentin apologist though, so feel free to add your own opinion down below.

What do you think? What should QT do next?

We may be a film site here, but all good rejects love some TV, Dexter especially, as it is truly TV at its most cinematic. Those at Comic-Con got first looks at this, but I’m very grateful to Showtime for allowing us mere mortals, that live whole countries away, the chance to see the Dexter teaser. They’ve popped it up on the website and any fans should really check it out. It has no real spoilers, as I believe it was mentioned on the Con panel that their only five episodes in filming wise.

This peek at the coming season only fills me with excitement, John Litgow will, I feel, prove a masterstroke. It was he who provided the money quote at the Con that leaves me giddy:

“I’m the only person on the set who knows what’s going to happen in all 12 episodes. I could speak two sentences right now that would make this entire building explode.”

So a big finish then John? How terribly exciting. I shall now put on my guessing hat and make a stark prediction – John Lithgow’s character is Dexter’s real dad. Pure speculation by me and maybe even a bit similar to previous plots, but it would surely be a shocker. It’s also possible they could take a trick from the book series and have Debra find out about her brothers secret. Exciting at first but raises a bit of a moral quandary to say the least. This is all my own fanboy-like guessing game though, and if I know anything by now it’s that the Dexter showrunners are great at pulling the carpet from under the viewer. In further Comic-Con news it seems we’ll get a prequel, in animated form, on the interwebs in the lead up to season 4 on September 27th. Well darned if that’s not great, any Dexter I can get, I’ll take.

It’s safe to say I can’t wait until Dexter comes back. I’ve missed catching up with Michael C. Hall’s demented blood spatter analyst, who over three seasons is yet to disappoint me.

Dexter returns to Showtime on September 27, 2009. Have a look at the trailer below.

Are you excited for the return of Dexter? Season predictions?

Variety is reporting this morning that a sequel has been confirmed for last years sleeper hit The Strangers, making them more “The don’t really know them that well, but we did meet them once’s.” Laurent Briet is set to direct, making it his feature film debut, having done music videos and visual effects on The Ring. It had a lot of scares, so if he can visually effect them he can probably direct them. Original director Bryan Bertino is still scripting, but has elected not to direct, presumably being tied down with work on his next horror Alone.

Shooting will begin in the fall and we as yet have no casting news, so whether it will include Liv Tyler and Scott Speedman is up in the air. Presumably the only necessary ingredients are the scary masked people, but who knows. You can probably tell that I haven’t seen The Strangers, mostly because the trailers that seemed to run for weeks had be properly scared. A success at what it wants then, and one I may catch up on at some point, as despite having similar chops for scares as an eight-year-old, I like a well made thriller. With the door locked anyway.

I’m left with one question for those that have seen it, how sequel worthy is this? Can you really be scared of strangers twice? At some point they must stop being strangers and become stalkers if the cast stays the same. I’d just be concerned that the concept would be spread to thinly, I don’t want to be here writing about The Strangers 7 after all. We’ll see just how strange they are sometime 2010, until then answer your doors freely.

What do you think? Is The Strangers 2 a good idea?

In my daily perusings of Variety I got some news that caused me to drop my cornflakes. They have confirmed Saw VII for a Halloween 2010 release, because obviously, Saw VI will drop this year. It seems the promises of a closing chapter are still quite a while away as the $700 million juggernaut plows on. The two chief producers of the first six are still on board and it seems the director of the fifth, David Hackl, is on board for the seventh. He was also production designer for two through four. I believe they are tapping the secretary to the AD from the original to helm the eighth, so it’ll stay in the family.

Spoiler alert for those that didn’t catch the poster for Saw V but Jigsaw died in four (I think) so how can they continue? I say this as someone that hopped out after the third installment so maybe a commenter can catch me up. It just seems that the course has been run, but hell if they could last this long I’m sure they can continue to pull stories from their backside.

All jests aside this was expected by all and sundry, and will no doubt continue on until the end of time. Or the money stops, whichever comes first. You can hardly blame them, Saw V made money and the whole thing seems to have a solid fanbase. The continued dilution however has hurt what I saw (no pun meant) as a truly original horror in Saw. It had enough shocks and scares and twists without resorting, I don’t think, to torture porn as the end game. It was nearer Seven than Saw VII in opinion. If its your desire though you can see whats happening with Jigsaw and pals every Halloween from now until the apocalypse.

