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Thank Buddha because the summer movie season is finally here!

The first thing I noticed from watching the second series of this underrated NBC drama without having watched the first is that just about every major female character has great big knockers.

All addicts have their favorite hook-ups. Movie addicts aren’t much different. They all have a movie store they go to, sometimes on a weekly basis, where they blow their paychecks on DVDs, posters and other assorted paraphernalia.

Whether you thought Charlton Heston was a God-fearing man who could actually make God fear him or another crazed gun nut who would shoot his mouth off faster than a bullet-spewing MP5, you have to admit he was a man worth admiring.

Henry Bean’s latest film, Noise, about a man who tries to silence New York City by breaking into cars and disconnecting the alarms is based on a true story. It’s partly his own. I don’t just mean he wrote the script. I mean it’s based on his own life.

It’s an hour and a half from McKinney to Dallas. It consists of a half hour straight shot towards the heart of the Big D followed by an hour of twisting concrete that go back and forth, over and under, on top and underneath each other in order to squeeze every square inch of land into driving space for the daily commuters.

Al Gore has global warming. Rev. Jim Phelps has homosexuality. Uwe Boll has film critics. Everyone needs something to fight whether it matters to the rest of the world or not and director Henry Bean takes noise pollution to task in his sarcastic, clever, witty David and Goliath comedy Noise.

Director/Screenwriter Jason Wulfsohn and screenwriter/actor Sacha Grunpeter experiment with a unique way of delivering their message in Tracing Cowboys, but its delivery makes to hard to want to discover it.

Every journalist who actually carries about journalism knows the legend of Hunter S. Thompson. They know about his love affair with guns, explosives and other things that go “Boom” and can wake up enter counties.

We got an entire movie theater to ourselves. This has never happened to me or anyone I know. Then again, everyone I know is a tool so that either means God smiles on people who aren’t the biggest tools or there is no God and we’re all on our own.

Most God fearing people think of envy as a deadly sin, a mortal blotch on your soul for St. Peter to see on your resume when you’re trying to get that sweet champagne supermodel pool boy gig in Heaven. Not me.

Everyone has wondered what it would be like if the world came to an end. How would it happen? Would it be our fault? Would the rest of the universe even notice? Will it be on YouTube?

When I first heard another Indiana Jones movie was coming out, a little part of my brain perked up and fired off a warning shot that this may not be such a good thing.

Richard Gere and Terrence Howard go in search of a Bosnian warlord.

There’s something missing from today’s movie multiplexes other than quality films, sticky theater floors that don’t feel like the killing floor of a slaughterhouse and money in your wallet after you leave.

When that time comes, let’s pray archaeologists don’t excavate a 2 million year old Blockbuster… Such as Meet the Spartans.

It’s easier to escape from Guantanamo Bay with only duct tape and plastic sheeting than the phrase “You have to see Juno.”

It’s hard not to not like the Brothers Solomon, the actual characters, not the movie… not.

Belief is a funny thing. One person may think something is the most brilliant book, movie or song they have ever heard and another person will read, watch or hear the exact same thing and think their head has just been raped by evil spirits.

It’s New Years’ Eve, the holiday that draws some of the biggest, greatest, drunkest parties of the entire year. Here are the greatest parties in movie history.

There are a slew of Christmas movies out there, which seems rather unfair because it’s the only holiday where movies are made specifically for it.

When the Fedex guy came round my nest of vipers with the latest DVD offerings, he handed me a copy of “Wish Gone Amiss,” a three episode set of Disney Channel sitcoms. I looked at them and thought, “Oh good, I needed a coaster.”

It’s Christmas dammit. Put a little love in your heart.

It’s official. Hollywood has run out of ways to milk Christmas for everything that it’s worth. I know because I have seen its end of days and it’s called “The Santa Clause 3.”

My Christmas shopping trip was Hell. No wait, that doesn’t really describe it. At least Hell has a lava hot coffee break. It was below Hell. It was Dante’s Inferno on Ice.

If you’ve spent the last three years building up your “Crank Yankers” collection, Comedy Central just totally boned you.

With no apologies to Dr. Seuss, because, hey, he’s dead. What’s he going to do to me?

Food, like all of life’s great pleasures (sex, love, art, sex, books, music, sex and sex), can be a great expression for the joy of living.

The one recurring thought that will run through your head while you watch “The Hoax,” the story of author Clifford Irving who faked the autobiography of Howard Hughes, is “How will they pull this off?” and that applies to both the film and the story.

‘The War’ is Hell, As It Should Be