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Shrek the Third arrives on the big screen as an undercooked lark that isn’t half as witty as it thinks it is, nor is it half as deep as it would like to be. It has its moments of laugh out loud hilarity, but there is no connective tissue to string the gags together…

In 2002, Danny Boyle brought us 28 Days Later, and with it a world with a virus that could turn a man into a bloodthirsty animal in a matter of seconds. The virus spreads quickly with no way of stopping. Soon, the nation was caught in the throes of the Rage. Now, five years after that first film brought us the revisionist zombie world, we are given a new tale of the infected…

When I say this in the theater one word came to mind, “delightful.” Yes, that is the perfect word to describe Because I Said So. It is a light film that has a couple of poignant “real” moments adrift in the sea of a formulaic “chick flick.” This is a movie that exists in that [...]

Recently, I read about Spike TV debuting yet another awards show. Far be it from the guys at Spike to follow the crowd with your standard categories, they have picked a pair of nominees in a variety of oddball categories targeted at men. Before we can get to that, I have to ask, do we really need another awards show?

An exploitation film for a more conservative audience. Georgia Rule is a film that seeks to use some frank sexual dialogue in the service of a moderately exploitive tale of truth, love, and ultimately redemption. Unfortunately, the end result is somewhat half-baked stab at giving us a family on the verge of self destruction.

The Ex is the kind of movie that will give you some chuckles while you watch it, but when you leave and you stop to think about what you had just seen, you will realize that it wasn’t nearly as edgy or smart or funny as it could have been.

This was certainly an interesting experience. After finishing the movie I felt, well, numb. I was not quite sure what to make of it, and I have to admit to being lost much of the time. I got the idea of what was going on, but a lot of the surrounding whys, whos, and whats [...]

Wow, Smokin’ Aces. This was the first jolt of life that came to the 2007 calendar year. It was the first film to ignite the excitement of the cinema. It opened at the end of January, and was not really met all that enthusiastically by the critical world. Hell, even I wasn’t quite sure if I liked it when I left the theater that night. However, I do know that my adrenaline had jumped up a few notches. The film is, essentially, Tarantino to the nth degree, but without all the skill in execution. What it lacks for in polish and finesse, it makes up for in its frenetic energy.

Remakes tend to raise the ire of genre fans the world round. Whether you have seen the original film or not, you are bound to have an opinion. While some remakes scare me, like the upcoming The Day the Earth Stood Still (which has me quaking), I don’t want to be the kind of guy [...]

In what had to seem like a brilliant piece of counter programming to the studios, in the face of the spider juggernaut, Warner Brothers opened this romantic drama with America’s sweetheart, Drew Barrymore. Unfortunately, the film failed to make a splash of any sort at the box office, and is destined to slip quickly, fading from the minds of moviegoers almost as fast as it entered it. The big question is whether or not it deserved this sad fate. I know the answer, the answer is no, it deserves better. The film has a good heart, has a wonderfully organic flow, and is just really enjoyable in a light sort of way.

Bloated and overcooked seems like a good way to describe this latest Spider-Man entry. Despite the fact that it fails to live up to the promise of the second installment, this one still delivers on the level of spectacle. The performances are good, for the most part, the effects are the pest of the three, and the action is thrilling. The problems lie within the story, script, and pacing, all of which ahve issues that threaten to sink it. The relationship is similar to X-Men: The Last Stand and X2, although not to the same extreme. This film is able to survive on the good will built up by the director, and the fact that there are more good points than groaners, though the good points aren’t strung together in a terribly strong fashion.

Prior to the release of the latest webslinging adventure, there was a lot of talk that it would be the last of the Spider-Man movies. Sam Raimi was, and is, in talks to helm a trilogy of films based on The Hobbit for New Line Cinema, taking up the reigns from Peter Jackson. On that note, Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst have said that they would not be returning, especially if Raimi isn’t in the director’s chair. So who should replace them?

No, it’s not just a clever title. The name of the movie is Next, as in “wait for the next movie to come out.” I did not pay attention to the content of the reviews coming out, but the tone has been overwhelmingly negative. I didn’t want to believe it. I mean, you have source material from Philip K. Dick, a decent director in Lee Tamahori, and lead roles filled by Nicolas Cage and Julianne Moore. It almost seemed like a slam dunk, but then again, this is Hollywood we’re talking about. The final film is a mess of story, a lack of character, and just a great premise turned into a cheap gimmick, a parlor trick worthy of Cage’s Frank Cadillac.