While I’m here though, I should point out a fancy new poster for Saw VI that Bloody Disgusting got their hands on. It promises the game coming full circle, so part seven is a reboot? Check the poster below.

What do you think? Do you want more Saw?

Now the geek in all of us says that Star Wars is bitchin’ cool. But just how far does your devotion go? I think we all have a friend that likes it a bit too much, so here we have news for that very friend. Star Wars: In Concert gives us what we apparently didn’t know we needed, John Williams rousing scores, to all six films, narrated by C3PO.

But wait, there’s more! You also get exclusive peeks at some never before seen Star Wars memorabilia, including, now hold on to your hats here, genuine costumes for Kit Fisto and Plo Koon! Sold.

Now I apologize to all fanboys, sorry fanpeople, but this just seems like it’s over the line for me, I mean will John Williams be there? No he will not, so you have it live sure, but not at the hands of the man that plucked his way into your hearts. Maybe I’m being harsh though, as we also have the largest screen ever taken on tour, showing high-def clips in sync to the music. OK thats pretty freaking cool, I’m human, so Star Wars on Blu-ray is high on my want list and seeing it on a three story screen would be impressive to say the least.

But yes, perennial complainers, Lucas still thinks up new ways to milk the cow, and damned if you wouldn’t do it too. If it was me you’d be meeting your favourite characters at StarWarsLand and paying for the privilege. So he supplies the demand, what can you do. You can move on and enjoy your lovely Star Wars trilogy DVD like I do, oblivious to the concerts, cartoons and various other ‘cash grabs.’

For more information mosey over to www.StarWarsInConcert.com and get more information on the arena tour that kicks off in Anaheim on October 1st.

What do you think? Would you see Star Wars: In Concert?

Today we have fantastic postery goodness for Martin Scorsese’s forthcoming Leonardo Di Caprio double team Shutter Island. I say fantastic, but the poster, courtesy of Yahoo, is a bit bland for my tastes. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not bad per se, just makes me feel a bit blasé. I think it could be that this is just the boring, ‘get all the Leo fans in poster’, while we movie geeks are seen as the converted. Fair enough my ticket was sold with ‘A Martin Scorsese Picture’ so why should they keep trying.

I do like the tagline though, and I can’t help but feel the person that’s missing is Di Caprio himself, oh you fiendish devil’s Paramount, your so darn cryptic! I’d like to prattle on about my feelings on the movie, but with the Comic Con juggernaut sure to pore forth news I can hoover up, and the fact that posters post trailer seem fairly redundant, I’ll just let you enjoy Di Caprio’s face and say “Hey that film look’s good!” and then continue with your fine day.

Shutter Island comes into focus 2nd October.

What do you think? Intriguing or boring?

Sony has won the bidding war for rehearsal footage of the late Michael Jackson, who passed away last month. What they plan to do with this footage is apparently make a concert film, which will include performances culled from the 80 hours, plus a special video for “Thriller” that may, or may not, be in 3D. The project could be in cinemas by the end of the year for a sure fire cash-in.

This is all according to Variety‘s report on the matter, which suggests Sony winning out was mainly due to them having the rights to Jackson’s catalog. Didn’t stop them having to pay $50 million to AEG Entertainment though, who are doing their damndest to make back the money they lost betting that MJ could manage a 50 night tour. A director is in place, mostly due to his having shot the previously mentioned 80 hours, and it’s High School Musical supremo Kenny Ortega. Here’s where I make the requisite joke about him having made the HSM cast sing well, so Jacko’s corpse shouldn’t be a problem. I had to make it, but I still feel dirty now.

My feelings are that this is a cash grab in a time where Mike’s name buys a lot of cred (and T-shirts) in this current climate, and that it’s still a big gamble as we don’t have the full details of his death. When I say ‘we,’ I mean that TMZ hasn’t bought the full details of his death yet. I do think that it could be intriguing, in a kind of weird way, it’s just hard to tell how the Jackson legacy will be seen in hindsight. A lot of people are bogged down with the current ideal of St. Michael, which everyone must know is simply not true. Hopefully Sony can get this out while the feelings still good and maybe they could even do a sing-a-long version like Mamma Mia and get twice the money from fans!

What do you think? Cash grab or fitting memorial?

We realize that Bruno has been in theaters for a week now, so we may seem late to the game on this. Hell, if you didn’t see it opening night in order to gossip at the water cooler the next day, you were late to the game, too it seems. However, the more we thought about Sacha Baron Cohen’s style of humor, the more we wanted to explore that awkward world even more.

I don’t know about you, but I adore comedy like this that takes it to the edge. I like the awkward silences, the painful conversations and the jaws to the floor, I-can’t-believe-they-did-that moments. Bruno is just the latest in a long line of OH-MY-GOD comedy, that seems to be in its heyday. As everyone knows Britain is the home of awkward moments, thus I (as the token Brit) feel in a nice position to pick out the current kings of squirm inducing comedy.

5.  Damon Beesley and Iain Morris – The Inbetweeners, Flight of the Conchords

“Who?” I hear you ask. These may not be the most well known guys at this stage, but I predict big things for the future. They know how to craft an awkward moment perfectly, as anyone that has seen their series “The Inbetweeners” can attest. Outside Britain this has yet to make a dent, but it is the most realistic depiction of those ‘inbetween’ cool and geek. The situations are almost unbearable to watch as the reality of trying to hump whatever looks at you in high school backfires. They also wrote two episodes of the superb “Flight of the Conchords,” which has been note-perfect since episode one. Both fantastic portrayals of awkward comedy, and I eagerly await series three of “The Inbetweeners” and whatever else they lend their talents to.

Awkward moment of glory:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uvTgvEzpSzQ&feature=fvste1

4. Seth MacFarlane – Family Guy, American Dad, The Cleveland Show

Here’s where I get hate comments. Yes I love “Family Guy”, dearly love it. I love the too-soon humor, I love the cut-away gags and most of all I love the balls out offensiveness of it all. I’ve been on board for years and following the adventures of Peter, Stewie et al has become a ritual. Of course this brand of comedy has split audiences, but I feel putting comedy before plot doesn’t hurt. But here we come to the reason for its inclusion on this list – the awkwardness. To fully enjoy pop in the DVD while sitting with your parents, or even better your in-laws, and watch as their opinion of you falls lower than Lindsay Lohan’s self esteem. See the pop culture referencing is contagious. Love it or hate it though, Seth MacFarlane is the highest paid man in TV land and with “American Dad” and “The Cleveland Show” already taking over, we’ll likely see a “Family Guy” film. Maybe you should get used to people liking it.

Awkward moment of glory:

3. Larry David – Curb Your Enthusiasm, Seinfeld

Larry David is a genius of comedy. He knows what makes funny, and he crafts moments of well earned cringe. You can only watch in agony as Larry puts himself in situations that will always end badly, he even seems to see it coming and yet on the path he stays. It’s the improvisational tactic that adds a fresh edge to scenes, as we don’t know where it’s going to go because they don’t either. The plots of almost all episodes are based solely around David’s social faux pas, which range from criticising the Black’s (the family of course) to having floppy trousers that look like an erection. Watching, you can’t help but feel bad for Larry as he is simply in the wrong place at the wrong time all the time. You’d think after six seasons you couldn’t wring more awkwardness out but we have a seventh season on the horizon, where of course the reality of being a ‘black’ will sink in.

Awkward Moment of Glory:

2. Ricky Gervais – The Office, Extras

Never has the simple office life been captured in all its painful glory. The basic, horrible, difficult day to day monotony captured flawlessly. David Brent is every boss everyone’s ever had, and therein lies the appeal of watching bad jokes land like a thud in a silent office. Encapsulating real life embarrassing moments is much more painful as you can’t help but regress to that time your manager asked you out for a drink and you had to mumble about doing something else. “Extras” is a different beast, leaving behind the ‘real’ world and yet the uncomfortable nature stays true. We get Andy Millman mistaking disabled people for drunks and kicking dwarfs in the head. Not something I can say I’ve done (yet) but just seeing the terrible consequences has you hiding behind the couch. Gervais main attribute is that he treats the audience with enough respect to know that he’s not a racist, or a misogynist, just an idiot. An idiot who always says the wrong thing.

Awkward Moment of Glory:

1. Sacha Baron Cohen – Borat, Ali G, Bruno

Make no mistake, Sacha Baron Cohen isn’t top of this list just because Bruno came out last week. He’s top because he gives awkward comedy captured with real people. So he not only puts his shame on the line, instead possibly his life. Take for example Bruno’s jaunt to an American football game in Alabama, or Borat’s rendition of ‘throw the Jew down the well’. This is the bravest a comedian can be; Putting themselves secondary to the laughs. Ali G was of course his first character, and he is a shining example of playing dumb, somehow making the interviewee look more stupid.  I can’t even fathom having the audacity to ask Buzz Aldrin whether the moon exists, and whether he was jealous of Louis Armstrong getting to go first. I’m shifting uncomfortably even thinking about it. His improvisational ability and startling ability to say anything. We shall of course see on Friday just how much further he’s willing to go.