Not a terribly strong week for new releases. I guess they are thinking that no one will be home watching new DVDs come the weekend when Spider-Man 3 is released. That leaves me with not that much to choose from. Still, far be it that a week passes without something that interests me, there are a few notable new films to hit the shelves, and at least one that you should avoid at all costs. Now, let’s a take a look at what is coming out this week.

Get the full DVD recap after the jump…

What do you get when you cross The Sixth Sense with Ghost what do you get? Well, probably something that looks like The Invisible, but stars Bruce Willis and Whoopi Goldberg. You know, that probably would have been a better movie, instead we actually get The Invisible, a dullard of a film populated with a cast that is easy not to like. There were a number of things to like about the movie, but with characters that I did not care for, it was hard to be entertained. Now I don’t need a movie to have likable characters, but some movies need them, you need someone to identify with, and this one failed to deliver.

From the brilliant team behind Shaun of the Dead, comes this new genre mash up. Following the successful reinvigoration of horror/comedy, they have turned their eye on the action/comedy. The results are spectacular. The approach to making a successful spoof of the action genre is to play it straight. A plot involving murder in a small town is approached with deadly seriousness and the comedy just builds from there. It is such a brilliant comedy that blends subtle and wildly over the top comedy within a story that is actually well developed and much more than what you would expect from what is, essentially, a movie that makes fun of buddy action conventions.

How far is too far? Reality television isn’t going away, and with everyone looking for the next way to shock an audience, how far away are we from a show that introduces a real battle to the death? The things are going, it does not seem to be that far removed from a possible reality. From the ratings that shows like American Idol and Survivor generate, combined with the wall to wall, twenty four hour coverage of such tragedies as the recent Virginia Tech shooting, Columbine, and the ongoing war in the Middle East, I would not be hard pressed to believe that there is some unscrupulous producer concocting a scheme to inject a little more shock and awe over what is presently acceptable for prime time television. It is this very subject that The Condemned seeks to contend with, sadly, they don’t hit the broadside of a barn.

When I saw Night at the Museum projected on the big screen, I found myself having a good time in spite of myself. I remember walking into the theater and wanting to enjoy it, but also wanting to not enjoy it too much. Why I had that approach I have no idea. Despite those intentions, my defenses were quickly worn down and I found myself sucked into this delightful family fantasy. Revisiting now on DVD, I find I have no defense to the charms contained within. Is it a great movie? No, not really, but what it does do is hit all the right notes and deliver a wide eyed spectacle that has a lot of heart. You will turn it off at the end with a smile on your face, and perhaps the desire to visit a museum to see where “History comes to life!”

Welcome, once again. This week brings with it a large number of television titles, so if you are a fan of the so-called idiot box, this is going to be a happy week for you. As for you fans of the big screen, there are still a few choice selections for you, including an Oscar winner and one of the biggest box office hits of 2006. So whatever you may be looking for, I am sure there is at least one title for you in this week’s crop of freshly grown home entertainment.

So, Gaspard Ulliel failed to give you that old time Hannibal itch that needed scratching. Well, you may now be able to satisfy that itch. No, this is not a a new entry in the Hannibal series, but it does feature Anthony Hopkins in a deliciously twisted role that has him facing off with the forces of good. No, it is not a horror movie, but it does deliver murder and an ingenius way of covering it up. Fracture is an effective crime thriller featuring strong performances in its two leads. It is a filled with tense drama, surprising humor, and is one of the best thrillers so far this year.

Ryan Gosling stars as Will Beachum, a sly, cocksure assistant district attorney whose impressive conviction record has allowed him to rise up the ranks in a short period of time. His rising stock has attracted the attention of a high powered private firm that brings the promise of big money and a whole new lifestyle. Before he can leave his public job behind, he has one more case to try, and it promises to be the toughest one he has faced yet, putting his future in jeopardy.

I have seen this little movie described as Psycho meets Saw, and that description is rather fitting. It is not entirely appropriate, but effectively describes the movie in a form of cinematic shorthand. I went into the movie with lowered expectations, although I cannot deny that I was excited over the possibility of a down and dirty little horror movie. When I walked out, I wondered why I had those lowered expectations. Vacancy turned out to be a gritty little film that succeeded at creating a foreboding atmosphere and delivering some old school thrills.

Looking for an engrossing character study crossed with a heist film? Well have I got a movie for you. The Lookout advertises itself as a movie about a bank robbery where one of the characters is manipulated into assisting until the tables get turned. Sounds rather simplistic, but there is much more to it than that. The heist actually turned out to be a small part of the story, sure it is a tense buildup, but it is so much more about the main character, played by the ever impressive Joseph Gordon Levitt.