Awkward Moment of Glory:

What do you think? Who is the best awkward comedian?

Robert Rodriguez has been pimping Machete on loop since the faux-trailer dropped between the two segments of Grindhouse in 2007 (well, for America anyway). And like many of you, I’d be intrigued to see certified bad-ass Danny Trejo machete up and cut his way through piles of people in search of the bastard who is presumably responsible. At least I think that’s the plot.

The last time we checked in, Machete was headed in front of the cameras at the end of July, and now that may actually happen. I know, I’m just as shocked as you. Get ready to really hold on to your brollies (umbrellas) though, as Bloody Disgusting has the skinny on who’ll be joining Trejo in the film. Michelle Rodriguez, Jonah Hill and Robert De Niro. And you thought this was B-Movie shlock. Yes, they have an inside source which also peeped them to news on the new Alien and Predators so it seems reputable. Nonetheless file this under rumor until more is known.

Personally I enjoy a good rumor, if it’s clearly marked that is, and this is a doozy. I know De Niro is a shadow of his former self, and I admit he probably won’t hit the heights of Rocky and Bullwinkle again, but we can always hope. It’s almost odder that Jonah Hill has signed on, he’s hardly been out of comedy, and I suppose he could pull the laughs in what will surely mop up at the crazy-as-shit awards later in the year. Michelle Rodriguez is no surprise, she’s so crazy she chose jail over rehab and treats speed limits as challenges. I’m beginning to think she’s part of a Bolt-like scenario and her helpers lead her from set to set telling her it’s real. In that case, keep the machetes with the other ex-con in the lead role. At least he seems to have his mental faculties.

So to sum up, Robert Rodriguez may be done prick-teasing fans, possibly taking the lead from Tarantino’s decision to make films instead of talk about them.

Wait a minute, where’s Sin City 2? Damn you Rodriguez!

What do you think? Are you ready to grab you Machete?

Nicolas Cage is in need of one thing more than a haircut – a clue. That clue would of course tell him to avoid comic book adaptations where he’ll look ridiculous, despite his ‘love’ for comics. And yet he continues to shoehorn his way in, sure that the next one will be a success. Well thanks to MTV (via First Showing) we know that a reboot, sorry, a reconceiveing of 2007 travesty Ghost Rider is in the works. No I don’t really understand either, so I’ll pass you on to Mr. Cage:

“I would like to do a reconceive, I would like to go in a whole other direction, and I think that’s what they’re talking about.”

So reboot has passed the cool phase and we’re into the age of the reconceive. God I hope not, that requires real thought to spell every damn time. I’ll just add it to the list of reasons I think Nicolas Cage is an asshole. I will note though, that you can’t do either a reboot or a reconceive if its the same lead actor, as it then becomes, and take notes nere Nic, a SEQUEL. I don’t care if everything else has changed, a sequel equals same character and same actor. So in this case we’re talking sequel, which I’d imagine they don’t want to, because of the terrible reception of its predecessor. So to further this he also claims it’ll be nothing like that other one in setting also:

“I would make it much less of a Western and more of an international story”

Seems like a grab at those pounds, roubles and yen that backended Terminator: Salvation really, rather well. Bad news though, comes with the fact that most international folks knew of the Terminator but are slightly hazy on the hells angel with a flaming skull. I do like the pandering to the rest of the globe though, as it puts me in the power position to demand what I want from my summer blockbusters. No, wait it means that we get cheesy moments whereby huge robots pass by the Eiffel Tower or Big Ben. This will obviously ensure we flock to the cinema screens.

Ghost Rider 2: Flaming Boogaloo, as I’ve coined it, will however, most likely not be made. The first isn’t regarded highly at all, and Cage hardly rocks the box office these days so I think he’ll just keep bringing it up, trying to get people like me talking about it, but that won’t work on me Cage! I’m no hidden treasure on Mount Rushmore you can just buy!

Oh fuck, forget what you just read, it’s for the best.

What do you think? Do you want the Johnny Blaze to ride again?