Welcome, one and all. Welcome to the weekly column tha brings to you only the choicest of DVD selections for the new week. Each week brings hundreds of new movies and television shows to the world of the shiny little disks. How are you to know which you should waste your time with? Easy! Read this weekly column which informs you which title is most desireable, and what others may be of interest. Apologies to you regular readers, but with more and more people seeking me out, or merely searching for a new voice, I am here to help.

Are you looking for a tightly wound thriller that doesn’t waste time on extraneous plot points? Perhaps a film that eschews the trend towards bloat, you know, something with a running time that doesn’t require planning on just how you are to fit it all in? Maybe you just want to see a film that is skillfully told, that draws you in and holds you in its grasp as the cast puts on an acting clinic? Or maybe you are just tired of what passes for a smart thriller in the Hollywood mold, looking for something that is a little different, intriguing, smart, and genuinely thrilling. Well, have I got the movie for you. I have to recommend that you give Notes on a Scandal a spin, it is not what you think and more than you expect.

The Namesake is a film based on the novel of the same name from Jhumpa Lahiri. It is a lyrical story of assimilation, culture clash, and a journey of self discovery. It tells its story through a shifting viewpoint and three main characters covering a span of 25 years. It is a fascinating tale that is sweet and heartfelt, punctuated with moments of anger and sadness. Beyond that, it features the first dramatic lead for Kal Penn, who is impressive as the central character of Gogol.

To outline, kid gets sentenced to a few months of house arrest. While under said arrest, he gets a little stir crazy and starts watching people in neighboring houses. While he people watches, he sees what he believes to be a murder. Now, this troublemaker needs to find a way to prove it without getting himself killed. Tell me if this begins to sound familiar. Essentially, this boils down to Rear Window, the classic Alfred Hitchcock thriller that starred Jimmy Stewart. It has been dressed down and rebuilt into a movie that is carefully structured for the modern teenage audience. Fortunately, despite the familiarity of its elements, they are pieced together in a sly manner that belies the intelligence and genuine creepiness that it contains. It successfully sidesteps the pitfalls of other pseudo-remakes of recent years by actually being interesting and containing worthy performances.

Looking for a way to waste an evening? Do you like films that lack any pretense of believability? Do you like having everything explained to you in the final ten minutes of a movie? Do you enjoy watching movies that are all about the plot, even when the plot doesn’t know where it’s going? If so, Perfect Stranger may be the perfect movie for you. I tell you, there is more believability in any one episode of Perfect Strangers than there is in this movie. If you desire a movie that throws out the idea of suspension of disbelief and goes straight to the disbelief, this will likely top you best movies of 2007 list. However, if you are a little more discerning in your movie selection, you going to want to look elsewhere.

The teen-ified version of the Hitchcock classic Rear Window completely dominated at the box office this weekend. Disturbia easily took the top spot over this weeks field. Six new movies entered the wide release fray with only half that number making any sort of impact. It was like the attack of the mediocre movie at the cineplex. Everywhere you turn you are confronted by choices, and none of them were terribly appealing. Still, despite the overwhelming mediocrity the public spoke, and fortunately chose the best of the lot. I am not saying its great, but it was actually an entertaining film pieced together from that which has come before.

Shot in 2003, this overly convoluted thriller is finally seeing the light of day. It probably should have been relegated to the direct to DVD market. It sets up an interesting tale of identity, both racial and personal, but quickly slips into a cheap knockoff of Christopher McQuarrie’s infinitely superior Usual Suspects. The wide array of stars attempt to take a big bite out of the script, but for all of their self important bluster they fall short of invigorating the stoic proceedings.

It has been awhile since we had a film with Vikings in it. The last one I can remeber is 1999’s The 13th Warrior, which was helmed by John McTiernan and starred Antonio Banderas. There may have been somethin in between, but I cannot recall any. Now, 8 years later we are faced with the Marcus Nispel helmed Viking actioner starring Doom’s Karl Urban. Whether or not this film is successful in bringing Viking action back to the big screen is debatable. I, for one, found it to be a fun, if forgettable romp through a bygone era, not at all believable, but an entertaining diversion.

The first thing that you should know before entering the theater is that there is no story. Seriously. There is the slimmest outline of a tale, basically the bare minimum to string along the action sequences. So, if you are looking for an intriguing tale of Viking aggression and the journey of a boy becoming a man trapped between two worlds and the consequences that it has, you are going to have to look elsewhere. However, if all you are looking for is a diversion with some flashy action, this may be right up your alley.